13 Things I Don’t Like

1. People who leave their cell phone on the table while I’m talking to them. I feel like I have to compete  for their attention with an electronic device. What’s the point of telling something that requires deep thought if our conversation will be interrupted at any moment?

2. Girls who immediately try to change the first song I put on after they enter my apartment. This is one of my major tests to find out if a girl is able to not be selfish for three and a half minutes to enjoy something that her partner prefers. It’s the most reliable sign I have for whether a girl is relationship worthy or not.

3. Guys who don’t ask questions. Either you use conversation as a window to learn more about other people, or as a means to get things out of your head. I’m convinced that self-absorbed men would make far better companions if they simply started a blog.

4. People who tell me I “should” do something for the benefit of society instead of for myself. I don’t have to do anything but pay my taxes and die.

5. Foreign bars that don’t have good vodka. Brown liquors like whiskey are prone to cause bad hangovers when consumed in large quantities, making it more suitable for a weekday libation than weekend fun. Mixing alcohol with sugar also increases the severity of hangovers. If I’m going to party all I need is a decent vodka that is consumable with only ice. Sadly, many European bars don’t have this.

6. Guys who spit horrible game within earshot. I have a low cringe reflex when it comes to hearing bad game. It offends the past 11 years of my life where I practiced my own game to make it something digestible to women of the world. If a man is telling an average girl how beautiful she is, or is actively seeking her approval, I have to physically withdraw myself from the area.

7. Chicken breast that starts smelling only a day or two after you purchase it. This is common when buying from foreign grocery stores because of their limited use of preservatives. Washing the chicken does very little to reduce the speed of spoilage. I learned that you can still cook stinky chicken and it will taste fine, but it should be thrown out if it starts to become slimy. In America I’ve never had stinky chicken—I can let it sit on the counter for a couple days and it still won’t smell.

8. Having to piss with strong morning wood. I get urine all over the toilet.

9. Girls who reply to a text message the following day. Bitch, I know you’re not that busy and I know you stay up late doing nothing of importance. If you’re going to take a full night to write back, I’m going to take a full eternity to do the same.

10. Mediocre books. They’re not good enough to be excited about reading, but not bad enough that you shouldn’t finish. With so many few books that are great, I’m afraid mediocre books are unavoidable.

11. Condoms. They should only be used in the first night you have sex with someone, but never again. If you like each other to repeat the sex then there is a seed of love that would easily justify a trip to the doctor for STD treatment or an abortion.

12. Belts that don’t fit perfectly. One notch makes the pants too loose and the next make them too tight. I customized my casual belt by creating a notch, but I slimmed down shortly after, making the next official notch more suitable. My ugly customization is on full display to the ladies.

13. Fat arms. The body part that is most visible on humans are the arms. It’s the window to the rest of your body, and one reason why meatheads spend so much time doing bicep curls in the gym. Unfortunately for women, arms are a suitable place to store fat thanks to their physiology, unlike a fat man who can still have reasonably slender arms but a gigantic stomach. Women who have fat arms announce to me—and the world—that they don’t care about their appearance, and if they don’t care about their appearance, how are they going to care about pleasing me?

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  • Cro

    I would have bet any money that a guy like my hero Roosh could piss with morning word hard as steel with the precision on a USMC sniper. Read and learn.

  • Brandon

    Roosh,

    When you have a hard on and need to drain your bladder, place your thumb at the tip of the head and use it to apply a downward pressure which will direct the stream straight into the comode with good aim. It’s way easier than pointing your entire rod down…or just piss in the shower.

  • Adrian

    I live in Europe. When you say they don’t have good vodka, what brand are you referring to? I thought some Russian vodka’s you find here are the best… or maybe not.

  • Benny

    Roosh If you stopped playing Coldplay 24/7 then chicks wouldn’t have to change it.

  • Benny

    @ Brandon, does that actually work,or do you want to see Roosh covered in piss?

  • Alf

    Regarding item number 2 – all women are selfish pigs, so you have to condition them. A good beating with a car antenna will set it straight.

  • packman

    see fat arms don’t bother me (well, just their existence i mean), actually they are sometimes a good indicator of a chubby chick that is good at hiding chubbyness with her clothes. also, a chick that wears loose fitting clothes can be hard to tell if she’s fat, but the arms are always a dead giveaway.

  • Pirata

    Out of curiositu, what are you favorite vodka brands?

  • Brandon

    @benny

    yea it works for me…in other words, aim with your cockhead instead of your rod. I’d recommend all guys try it.

  • outlaw josey wales

    To get rid of morning wood: flex a large muscle group (like your quad) for 30 seconds, wood will go away. Then piss.

  • mancooking

    to keep raw chicken longer… marinade it with natural preservers.. virtual all spices and herbs help stay spoiling.. and lemon/lime juice as well..

    ground pepper, tumeric, herbs, garlic, etc.

  • http://www.twitter.com/dumasworld dumasworld

    europe has the best vodka, and all of them should be drank with ice. Smirnoff should only be used to tend to wounds.

  • http://www.solteroenmadrid.com Soltero en Madrid

    When you’re so drunk that you don’t know if the girl you are talking to is fat or not, always look to her arms. Politicians lie, people lie, clothes lie, but the arms always tell the truth.

  • Zorro

    ?????

    I have never in my life been able to piss through morning wood, afternoon wood or evening wood. I didn’t think it was possible. My dick is either prepped for shucking urine or shucking semen. It doesn’t multitask.

    One of us is weird. Maybe it’s me. I still get through the day.

    As re #1 (cell phones), all I can say is this: When someone takes a cell call while they’re with me, I get up and leave. Visit the Czech Republic. They don’t tolerate rude over there. They stomp on rude 24/7/365. Our culture of tolerance is dogshit. We need intolerance. Intolerance kicks ass. Tolerance bends over.

  • http://whoism3.wordpress.com M3

    1. Drives me insane.

    2. ex-FWB always turned my shit off to play her stuff. bah.

    6. I’ll try and speak more quietly. :P

    7. Freeze that shit.

    8. I’ll admit it here and now. I will sit down for a morning wood piss. Too lazy to wipe shit down.

    13. Makes me shrivel up and go limper than a quick dip in Lake Ontario during a brutal winter snowstorm.

  • k

    i agree with everything EXCEPT the part about the condoms…….

  • zeltrine

    I’m interested in number 3. Can you explain it a bit more? How does starting a blog make you better at asking questions?

    [Roosh: It lets you get out all your stories and beliefs so that around people you do a better job of focusing on them.]

  • http://AroundtheWorldin80Jobs.com Turner

    @17 I believe he was referring to that if you are going to blab about yourself incessantly, and not care about learning about others, being a blogger, or having a blog to let yourself brain fart to the world would make you not do this as much with your partner?

    Bloggers that I met at a this travel conference, TBEX – http://aroundtheworldin80jobs.com/travel-blogger-conference-tbex-2012-swag/
    Were a mixed bunch. Many talking about themselves nonstop, others were fairly insightful and asked good questions, Unfortunately the former was a bigger group than the latter.

    1-I find it amazing the number of people out to dinner these days not even talking but just looking at their phones. sad.

    2-Like this apartment tell, I wish I could use it, I never seem to get to the thought of girlfriend material cross my mind.

    -6 bad game makes my cringe so bad I also have to walk away too, but even worst for me is hearing a loud American accent in a bar in Europe dropping bad chop.

  • HalfAsian

    Good points all, except the condom one.

    Yeah, STD fears are way overblown in the U.S., and the fact that the condom broke and you didn’t notice for 30 sec will NOT make you get AIDS and die…

    However, if you’re doing industrial-strength shagging with multiple partners, and most of them are the type that goes for the same-day sex with a guy they never met means that trouble will hit at some point, either in the form of pregnancy/child-support, minor STDs or HIV. The fact she likes you enough to get to the 2nd shag doesn’t mitigate the risk so much.

    Even worse since you’re a minor celebrity now and as a U.S. citizen can’t truly run away from child support (even if the claim originates from abroad).

  • http://delicioustacos.com delicioustacos

    How about having to piss with morning wood *and* the dried jizz blockage after a night of porking that gives you that weird fork-piss. Stuff of nightmares.

  • Buddhist Chick

    Hi Roosh!

    Question Reposted:

    34 Buddhist Chick
    October 17th, 2012 @ 12:47 am

    Roosh, what do you tell your family when you go travelling? What is it they think you do? Do any of them read your blog or watch your videos?

  • По реке

    Word. 1 through 4 drive me crazy, each of those almost sum up the dearth of intelligence and grace among the majority of the population…I’ve basically gotten used to that kind of childish nonsense from most people I come across. 6 sucks as well but it’s also an opportunity haha.

    One more for the list…douchebags smugly telling everyone how fluent they are in a language when they aren’t even at a respectable beginner’s level. Sometimes I just shake my head but it’s always nice to expose one of those fraudulent idiots once in awhile.

  • http://www.sosuave.net Vice from SoSuave

    I also hate mediocre books, many of the books on “David DeAngelo’s “Oprah Book Club” ” book list were read in a very short time with a highlighter and note tab to mark relevant and applicable information.

  • chickadee

    Re: girls who take a while to text back

    I know I’m probably in the minority, but I almost take forever to respond back to everyone, no matter what. Even my parents. It’s not that I don’t love them or they’re not important, sometimes I don’t know what to say or I get nervous about handling a situation. For example, someone texts me asking to hang out. But I have a lot of work to do and don’t want to say no. I’m left in this awkward situation that I’d rather avoid.

    It’s incredibly immature, regardless, but I can’t explain how potentially stressful it is. Especially if you’re someone who gets texted by at least half a dozen people a day, multiple times a day. Not to mention facebook, email, mail, phone calls. It gets really stressful. Kind of like the information overload you mentioned in your last post.

    Sometimes I just turn my phone off for some freedom and solitude.

  • complaining can be fun

    Ooh, fun topic — let’s all chime in with our petty gripes — seriously — this could be good entertainment. Okay, I’ll start:

    1. Second on “people who don’t ask questions” (either gender) — self-absorbtion & lack of curiosity is a big turn-off, and my respect for that person drops.

    2. People talking AT me rather than TO me. They don’t notice or care how I’m responding to what they’re saying. They don’t give me a chance to respond. It isn’t conversation, it’s a monologue, a speech, a performance. They will just as happily say all the same stuff to ANYONE ELSE — nothing they’re saying is affected by the fact they’re talking (on & on) to ME.

    3. guests in my home leaving the bathroom door wide open right after they flush the toilet. The toilet is for bodily waste — as for the toilet, I don’t want to hear it, smell, see it, etc.

    4. I can’t get jeans that fit me — either the waist fits and the seat is baggy, or the seat fits and the waist is too tight. And don’t suggest ‘relaxed fit’ — just a different version of not fitting me right in both places.

    5. Hearing neighbors’ TV or music through the walls (or floor, ceiling). Manufacturers have tweaked the damn bass so strong now (to give the sound ‘presence’ and hold your attention), it cuts through walls like a damn laser ray.
    People are allowed to invade your home with their damned noise. Bass coming through walls sounds like shit.

    6. Oblivious neighbors upstairs stomping around like clumsy elephants (no matter how little they weigh). I know I outweigh them, and usually I walk silently in my place. It’s easy; just takes awareness & consideration (which is beyond so many people).

    7. Finding other people left trash in the woods right off some scenic nature trail — beer/soda bottles etc. What the hell are they thinking? If they appreciate this rare place enough to spend time here, why fuck it up with their shit? I suspect it’s a pathetic passive expression of hostility from some loser who feels powerless and wronged by society. I’d like to make them eat their trash, or wear it around their neck for a week.

    8. when a woman sucks my cock but does it ineffectively and then I’m standing there thinking how can I stop this without making her feel bad?

    9. women pushing my head down to lick her pussy or saying ‘harder’ (in a cold hard voice, demanding) when i’m sucking her tits. damn, i’m not your sex slave, bitch. She’d get much better response from me if she would beg for what she wants in a soft warm feminine voice, and talk sweet & humble — like “please –

    10. women online dating posting pix that are so misleading, inaccurate, etc.

    11. women in DC area (VA etc) being so complacent about being overweight, expecting plenty of quality men to find her attractive enough with all that flab on her. Maybe part of the problem is there must be lots of guys happy to settle for that fat slob look, and she’s content to settle for the kind of man…

    12. some women acting like all smart good people agree that we are like ‘quarantined’ to date only within a 5 year range of our own age, and a man should be ashamed to consider dating a woman with any age difference beyond 5 years.
    In this area hot women 25 years younger than I am give me IOIs etc. Not all young women are immature or boring; not all older women are truly mature adults or interesting …

    ahh, that felt good … thanks Roosh … I hope there’s lots of fun exchange w/readers on today’s topic of ‘things that bug me’ …

  • Steve Lurkel

    I used a drill to add another hole to my casual belt. Came out very clean-looking.

  • Buggy

    Funny and entertaining list, but going without condoms is playing russian roulette with 5 chambers loaded. Trusting a woman to agree to an abortion is something no one with advanced knowledge of females would ever dream of doing. You are leaving your right flank wide open for attack.

    The true player must use condoms every time without fail – it’s one of the biggest drawbacks to the lifestyle. But the alternatives are so much worse. Perhaps you think you’re immune because of your vagabond intercontinental lifestyle? I’d think twice….an angry spurned feminist you never called back could fuck your life over.

  • Stuki

    @25 Squats, lunges, deads, GHDs……. And ditch long distance running for bicycling in a high gear. While keeping your running up by sprinting.

    The “potato with matches sticking out of it” predicament only gets worse as you age, as does your ability to correct it. (Leaving out implants or other obscene tricks of voluntary deformation)

  • Emily

    Dude, you leave chicken sitting on the counter? Gross.

  • Stuki

    It’s not “your” taxes. If you must pay the highway robbers to avoid incarceration, go ahead. But doing so is only a practical issue.

    Was I your parents, your attitude to condom use would scare me. But I hear being a risk taker is catnip for the ladies :)

  • Mark Minter

    This comment has nothing to do with this post. I was searching for “hitting the wall women” in Google to see if “Post Wall” and “Hitting the Wall” were becoming common terms. What come up with this one entry from the RooshVForums and down in the page was this gif about this bulldog fucking some bitch bulldog, throwing up while fucking, and then stopping fucking to lick it up.

    And it is so hilarious I have to post the location. It is just the location to the gif and not the original page

    http://i45.tinypic.com/eumwio.gif

    The original page was about some teen actress, Lark Voorhies AKA Lisa Turtle from Saved By the Bell and she has hit the wall at 38.

    http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-15195.html

  • http://bluestatetourist.wordpress.com Mohammed Chang

    Get a belt like this:

    http://www.jcrew.com/mens_category/accessories/belts/PRDOVR~30878/30878.jsp

    A bunch of different folk make similar plaque belts. They don’t use holes. Never have that problem again.

  • Jay in DC

    With the amount of fucking you do, not using condoms will be your undoing.

    My non-scientific evidence has been that hotties and fatties are the most dangerous, by far. They both catch lots of dick for the opposite reasons. The mid-range girls 4s to about 7s are the “safest” but even then, its a risky affair.

    You are going to end up with a dick so scarred up from having warts removed, so sore from weeping herpes lesions, etc. that no one is going to want to fuck you. And then there are the real serious ones like syphilis or HIV, your dating life ends at that point unless you are just down with spreading deadly diseases to strangers.

    Condoms are AWFUL, everyone can agree. But rawdogging strangers is as a poster above put it Russian Roulette with 5 chambers loaded. 20% of sexually active people in the US have the Herp. And something obscene like 80% have some form of HPV. You want to play those odds? Internationally, I don’t know what the numbers are like.

  • Buggy

    Here is some annoying shit I frequently run into:

    People who are in the checkout line and decide at the last minute that they forgot something, so they send the checker awol for five minutes to go retrieve their obscure item while everyone waits in line. Or people who argue about coupons and pricing, knowing full well that the computer is far more likely to be correct than they are. People who engage the cashier in some banal smalltalk that takes their time and attention away from their jobs. Or the worst, people who have their partner continue to run back to the aisles and shop for additional items while the other waits in the checkout line with the cart.

    If you do not have every one of your items in the cart and you are not certain that all of your coupons are valid and match the proper sized item that you got, then get the fuck out of line until you are ready!

  • Mark Minter

    Here is good primer on conversation from PUA forums.

    The first talks of DHV and attraction switches and how to incorporate them deliberately into conversion.

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-talk-girls/15543-guide-dhv-autismus-conversationalist-trilogy-eine.html

    The second talks about using questions but not only questions for question’s sake The following is blurb from the post. I found it informative. It is a bit of a long post but worth your time.

    DON’T:Ask interview-style questions.
    “Where are you from?”
    “Alaska”
    “Do you like sushi?”
    “No”
    “Question”
    “Answer”
    “Question”
    “Answer”

    *crickets*

    DON’T: Scramble through Statement + Question
    (The statement + question style which is perfect for daygame, but will only get about 30 minutes of material out of follow-up questions and cocky/funny comments – when on a date)

    DO: Use statement + detail + statement + statement + statement + detail + (optional) question/or/conclusion

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-talk-girls/16015-autismus-conversationalist-trilogy-deux.html

  • http://flyfreshandyoung.WordPress.com FFY

    All this condom hysteria, geeze.

    After you raw dog long enough and realize your dick does not in fact fall off after sticking it in a vagina, going back is tough as fuck.

    I say use as discretion warrants, but God damn some of you guys think every chick out there has AIDS

  • Preservatives in US food

    Don’t trust that shiny “fresh” US chicken. They have been plumped to make them look good. A fresh chicken lasts 2 days and should be consumed within that period.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plumping

    Likewise, don’t trust milk from CVS and other US pharmacies grocery stores, which last 2 weeks. There is nothing fresh about it!

  • Days of Broken Arrows

    14. Men who keep posting those stupid, unfunny “women in binders” memes on their Facebook feeds. Nothing screams “BETA MALE” more than guys who “are really concerned” about what Republicans think of women.

  • Refly

    I can kill morning wood pretty reliably by thinking of all the cool dunks I would do if I could dunk.

  • Roland3337

    Pissing with morning wood ain’t easy. I just open the shower door and proceed to hose it down. Aim becomes superfluous, and there’s no need to force a southern orientation when Richard wants to go north.

  • cool

    Can anyone actually nut with a condom on?

  • Equal Opportunity Dater

    Great read, as usual, as well as some interesting comments. About condoms, you get used to them if you use them regularly. And you will sleep a lot better at night knowing you don’t have to worry about getting the bitch pregnant, or getting herpes, warts, or god forbid, HIV. Anytime I failed to use a rubber, I always worried about repercussions and was constantly checking my junk and was paranoid as hell. If a girl excites me, I can use a condom and bust a nut, and often times have found I can go longer with one. They’re really not that bad when you get used to it, and you’re truly better off.

  • Pietro

    I share a few of these. One of my major gripes is men who wear hats indoors. If you’re going be “that guy with the hat”, learn how to wear it.

    But no no no never to abortion.

  • Thor

    1. Better than leaving it in your pocket where it fries your nuts. I leave mine face down.

    8. Pee in the bathtub.

  • DVY

    Roosh,

    Step your belt-game up. Check out European hole-less slide buckle belts. No holes. Better appearance, and the increments go up by .25 size(im guessing?).

    This is the site I used last year. (No afiliation to them whatsoever). http://www.slidebelts.com/.

    [Roosh: One advantage of the notch is that I can tell if I'm gaining weight or not. It keeps me honest.]

  • Santiago solari

    For 8, you could just pee in the wash basin, like I do.

  • Oregonziggy

    Agreed condoms suck. I sometimes wonder if they were invented by a woman just to make our enjoying a vagina well way less enjoyable.

  • Shawn

    Giving new meaning to condoms are for pussies.

    http://dangerandplay.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/how-to-avoid-stds-part-2/

  • Jack

    Love how this has turned into a practical discussion about morning wood and piss :) Now I know that I need to hold down my cockhead with my thumb, then control the spray like a boss (I didnt know this before). My previous solution was to try to piss directly at the bowl, I would mostly fail..my dick something between a baseball bat and a firehose.Finally removing the evidence with a high powered douche that would leave the bathroom suspiciously wet :) :)

  • madmax

    hey man, good to see you back, your blogging tells me the fever is gone.

    agree about everything you say, I particularly like points 9 and 13.

    Yeah, a bitch who takes a day to text back, it’s not worth my time.

    As for their arms, even most pretty girls have either thin arms like a praying mantis, or saggy arms that makes me think I’d look away even if I were to fuck her.

    I am not looking for these crazy and masculine women who lift weights, but there’s nothing better than a sexy girl with a firm body.

  • ken

    What people today call morning wood, used to be called a piss hard. If you have sex with it, to a happy ending, it still won’t go down until you urinate. I read an advice column one time that said there was no such thing as a piss hard, so obviously your mileage may vary. As for the aiming problem, get a urinal. They only cost a few hundred bucks, and people will know that a man lives in your house. Why should a man have to use the ladies room in his own house?

    BTW, wash your third-world chicken in vinegar and/or lemon juice. It will keep longer.

    I had sex with hundreds of prostitutes without condoms in the Philippines for two years and never caught anything from them. Wash up and take a good long beer whiz afterwards. I worked for me.

  • ralph

    Dude,
    You can never suggest to strangers not to have sex without a condom. There are many STDs that a trip to the doctor would not be able to fix very much, and in many events STDs (also referred to as STIs) are life threatening. For the sake of everybody’s own health, please use a condom unless you are certain that all parties involved are free of STDs.

  • ThatNorwegianGuy

    Good list; numbers six, eight and thirteen are particularly relatable.

  • Anonymous

    So girls complain a lot, okay. What makes them think they’re entitled, selfish bitchy princesses, right? All they do is complain how horrible the world is. Oh wait, Roosh just did the same.

  • vociferous

    Oh god, fat arms would have to be my number 1 pet peeve about women. Even the “thin” girls with flabby, non-contoured arms piss me off. It’s as bad as having a flat ass.

  • stray

    I dunno about #11, playa. As much as going ‘raw daddy’ is great, I will NOT risk anything with these heauxs out here in the states. TOO RISKY.

  • emily

    Roosh,
    Aren’t you a biologist? How do you not know the fresh food in US supermarkets is irradiated? Chicken, fruit, bread…all are bombarded with radiation to kill bacteria, viruses and fungi, thereby extending their shelf life.