This post is inspired from a recent entry on G Manifesto’s blog.
1. I was a spoiled momma’s boy. For the seven years before my sister was born, my mom treated me like a petit prince, giving me whatever I wanted and indulging all my tantrums. Even late into adulthood, she would offer to do my dirty laundry or throw money at me when I didn’t ask. I would often leave her house with tupperware containers full of delicious Turkish food. As a child, I ended up developing a strong attachment to her that led to extreme shyness (I’d latch onto her leg whenever in the presence of strangers). For my first day of day care and kindergarten, I cried while everyone else played.
2. I challenged other boys to fights, and lost. I remember losing three fights that I started. One was after I purposefully destroyed another kid’s homework by walking on it. After school he slapped me in front of a large crowd. He was about to pummel me but adults appeared and he got scared. Another time I was talking trash on the basketball court and got beat by an African kid who left me whimpering in the corner while he continued playing ball. The last case I remember was when I challenged a guy while on my bike. He connected a punch to my face that made me fall off.
3. I was one of the only white kids in my neighborhood. Most of my friends were hispanic, black, or from other third world countries. I didn’t have any race identity or consciousness that I was either white or Middle Eastern because I was constantly surrounded by diversity. Not until I got to high school did I become more aware of the boundaries. Even into adulthood, most of my friends remain either minorities or the first-born generation of immigrant parents (e.g., Russian, Indian, Persian).
4. My first job was a janitor at a bagel shop. My daily duties included washing the dishes, mopping the floors, and cleaning the bathroom. After my first day of work, my mom cried because she thought her son was doing menial labor, but I loved it because at 16 I had a car and a lot of disposable cash. I later got a job at Boston Market where I made a bit more. I had early experiences in life where I was rewarded when I worked hard, so whenever I want something, I naturally default to that strategy.
5. I took French for four years. I didn’t take the class seriously in high school so when it got too hard I ass-kissed by helping my teacher set up a language computer lab at the time when the internet was becoming popular (1997). I remember installing some programs that allowed me to remotely prank my classmates. One would display a warning box telling them to step away from the computer because the “radiation protection mechanism” on the monitor had failed. Another program had the Energizer bunny going across all the lab computers in sequential order.
6. I was a late bloomer. I had a bone age about three years young than my actual age, so when I was 16 I looked closer to 12. It’s not until I was a freshman in college did I start to look like a man. I think I’m going through a second puberty as I write this because the amount of hair I have in my ears and on my back is increasing at an alarming rate. Most of the players I know also happen to be late bloomers. Not getting into the game until you’re almost an adult means you will be more logical and analytical about your approach to getting laid. You’re also more likely to learn game skills from print.
7. I hated reading. My verbal SAT score was 470 out of 800. I never got higher than a B in English or writing class. After graduating from college I started reading self-improvement books that acted as a gateway drug to normal books, primarily non-fiction. My reading habits recently exploded after buying a Kindle. I’ve read more books in the past year than in my first 22 years of life.
8. My mother’s side of the family has a few depressives and substance abusers. I’ve had addictions to video games, gambling, and game. There have also been some stretches where I’ve had to curtail my drinking. Right now I can’t say I’m truly addicted to anything as even my slavery to pussy has toned down greatly from years past, though I’m sure it’s still way above average.
9. I’m frugal. Lessons I’ve learned since eliminating my credit card debt after college has stuck with me into my 30s. If I come across a windfall of cash, I save 90% of it and spend 10% at my leisure. I think there’s a lot of truth in the Fight Club quote “The things you own end up owning you.” I do a cost-benefit analysis whenever buying material things, even a $20 t-shirt. I’m much more likely to spend money on experiences that’ll give me bangs or good stories.
10. I originally wanted to be a freelance writer. I envisioned myself being a writer for magazines and travel guidebooks, even after I published Bang. I took first steps to get on that path but then realized that my voice would be molded by other people and I’d have to change my writing depending on what the editor needed. By writing a blog and self-publishing my own books, I could release what I thought was best. I’m lucky that my voice (and lack of filter) is something that a lot of guys appreciate, but it has put me in a box.
11. Most of my life is boring. I spend several hours a day in front of my laptop. On most days I have to force myself outside. What you read comes from less than 15% or less of my actual existence. I look to work to ground me and gives me “permission” to have fun. I don’t feel right about going out if I didn’t put in an honest day’s work.
12. On the seventh month after releasing Bang, I sold seven copies and made only $56. I was certain that self-publishing was not the way to make money so I started work as a bartender when I came back from my first trip to South America. I kept promoting Bang while writing on the side until the book went viral in its own right. Three and a half years later, when Day Bang came out, I sold over 2,000 copies of my books in one month. I bought myself a suit, put the rest of the money into my savings account, and took four days off before diving back into writing.
13. I don’t trust many people. Right now there are only three guys in the world that I completely trust and can count on for support. I’m always open to meeting new people, but the level of rapport I have with these three will probably not be matched for the rest of my life. As I age it’s getting harder to make friends because I’m becoming more particular and neurotic, as I believe the case for most people.
14. I don’t care for living a long life. I’ve seen how elderly people live and it’s not pleasant. I exercise somewhat regularly and eat right, but mostly to have a strong body for the present moment to attract women, not for old life.