A reader requested I write about this Craigslist posting, about a woman who dated 34 men she met off Craigslist in one year.

The posting is written in a universal font size, but when I came across “I’m young, very thick, cute, tall, and blonde,” my brain read it like this:

I’m young, very thick, cute, tall, and blonde.

Her profile sounds reasonable. If it wasn’t for the very thick part I can imagine myself hanging out with her and her progressive personality, if of course what she said reflected reality. By now I’ve learned that girls describe themselves with how they wish they were, not how they are. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was more annoying than that random dog that pissed on my leg last year.

I am promiscuous. (Wikipedia has a great definition of the word if you’re interested). I like sex. A lot. Actually, I love sex. I haven’t been in a real relationship in a very long time, and I miss regular sex (among other things). I’m multi-orgasmic, and while I’m not going to get too into it, I’m wierd when I’m not getting a sufficient dose of coitus. Now granted, while I am on the ADVENTUROUS side, I am no slut. I think the right guy is out there for me somewhere, but I don’t know where the hell he is, or why I haven’t found him yet.

Nothing wrong with being horny and fucking a lot of guys. As long as a girl doesn’t infect me with her tropical strain of the clap, I don’t care too much about how many dicks she has had inside her. Okay, maybe I do care, but the fact that I will never ask her about her sexual history means the issue probably won’t come up, unless she can’t help but tell me about the gangbang she was involved with in college where she was the only female (true story).

I’ve gotten over 3500 responses in the past 6 months

I believe it. Trying to get laid on the internet makes you an excellent copy/paste monkey and really takes “playing the percentages” to a level the idea of courtship has never seen in the history of man. No matter how monstrous the girl is, the internet is an attention generating machine that makes her think her value is higher than a girl who weighs under 200 pounds.

Even though our BBW is “not shallow or close-minded,” she proceeds to destroy most of the shlubs who dated her.

Little did I know that you would turn out to weigh about 100 LBS and look like a cancer patient

Seriously. You sent me pics, and I saw Calvin Klein Ads. You brought yourself, and I saw Kramer from Seinfeld. What the FUCK??

The minute you put the condom and slid inside me once, you came. PEACE OUT!

MY GOD YOU WERE THE FREAKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD.

Seriously, I know I give good head, but leave a girl alone man, it’s creepy.

CLEAN YOURSELF UP BEFORE YOU TAKE A GIRL OUT, DEUCHBAG.

You had white fizz at the corners of your mouth, and made me want to vomit.

YOU WERE THE WORST I’VE EVER HAD. Poor guy, you don’t watch enough porn.

You kinda had this strange constipated look on your face all the time.

…little did I know you would turn into a depressed, ADD, and OCD FREAK. When I touched your dick, you came in my hand.

I wanted to laugh just listening to you and your ridiculous little gay laugh

…and so on. We are now living in a society where a very thick girl can judge other men who, unlike her, have the willpower to stop shoveling double-meat cheesesteaks in their mouth.

She did have nice things to say about me though. I make an appearance at number 18 under my fake name Pat. Yeah I fucked a fatty off Craigslist. So what, who are you to judge? I was going through a cold streak and needed to build some momentum to resume fucking the supermodels that I usually get with.

18) PAT ROOSH : Wow you had a big dick. You were the greatest fuck buddy ever, because we weren’t attached, and didn’t know much about each other either. You sure did show me a good time more than once!! You were pretty cocky though, I mean.. you were hot, and you knew it. But come on, you still weren’t no Don Juan. You went and found yourself a girlfriend :(

Emphasis mine. The girlfriend excuse was a line, of course.

• I Have Reached The Pinnacle Of My Game
• Happy April Fools!
• I Dated A Girl Who Was In A Gangbang
• Boom!

Wow. Did you meet my college roommate? She so could have told the gangbang story. Oh, wait. Her best friend was there. Two girls and half the hockey team.

I read that one a few weeks ago. I was cracking up. That girl is something else.

“MY GOD YOU WERE THE FREAKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD” appears to be a compliment in the context of the rant.

Lol…

I actually read this post awhile ago, but I think it’s fictional. I mean, it has to be…this girl can’t be a real person. Real people don’t actually think and talk like this, right?

The statement, “But come on, you still weren’t no Don Juan” is a double-negative. It means,in fact, you are a Don Juan.

You know, I saw this and think is is real.

It doesn’t sound too far fetched, and we really do live in a world where women can get laid by walking out of their door. If a woman, even a thick woman, actively pursues men (i.e. posting on Craigslist) I do not think 34 random dudes is any stretch of the imagination.

So sure, everyone is going to call bullshit on the post, but let’s take into account a few facts here:

1) she is a fatty.. probably not used to getting male attention all her life
2) the internet makes it incredibly easy for women to get laid
3) she is young, growing up in an era where it is becoming more and more acceptable to “meet people online” as well as for girls to do as many guys as they please.
4) guys can bone her in a situation that minimizes the risk of her being rejected, made fun of, etc. She does not need to “put herself out there” and won’t get shot down because she’s a fatty.
5) she probably did not get a lot of sex until she discovered the internet (this bears repeating)

There are some messed up people out there. Ask anyone who works in health services of some sort, or even people who deal with a number of folks on a day to day basis. Everyone tries to pretend they’re normal, but most people have some issues, and a surprisingly large number of people really take things to an extreme.

Maybe I’m out of touch with craigslist, and it is some sort of running joke for writers to put up fake stuff, but I would ask “why?”

The story does not seem far-fetched to me, and considering it is a fatty, I believe it is indeed a real post. As for 34 random internet dudes in a year, all I can say is “go herpes!”

“…unless she can’t help but tell me about the gangbang she was involved with in college where she was the only female (true story).”

Sounds like quite a story (not her story itself, but the fact she randomly volunteered this info). How one earth do you react to that?

very funny…..laughing out loud…boss here, peace…..

Metro Section: Cheese Fetish, Turban Fetish, Tired Attempts at Humor Through Misogyny Fetish…

Annual Arlingtonians for a Clean Environment meeting tonight. [The Green Miles] Cowgirl Creamery debuts nettle covered “St. Pat’s”cheese on Saturday. [Counter Intelligence] Only two more DCist Exposed shopping days at the Warehouse. …

Nice post. Plus, a good way to be both self-effacing and brag at the same time!

The media term of hooking up with fat chicks is “hogging.” Back in 2004, there were several stories in the press about guys who went about doing this regularly. Funny stuff. I recommend against making thgis a regular practice, though, because fat women who don’t get a lot of attention tend to get very emotionally attached. It makes for a rough exit strategy when they won’t let go.

Heck, I’d even recommend against dating former fatties, because they tend to be emotionally unbalanced (i.e. they still feel rejected, even though they now look decent). This is the polar opposite of women who get fat in their 30s but still act like they’re the hot 20somethings they used to be.

[...] Yesterday I mentioned how a girl I dated told me she was in a gangbang. Let me share with you how that came about. [...]

i don’t believe you. you’re not pat. but really funny nonetheless

[...] mad or sad or wish to ‘reward’ yourself, you go to the fridge and somehow don’t have the willpower to stop shoveling double-meat cheesesteaks in your mouth, you wake up the next morning feeling like a toilet of a man, bloated and unable to control your [...]

Mandy, if this were a fake post, then Roosh would be lying about being Pat. And Roosh never lies, to my knowledge. Except about the big dick part, that’s a lie. If it was true, he’d have a cooler name, like Beefy McManstick, not that I’m saying anything.

That woman’s vajeen hangs like sleeve of wizard’s robe.

So Roosh, when did you make the trip to SF to hang out with this Craigslist slut who was so impressed with your largeness?

The posting is from SF Bay Area Craigslist,
not from DC.

There really are sexually independent women out here. Attractive ones, even.

Don’t believe me? Check out the pictures & read this article:

http://www.sfweekly.com/2007-04-04/news/sex-and-sensuality/

In the local slang “thick” is like “phat”,
not like “fat”.

Damn, you helped contribute to this fat tub of shit’s self-esteem. I can understand the dry spell, but surely you could have done better. When a hippo can get indignant about the quality of her sexual experiences, it just raises the bitchiness of all the rest of them.