Previously I wrote some reasons why I don’t prefer direct day game. It’s time to turn my criticisms to indirect day game, a method I teach in Day Bang, by sharing some of its weaknesses. Here are a few things I dislike:
1. It’s more boring and repetitive
While it’s easier to open than direct, your conversation will—at least in the beginning—be more boring. After your 100th time asking a girl where a certain landmark is, you’ll be wondering if you can maintain the energy to feign interest in the topic until you can get to the good stuff.
For this reason, it’s smart to rotate your indirect openers so that you don’t have opening fatigue. I retired my pet shop opener after using it for so long and I’m on the verge of retiring my supermarket opener. Next up in the pipeline is a public library opener, where I’m sure the girl will see the immense value of me wanting to read books and study philosophical matters.
2. It’s less congruent
The reason you’re approaching a girl is because you want to have sex with her, but when you open indirect, you are putting a temporary brick between your penis and her vagina. It may be hard for some guys to keep their eyes on the prize when they’re rambling about coffee shops or whatever, but this is what indirect requires you to do at the beginning.
Then again, anything short of opening with “Let’s fuck” is not 100% congruent, but direct game has less acting in that you are being more warm about your sexual intent. Just be aware of guys who say they use direct but open with a line about a girl’s hat before bantering about style. I still consider that indirect since it has no connection to your sexual desire.
3. You display less sexual power
Indirect requires you to bullshit asexually before delivering a statement of intent that you want to get to know her. This has the danger of putting you more in an “outgoing guy” box than a “raw masculine powerful” box, though you can combat this by having strong body language and eye contact. Nonetheless, it’s harder for normal guys to come across as bold or confident with indirect openers. It will require you at some point to make the switch from being merely chatty to escalating sexually before too much time has passed.
4. You have to worry about approach timing
If you want to go indirect on the street, you have to arrange a casual collision that doesn’t make it seem like you targeted her specifically. Sometimes this is impossible, especially if a girl passed you, meaning that a direct approach would then be required.
Indirect is most powerful indoors (cafes, shops, supermarkets, gyms, and bookstores) where there is a lot of context to aid in a more natural conversation and where failing with direct has a greater risk of being noticed by staff or security personal. For example, I can go indirect every day in my favorite cafe because I’m “just being chatty” or “outgoing,” but if I went direct then a cockblocking staff member may complain to management. Direct is better suited for the street, the venue where it has been honed by guys who don’t like coffee shops as much as I do.
There is great value in both indirect and direct day approaching, and any player worth his salt should be able to effortlessly open with either based on the situation (I currently estimate that about 65% of my day approaches are indirect). I recommend newbies start with indirect day game, which has a shorter learning curve, can be used in any venue, and gives you conversational practice even on girls who aren’t too attracted to you. Once you get comfortable with it, dabble in direct to offer you more refinement for street approaching, especially in foreign countries where direct game is more useful than in America.