6 Warning Signs To Look For Before The First Date

If you’ve read a couple of my travel guides, you’ll notice that there are a lot of differences when running game on foreign women. Some moves work well in country A but not B, and girls from country C have personalities that seem completely different than country D. It’s relatively easy to establish what is different, but how about the qualities that are the same? I found one such quality, a behavior that is so universal it should engraved into stone.

When a girl gives you resistance before the first date, or displays flakey behavior, you will not have sex with her.

This can occur in the following ways:

If she doesn’t reply to your first text within three hours. Three hours is a reliable cutoff in my experience, assuming you first write to her before 9pm. Unless her phone died, a rare occurrence, there is no reason for her to take more than three hours to reply. If a girl truly likes a guy, she won’t keep him waiting longer than that when the relationship is new.

If she declines your first date suggestion by saying she’s busy, but not offering an alternate date. It’s understandable that girls have extremely important social activities to attend to, but if she doesn’t make a counteroffer, you’re in trouble. Any attempt to offer another day will likely be shot down.

If she replies to your first date suggestion with a variant of “I’m not sure yet, let’s see.” The girl sees you as an inferior option and is hoping a better alternative will come along. In my experience, this is a “no” nearly 100% of the time (in fact it has only happened to me once where a date proceeded with such a reply). If a girl hits you with this, you must preserve your value by replying with, “That’s okay I’ll make other plans. Maybe another time.” Never let a girl leave you hanging as if you’re some puppy dog waiting for its master to return home.

If she attempts to change the venue of the first date. There is absolutely no valid reason for the girl to veto your first date suggestion and try to call the shots by suggesting her own venue. You stain yourself as a compliant beta if you agree to her changes. Either it’s your venue or it’s no date.

If she attempts to change the first date to an earlier time. This is a huge warning sign that means she has lined up another plan after your date. If you agree to her change, I promise that your date will not exceed 90 minutes and not end beyond a kiss on the cheek. When a girl attempts to do this, you must actually consider changing to a later time than what you initially suggested. This makes her definitively choose between either you or her backup plan. She can’t have both. On the other hand, it’s okay if she suggests a time that is later (maybe she ran late with work or errands and needs extra time to look pretty for you).

There are of course exceptions, but they are so few coming that you must stroke the eject lever when encountering these warning signs. It’s especially important never to comply with girls who behave in a masculine manner by trying to make the plans or change important details that suggest you are not important to her.

If you consider that the first date is essentially a job interview, where both parties do their best to display their most positive attributes, a woman who exhibits the above behaviors before it can even take place is simply not serious about getting the job. Save your time, save your energy, and move on to another applicant instead.

Read Next: No Girl Can Hurt A Man With Options

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  • Barbarossa

    2014. America. New digits. Text her or call her?

  • General Stalin

    Text. Calling girls is “creepy” in USA anno 2014

  • The Legend

    in the words of Vladi hehehehehe!

  • http://patientambition.com/ Nick

    Text unless she’s specific about a call, but you’ll probably never hear this from girls under 30

  • J Ron aka B Fly D Birds

    Solid Roosh

    What spots you like best for bitches in Europe now?

  • Go Banana

    great advice from a veteran. never even thought about the early-date reschedule.

  • the ball pit

    A younger me — high school age — dumped a girl who constantly flaked out on dates I suggested and refused to say ‘hi’ to me in public, but made out constantly with me at parties we were at etc. I detected crazy bitch, but I was never sure if I made the right decision. Looks like I did.

  • Poder

    “If she doesn’t reply to your first text within 3 hours.”

    100 percent true! I figured this out years ago. If I don’t receive a response within those first 3 hours I typically delete the number and move on.

  • Grampy_bone

    This is great advice. If I get anything less than an enthusiastic “Yes!” for a date, I bail.

    I was texting this girl and she seemed engaged. I said “let’s do drinks x night” and she responded with “possibly.” No follow up, no counter offer, nothing. So I said “great see you there at 9.” She just responded with a smiley face.

    I saw the flake coming so I just went ahead wi th other plans that night. Didn’t text, call, anything, and she never contacted me either asking where I was. So we mutually stood each other up. No big loss, just shows how disrespectful women will be in leading you on when they have no intention of actually showing up.

  • Mavwreck

    There are a bunch of good points here. The last point about moving the time up is a great one – it was news to me but makes perfect sense.

    I’d be a bit more careful about applying #4 (changing the venue of the first date) if food is involved. The girl may have different food preferences than you – or even real dietary restrictions.

    Two caveats, though:
    1. Even if she rejects one venue for a valid reason, there’s a difference between letting you pick a second venue and forcing her choice on you. The latter is giving her home field advantage (on top of any possible “too demanding” flags).
    2. Should a first date even include food? That’s a separate question. :)

  • http://datalaundering.org/blog/ Fry Koskenin

    This is a VERY good and totally true summary. I can say, in hindsight, that nearly 100% of my experiences have adhered to these rules. In fact, just within the last week, I was on the losing end of two of the listed scenarios. My gut told me they were bad signs, but I followed through like a tool and confirmed that they were. Again, a fantastic and helpful list. Thanks.

  • TyKo Steamboat

    I’m 30 … I mostly surprise the shit outta chicks with the call. Then is what happens next is they will not answer & they’ll proceed to text you uncontrollably which I don’t mind actually because I’d rather text anyways because there are things that you can surely text that you can’t necessarily say aloud at first. (Innuendos & such…) But I still stick to my guns, the first initiation should be the phone call as it is my dominant & a text is more cowardly as seen subliminally in the back of the female mind.

  • TyKo Steamboat

    When does a chick ever move the time up?
    Seriously…If anything they’re all consistently an hour late every time. They need that extra time to find a matching pair of flip-flops in their toxic trash dump they refer to as “closets”

  • 2525

    Since communique between the sexes now is via texting (at least the initial setting up the first meeting anyway) I always wondered what an acceptable response time would be. And I always assumed it should hours, not a day. And 3 hour time frame sounds good.

  • Roosh_V

    “I get the suspicion that his upcoming book is going to be one depressing piece of work revealing many ugly epiphanies about the world.”

    http://i.imgur.com/gZH1pyP.gif

  • 2525

    Very funny… :) care to elate in a few words here about your upcoming book?

  • ATC

    With my most recent flake (abroad, she didn’t have a car but I did) I said “I’ll pick you up at your house.” She said, “You’ll get lost. We’ll meet at Starbucks.” –> FLAKE.

    However, anyone who’s a newbie abroad is going to make some stupid rookie venue choices, so a suggested venue change isn’t necessarily a red flag under certain circumstances.

    If you’re a local or familiar with the area, then yes, stick to your guns.

  • preppin

    Solid Roosh. And, oh so true. I hadn’t thought about the reschedule gambit, because I’m usually the one doing a minor reschedule just to test the waters of a girls commitment and flexibility — and sometimes because I’m stacking dates.

  • Ternarydemon

    “If she attempts to change the venue of the first date.”

    This is so tue. Happened me twice, as I was startin in Game. Never again. Last couple times it happend, I immedaitely deleted the number.

  • Chris James P

    Spot on advice. True talk.

  • Roosh_V

    It doesn’t happen often, but it will happen to you.

  • Kaizen

    fucking genius
    recent flake was 3/6 on the list

  • James Bond

    I especially agree with your point regarding white women. They truly are the most entitled, spoiled, arrogant and rude women in the world. Studies show that white American women are the ones who file the most sexual harassment charges and the most false rape charges.
    I avoid white women in America like the plague. Feminism has ruined them and poisoned their minds. They are also the most stuck up and the most unfriendly women in the USA. Just say “no” to white American women!

  • 100 Proof Is All I Know

    Roosh
    Why do we have to wait until August to buy the book?
    What trials and tribulations have you had to endure in getting it to the marketplace?
    If its an e-book format like all the other Roosh titles I’ve bought from you- could you at least let the guys like me who are forum members and past direct customers from your site have an early stab at reading it with some bonuses too?

    You should do consulting because you’ve revolutionized game for alot of guys aka if a guys Country is full of 330 million people and some wack bitches who are 49ers (4s acting like they’re 9s) go to the airport as that’s better than any fitness model personal chef and psyhologist romantic media archetype provider supplication clown game ones uptight white knight society tries to make a man confirm too. Now boarding is all I got to say bout that bull shit.

  • Kizman

    and yet WN’s on the net are still beta enough to defend their “precious” women. EE is the place to go for white girls.

  • Ball, Crunk, & Grind LLC

    I feel that man

    Ill never forget this Lilly white redhead cunt who called security on my ass when I ran direct game on her albino clown ass.

    No señorita or sister has ever called one time on a player for giving her bitch ass a compliment in broad daylight. Silly ass ho.

  • Ruckus

    Only because the whites dilute so easily.

  • Ruckus

    I’m with you man, I’ve decided to only date black and latina girls. Thankfully, I live in socal :) I have a buddy who’s the same way as well.

    Recently I’ve done some reflection and I’ve realize the vast majority of the uber-bitches I’ve encountered while gaming were, on per capita, the white (SWPL) ones.

  • James Bond

    I just recently decided to not date any white women in America ever again. For years, I have had black, Asian and Hispanic women flirt with me but I never was interested in them, until now.
    Now I will only date women who are NOT white. I have had enough horrible experience with white women in America to last a lifetime.

  • JaLeroy Rontaytay Howard XVIII

    Using the word creepy is creepy

    And 49ers (4s acting like they 9s) is “creepy”

  • WomenProduceNoValue

    This is one of Roosh’s sadder posts, where he feels sorry about some of his own results and pretends that they apply to everyone, in all situations. Most of these statements do not follow logically, are based on faulty generalizations and have zero practical application, so readers will do well to ignore them entirely.

    “When a girl gives you resistance before the first date, or displays flakey behavior, you will not have sex with her.” Women are scared, weak losers. Why would anyone be surprised by timid behavior? It’s not uncommon for a girl to be scared (especially one from a more closed culture) and eventually get over those fears and date you. That’s pretty much par for the course in central and eastern Europe. The last girl I slept with didn’t answer any of my calls or my texts, then randomly messaged me back with interest and made all of the moves. By that time, I had completely forgotten she even existed, but my mental reaction was, “oh cool, hot girl messaging me randomly eager to fuck. OK.” This is not a random exception to the rule, but a commonplace situation nowadays in a world where women have zero accountability for anything. You could add a caveat to your statement, “IF A WOMAN CONCLUDES YOU ARE AUTISTIC OR HAVE ZERO VALUE IN ALL WAYS and gives you resistance or displays flakey behavior, you will not have sex with her.” That statement I can agree with, but to apply it to high quality men makes no sense at all. Women are scared, unambitious, fickle creatures. Wipe off the blue pill dust Roosh.

  • UnstableFemaleThinking

    “If she doesn’t reply to your first text within three hours” – This is a much too arbitrary claim and you need concrete facts about the woman’s situation to apply this effectively. Three of the last five girls I dated in central Europe didn’t have a facebook account. One of them that did, didn’t have a smartphone or even internet in her apartment (despite being 23 years old and in the top 1% in physical fitness), so when I messaged her at 7 PM, she saw the message at 8:45 AM while she was at work and replied at 9:20 AM. I could see Roosh freaking out here and running for the hills. You really have to calm down and try to look at these situations more objectively, unless you’re dating girls who exclusively are on their smartphone 24/7, have never had a job, and aren’t in a decent university. If you date normal girls in this part of the world, their reaction times will vary and there’s no reason to freak out about it like you’ve never dated a woman in your life. Once I had a girl not reply for a week because she went to the countryside where she had no internet and no phone service. Another girl went to her grandmother’s funeral and was not in the mood to meet that week. Maybe this is hard for Americans to understand, because some Europeans actually care about their family members in some way and are
    emotionally affected by their deaths. I have a feeling Roosh is merely
    exaggerating to try to prove a point.

    In any case, a high quality man isn’t phased by scared reactions coming from a scared person (also known as a woman). In almost all cases, I’ve ended up meeting the girl and having the potential to have sex with her, even if at some stage she didn’t reply to a series of my messages. Presumably this article would
    have been more well-received (and with more comments) if you had made my
    points rather than the ones you made yourself. Unfortunately you’re giving way too much credit to women, their intelligence and the stability of their beliefs. Women are pathetic, braindead losers. When are you finally going to get it?

  • UnstableFemaleThinking

    “If she doesn’t reply to your first text within three hours” – This is a much too arbitrary claim and you need concrete facts about the woman’s situation to apply this effectively. Three of the last five girls I dated in central Europe didn’t have a facebook account. One of them that did, didn’t have a smartphone or even internet in her apartment (despite being 23 years old and in the top 1% in physical fitness), so when I messaged her at 7 PM, she saw the message at 8:45 AM while she was at work and replied at 9:20 AM. I could see Roosh freaking out here and running for the hills. You really have to calm down and try to look at these situations more objectively, unless you’re dating girls who exclusively are on their smartphone 24/7, have never had a job, and aren’t in a decent university. If you date normal girls in this part of the world, their reaction times will vary and there’s no reason to freak out about it like you’ve never dated a woman in your life. Once I had a girl not reply for a week because she went to the countryside where she had no internet and no phone service. Another girl went to her grandmother’s funeral and was not in the mood to meet that week. Maybe this is hard for Americans to understand, because some Europeans actually care about their family members in some way and are
    emotionally affected by their deaths. I have a feeling Roosh is merely
    exaggerating to try to prove a point.

    In any case, a high quality man isn’t phased by scared reactions coming from a scared person (also known as a woman). In almost all cases, I’ve ended up meeting the girl and having the potential to have sex with her, even if at some stage she didn’t reply to a series of my messages. Presumably this article would
    have been more well-received (and with more comments) if you had made my
    points rather than the ones you made yourself. Unfortunately you’re giving way too much credit to women, their intelligence and the stability of their beliefs. Women are pathetic, braindead losers. When are you finally going to get it?

  • 2525

    Another thought that comes to mind, and this is more general about text communication with a chick at any given time of your involvement with her: when you receive a text from her it’s very ‘generic’ e.g.: “hey what’s new?” or “hey how are you?” or anything similar that there is a very good chance it’s a group text message from her contacts under the list entitled “Useful Idiots I Don’t Fuck But I Play For A Sucker”.

    I expect her to mention my name in her message, otherwise I will assume I’m just receiving a general broadcast.

  • 2525

    Quote: “ they were bad signs, but I followed through like a tool and confirmed that they were.”

    Consider this as aversion therapy. Now you have proof that the indicators are accurate and reliable.

    I have done similar; I have followed through on dates simply to prove myself that my suspicions were correct. These experiences demonstrate to me that my instincts are correct.

  • 2525

    Roosh is not exaggerating and I sure as fuck do not believe you that you had opportunities to fuck even if the females in question did not respond to your messages.

    The majority of men here who post are men who are in the field and whose experience are congruent with Roosh’s assertions.

  • 2525

    Roosh is not exaggerating and I sure as fuck do not believe you that you had opportunities to fuck even if the females in question did not respond to your messages.

    The majority of men here who post are men who are in the field and whose experience are congruent with Roosh’s assertions.

  • TrollAlert

    It was a classic case of Roosh making some dogmatic, random statements, then a typical troll like you comes out of nowhere attacking the one person who makes a reasonable comment. I love your hostility and utter lack of substance and evidence. You doubt that women sometimes don’t reply to texts or messages? Are you braindead or just so stuck on being a pathetic give-up-easily loser that you don’t realize exceptions exist? But your comment really highlights the stupidity of most of the men who read this site. Which men here are posting from central or eastern Europe? 5% of the men on here?

  • Welcome

    True. You caught an angry troll who’s upset about failing with girls. Welcome to the internet

  • FeministsSuck

    haha yeah you’re right. A lot of the knee-jerk trolls come out to play
    whenever one of their empty bullshit beliefs based on 0 evidence is
    criticized. Well yeah, if you wagered 2525 $500 and showed him
    screenshots, of course he would be the first to run for the hills. Just a
    typical mentally retarded loser on the internet who emotionally defends
    his empty beliefs because that’s all he’s got. Women are losers who change their mind constantly about almost every topic. Are the blue pill faggots ever going to wake up?

  • manmade

    I have said it a million times before and I’ll say it again: Roosh is the best. His ability to avoid bullshit and fluff and be practical is second to none. I always learn something at a social level from whatever he writes. The underlying message is always: don’t be a beta. Yet it’s done in a million ways, and just by talking from experience. All the rest of the ‘gurus’ are phony marketers who pale in comparison.

  • Jeebus

    This perfectly corroborates my experience. If she’s anything other than 100% on board, you just ship right away. Sadly, this is around 90% of the women who say YES to me.

  • Scotty

    I’m married (to a South American, of course) so I no longer date, but all of these are great nuggets, ESPECIALLY the last one. Make it zero-sum, as Roosh suggests, by altering the start time to LATER. It’s a ballsy move that accomplishes so much: You negate her option to leave open a second window for fun later in the night; you shut down her Beta-shit-test; and you one up her in chips, by in fact signaling that when she dates you, such changes may result in you re-directing her to something possibly LESS desirable to her. Game theory at it’s best. All of it.

  • scotty

    As noted in my other post, I don’t date, as I married a solid South American, but one thing I learned while dating in the early 2000s (after a divorce). NEVER EVER agree to meet a gal at a restaurant, as it is WAY too much commitment, and forces you to either pay for her food (to look cool and Alpha) or forces you to reveal that you prefer dutch.
    I almost always recommended, albeit demanded Starbucks or Bookstore (BN) for first meet-up, so as to not commit. One of my last times I met a gal at a food joint, she was bitchy and I realized she was setting me up to pay the bill…I politely positioned the conversation with the waiter in such a way it was clear I was paying mine, through good social skills and wording. I split and left her hanging.

  • scotty

    They also do the “friend drop” narrative sometimes in the first 10 minutes of the date (same thing as the time move up, keeping options open);, it means they aren’t that interested, are using their friend (a supposed meet-up later that night, or an expected phone call, etc) to bag out early and then stick you with the Sardis bill. In other words, they are low on time, but can manage to finish the meal they expect you to pay for.

  • scotty

    I wouldn’t have ruled that one out yet. Even for a good looking Alpha, a woman may not want to yet commit to you knowing where she lives, or may have a situation at home that is minor, yet embarrassing to her (like a deadbeat brother living there). I would have met at Starbucks and evaluated, esp if she was an 8-plus. Although, I would since some possible passive-aggressive patronization with the easily slid in comment that you’d get lost.
    Tell her you’d like to cook for her…since you figure she’ll burn whatever she cooks. Same thing.

  • Ice Princess

    lol i use the same rule. I delete a guys number if he doesn’t respond to a text quick enough. If i don’t get a response after i send a reply i also delete his number. I give no second chances. One advice i heard from a guy is that “if a guy is interested-he will get out of his way to be with you”

    I am a massive filter machine. I will only text first once if i like the person, otherwise never. I also never send repeated text messages. I have been called cold and calculated but it’s from learning from other peoples perspectives and applying it to myself.

    I love reading things from this persons perspective. I also like knowing your guys real thoughts are on us girls ;)

  • 2525

    Nice try FEMINIST. Now FOAD

  • MajorStyles

    “If she attempts to change the venue of the first date. There is absolutely no valid reason for the girl to veto your first date suggestion and try to call the shots by suggesting her own venue. You stain yourself as a compliant beta if you agree to her changes. Either it’s your venue or it’s no date.”
    Spot on. Either you call the shots or you perish.

  • FedUP

    White women across America thank you.

  • Dom Suda

    Awesome article. This reminds me of The Syst

  • Cadillac June

    Ice a Princess u need to understand that you can’t take the role ofthe man. You will be lonely forever with that attitude or end up with some loser BETA you can boss around. Guys can act like that but women can’t. Double standard? Maybe but it’s true none the less

  • Wendy Jean-Louis

    Maybe you just end up with the wrong white women? I have met really nice white women who are quite humble and don’t have that entitlement issue. But on the other hand I have met the entitled ones as well. I guess it’s how they were raised

  • http://www.dawsonstone.com Dawson Stone

    I think the key here is to overbook. If you are handling your rotation management well you have at least 3 – 5 women available. If I am meeting a new woman I 100% of the time double book an sometimes even triple book. If I double book with a reliable FB then I know I am good and can remain totally outcome independent.

    If my date is set for 7pm, I would double book my FB at 8:30pm. The problem here is that guys give a shit about a particular woman. You simply cannot allow that to happen. Until you close a woman ALL WOMEN ARE EQUAL.

    Just recently I had a date with a woman I have seen a couple of times. She is 19 and a solid 9…one of my top 10 ever plus she’s amazing in bed. But she’s a flake. I ALWAYS double book when she is on the calendar. We were supposed to meet up around 9pm at my place. I reconfirmed with her in the morning (she said we were still on) and again at 3pm (“just wanted to make sure 9pm was still looking good for you.”) But I still kept my double booking. She flaked (as she often does) but because I had another woman coming over it was no big deal. I simply created Cancellation Credit (http://dawsonstone.com/dawsons-dictionary/) and asked her how she was going to make it up to me (playfully).

    Now eventually if she continues to be flaky I may cut her from the rotation but so long as I do it without being emotionally punishing she will likely boomerang later…and on my terms.

    Instead of looking for warning signs, assume many young women will flake and plan accordingly with others from your rotation until she has proven reliable.

    Dawson

  • Leopard

    6, 6, 6 ? I see only 5 warning signs in this article. :D

    But the article is 100% true. I would be more indulgent with the first one. I would say 6 hours is ok. Yet 1 of my lay, the girl didn’t even answered my first text but she called me (!) 2-3 days later.

  • Hell_Biker

    Try finding ones that were raised without access to cable TV

  • U S. Open Sores

    Thats a valid point with an exception – if the message you receive she does not mention your name but mentions something specific that only you and her would know from a previous meeting or something for example if you guys were at the zoo together and she mentioned something from that experience. In other words that the message she sent to you was p’personal’ enough where it would not make any sense to anybody else if it were a ‘broadcasted’ message to a bunch of other guys.

  • U S. Open Sores

    “In any case, a high quality man isn’t phased by scared reactions coming from a scared person”

    I don’t know you, but respectfully I’m kinda doubting that have enough experience with women. Most women both in the usa and europe (both west and EE) do have smartphones and are glued to them 24/7 regardless if they are students or working professionals. 3 hours is sufficient time for any female to at least respond with a quick short message to indicate she got your message.

  • Pixie Pie

    Poor dear. Someday, you will learn. The role “ofthe man” is beyond your comprehension.

  • ga626

    Call her. If she can’t talk to you for 20 mins on the phone, she is most likely not going to go on a date and spend two hours with you over a drink or dinner. Texting is for kids in high school. Girls that respond to your voice mail with a text are a fucking waste of time. I hate that. If you are in scarcity mode you might entertain texting. If you have other options don’t entertain the stupid texting.