A big part of game that isn’t often discussed is picking the right targets. Any man can approach 20 girls a night, but such indiscriminate carpet bombing is likely to tire the man out before he finds a girl who wants to openly receive his game. I believe as much effort should go into picking the right target as knowing how to approach them, because better prospects mean you need a less tight game to get sex. Do you want to cold call people who would never be interested in your product or do you want to call those who filled out a web page requesting more information? Hopefully the latter.
There are seven things I look for on deciding which girl to approach when I have many options in front of me:
1. Is she making slow or fast movements? You want a girl to be planted and mostly still. Girls who are walking back and forth or acting hyper do not have the attention span to meaningfully get to know someone new.
2. Is she holding hands with her friend? If at any point I catch a girl holding hands with her friend as she wanders through the bar, I will not approach her, even later when she breaks the embrace. A girl holding hands shows that she’s in one-for-all-and-all-for-one mode, meaning she will not allow herself to be isolated. Approaching her while she’s holding hands is close to a guaranteed blow-out.
3. Does she loosen her stone face when you make incidental eye contact with her? If you make eye contact with a girl and she maintains a rigid expression without curling up her lips of lifting her cheeks, she will not be receptive if you approach. A girl who is receptive will soften her facial expression, not harden it. Even though that Polish girl stared at me for five seconds, her face remained hard without any visible changes, which is why I wasn’t surprised when she proceeded to be rude upon my approach. Unfortunately, many girls like to pretend they are interested just to harshly reject any guy who approaches them.
4. Does she seem more committed to drinking than dancing? While it’s okay for a girl to hop on the dance floor for a few songs, if she’s there for what seems like hours, that means she’s sober, and sober girls in bars or clubs are the least open to meeting someone new. Another sign she’s not open is if she orders drinks like water or soda early in the night. It’s possible to have a one-night stand with a sober girl, but a few drinks in her makes it easier, as you already know. Talking to girls who are overly focused on dancing means you’ll walk away from the interaction with no more than a number that’ll likely go nowhere. I look for girls who are drinking and making only short forays onto the dance floor, not camping out there all night long.
5. Does it appear that she doesn’t care for being with her friends? If that’s the case she will often break eye contact with them to look at the crowd. Single women who are interested in meeting men look around as much as you do. If it appears that she’s so enthralled in her social circle bubble that the dozens of people surrounding her are invisible, there is no point to approach.
6. Is she in a group of more than three people? I find that three is the magic number. If she’s in a group with only one or two other girls, your approach not only has a high chance of success but a low probability of getting cockblocked. In larger groups, the dynamic changes to where she tries to align herself with the group’s previously agreed-upon personality. She’s no longer herself, but a slimy leg of a big anti-social octopus. She will be colder (even though she may be single) and let her friends levy an immediate cockblock strike upon your person.
7. Is she getting chummy with the bartenders or bouncers? If she’s a regular who gives cheek kisses to all the staff, that means she thinks she has status in that particular venue, and we all know what having perceived status will due to her attitude. A girl who is a popular regular will think she’s a mini-celebrity and act accordingly when you approach her. (If a girl makes conversation with the bar manager or owner then that means she considers you, a mere bar patron, to be wholly unworthy of sex.) On the other hand, if she’s a regular you see often who doesn’t care about knowing the staff, she will be more receptive.
The ideal girl to approach in a bar will be with one other girl she’s not holding hands with. She’s actively drinking alcohol and not too crazy about dancing. The conversation with her friend has long pauses that she uses as an opportunity to look around, eventually making eye contact with you. She slightly curls up the ends of her lips when that happens. She doesn’t seem to know anyone else in the bar. If you approach this girl with even weak game, she’ll still give you a couple minutes of conversation.
Even though a large club on Saturday night may have 100 woman, less than 5% exhibit all signs on the above list, but you can maybe say the same for over 50% of the girls in the small neighborhood bar. A lot of guys think the absolute number of females in a venue correlates to their chance of getting laid, but it can be quite the opposite where larger venues with the most women are actually the hardest to succeed in.
I used to force myself to do 10 approach a nights, but now I rarely get to that number before something happens because I know how to “cold call” those girls who already want to meet men. I gamed hard for a long time, but now I can game smart. I just look for the signs.