Heuristics are empirically based rules that have lasted the test of time, often observed in cultures that have retained traditions. Curious scientists back-analyze them to identify their true purpose. They do not originate in academia and have not been scientifically proven, yet nonetheless do a better job at achieving a desired human end.
For example, to prevent alcoholism, scientists have brought BAC charts and gender differences to suggest how many drinks a day are acceptable. Wine is better, liquor is worse, and so on. Or they serve up a subjective questionnaire and if you answer “yes” to an arbitrary number, you may be an alcoholic. Instead of that scientific approach, it’s easier to just follow a simple British heuristic derived from doctors who personally treat alcoholics: don’t drink three days a week. That’s it. It’s easier to follow and does a better job at predicting alcoholism than methods created by scientists in a laboratory setting.
The problem with game is that there is a surplus of information which often crowds out the most important concepts which contribute the most to success. Can’t it all be simplified in a couple rules? I believe it can, but only for the individual. There is too much variance in game depending on who you are and what type of girl you go for that only through personal experience and a large sample size can you develop your own heuristics.
That said, here is my heuristic model:
1. Only approach a girl that you are prepared to take out on a date. This is a check of my desire. If I wouldn’t want to block out 4 hours for her, based on her appearance alone, I will give up at the slightest resistance she throws my way, leading to wasted time and no sex.
2. Eject on the approach if she doesn’t completely face you. She must be open to an interaction. If she can’t even face me, a very token amount of effort, sleeping with her will be burdensome.
3. On the first date, ramp up touching to hit a peak at the two-hour mark. The content of my chatter matters less than touching, as I’ve learned from cases where there has been a steep language barrier. By two hours, I should be in position to at least attempt a kiss. It doesn’t matter if I do kiss at that point or not, but that my prior touching should have made it a natural and logical occurrence.
4. Always invite her to your apartment (or weasel your way into hers), and do not accept no for an answer. The persistence must be strong here, for her first answer will probably be no. The assumption must be made that you will never see the girl again, so you must at least try to sleep with her the same night.
5. Try to have sex with her once privacy is achieved. Again, the attempt must be made.
For one-night stands, I simply replace rule three with “You are not allowed to get her number.”
It doesn’t matter what country I’m in, what language I’m speaking, or whether I met the girl at the cafe or club—if I follow all my rules, the chance of a bang is quite high. Will these rules work for you? If you’re similar to me, perhaps, but I know that for me it almost doesn’t matter what else I do as long as I follow these rules. I can talk about religion and politics, topics that should generally be avoided, and it would make little difference. I can forget to tell the best stories of my life, and still it wouldn’t matter. For the approach, the girl must be conversationally open. For dates, I must touch and lead to my room. In the space between I can be myself.
While you do have to be careful about developing rules based on limited experience, guys who have a large amount of personal sex data would do themselves a favor by breaking down their prior successes into the mere essentials, then forgetting about everything else.
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