A Universal Problem With American Girls

This is a problem that the American girl has in far greater proportion to other cultures….

She doesn’t listen.

She is incapable of keeping her mouth shut. She can’t sit down and digest an involved oral story with multiple threads because the hampster in her head is spinning about a related personal experience that she just must share, even though it brings no absolutely no value into the world. You can see it on her face, her lips pursed ready to speak before you’re halfway finished, having since stopped listening because she’s in a tizzy of excitement over the lame shit that’s about to rape your ears.

You’re wrong if you think this is a problem with all girls. Colombian girls for example are on the other end of the extreme and frequently have little to talk about. Since they have less “interesting” life experiences, they don’t interject every thirty seconds with nonsense. I love it when I’m telling a story to a Colombian girl and she sits there enthralled with eyes wide open, as if I’m a master storyteller worthy of a Pulitzer. And this is while I’m speaking in mediocre Spanish.

American girls respond to stories not with interest or follow-up questions but with their own stories that technically aren’t stories at all but merely incomplete anecdotes. You can tell her you went to Africa to develop a system of building cost-effective mudbrick huts for the poor and she’ll respond with “Cool, yeah I traveled last year to Thailand and it was so awesome. I love travel!” What the fuck is that?

She lives as if everything exists as a mechanism to talk about herself. It’s a frustrating phenomenon that only comes in handy when you’re spending time with the American girl you want to hate fuck and not have to bother attempting a deep conversation (i.e. 95% of the time).

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