Right now we’re living in an age of overconfident women who believe the best way to find their Prince Charming is to play the field for a decade or three until deciding that they’re on the physical appearance downswing. Since it’s unlikely you’ll be chosen as their end game provider man (and if you do you’re probably doing something wrong), that means you’ll have to put up with a lot of anti-social behavior and flaking in order to get casual sex. The sad fact is that no matter how tight your game is, how many dozens of girls you’ve fucked, or how hard your two-week Brazilian girlfriend used to suck your cock, Western women who are lower quality than what you’ve had before will try to treat you like crap.
The quickest path to unhappiness with dating is to hope that a girl will please you, treat you with respect, or even show up on dates. While I do think it’s rude for a girl to treat you poorly when you haven’t done the same to her, she is free to act in any way she wishes. She has that choice because it’s not against the law for her to send a last-minute cancellation text or to not pay attention when you’re telling a story that means a lot to you. After putting out our best game, her behavior is not something we can control.
But you can control how you deal with women. You control who you ask out on dates. You control who you reward with attention. You control whether to contact her again after sex. You also control how to plan dates so that things will still work out in your favor even if she disappoints you. This means you should always have a backup plan so that when a girl cancels, you’ll have an alternative that is as superior as going out with her.
It never happens that I’m sitting at home, upset that a girl cancelled on me. I’m never trying to analyze why she changed her mind at the last-minute. I’m never thinking of what witty or cocky text to send to get things back on track. It’s impossible for a girl to upset me because I was never counting on her in the first place. Here are three things I do when it comes to dating:
1. I plan dates on nights where I’ve decided that I’m going out no matter what, whether she comes through or not. In Poland I would do a first date on a Wednesday night, the same night I know of a club that has ladies night. It’s no big deal if she flakes because I will still have a good time flirting with women.
I don’t schedule a date on days where there is nothing going on. If she flakes on my ass, that means I’m in danger of getting stuck at home, sifting through my porn collection. The worst thing you can do is wait for her send a confirmation text to know if you should hop in the shower and start getting ready. Don’t give her that power.
2. I tell her to meet me in a location that is close to another good spot I can bounce to. Many times a girl will take you for granted and put no effort in helping with the date conversation. Or she’ll nurse her beer until it tastes like camel urine, saying she wants to “take it easy tonight.” If after one drink she has not performed to a standard that you would’ve expected based on your original meeting, wish her a good night and ditch her. You’ll already know where to go.
3. I take a book. If she’s acting stupid then I take out my book and start reading. She can drink alone or pretend like she has to catch up on her text messaging. The absolute worst that can happen to me on a date night is that I have a couple beers and read a good book.
It should get to the point where your plan B is decent enough that you actually don’t mind when a girl flakes on you. It has happened to me where I’ve actually hoped a girl would flake so that I can do the backup. The strange thing is that the better backup plan you have, the less likely you’ll get flaked on. It’s almost like girls can feel that your night is not hinging on whether she makes an appearance or not.
Twice in the past couple of months a girl flaked on a date, I executed the backup plan, and had a one-night stand with another girl. Don’t be surprised if a girl flaking on you sets the wheels in motion for you to meet a girl that’s even better. These days when a girl flakes, she’s often doing me a favor.