A lot of things that used to get me upset or angry in the past rarely does now, whether it’s bad traffic, getting sick, facing unexpected expenses, scabies, or the like. Life experience has taught me that any unpleasantness will pass shortly with only a small chance of permanent harm.
But not with everything. In fact my temper has gotten much worse in one area: with women I’ve had sex with. I blow my top and lose my cool at the smallest slight, calling them out without hesitation and making them cry with no remorse. It’s getting to the point where I leave almost every girl I date in a heap of tears. What’s going on?
For example, in Brazil I was dating a girl who I made tentative plans with to hang out on a weekend night. I texted her at around 5pm to set a time, but I didn’t get a response until three hours later. She said she was sleeping and asked what time we were going out. I wrote back, “I made other plans, I’m not going to wait for you all night.” She called me immediately after, and asked what was wrong.
“Nothing is wrong but you’re playing games, and I don’t have time for that. I made plans with [Danish roommate].” I accused her of lying, that she wasn’t really sleeping. She started crying and said how she put aside other plans to see me. She kept repeating, “Why are you doing this to me?” At that point I thought maybe she really was sleeping, backed down, and told her I’d contact her later.
At 1am, after a few drinks with the Dane, I sent her a text and we met up at a bar for a couple drinks. Then we went back to her place and had mind-blowing sex.
I thought of other cases like that and realized why my temper was getting worse with women: they were rewarding me for it. Subconsciously, my brain refused to tone down the anger because it was getting them more attached to me while improving my sex life. A girl will never say that she wants a man with the temper of a black bear because that would force them to admit they’re wired to be illogical and irrational. Instead they lie to themselves until guys like me figure out their buttons and reap the benefits by being that bear.
I almost never show anger with girls I haven’t had sex with yet. Before sex anger is a huge turn-off, but after sex it’s an aphrodisiac. For instance, if a girl you just met cancels a first date with you, and you bitch her out, she’ll laugh and then delete your number from her phone. But if you’ve been smashing it for a couple months, and then you call her out on a flake, her instinct will be to make a big deal out of it first, fulfilling her need for drama, and then try to smooth things out afterward.
A Buddhist-like approach to dealing with women doesn’t pay off for shorter-term relationships because things won’t get on your terms. If you want your needs to be met, you must be the boss and speak your mind immediately and with impunity. If you think about how she wronged you hours after the fact, then you missed a chance to show that you’re a man. While no woman will say they want a guy who makes them cry and feel like shit during heated moments, it is exactly what all of them want. Don’t listen to what women say, just take a look at who they fuck (me).
It has never happened that I showed my angry side to a girl and she walked. Not once. And we’re talking about girls from different countries and socioeconomic backgrounds, all the way up to the super upper reaches that I probably won’t ever get to experience. It’s hardwired into their brain to want a man who shows anger in measured doses at slot-machine jackpot frequency. While I definitely don’t recommend you use anger as a “move,” I advise you not to hold back. If you’re being disrespected or slighted then you need to let her know as soon as it happens. Your dick will thank you later.