Animals Are Tasty

I have no problem eating animals. They taste good and the protein in their flesh helps sustain my gym workout routine and muscular development. I go to the store, buy meat that looks nothing like the animal it came from (definitely no hair or feathers or soft skin or anything gross like that) and then I go home and cook them up in a hearty meal that may or may not give me digestive issues one hour later. This is a meat-eating world and those who don’t jump on board are pansy-ass liberals who think they are smarter than everyone else.

But what would happen if meat-eaters had to kill the meat they wanted to eat? How about if you had to kill the cow, cut up its body, and filet its flesh. I don’t even know how they kill cows — machete, maybe? If you want leather shoes or handbags, you have to condition it yourself. I think you have to leave it out in the sun for a certain period of time. If you wanted to eat chicken breast for dinner you had to take the chicken, hold it on a board and slice off its head with a large knife, being careful not to let all that blood splash on you. Then you get rid of all the feathers, open it up, and gut its internal organs with some type of scooping instrument. Of course you would preheat the oven before the slaughter to save time.

I could not make myself kill any animal for food when I know I could survive without it. Big agri-business does me a service through their immigrant-powered factories in the Midwest: they allow me to eat meat by placing a big enough distance between what happens to the animal and what I see on grocery shelves. (As I write this I’m eating a huge cow cheeseburger with cheese, mushrooms, and grilled onions. Mustard and ketchup is falling all over the keyboard which I have no idea how I’m going to clean up. My fingers are covered in greasy goodness and I’m using the sleeve of my shirt to wipe my mouth because I don’t plan on going out later.)

In the old days of rural societies, people had no problem killing their food because that’s how they were raised. But in modern, capitalist society, all of us are groomed to be end-users who consume without question. So what if this chicken meat come from a couple thousand miles away. It’s still chicken right? So what if this DVD player was made in a dangerous Chinese factory by 16-year-old girls. It’s on sale right? If we had to kill our meat, at least half of the country would turn vegetarian overnight.

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