Are Icelandic Girls Hot?

The first time I heard the phrase “Icelandic girls,” I thought of hotness. How can a race that has procreated on a lonely island for a thousand years with little outside influence have nothing but the most ravishing blonde beauties? While there are plenty of those beauties to be found, I want to first describe the reality so you have the right expectations.

Your average Icelandic girl will have pale skin, light brown hair, a small chipmunk face with nose pointed upward, and a body that is average to slightly chubby with slightly large breasts and an average to small ass. When it comes to hair color, I estimate that 25% of the women are platinum blondes, 25% have dark brown hair, and the rest are in between. Regardless of hair color, her skin stays pale thanks to limited sunlight for half the year. If she’s a shade darker than everyone else, there’s a good chance she’s from Denmark, where most Icelanders can claim ancestry.

If you like Latina women with dark hair, olive skin, and big asses (I’m thinking of Brazil right now), Iceland won’t have what you’re looking for. I will say, though, that fucking a pale, hairless girl gives a great “beauty and the beast” contrast to my darker skin color and hairy body. I felt like a wolf from the woods coming into the city to rape a fair-skinned woman, then escaping back into the darkness before the townspeople could find out what happened.

One way that I’ve found pale women can beautify themselves is to apply eye makeup as thickly as possible to give their eyes a dark contrast against their light skin color. Icelandic girls don’t do this. Instead they insist on bright red lipstick that makes them look clownish. I never thought I’d complain about girls not putting on makeup correctly, but I strongly feel that Icelandic women aren’t maximizing their appearance.

When it comes to weight, they are generally a little thick with flabby arms (there’s no gym or exercise culture in Iceland), but nothing on the scale of American obesity. Nonetheless, it was shocking to see fatties walking around with the price of food being what it was. This suggests that higher-priced food won’t be a cure for America’s obesity epidemic and that more drastic action must be taken.

One positive point is their dedication to looking sexy, even in the hipster bars. Girls wore heels (usually boots), skirts, black stockings with interesting patterns on them, and generally tight clothing that revealed their figures. Even a more butch Icelandic girl with the sides of her head shaved off put effort into her appearance. While I did question some of their fashion choices, especially when it came to wearing jean shorts over black leggings, the girls generally highlighted their figure regardless of how cold it was outside, especially on the weekends.

Overall I’d say that Icelandic girls are slightly sexier than American girls, but since they’re not as fat, this causes a considerable increase to their rating. The best analogy I can give for how the average Icelandic girl looks like is Jodie Foster in The Accused, the movie where she gets gang raped on a pinball machine. I find her appearance in that movie to be rather reasonable, and can therefore recommend Iceland as a place where you’ll be pleased with the level of talent.

The above article was adapted from Bang Iceland, my 80-page book that teaches you how to sleep with Icelandic women during a visit to the country. It contains tourist tips, game advice, and sex stories that give you all the information you need to pillage creamy white Icelandic women, with extra details not released on the blog. It's available in paperback, Kindle, and ebook. Read sample pages or learn more about the book.

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  • Wombat

    The obesity epidemic is being caused by cheap, high calorie food with very little nutrient value. People instinctively consume bucket
    Loads, their bodies telling the to keep going until they find a vitamin or two.

  • Anonymous

    What is it with you and the “rape” – I know your not a rapist but its like a common example and is kind of sick dude

  • Yams

    I laughed when I read the Jodie Foster reference. The pinball pic was a nice touch as well.

  • Alabasas

    Is Iceland really worth the trip? It is an expensive trip, afterall.

    I’ve seen plenty of pics of Icelandic girls and I am not overly impressed by their beauty. Saying that they are not as fat & slightly sexier than American girls is a low bar to clear.

    As for being easy to bang when drunk, well…the average American slut is also easy to bang when drunk, so that is not a huge reason to go, at least if you live in the USA.

  • http://www.hokieblogger.com Gmac

    “I felt like a wolf from the woods coming into the city to rape a fair-skinned woman, then escaping back into the darkness before the townspeople could find out what happened.”

    Hahaha

    Iceland is going on my long-term destination list… I won’t be able to afford a trip anytime soon. My kind of two week vacation, I’ll be taking the girls without the red lip stick though.

  • Anon

    “I will say, though, that fucking a pale, hairless girl gives a great “beauty and the beast” contrast to my darker skin color and hairy body. I felt like a wolf from the woods coming into the city to rape a fair-skinned woman, then escaping back into the darkness before the townspeople could find out what happened.”

    LOL!

    “What is it with you and the “rape” – I know your not a rapist but its like a common example and is kind of sick dude”

    @2,

    Surveys say 95% of college dudes admit they would rape if they could get away with it. Rape fantasy is a strong, common thread between the sexes. It’s a primal thing that developed before language, cooperation, etc. Note that there’s no such thing as “rape” in the animal world. Hominid man smelled an ovulating woman, grabbed her, fucked her & impregnated her, giving rise to our ancestors, thus favoring males with a tendency to take women by force and women who got wet for men who take them by force.

    Oh yeah, grow some balls & you’ll understand.

  • Anonymous

    @6,

    Stop rationalizing rape – it’s uncool. The rapists of the world are not men with options or power; they are degenerates. We do not reward bad behaviour by rationalizing it.

  • Rape Rape Rape Rape

    I think he’s just feeding bait to the Icelandic fembots he’ll get after his latest reviews over there. Sort of like he enjoys taunting the Jezzebel trolls who haven’t shaved their vaginas in decades. I agree with Yams that the Jodie Foster reference and pic were a nice touch.

  • B.Larsen

    Roosh’s mention of rape = marketing ploy.

  • Anonymous

    “Surveys say 95% of college dudes admit they would rape if they could get away with it. “

    You just made that up. No such surveys exist.

  • Timothy

    That scene in “The Accused” was one of the most difficult to watch in mainstream movie history. That’s why I kept rewinding it and replaying it several times…HA HA! Jodie Foster sure earned that Oscar. She said between takes she had to comfort the guys in the scene and reassure them that she was okay, and to go for it. NICE.

    It shouldn’t shock anyone that there’s little variety in Icelandic women. No different genes get introduced into the isolated pool. You don’t go there because they’re particularly hot. You go there because it’s a difficult flag to get in terms of location.

  • Pingback: This is just fantastic writing « Rivelino in Spain

  • http://rivelinoinspain.wordpress.com/ Rivelino

    sharp writing, roosh. you are getting better.

  • Lordy

    Most women deep down aren’t even traumatized by real rape, they openly brag about it to their friends as if to say, “see, men find me hot enough to rape me” and to get attention. there are so many weasal definitions added to rape everyday like hetero sex rape, pregnancy rape, drunk sex rape, boyfriend sex rape and the 58583 other forms of fake rape used to destroy men’s lives and take away their freedoms and make them bear the entire burden of consensual sex when the woman has regrets. It’s time to demand a return to strict definition of rape, that of stranger rape, it’s time to fight for your civil rights, manginas. Those of you overly concerned about women’s precious little feelings need to get your head out of your asses.

  • Anon

    @10,

    Shut the fuck up bitch:

    http://www.holysmoke.org/fem/fem0286.htm

    Journal of Research in Personality_ 14 pg
    121-137 1980. A study of UCLA undergraduates of both sexes response
    to rape. A rape story was read by the subjects, who then answered
    questions. In the story a male undergrad asks a female undergrad if
    she wants a ride to her dorm. She says no, he thinks she is being,
    “an arrogant bitch” he then forces her into the car and rapes her.

    36% of the men self-reported sexual arousal while reading the
    story. 37% identified with the rapist. 26% said the rapist was
    justified (presumably because of the perceived insult). 38% said the
    victim enjoyed being raped, while 47% of the women said the woman
    enjoyed being raped (I am shocked by this).
    36% of the men thought *all women* would
    enjoy victimization, while 32% of the women thought *all women* would
    enjoy victimization.

    The worst part is 49% of the men said that the believe that other
    men would rape if they could get away with it. Even more horrendous
    on a scale of 1-5, 1 being most likely, when asked if *THEY*
    personally would rape if the could get away with it 51% fell between
    1 and 2, and 21% fell on 3.

  • Anon

    @7,

    “Stop rationalizing rape – it’s uncool. The rapists of the world are not men with options or power; they are degenerates. We do not reward bad behaviour by rationalizing it.”

    All I know is that your female ancestors rewarded rape, and the end result is… YOU.

  • Lordy

    Women who get raped have it easy compared to men. If you’re a man and you make an enemy in Mexico, they slice off your head with a chainsaw while you’re fully conscious. Or they may hang you naked and upside down, then slice off your penis and cut through your intestines while you’re fully conscious. Now compare that to women who live in Africa, or Mexico or Afghanistan or any other “oppressed women” country, and usually even the most violent men will rape her but they won’t kill her. I’d rather be raped 50,000 times over having a chainsaw blade pushed into my neck and have my eyeballs fly out of my head like a group of salmon swimming upstream. Women have it easy in this world, it’s time to grow a pair of balls and stop feeling sorry for them.

  • Lordy

    I realize Africa is a continent, and not a country.

  • Timothy

    @15 Lordy…point taken, but some of those victims of rape in Afghanistan may end up getting honor killed by a male in their own family for “dishonoring” them. Find a different example…HA HA!

  • Anonymous

    @14,

    You know you’ve lost a debate when you confuse mere speculation for fact. All you know is that my female ancestors rewarded rape? I doubt you know even that much – you’re a clown. If you ever come across a victim of real rape, you would think twice before rationalizing the rapist’s behaviour. Try not to write about matters you know nothing of. Stick to legos or something more suited for your age.

  • Anon

    @18,

    What % of women are raped? What % of raped women get pregnant?

    So you believe ALL your female monkey ancestors over 100,000 years or whatever were all wined & dined and signed a consent form before their uteri were hammered with semen? Even in modern times, you think your female ancestors were spared by the hordes of rampaging Moors, Mongols, Vikings, Romans, Persians, etc.?

    p.s. Sorry you’re so butt hurt, but just because I never called after fucking you doesn’t mean you’re a “real victim of rape”.

  • Anonymous

    @13: can you calculate? 95 percent is the same as 49? Since when?

  • DISTANT

    “I will say, though, that fucking a pale, hairless girl gives a great “beauty and the beast” contrast to my darker skin color and hairy body. I felt like a wolf from the woods coming into the city to rape a fair-skinned woman, then escaping back into the darkness before the townspeople could find out what happened.”

    Hahahaha. Too funny. I cant stop laughing.

  • Timothy

    “So you believe ALL your female monkey ancestors over 100,000 years or whatever were all wined & dined and signed a consent form before their uteri were hammered with semen? Even in modern times, you think your female ancestors were spared by the hordes of rampaging Moors, Mongols, Vikings, Romans, Persians, etc.?” 19 Anon

    This reminds me so much of the late, great Dennis Hopper’s history lesson to Christopher Walken regarding the Moors runnin’ through Italian women and changing the bloodlines forever. I’m thinking about putting together a crew of dudes to do the same in Iceland, injecting some flavor into those Icelandic bloodlines…

  • Ragga

    Which rock did you just crawl from under? You are the most ridiculous ´writer´ever LOL!!!Keep up your self loathing.

  • Dago

    “I felt like a wolf from the woods coming into the city to rape a fair-skinned woman, then escaping back into the darkness before the townspeople could find out what happened.”

    LMAO!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
    I nearly died laughing when I read that. Holy shit ahahahah.

  • American Blind Date
  • Ari

    Metal and rock music has forever contained many references to rape and murder and killing.Jim Morrison used to yell “kill…kill..” during performances..doesn’t mean people are stupid enough to start taking these things seriously. Grow up, you idiots.

  • Bang Iceland

    currently ranks

    #2 on Amazon Kindle Best Sellers in Iceland Travel Guides, (#1 lonely planet Iceland), #58 Travel guides Europe, even doing better than Lonely Planet France

    good perspectives Roosh!

  • Rudebwoy

    Having just returned from Iceland, I would slightly disagree that they are only better than American girls.
    They are alot better than American girls, I actually witnessed quite a few top end girls.
    Don’t get me wrong there are quite a few “thick” girls as well.

  • hilarious review
  • InterestedParty

    I do wonder if there’s *enough* Icelandic girls to keep one entertained. It’s such a small place that one might be better of going elsewhere.

  • TheMan

    Also, Roosh. When is the Denmark guide coming out? I really want to read your perspective on that place.

  • TheMan

    BTW, my overall feeling (based on your observations) is that while Icelandic girls are OK, they aren’t anything that special.

    Could you see yourself making a return trip to Iceland?

  • Anonymous

    31. Haha. Tushay!

  • crotch

    “the sum of my worth is this hole in my crotch”

    http://www.icelandreview.com/icelandreview/daily_news/?cat_id=29314&ew_0_a_id=384173

    do all women have a complex there, roosh? ;)

    [Roosh: It's much worse in Denmark]

  • Anonymous

    Does game have any value in dealing with females outside of sexual situations, for example an unpleasant female co-worker; a difficult female sibling or cousin; etc.? i.e. the goal is not to seduce the girl but to get her to act more respectfully.

  • Anonymous

    “Does game have any value in dealing with females outside of sexual situations, for example an unpleasant female co-worker; a difficult female sibling or cousin; etc.? i.e. the goal is not to seduce the girl but to get her to act more respectfully.”

    No question. Not every man here actively goes out to bars and clubs and approaches countless women trying to get them into bed that night. There are principles of game that serve you in any and all interactions with women.

  • Anonymous

    It is quiet obvious that you dont really study the facts before you write your articles, I wonder what type of education you got.
    One thing for exemple is about the gym culture in Iceland, the gyms there are full so there is a gym culture if you dont know the definiton of culture look it up.
    The other thing is you are really racism and sexist and the way you look you cant really afford it. And the way you write and dont cheach historical facts like saying the Icelandic come from danish ancesters is just plain stupitidy so talent is not your thing either. But it doesnt need much to make entertainment for simple minds and that does explain your popularity.
    People like you are the reason for racism and prejudice in the world.
    And yes I am Icelandic, I go to the gym, I dont drink, I have only sleept with my husband so I am the living example that you are wrong about Icelandic women. You really should had gone outside of the capital and our from the clubs to make a book about the Icelandic women like any real writer would have done.

  • Anonymous

    I think that some of what you said is true, some Icelandic girls are as we call them sluts. But it’s kind-off wrong to say that ALL Icelandic girls that go down town just wants a fuck. It’s not logical for one person to go to Iceland for couple of nights and think: this is how ALL of the Icelandic girls are. =S The country is big, even if we are few.
    Reykjavik is a big party place, but that’s not all of Iceland, there is so much more.
    And about the food, the unhealthy food is cheaper in Iceland than healthy food like probably all over the world. And many families just can’t afford buying in healthy groceries. You are probably just trying to be funny with this book, but you don’t know much about the Icelandic women.
    And I think you should come back to Iceland and go outside of the capital.

    [Roosh: "But it’s kind-off wrong to say that ALL Icelandic girls that go down town just wants a fuck." I never said that.]

  • Anonymous

    When you are talking about Iceland, you always say “Icelandic girls” which people say when they are talking about a whole group as in all. And you said “Thanks to a wonderful synergy between feminism and an Icelandic girl’s desire to self-medicate with alcohol, you’ll find that night bangs happen incredibly quickly, often within an hour.” Which would mean that Icelandic girls are easy and they wouldn’t be ease if they weren’t looking for a fuck, cause almost every Icelandic girl knows that tourists don’t stay long enough to have a relationship with them, and those who do sleep with the tourist are mostly some sluts =/.
    But I’m not angry or anything like you think all of us Icelandic girls are, I just think it’s wrong to generalize about every Icelandic girl. ^^

  • IceHunkl

    Now we know how you look and what your name is, you ugly hairy monkey Roosh – and if ever we catch you up here in Iceland again, I swear:

    You will be castrated, you little man.

  • Einar

    Roosh, just a small info correction. Icelandic descent is predominantly Norwegian with a touch of Irish. There’s very little Danish blood to be found here.
    It’s a common mistake to make though, since Iceland used to be part of the Danish kingdom.