Are Your Standards Too High?

It’s natural for men to chase the most beautiful women in the hopes of landing them, but this can be a flawed strategy when it comes to maintaining a regular sex life that is not overly laborious and frustrating. A balanced game program should seek the middle between mediocre women and the most beautiful women until you can determine a natural ceiling that doesn’t cause you to burn out from the game.

In the gym, lifting more than you can handle will result in bad form and then injury. If you try to lift a weight that your musculature simply can’t handle, you start cheating by using momentum or contorting your body into odd shapes to squeeze out the rep. You can easily see this in max deadlift attempts.

Being unable to complete a rep with proper form is a sign that you must reduce the weight (you will never hear a bodybuilding instructor tell you to increase the weight with bad form). In the short term, bad form may not cause any adverse affects, but it will eventually catch up to you as you use your body in ways that are not mechanically sound.

The only time I suffered injuries in the gym is when reducing the rep range for my sets from ten to five. This increased the weight load and, when combined with less than perfect form, led to injury while squatting and deadlifting. I was not able to do a program of 5 reps over the long run without getting injured, simply because the weights were too heavy for bad form or my individual biomechanics not to hurt me. I had to increase the rep range and lower the weight.

If you are having consistent difficulties with women, it’s because the weight is too heavy. You are pursuing women whose value is above your own as measured by the sum total of your game, looks, status, lifestyle, and so on. This causes you to game them using bad form, leading to nonstop injury (i.e. failure) and pain. You must reduce the standard of women you pursue and lay them using good form to develop the proper foundational strength to increase your standard in the future.

There are many signs to know if a girl’s value is higher than yours:

  • you constantly think of how you should game her
  • you seek advice from other men on what to do next
  • you worry about whether she likes you or not
  • you are anxious about how long it takes for her to reply to your messages
  • you have high hopes that she like you enough so that a monogamous relationship can begin

An even more obvious sign is when you feel your normal self is not enough to attract her, so you either spout multiple lies that you think she will like or you consciously attempt to game her for the entirety of your interactions without ever relaxing your guard. These are all signs that the weight is too heavy.

It’s also possible for the weight to be too light, where a relationship with a middling girl will do nothing to increase your strength, and may actually decrease it. This is common with girls who aggressively pursue you and initiate all steps of intimacy. There should always be a risk-taking component where failure is possible if you make a stupid move.

A man who will be most satisfied with his game results should pursue the middle. With game effort that doesn’t include micro-managing every step of the seduction, he should be able to attract and maintain the girl. While it’s nowadays impossible for a man to be truly himself with a woman, we should be at least half authentic without a girl getting turned off. If you have to be totally inauthentic to get a girl, the weight is too heavy.

How can we improve our value in a way where the girls we like have a natural attraction to us, where the weight is not too heavy that we will get injured and not too light that we aren’t stimulating our muscles, but right in the middle where we can lift the weight with good form and improve our strength in the process? How can I live in a way where 9’s are into me from the start with moderate effort instead of 7’s? What can I do so that very beautiful women stay with me where I don’t need to act like a full-time clown? These are all questions that we must figure out ourselves.

There is not a lot of glamour in benching ten reps at 170 pounds instead of one rep of 250, but the gym will be our second home for the rest of our lives. We need to develop and maintain a consistent program that keeps us injury free just as much as it gives us strength. The game is no different. We have to construct a game and pursue a level of woman that keeps us playing for decades, not just one year that ends in a spectacular burnout because we were unreasonable with our standards.

As for me, I understand that girls in the 7 range are a good mean to pursue. I do have to use some game techniques on them, but I don’t have to stress to keep them on the hook. At the same time, I like to see how strong I’ve gotten so I do pursue girls higher than that, but not exclusively. The most balanced game program must take into account not just what I want, but what I can consistently get based on who I am at the moment.

As I continue with self-improvement and put myself in environments where attractive women are in plentiful supply, my standards should go up just like how a man who commits to a gym program gets stronger. Build your foundation, keep it maintained, and then increase your weight over time, but don’t be embarrassed to decrease the weight in the short term.

Read Next: Two Strategies For Having A Good Sex Life

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