Here’s an email I received recently:

I’ve recently realized it’s usually a bad idea to ask a chick for her phone number.

1. If she’s truly interested, she will ask you!

2. By asking her for her number, you are raising her status in the interaction between the two of you.

3. Getting her number gives her reassurance that she doesn’t need to sleep with you that night because you are already into her enough to want her number.

4. If you know you will never ask a girl for her number unless she offers it, you will quit spending so much time overanalyzing your time with her, wondering how to manipulate the interaction to get the number.

1. Many girls do, but not all, including girls that you can get out and fuck on the first or second date. By keeping this rigid rule you cost yourself notches, plain and simple.

2. Not by as much as you think, especially when you preclude the number ask with “you seem cool.” Understand that most women of the world like confident guys who make the first move. I’m convinced that my aggressiveness and persistence gets me laid more than my awesome jokes. Don’t confuse those qualities with neediness or desperation.

3. I don’t see why this is relevant when you only get the number after you’ve tried all you can to hit that first night. Many of the numbers you get should be on the steps of her house or in the narrow dark alley right next to it.

4. I agree with you for guys who only think in numbers. But if your interaction with a girl is cut short, it pays to ask.

Let me put it this way: say a very low 1 out of 50 numbers you get results in a bang. And the time it takes to get a number is 20 seconds. And the time to call or text that number is 60 seconds. (80 seconds x 50 numbers = 1 hour of time). Is it worth one hour of time spread out over weeks or months to bang an attractive girl?

Of course, especially when you consider that one hour is at least the amount of time you spend jerking off in a week. Fact is one hour is a drop in the bucket. Get numbers all the time after you’ve already pushed the interaction as far and long as you could. Don’t hope to meet those confident girls that can ask. Not only is that as much luck as game, but those aggressive “in charge” girls have slept with tons more guys than the more timid ones. Every now and then I still like seeing the girl grimace upon initial penetration.

P.S. If you liked this post then I think you will like my book Bang, a collection of simple but powerful techniques, moves, and lines that make it easier for the average 20-something man to be more successful with women. Topics in Bang include discussion of the alpha male, effective opening lines, conversation themes, getting phone numbers, detailed dating strategy, and much more.

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If you’re overanalyzing the process of asking for a girl’s phone number to the point where you have to send a bulleted email to Roosh about it, you might as well go to the doctor and get your dick cut off.

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I think this just comes from frustration from getting numbers but nothing after it. Understandable, but as we all know, numbers don’t mean shit and girls give them out all the time. Just stay on the grind.

Hahahaha…well said Laura. Too funny.

I’ll admit to overthinking it in the past, and not getting a number on what otherwise was a sure thing. I figured I figured that I’d “play it cool”, and get in touch with her again through our mutual friends. Bad move. Do that a couple of times and you’ll never do it again.

Instead, I take an approach where I don’t ask her for the number, but get the interaction to a comfortable enough point to where I can tell her to give me her number.

Getting out of the habit of asking girls to comply with a request, unless your in a relationship, is very important. Guys who ask girls for compliance/direction tend to do it to excess, which is unattractive to most women.

Unless she’s obviously head over heels for you, you shouldnt be asking her to fulfill your requests, in general. You should be telling them in a non-assholish way. Instead of “Do you want to come with me/us?” Its, “Come with me/us”. Its not “Can I have your number?” But “Give me your number, now(optional)”. Being adamant/aggressive can even seem charming if the interaction is where it should be.

Making a future date, which assumes the future exchange of numbers, is also a good way to go.

The email you received sounds like someone who has spent way to much time studying “pick up artist” philosophy.

Many times those tactics are too hyper paranoid about “seeming needy” and “using crutches”. Its all a bunch of rubbish.

Too many people are trying to re-invent the wheel.

Be The G, and stick to the basics:

Roll out
Dress Sharp
Be The Man
Approach Girls
Crack Jokes
Have Fun
Get Numbers
Smoke Cigarettes
Down Cocktails
Follow up
Swoop

Repeat.

- MPM

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You have to ask for the number. I think it’s easier than the approach. Just say “hey, i have to go meet a friend. Let’s stay in touch, is there a number I can reach you at?”

and then just shut the fuck up and she’ll respond. The response is more important than the number.

More important than whether you ask for a girl’s number is HOW you ask for her number.

Doing it in the right way, by making it seem totally natural and ordinary, builds status by showing that you are a confident guy who is unafraid to take the initiative and go after what he wants.

Doing it in the wrong way, by seeming needy, desperate or excessively grateful that a girl actually gave you her number, is a sure turn-off.

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I’ve recently realized it’s usually a bad idea to approach chicks.

1. If she’s truly interested, she will approach you!

2. By approaching her, you are raising her status in the interaction between the two of you.

3. Approaching her gives her reassurance that she doesn’t need to sleep with you that night because you are already into her enough to do the approach.

4. If you know you will never approach a girl unless she approaches you first, you will quit spending so much time overanalyzing your time with her, wondering how to manipulate the interaction to get the approach done.

some amazing art roosh. you’ll like it since you post this type of stuff on your twitter.

http://vimeo.com/6555161

This guy must be pretty inexperienced. Some girls just need a little bit of a push and they will have sex with you. I don’t mind providing that push.

I’ve gotten numbers after a 10-minute interaction, then had my dick in the girl after a short first date. If I’d never asked for the number I would never have seen her again.

Based on my experience, for every 1 girl who will ask for your number there are another 10 who will fuck you after 1 or 2 dates- but you’re gonna have to ask for their number to set those dates up.

FWIW, my standard number close is something like “You’re cute, you should give me your number so we can hang out sometime.” Then I get out my phone.

You will get a lot farther by taking the initiative and pushing the interaction then you ever will by waiting for a girl to give you her number.

It’s happened to me where a girl has taken the initiative, but the vast majority of my successes have been because I persisted and ended up hooking up. Poster number 11 hit it right on the head, as there are girls out there who just need a little push and will bang you.

I know you don’t give out your name unless the girl gives hers or asks first. Do you think there are parallels to giving out your name first and asking for number? In college it seems like that most peoples pickup lines are “Whats your name?”

Getting the number isn’t as important as the interaction prior to getting the number. If the interaction is going well enough where she has a good feeling about you, either she will give you her number herself, or she will be happy to give you her number when you ask for it.

That being said, I don’t think you can make this stuff as efficient as saying “GIRLS ONLY LIKE THIS” etc. Gaming is a reflexive process, and you always have to adjust your game. Some things that are consistently important? Body language, getting good kino, and smiling– and as Roosh points out, persistence, which is an alpha trait because it shows you go after what you want– and that makes girls wet.

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[...] – “How to Get Laid Without Approaching“, “Is it a Bad Idea to Ask for Phone Numbers?“, “Vitória, Brazil Travel Guide for [...]

So I bought a Dead Bat in Paraguay and I’m about a third of the way through. It has been rather painful listening to the author gripe and moan about his stomach ailments and failed attempts to bed a local piece of ass. So Roosh finally gets laid with some teacher who looks older than she is after 3months or so of living in hostels. Thank God, but are you serious! Im not sure if I can finish this book. Roosh-what bars do you hang at in DC so I can get my 13 bucks back.

Nice work Roosh.

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