All posts by Roosh

Playful Vibe

There is a fun date routine I do when I remember it. Usually this is done after you make out with her and there is a mutual interest. It’s a play on when guys divulge their feelings for a girl. She thinks you are going to say something mushy and emotional, but then you go the opposite way. It takes some acting to pull off if you don’t want her to catch on to the joke.

You need to say it slow and dramatically. Look down a couple times and purse your lips.

“There is something I have to tell you. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. It’s not easy for me to tell you this, but it’s something that must be said even though we don’t know each other that well. This is what, date one? Still, it just won’t feel right if I hold it in.”

Look her in the eyes and hold her hand for effect. Now say something innocent you like that has no sexual connotation.

“I really like chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. I’m addicted. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

She will either roll her eyes or hit you.

There is a lite version you can do on the same night you meet her when it’s clear she is interested in you. Look her in the eyes, with your hands on her hips, and say, “Do you have any idea what I’m thinking about right now?”

You’re saying it in a tone where she thinks the answer is sex. Squint your eyes a little so it’s all sexy like.

“This chocolate chip peanut butter cookie that they sell at Barnes & Noble. It’s so good I could really eat one right now. I ask them to microwave it because the heat energy makes it taste so much better.”

It gets a similar response. Fun girls appreciate a playful vibe.

Most Retarded Question You Can Ask Someone

When you meet someone new, there is one question you should never ask:

“What’s your story?”

Every girl who has asked me that has turned out to have no social intelligence. If you have any understanding on how to maintain a good conversation, you wouldn’t ask a question so open-ended that paralyzes more than inspires. Asking this question also shows you are lazy for not tailoring the conversation to the person’s unique background. It’s ten times worse than a guy asking “Do you come here often?”

There are two additional questions that seem similar but are not: “What’s your deal?” and “Who are you?” If a girl asks this with a smirk then she is pleasantly surprised by your personality and is beginning to consider having intimacy with you. These two questions are rhetorical in nature and let you know that your game is working.

Roosh Update

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I’ve been working on the book. It’s the only thing holding me back from leaving because I refuse to buy my ticket until the final copy is complete. I’ll be done by the first week of July.

Also, Flag Day is coming up.

It’s Time

Reader mail:

I need to know where you found that can of Stolichnaya vodka. I’ve been looking all over for it, but I can’t find it anywhere.

Ah yes, the can…

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I bought it almost 18 months ago at a Venezuelan liquor store for about $4. The can is 12 ounces, meaning it will produce 8 standard shots.

I’m going to eat a gigantic meal, take the can to a party, and finish it without any chasers. I will be a superstar at the party. As long as I pace myself and munch on snacks, I see no problems with this plan.

Postscript: Well that was disappointing. I killed two-thirds of the can at a party on Saturday and barely got buzzed. The vodka had a semi-sweet taste so maybe the alcohol deactivated or something. Also, I was not the party’s superstar like I thought I would be.

Rock Bottom

The first time I went into Grand Central with my wingman, this girl gave me a smile. She wanted me to approach but her appearance was disagreeable. Thirty minutes later she gave me another smile but I still didn’t bite. Finally she decided to take matters into her own hands when she slid up next to me at the bar. I was more intoxicated by then and open to talking to her, but no way I was having sex with her.

She gave up after a while because I kept giving one-word answers to her questions. She went to sit down next to her cuter friend, who VK took a liking too. Thirty minutes later he told me he wanted to get the friends number real quick and then we could leave. I tagged along and sat at the table.

The girl who liked me was half German and half Japanese, but unfortunately she was born in the United States so there was no flag consideration. Her face was all sorts of bad—she didn’t really have a chin and I couldn’t hold eye contact for more than three seconds. This would be like a negative notch.

I was being a good wingman until my beast said to me, “God you’re so hot I just want to kiss you.” Fellas, if a girl tells you that you’re hot, you are way out of her league. Only “cute” is acceptable. I knew this but earlier in the day I checked my budget spreadsheet and saw that my cost per notch was just above my $50 goal for the year. If I bang this beast tonight, mission accomplished. So I banged her. I put a Turkish flag on her face and did her for my Mom’s country.

After the deed was done, I looked at the clock and it was 1:30. My ride, the Metro, closed at midnight (it was a weekday) so I was stuck until the morning. I got up at 7am, looked at her face, and felt like dog shit. And I’m not being dramatic—I had to think of all the pretty girls I’ve dated to make myself feel better.

I stopped by McDonalds for a post-celebratory bang treat of a Sausage, Egg, and Cheese McGriddle. It was tasty and took my mind off the beast bang (the maple syrup is built right into the pancake buns), but I remembered why I stopped going to McDonalds during each of the three times I visited the toilet that day. I deserved loose stools after what I did. At home I couldn’t even look my little brothers in the face.

I stooped low just to say I accomplished a goal that was experimental in the first place. The only thing a low CPN proves is that you are dirty and can get one night stands. But I already knew that about myself in the first place. Getting laid on the cheap is nice, but where’s the emotional connection? Where’s the passion? Where’s the game growth? Where’s the self-respect?

My CPN for 2007 will stand for eternity at $45. Its neon yellow box has been deleted from my spreadsheet.

Summer Love Happy Hour

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Image Credit: Kathryn

When: Friday, June 15 @ 8PM

Where: Grand Central in Adams Morgan

Who: Arjewtino, I Now Pronounce You, KassyK, Virgle Kent, me

We have recruited a new member to the happy hour team: INPY, who displayed his hosting talent at a successful event two weeks ago.

This happy hour will take place at Grand Central, a new bar that I’m really liking even though there is usually a lot of white people. It’s like a cleaner Front Page with better music and more attractive people.

Postscript: For a post that promotes this happy hour better than I just did, go here. The others: KassyK, Virgle Kent, and Arjewtino.

My Monthly Nut

Since late last year I’ve cut everything I can from my monthly budget. I’ve reduced all recurring expenses to only three items:

Student Loans: $177
Cell Phone: $38
Blog Hosting: $15

Total: $230

If you don’t count the cell phone, which I’m getting rid of when I leave, that means I only need $200 to cover my ass every month. I’m not counting car insurance because I just sold my car two days ago.

Now let’s include optional spending on things like coffee, transportation, books, and entertainment. The reason I’m calling all these expenditures optional is because technically I can stay in my Dad’s house all day and eat his food and surf his internet without spending a dollar. These figures are from May, which I’d say was a typical month.

Coffeeshop: $72
Dating: $24
Nightlife: $186
Outside food & 7-11: $43
Used books: $35
Public transportation and gas: $103
Gifts & favors: $4
Netflix: $16
Grocery store: $48
Target: $36

Total: $567

Therefore I need about $800 in income a month to maintain the status quo of drinking, reading, writing, and banging. But since living with my Dad is only a short-term arrangement, I’ll really need about $1500 a month in income a month to account for shelter and electricity. That’s $375 a week, which I can get by bartending again for 3-4 nights a week. If I lived in a developing country I’d need about half that.

A lot of people search for higher paying jobs (or even a second job) to pay for an expensive lifestyle, but my strategy is to go the other way. If you need less things then you can work less as well, giving you more leisure time to do the things you really want to do. While money issues will surface eventually, the only thing I worry about right now in life is missing the last Metro train home.

Newsletter No. 6

This weekend I’m sending out a newsletter about taking advantage of approach opportunities, and when you should beat yourself up for not doing anything. Sign-up in top right, or go here.

Some of the free email services act weird with the mailings, so I recommend you add [email protected] to your address book. If you missed any of the previous newsletters, or come Monday you don’t get this one, just send me an email.

Sleeping With Prostitutes

About half a dozen guys I’ve met since college have told me their story of sleeping with a prostitute. There was one thing in common with each guy: none of them actually paid for the prostitute, a relative or friend did. All of them made sure to stress that fact, which tells me that the shame isn’t in sleeping with prostitutes, it’s paying for it.

I’m not a fan of the “Well you are paying for sex anyway through dating” argument. Sure you spend money on food or drink with the intent of sleeping with a girl, but sex is never a sure-thing and in the end she sleeps with you because she wants to, not because she thinks she’ll get something immediately after the sex act is done. I agree that there are golddiggers who put out to keep the good times rolling, but I doubt they actually count how many more dinners they will get from one additional instance of sex.

If I’m able to sleep with attractive girls on my own, I can’t imagine a reason or situation where I would pay for one, even if I was about to jam it in. But how about if there is a girl who is incredibly hot and on a level way beyond anything I’ve experienced? If the price was right and she “looked” clean, I would give it consideration until the disease issue would most likely force me to back out. Morally and intellectually, though, I can handle it.

Live And Learn

Continued from The Encounter.

I rolled off her onto the other side of the bed. In Spanish I said, “No me dijiste eso. No pago para el sexo” which I was hoping translated to “You did not tell me that. I don’t pay for sex.” I got on my back and stared at the ceiling. She said everything is okay and snuggled up next to me. I got the impression that she would bang anyway, but I was no longer in the mood.

I laid there motionless and quiet, stunned, reliving the past five minutes of my life, still naked with a condom on my junk. There’s the prostitute, laying next to me. She’s probably thinking about how much money she lost on me. I felt dirty, stupid. She got up from the bed and put on her clothes. I put on my boxers and walked her out to make sure she didn’t decide to grab a snack from the refrigerator and discover my money stash in the butter compartment. No more words were exchanged between us. I went to the bathroom after she left and rinsed my mouth with Listerine and brushed my teeth, a mostly symbolic cleansing for I’m sure I already have everything that could be transmitted from mouth to mouth contact.

It’s tempting to say that I should have known, but I disagree. I’ve had some experiences with American girls which come close to the Brazilian, and when you have been bombarded with messages that Brazilians are hyper-sexual beings you figure it’s just their normal way of doing things. Plus I had too many Polar Ices.

I know what I will do next time: I will make a casual reference to being short of cash. Maybe I’ll ask her if the bar accepts credit cards or I’ll say that I’m only having one more beer because I spent all my money and can’t find an ATM. If she is a prostitute, she’ll probably ditch me immediately. Short of asking her if she is a prostitute, which may kill my chances if she isn’t one, any insinuation of being broke should do. Basically what I do now with American girls.

I had a grin on my face the next morning. What a fucked up but crazy experience to have. And all it cost me was a whole lot of sand she left behind on my bed. I’m smarter and have better prostitutite-dar than before, but I’ll be surprised if I don’t cross paths with another secret prostitute again. I’m just glad I didn’t touch her vagina with anything but my fingers.

Conclusion: Sleeping With Prostitutes

The Encounter

Enough time has passed where I feel comfortable sharing something that happened to me in Venezuela. The emotional wounds have healed.

It was my fifth night there and I was on Margarita Island. That night I met a couple waitresses at a restaurant who took me to a club two blocks away. I thought I was going to hook up with one of the them but that didn’t happen so I was on my own for the second half of the night.

Going through the back of the club put you directly on the beach. I dodged couples making out to sit on a sand ledge facing the ocean. The wind was strong that night, my friends. I closed my eyes and placed my hands on the sand behind me. This is the type of moment that is enhanced with a girl, I thought. Not two minutes later, a random girl I never met before did show up. She sat right next to me.

She was alright looking. Maybe a 6.5 out of 10. Cute but not hot. In bad English she asked me where I was from. I told her and then she said she was from Brazil. Then she gave me this lazy look and glanced at my lips. If you’re a guy, you know what I’m talking about. It took less than 30 seconds for us to start making out on this sand ledge. I guess all those things they say about Brazilian girls are true.

We went back inside and I bought a round of Polar Ice beers (a dollar each). This girl is dancing in front of me as I’m sitting down enjoying my beer. Then she asks me where I’m staying. I had a $50 a night apartment with its own bedroom and kitchen, luxurious by Venezuelan standards. She asked me if I wanted to go back to my place.

Now this concerned me. I’ve had girls move fast on me before but this is exceptionally fast. And she is from Brazil, a land known for its casual prostitution. I told her that I wanted to hang out at the bar a little longer because I like the music. If she saw me as a potential client, I wanted her to get discouraged and move onto easier fish. But if she wasn’t a prostitute, she wouldn’t mind hanging out for a bit longer. I got a second beer and we hung out for another 30 minutes.

Once I knew her for an hour, I concluded that she definitely was not a prostitute. I was ready. “Why don’t we go back to my place?” I said. She agreed, and we walked there. Inside I gave her a tour of the apartment that ended in my bedroom. I went to the kitchen to get some water and to put my cash in the refrigerators butter compartment—just in case she tried to rob me after I went to sleep.

Things progressed quickly in the bedroom. Within 10 minutes we were both completely naked. My condom use can best be described as a hair short of full safety compliance, but with this girl there was no fucking way I’m getting near her without one. She didn’t look that clean anyway.

I put on a condom and got ready to make big penetration. Then she said something which has been permanently etched into my brain, Brazilian accent and all.

“Pay me.”

Part 2: Live and Learn

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Basic Travel Tips & Links

I’ve received a few emails from people my age asking for some travel advice. I’m posting this one because it has some helpful links for everyone.

To plan trips I used to go to the bookstore and grab the travel books and sit there and read them. I don’t know if you have tried this but it’s pretty useless in trying to find places you think are good. There really is no travel guide written for the single young guy. I tried the internet too but it’s mostly just advertisements and general info that the travel books have.

So that leaves two real sources of decent info:

1. People you know, who know you and what you would like.

2. Message boards, with opinions that are more honest and current.

Some sites I use…

BootsnAll Travel Forum
Road Junky – i read this regularly
Hostel reviews
FlyerTalk Forum
Couch Surfing – myspace for travelers
WikiTravel Guides – dry but free

You may be reduced to picking a major city you like and just winging it. Once you get there it will be much easier to find things to do because you only have to ask the locals.

As for travel tips, my main one is to keep your schedule as free as possible. Don’t reserve more than your first couple nights of rooms and don’t buy any bus/train tickets in advance. Once you get to the location, you will find out about things you can do and you want to be as free as possible to change your schedule.

Roosh

In other travel news, it took me about six hours but I was finally able to get a custom map installed that keeps track of my whereabouts. When I post from down there, all I have to do is attach my longitude and latitude coordinates and a marker automatically shows up here. Then you can click on a post from that location. 😎

Only In America

Sunny Lane is a porn actress, which means she gets paid to have sex with random men on camera. Her career is managed by her parents, who are very pleased that their daughter is famous and making money.

XXX Family Values (work safe)

For them, Sunny’s co-stars are her “dates,” and they say they’d rather her have sex on a porn set than with a “civilian” who might eventually break her heart.

I agree. It’s much better for a girl to get fucked by hundreds of large cocks than to try for the kind of relationship that resulted in her existence. This type of thing only happens in cultures where money and fame is believed to be more important than qualities like self-respect and humility. My brothers in Afghanistan would agree that this would never happen over there.

I’m not mentioning this story because it’s shocking or surprising, but to show that certain outcomes follow naturally from their corresponding beliefs. Next thing you know they’ll have porn movies with mothers and daughters sharing the same guy.