All posts by Roosh

Learning During Cold Streaks

Excerpt from Bang:

Some productivity experts recommend you attach a deadline to your goal. For example: “I am going to sleep with a mother and daughter team within six months.” I don’t advise doing this because the game is so unpredictable and quirky that time goals can be discouraging during the inevitable cold streak. As you gain skill, there will be periods where you sleep with multiple girls in a short amount of time, followed by nothing for several months.

When I was a full-time student of the game, I went to great lengths to get out of a cold streak. I would pull out a piece of paper, write a short-term goal, and make a bulleted list of all the things I should do and try to get out of it. The goal was usually set a month from when I started to write down this list. The sad part: I never achieved the goal within the deadline, and stopped making lists.

It took myself years later to realize what happened. During the goal month I experimented a lot with a shotgun strategy, trying to hit something that can get me out of the cold streak. I was learning instead of succeeding. Once the month was over and I was disappointed with the results, I put my list away and then unconsciously only did things that worked well. Then I hit.

At least once a month I go out and spit the craziest and weirdest shit I can think of. I remember one time I got out a scrap piece of paper and pretended I was reading simple lines like “Hi. How are you. What is your name?” Then the girl would peek at the paper and see a stick-figure drawing of me and a cat. And she would give me this look like “Who are you?” I don’t do this to get laid but to learn how girls respond to things and where the limits are. Learning and success go hand in hand, but they don’t always happen at the same time.

Girls and monogamy-included men really hate the methodical approach to game where you set goals in the form of vaginas and write down notes or ideas to accomplish them. I’ll admit it is a little weird, and it’s not something I’d tell to people who aren’t doing what I’m doing, but it works.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

Marvin Review

Marvin is a bar that just opened in October 2007. It is located in the “up-and-coming” area of U St near Busboys & Poets.

Ambiance: Your grandmother’s house.

People: Semi-hipsters. The late 20’s / early 30’s people here are “new” hipsters who have just taken up the cause, instead of being the hardcore type with skinny jeans who only goes to Black Cat and drink beer from a can (a low-class way to drink beer in my opinion).

Being a hipster used to be a way to get away from the mainstream, so I find it ironic that hipsterdom has been co-opted by the mainstream.

marvin1.jpgGirls: Uninspiring for the most part, but posing spot selection makes a big difference. Instead of hanging inside where you’ll just meet frumpy girls who can’t dance, head to the patio where there is more girl traffic ensuring for a better selection. Some undesirable, older women have given me very strong indicators of interest here.

Chance Of Hooking Up Rating: 2 out of 5. You’ll get a number but that’s it unless you are very aggressive with tight game.

The Verdict: Go if you want a tolerable place where people are not obviously lame, but if you want to meet girls who are easy then head deeper into the dregs of Adams Morgan where Grand Central is still a winner.
:cheerleader:

I’m 28-Years-Old And Not Jaded Or Bitter

I was at a bar talking to a girl who kept bragging that she was a bitch, and quite literally: she repeated “I’m a bitch” several times when I questioned her abrasive attitude. It made me think back to this girl I met in Brazil, who was feminine and gentle and would be embarrassed to say something like that about herself. But this is America.

I don’t mind a challenge under the influence so I wanted to see if I could crack her candy-coated shell to get to the gooey lubricated center (I know, I’m reinforcing the behavior). Whenever you meet someone who has a shell, 99% of the time it’s because they have been hurt badly in the past, but since everyone has been hurt, why is it some people get colder as go through the human condition and others get more.. human? Well I think it’s because one group has a belief that pain is bad and you must do everything to avoid it, while the other sees value in all experiences, good and bad.

truck.jpgAfter I built rapport with this girl, I asked her why she’s so rough. I told her how much attractive she’d be if she’d be more like a gentle flower instead of a box of razors. Eventually it comes out that she has been hurt. Her eyes well up and I felt a moment. Most girls I meet are intolerable and I wouldn’t want to spend time with them outside the bedroom, but you get these moments from them where they are so vulnerable and sweet. Her shield collapsed and I felt like this was the real girl and I wanted to get to know her. There was a short kiss and I got her number.

I bump into her one hour later. It was obvious the moment was gone and I’d have to work to get it back, but it wasn’t worth it. She’s capable of being the type of girl I want, but I shouldn’t have to constantly dig to find the real person inside. Any girl in her 20’s should come pre-fabricated to livable specifications. I’m not a dog trainer. So I never called her.

Exactly one week later I met another girl, also young. She wasn’t a bitch but she had a shield up as well and referred to being jaded from “crash and burns,” which I took to mean “pumps and dumps.” “Twenty-two and jaded already?” I worked it like other girl and had a nice moment with the “real” or natural girl. Her sister, who was a bitch, became alarmed and dragged her away per the tired American female cockblocking ritual. One hour later I saw her, but the moment passed, and I didn’t bother.

Urban Dictionary

I did a Google search on “roosh” to see how bad the damage is, and noticed the fourth result is something from Urban Dictionary:

A poseur who thinks he’s a playa. Someone who is clueless about how unskilled he is at picking up girls.

So Michelle was at the bar and this roosh comes up to her and says “hey baby, what’s your sign?”

:laugh:

It has 83 up votes. :sob:

My Unsafe Sex Rationalization List

My safe sex practices were recently questioned by a girl and I offered the following explanation:

When I’m in bed with a girl and I get signs that tells me she is probably clean, I take that as a green light to take more risk. So I may do something like putting it in without a condom. Just because I did that with you doesn’t mean I do that with every girl.

Surprisingly this made the situation worse, but that got me thinking about signs I’ve used in the past:

  • She has condoms in her nightstand (intent to be safe)
  • She asks you to use a condom (safe)
  • She is upper middle class (more health conscious)
  • She is on the pill (no risk of being a daddy)
  • She does not seem promiscuous
  • She has a clean appearance or smell
  • She didn’t let me hit on the same night I met her (not easy)
  • She was married or got out of a really long-term relationship (more likely to be monogamous, less sexual partners)
  • She doesn’t identify with Samantha on Sex and the City
  • She gets frequent gynecological exams (awareness of all 70 strains of HPV)
  • She doesn’t have tattoos (low hepatitis C risk)

My list is definitely not scientific, but the more things she has on the list the more comfortable I feel having natural sex. It doesn’t help that as I get older I’m getting the feeling of invincibility that I’ve probably been exposed to STDs but am immune to all of them. I brush aside comments by girls who say I’m “most likely” a HPV carrier.

I think of safe sex as a scale from 1-10. A 1 has never bought condoms and only uses them when the herpes is flaring up while a 10 needs signed laboratory tests from her partner before going raw. I’m a solid 6.5, much higher than guys I know who are in the 3 range. If women understand that the vagina has evolved for millions of years to be the most intense pleasure a man can experience, they wouldn’t freak out when we just want to put it in to experience this ecstasy.

The 3 Best Movies In The History Of The World

Number 1: Gladiator

gladiator_10.jpgFavorite quote: “My name is Gladiator.”

This is the best movie ever made. Whenever a girl asks me what my favorite movie is and I tell her Gladiator, she rolls her eyes and tells me my stock has decreased, perhaps hoping that I would be “above” such a film and instead mention some indie flick that changed the world. As intelligent and cultured as I am, Gladiator contains everything a real man could possibly want in a movie: brutal violence, sword-play, strength, honor, offscreen rape, incest. I identified so much with the hero Maximus due to our similar life arcs that I cried when he died at the end, and I’m proud to admit that.

Number 2: The Fifth Element

fifth_element_04.jpgFavorite quote: “Ecto gammat!” (Never again without my permission)

This is one of those movies that you find more and more brilliant each time you watch, sort of like Big Trouble In Little China. There is just so much going on: mongoloids, supreme being, Deebo as the President, robot bartender, Chris Tucker, Zorg, Aziz’s light, and so on. The only reason this is not the best movie ever made is because I did not cry. My entire sense of humor can be contributed to this film, and it’s not even a comedy.

Gimme the casssshhhh…

Number 3: Heat

heat_l.jpgFavorite quote (more like important life lesson): “You want to be making moves on the street? Have no attachments. Allow nothing to be in your life that you cannot walk out on in thirty seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner.”

There is an underrated movie that doesn’t get a lot of buzz. People go in thinking it’s going to be this huge action movie and are disappointed when it turns out to be a three hour character movie centered around Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro. It’s the last good movie that Robert DeNiro starred in before he started appearing in dreck like The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle, Analyze That, and Meet The Fockers. I find the bank robber story to be just a device to let the actors work their magic. Like me, I think that you will reevaluate your life after watching.

Notable runners-up: Fight Club, True Lies, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, Coming To America, Dawn Of The Dead (remake), and Coneheads

Next Big Project

1. I want to thank my newest sponsor, The Seduction Chronicles. You’ll probably like posts such as Top 20 Date Idea “Templates” for Men, Favorite Cocky & Funny Lines, and Interview With Neil Strauss.

2. The radio show on Friday was fun. Listen to the podcast on The Seduction Bible.

3. I’m almost done with my next big project. I should be done with it in about two weeks.

4. On a sadder note, Just Going With It is finished. Some local new-to-me blogs I’ve been reading lately are Bridal Bird, DC Bar Wench, Listen To Leon, DC Hero, and I never know when to shut up

Postscript: Post ratings are back.

The Fast Kiss

From Bang:

You’ll notice I gave a way to start the date without accounting for whether you kissed her or not in your previous encounter. That’s because even if you did kiss her beforehand, you can’t just greet her with your tongue—you have to “start over” again and rebuild the energy from the last time you saw her. It’s like re-priming a pump. When it comes to the first date, the only difference that prior kissing makes is towards the end of the date, when you are most likely to get farther.

How important is it to kiss a girl when you first meet her? There are a couple ways of looking at it. The first: Does kissing a girl increase the likelihood of her returning my first call? From my experience and that of my friends, it seems to make no difference. That’s because kissing is really not a big deal in this culture, where girls will kiss a guy just because she is intoxicated and her friend is already hooked up with another guy. (But in Argentina, for example, the kiss is a big deal and probably would increase chances of a return call).

The fast kiss actually does two things: (1) it keeps you on task and (2) it makes the first date a lot more exciting. When you’re talking to a girl and your goal is something vague like “build attraction,” what happens is you may overdo things like humor for the sake of being interesting and miss an opportunity. Instead of thinking of how ready she is to receive your mouth, you are wondering what your next awesome conversational piece will be. But if your goal is to kiss her, you will do just enough humor or teasing or conversation until you get those subtle signs to progress things by touching and glancing at her lips instead of talking. You should be getting the kiss under the two hour mark, but 45-60 minutes is more ideal. (If your mind is saying “That’s crazy!” then you need to work either on your game or venue selection.)

If you don’t kiss her when you first meet, the most you will probably get on the first date is a makeout. Since it’s difficult to get the makeout out of the way early in the date, you have to wait until the end, and by then she will most likely not be prepared for doing much more. But if you did kiss her when you first meet, she is far more open to going past that. She is going on a date with a guy she already kissed because she wants to do more. I don’t think I had sex with any girl on the first date that I didn’t kiss beforehand.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

Surprisingly Good Sex Tips

I planned this post for a Thursday because the weekend is coming and a small minority of you are going to have sex.

Every man needs to read the beautifully written Just Fucking Fuck me, Already. A girl is frustrated about how passive and timid men are when it comes to the bedroom.

But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We’ve done dinner and drinks. We’ve gone dancing. We’ve cuddled and watched a movie. I’m wearing a low cut shirt and you’ve been staring at my breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me.

When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please fuck me. Trust me, I’m not going to just lie still – I’ll get involved. But don’t make me force your hand into my panties. That makes me feel like a rapist. We’ve been kissing for a half hour and your hand keeps grazing my ass. That’s nice, but it’s time to move forward. Get on top of me. Don’t make me get on top right out of the gate and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I’m practicing some crazy new aerobic yoga because YOU won’t go down on me. Roll on top and start dry humping like a good boy should. Don’t gently suck my nipples and then pull back when I moan with pleasure. You being coy is totally not what I want. It’s not what WE want.

She goes on…

We really like it when you come. It’s called a money shot for a reason. Watching semen shoot out of you is one of the most gratifying things EVER. However, do not assume that she wants you to jack it off onto her face. She might, but don’t assume. Seeing and/or feeling you come is rewarding for us, so there’s no need to deprive us of it, but please do consult us before unleashing. “I think I’m going to come – how do you like it?” is a fair question that shouldn’t rob you of your testicles.

This is a woman who likes men and sex. Notice how she doesn’t nit-pick about the little things and is trying to educate men on the overall experience. I got an erection after reading it.

On the other side, every woman needs to read Blowjob Tutorial.

If you simply wanted to get a guy off as quickly as possible, all you need to do is lock your lips at the base of his cock and suction them up and down the bottom ¾ of his shaft at a quick, steady pace while pressing your flattened tongue against the underside of his dick. Make sure you are applying pressure with both your lips AND tongue. Keeping your tongue engaged at all times is key. I try to keep mine moving at all times. This is how you get 90% of guys off.

…at least once during the beej, I usually pop his dick out of my mouth and slap it against my tongue or face, then look at him while I rub his cock against my cheeks and lips. Guys are visual, this is just a little something dirty for him to look at.

Not only are most girls clueless the proper technique, they only reluctantly give head when a man asks or insinuates. What happened to doing it because you love it? Asking for head is kind of like explaining the punch line of a joke—it takes away from the climax. I got an erection after reading her post as well, and will be forwarding it to future girls I meet as a “fun article.”

A Disenchanted Playroom

A photographer named Wolfram Hahn created a photo series of children watching television.

The children depicted in this series are between three and twelve. Their regards are sad, with facial expressions rather to be associated with adults, unusual for children this age. They regard a spot below the camera; focusing on something in that space not revealed to the viewer. As such they seem lifeless like dolls, or bodies bereft of their spirits.

You can see the photos at his web site. An article was written about it in Art In America.

The photos hit me because I have a four-year-old brother who watches at least three hours of television a day. It’s usually educational programs on PBS or Noggin, but regardless of their value they still co-opt his imagination and train him to take cues from marketers. When he enters a supermarket, he asks for specific brands that are advertised on television and knows exactly where to get them.

A lot of us in our late 20’s are caught up in this multi-task / short-attention span culture, but at least we were spared the most harmful effects of television growing up. All I had to look forward as a kid was Saturday morning cartoons, but these days there are several channels that offer video crack to kids using the latest advances in psychology and brainwashing. I’m afraid that my brother’s brain will be wired differently than mine, and since I’m not his parent there is not much I can do about it.

40-Year-Old Spinster Is Expert On Marriage

There is a sad article called Marry Him which has been floating around. I’ve beaten the topic to death here but there are a few sections I wanted to comment on.

And despite growing up in an era when the centuries-old mantra to get married young was finally (and, it seemed, refreshingly) replaced by encouragement to postpone that milestone in pursuit of high ideals (education! career! but also true love!), every woman I know—no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure—feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried.

Part of the problem is that when she does hit the panic stage she blames everyone but herself. It’s hopeless because these women will never make the changes necessary to get a husband. They don’t adapt.

My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year.

All girls have to do is be reasonable. They need to ask themselves if what they want deep in their hearts exists in the real world. If it does then is she bringing enough to the table?

It sounds obvious now, but I didn’t fully appreciate back then that what makes for a good marriage isn’t necessarily what makes for a good romantic relationship. Once you’re married, it’s not about whom you want to go on vacation with; it’s about whom you want to run a household with. Marriage isn’t a passion-fest; it’s more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business.

This is obvious to most guys. We have this expression called “marriage material” to describe girls who take care of us and would run a good household. We would not consider marrying the girl who allows us to videotape sex so we can show all our friends.

So if you rarely see your husband—but he’s a decent guy who takes out the trash and sets up the baby gear, and he provides a second income that allows you to spend time with your child instead of working 60 hours a week to support a family on your own—how much does it matter whether the guy you marry is The One?

Notice the extreme selfishness: who cares about the child having a good daddy as long as you can be with it? With all we know about the disadvantages of growing up in a single family household, I’m surprised more people are not calling these single mothers for the harm they are doing on kids who I’m sure would prefer to have a father.

What I and many women who hold out for true love forget is that we won’t always have the same appeal that we may have had in our 20s and early 30s. Having turned 40, I now have wrinkles, bags under my eyes, and hair in places I didn’t know hair could grow on women.

Gross, but don’t forget the kid from an anonymous man.

This article got me thinking to why is there demand for dating or marriage advice. Why does this article (and this blog) even need to be written? I think part of the answer is that there is no tradition or culture to fall back on in meeting people. In this country our parents did not give us sound advice on how to meet the opposite sex and how to find a long-term mate, so a Mystery comes along or The Rules girls write a book (“breathe slowly”!!!) and everyone jumps on because no one knows what the fuck they are doing. Something retarded like speed dating or “lock and key” parties arrive in e-mail boxes and everyone tries it because they have no idea how to meet someone. And a 40-year-old woman who was inseminated with sperm and who failed in finding just one decent man is writing an article in a major publication on how to get married. That would be like me writing about how to keep your long-term girlfriend happy.

If knowledge was passed from generation to generation then you’d have a lot of people growing up with sound beliefs on how to deal with the opposite sex, but that’s not what we have here anymore. Instead we’re hypersexualized and clueless.

Men Need To Be Inspired

To be inspired by a girl means you will push until your fate is sealed, not by being desperate but by using the best game you know and have trained for.

Several years ago it didn’t take much to chase a girl: if I was horny and she was alright looking then I’d go for it. But once that insecurity of not having banged enough girls fades after banging enough girls, it takes more than her just having a working vagina. This is true for most men. I’d engage in sexual intercourse with a typical cute girl I meet, but something she lacks prevents me from putting in an honest effort. Maybe it’s a bad vibe or the way she carries herself (or doesn’t). If she made it obvious she wanted to have sex with me I would, but I would never ask her out.

Then you have girls who have the looks and the vibe. There is “something about her” and I’m inspired to put forth everything I know about girls and game to get her into bed. I will not give up until I get her or get rejected. Most of the time I won’t get the girl, but sometimes I do.

Inspiration breeds desire, persistence, and effort. Why is this important? Because those are the things you need to get the best women. And when you are inspired there is a genuineness that comes out that wouldn’t if you were just faking it long enough to get your dick wet.

In Cordoba my digestive system was at its worst. Looking back I don’t know how I dealt with those symptoms and still managed to go out three times a week, pound Quilmes, and hit on as many girls as I did. I was so motivated because I really wanted those girls. There was so much inspiration in an average club that I squeezed my ass cheeks, blamed any gas on my wingman, and dealt with it. It was rough going until the end but I learned more about beautiful girls in that one month than I did in the previous year.

The biggest problem with the Washington DC area is there is little inspiration. There is always something very wrong with the girls; maybe she is fun but frumpy, hot but status and attention-driven, or cute but so witty it feels like you are talking to a cool dude. I go through the motions just to keep my game in shape, like a body-builder would during winter months. Here I’m lazy, in Argentina I stepped up. I went to clubs alone there, something I would never do here.

So that’s the problem with DC, and probably most American cities. The reason so many girls are complaining about guys barely putting in effort and playing the field, about texting instead of calling and not wanting to take them out, is because the guys are simply not inspired. Inspire a man and you will get the best of him. Otherwise he won’t give a shit.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

Sponsors

I’d like to thank my first sponsor, The Seduction Bible, a game improvement site. My favorites are the stories, like Another Horribly Bad Hookup Story and The Buenos Aires “Hooker Juice” Incident.

More information on sponsorships can be found here.

Postscript: I changed things around as you can see. I had to take down the post ratings because it was messing up the layout. I’m working on the fix.