All posts by Roosh

Top 10 Most Important Books

These are the books that have made me think the most and changed the way I see the world.

ISBN: 0940322889
An African In Greenland

The author reads a book about Greenland and decides to leave his home country at a young age to visit. It takes him almost ten years until he finally steps foot on Greenland. Encouraging book if you are thinking about making a big change.

ISBN: 0688128165
Influence

Required reading. Breaks influence and persuasion down to a science.

ISBN: 0142000078
Mean Genes

Fun read that ties together evolution and the way modern humans behave. Men will find the parts on taking “social risk” to be most helpful.

ISBN: 1555520529
Patterns Of The Hypnotic Techniques Of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. Vol 1

This book taught me how subtle differences in word choice can drastically change the meaning of what you communicate. It has influenced my game and writing.

ISBN: 0393316041
Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman!

My role model—a character who is smart, interesting, charismatic, and funny. This book chronicles Feynman through a variety of journeys, from his scientific achievements to his experience picking up women in bars.

ISBN: 0140280197
The 48 Laws Of Power

Required reading and future classic. If you haven’t read this book yet, why are you still alive?

ISBN: 0670891924
The Art Of Seduction

This book makes the list not so much because of its real-world applications but because it forces you to carefully think about the way you interact with the opposite sex, and how they interact with you.

ISBN: 0060989157
The Dirt

The most entertaining book I’ve ever read. It made me realize how much of an utter square I’ve become, due to complacency and laziness.

ISBN: 0879804440
Think And Grow Rich

Every self-help book is just derivative of this great work, which teaches you how important thinking is when it comes to getting what you want. You can replace money with whatever goal you are working on.

ISBN: 0486284956
Walden

People have been sold into living a complicated life at a cost of their own happiness and well-being. Even if you read this in high school, you need to revisit it once more as an adult.

The sequel to this post can be found here.

Below are some other books I’ve liked since college. Hold your mouse over a cover for a text box with my thoughts.

ISBN: 0192840509ISBN: 0764568779ISBN: 0451203933ISBN: 0316010669ISBN: 0805075593ISBN: 0964164078ISBN: 0452287081ISBN: 076455476XISBN: 0844270512ISBN: 0395977894ISBN: 0061234001ISBN: 0911226192ISBN: 0345410033ISBN: 0760737479ISBN: 0142000280ISBN: 0143034669ISBN: 0671723650ISBN: 080507967XISBN: 2831578442ISBN: 1400015553ISBN: 0929712315ISBN: 0679032436ISBN: 0684871483ISBN: 0440212499ISBN: 1593571313ISBN: 0945983131ISBN: 0743455967ISBN: 1889540536ISBN: 159184021XISBN: 0911226257ISBN: 0446677450ISBN: 0684849941ISBN: 0802132103ISBN: 1400015596ISBN: 0064632717ISBN: 2831578434ISBN: 0670034576ISBN: 0517707918ISBN: 0195014766ISBN: 0658014870ISBN: 0887308589ISBN: 0316346624ISBN: 020530902XISBN: 1878424319ISBN: 0060554738ISBN: 1878424424ISBN: 0970058705ISBN: 1593570899ISBN: 0805077979ISBN: 0831400447ISBN: 0767901975ISBN: 1585422789ISBN: 1565847032ISBN: 0684831074ISBN: 0393320928ISBN: 1886070237

So I’m Leaving

uncertain future
Margarita Island, Venezuela

The cowardly belief that a person must stay in one place is too reminiscent of the unquestioning resignation of animals, beasts of burden stupefied by servitude and yet always willing to accept the slipping on of the harness. There are limits to every domain, and laws to govern every organized power. But the vagrant owns the whole vast earth that ends only at the non-existent horizon, and her empire is an intangible one, for her domination and enjoyment of it are things of the spirit.

Isabelle Eberhardt

For most of the past six years, my job has been fermentation process development. I did experiments with cells (bacterial, yeast, and mammalian) in reactors up to 400 liters in size to maximize the production of biological agents that were engineered into those cells. I’ve worked on drugs aimed to treat anthrax, cancer, HIV, lupus, chlamydia, and arthritis, of which most are still toddling along in clinical trials. The work was interesting but not exciting—it was highly technical in nature and just not something that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Plus I never felt motivated enough to be a corporate go-getter. The highlights of my day were lunch and checking my email after lunch.

I’m about to buy a one-way ticket to South America, a place where I can travel while saving money at the same time. I want to start in Ecuador, go through Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Paraguay, Uruguay, and then settle in Argentina for a while before I visit Brazil, Venezuela, and Colombia. I want to get there in July and stay for at least six months. Don’t worry, the blog will continue.

When I come back to the U.S., I want to try to live somewhere else, maybe Austin or Miami. It’s time to move on from this area. Much of the next couple of months will be spent with my family, playing with my little brothers, having serious discussions with my Dad, listening to my Mom complain about my stepmom, and joking around with my 20-year-old sister. It’s going to hurt that they will no longer be a stone’s throw away from me.

My only goal is that when my time has come, when I know that I don’t have much longer to live, I have done everything I could to have a meaningful and purposeful life, one lived to the fullest potential given to me. There is no one goal, one experience, or one accomplishment that can make this happen, but a way of life that enjoys it with rich experiences instead of things and cubicles and kitsch and money. I don’t believe in waiting until I’m 65 to do this. My health is good, my sexual drive is good, my savings is good, my mind is good—the time is now.

After I bought my first pocket digital camera, I would take it with me every time I went out with friends. But after about four years, I noticed I was taking pictures that were just slight variations of ones I already took. There are only so many different ways you can capture the same cast on the same stage with the same backdrop. Same as life. It has become too comfortable, too familiar. It’d be nice to experience something new and challenging.

Alpha Male Of The Month

I need to get more emails like this:

I was flirting with this real cute girl last night. Everything’s going great, so i say, “you seem like the kind of girl who’s a lot of fun… blah blah… you want to grab a drink sometime?” Her response? no bullshit—”that can be arranged.” I immediately thought about your recent post on this issue, and gave her a quick 2 minute verbal lashing asking her why she’s treating me like a fucking business transaction, and why it would have been so goddam difficult for her to say simply, “yes, i’d love to.” Dude i was *seething* inside, i rarely get pissed when i’m running game and know better than to pick fights or scold girls, but this one just had it coming. Told her to beat it, popped a pill and continued hanging with my boys, who were a thousand times more entertaining than the remaining fat girls within eyesight.

I don’t care what the frigid women apologists say, but this girl’s behavior is neither normal nor acceptable. Men with options don’t have to put up with it.

Three Words Recap

Arjewtino – stop touching me
Average Jane – loves the commenters
Boztopia – hair getting shorter
Brunch Bird – heard another rumor
Candy Sandwich – little bit Italian
Circle V – hurry up already
Dagny T – i’m still taller
et cetera – i hear laughing
Genevieve – new lip ring
Heather B – new york state?
I Now Pronounce You – soco and lime
Irina – past life girlfriend
Jay Gatsy – old people’s starbucks
Jewcano – real motorcycle jacket
Jo – sweet sweet voice
Just Going With It – definitely not russian
KassyK – such graceful posture
Kayla – not a stripper
LMNTal – will be back
Mandy – i can tell
MM – most sober one
Pat – reasonable and pragmatic
Roissy – the hottest sideburns
Tex Pundit – The Persian Rug
That’s What She Said – with some dude
Virgle Kent – sister is hizzot
Work in Blogress – exchanged three sentences

…and assorted friends, coworkers, and commenters. Turnout was much bigger than last time for some reason.

Pick-Up Lines For Girls

I’m hesitant to advise girls to approach men. I think it’s a man job and while not always the case, if a girl approaches a man chances are he can do better. This is especially true if she’s approaching you solely based on your looks. There are other prettier girls you could manage to get if you just did a little bit more work. That said, if a cute girl approaches me and I’m feeling too cool for school, I will be more than happy to entertain her interest by trying to get into her pants the same night.

Check out 10 Friendly Pickup Lines For Girls. It is written by a “dating coach.” As a man that has been desired by at least one woman, I feel like I am qualified to analyze these openers.

Openers That Simply Won’t Work

“Don’t you think Batman’s cooler than Superman because he doesn’t have super-powers to fall back on?” Creative but lame. It seems like she is trying too hard. The best type of opener is one that starts a conversation but is so simple that it seems like you just thought of it.

“You’ve got an iPod. Should I get the Nano or the 30 gig?” How about neither? If you are going to pander then why don’t you just ask him who won last night’s basketball game instead.

“This new Snickers bar is fabulous. You’ve got to try it.” This is an insult. Do I look like a person who eats Snickers bars? Besides, the peanuts will flare up the hives that have been with me for exactly four weeks and three days, even though I’m not allergic to peanuts.

Openers That May Work

“Hi.” Hi.

“Do you think that couple over there is on their first date, or what?” This is a good question/routine for when you are already in conversation, but as an opener it seems weird. It would be better if you frame it as a bet: “Me and my girlfriend have a bet about whether that couple is…”

“That’s a cool pocket-watch. Where’d you get it?” Well my dad fought this war, right. During the war he stored this watch in his ass so that he wouldn’t lose it. It has a lot of sentimental value. Hey, where are you goi…

“So, what are you doing here?” This isn’t a bad opener because a guy can answer in a lot of different ways depending on his mood. From the “Drinking away my unhappiness” to the “What are YOU doing here?” to the “Trying to get laid, duh.” But it’s a bit too open-ended and a girl will end up getting “not much” as a typical answer.

Openers That Work

“Can you close my bracelet for me? Can you help with this crossword puzzle answer?” Openers asking for help are very good. Everyone wants to be a hero. My street game opening strategy is also asking for help because that’s the best way to get a girl to stop walking.

“Can I sit with you so I won’t get hit on?” She’s asking you if she can use your man power to protect her from other horny losers. Men like taking on the role as protector.

“I never do this, but I think you’re cute and I got tired of waiting for you to talk to me.” This is a bold approach and only confident girls can pull this off. It’s very good because it calls out the guy for being a beta, and he’s forced to scramble and explain why he’s sitting on his hands. He will overcompensate by showing that he is a strong man capable of pursuing, which is what you wanted him to do all along.

A common girl line that wasn’t mentioned in this article is, “Do I know you from somewhere?” It’s cliche but very effective because by the time you realize that you don’t really know each other, you are already in a conversation and have identified a couple things you have in common.

After you approach a guy, make sure he takes over and leads the interaction. If he remains passive and you have to hold his hand to keep the conversation going, he is a man who will disappoint you sooner than later.

I’m Done, For Now

It’s amazing how productive you can be without having a job, even if you like waking up at 11. Yesterday I finished the second draft and copies will be bound and shipped to my editors after I wake up (is it 11 yet?). It has taken six months to get to this point, more than 200 hours of work. Just to give you an idea of the hardcore-ness…

I will be drinking heavily tonight to celebrate this milestone, and open to being taken advantage of.

Keep Getting Phone Numbers

In the first newsletter I sent out, I wrote about getting phone numbers from girls. An excerpt:

When it’s time to say goodbye and you’ve exhausted your options to take the conversation somewhere else, you want to give the girl an opportunity to show interest and offer her number before you have to do it. You do this by ending the conversation with “It was really nice meeting you” and shutting up. If she does like you, she will squirm and get anxious, and probably make a move. If she doesn’t offer the number outright she may compliment you to encourage you to get it. And even if she doesn’t make any move, you can still get the number if you want. Your options remain open.

The rest of what I wrote was pretty down on getting numbers. I painted it as a consolation prize for not fucking her. You came, you tried, here is a sequence of ten numerals for your troubles that odds are will not result in anything. But even though numbers are not strong, you still must get them every time. I don’t care if you’ve only been talking to a girl for one minute when her friend starts dragging her away—get the number. As long as you want to fuck her, get the number, no exceptions.

Say you are an average player and have a great month where you get ten numbers. Out of those ten, about four will return your first call (if you are really good, you may hit eight callbacks.) Out of those four, you may get two or three girls out on a first date. Out of those two or three first dates you will probably get one notch if your middle and late game is good. So if you are average, it takes you ten numbers to one notch. And when I say average I mean to say that you actually have game and some alpha qualities. Do you now see why it’s important to get numbers? Behind every number is a chance for a notch. In my scenario there is a 10% chance, but even if you have zero game and there is a 1% chance that the number will lead to sex, it’s still worth it.

If you are still not convinced…

1. Calling girls takes very little time.
You call her up, leave a message, and if she calls back, you spend 5-10 minutes talking to her. There is also a low opportunity cost because there are not many ways talking to a girl for five minutes on an off night could be better spent. But if you are at a club for three hours on a typical Saturday night, and you talk to a girl for one hour who turns out to be married, you just cost yourself 33% of very valuable approach time.

2. It tightens your phone game. Ask any girl about some of the things guys have done when it comes to the phone and you will see why it is a skill you must master. Go out there, collect dozens of phone numbers over the course of six months, and just get your phone game up to a respectable level. There is an optimal way to work the phone and unless you start using your experience now to improve with girls you have average interest in, you will cost yourself some more important notches down the road. You don’t want to be calling your dream girl without any clue of what to do or say.

Even now, when I’m out there I still get phone numbers of girls I’m not crazy about. I’m playing the game, not trying to get married. Plus unless you keep your game in practice, it will atrophy. Ask any guy who’s in a relationship if you don’t believe me. If she doesn’t call me back then that’s fine, no loss, but if she does then I’m going to get her out somewhere and take one of my Durex Extra Sensitive condoms along for the ride. At long as this girl is cute doesn’t and fuck up my CPN, I’m down. And who knows, maybe I’ll find out she’s a special little snowflake.

La Dolce Vita

la-dolce-vita.jpg

Don’t think that safety is being locked up in one’s home. Don’t do what I did. I’m too serious to be an amateur, but not enough to be a professional. A more miserable life is better, believe me, than an existence protected by an organized society where everything is calculated, everything is perfect.

Steiner (Alain Cuny)

La Dolce Vita is a movie that follows Marcello, a gossip rag writer who lives a fast-paced life off Via Venito in Rome. He has a pretty girlfriend, interesting friends, access to beautiful women, a decent job, and a dream of being a respected writer. “Now that’s the lifestyle I wouldn’t mind living,” I thought, halfway through the movie.

But things weren’t so great beneath the surface. His relationship with his smothering girlfriend was draining him, most of his friends were vapid parasites, the beautiful women had nothing to offer him but their beauty, and his job was wholly unfulfilling. And when his most respected friend—the only person who was in the position to help him—committed suicide, Marcello simply gave up and became the type of upper-class garbage that he wrote about, defeated by bitterness and cynicism.

This movie does not tie things up for you in a neat little package. It does not tell you what the sweet life is, what is right or wrong, and who is good or bad, but it does make you think about your own life. Am I living the life that I want? Is chasing my dream going to be worth it? Does it even matter if I reach success, whatever that is? Like life, the movie does not provide you with clear answers.

What did it mean when Steiner, the most successful character in the movie, kills himself and his children? Then I read that quote up top again. While the movie had many themes, I think the main one is entrapment. The main characters are trapped in some way by their desires or their lot, unable or unwilling to get out. So the sweet life is about being free? That’s part of it, but sweetness for me will not be sweetness for you. It’s the freedom to go for long-term meaning instead of short-term thrills, of not letting yourself to be held back, and of avoiding comfort. It’s the opposite of how most of us are living now, and this movie was made nearly fifty years ago. I suppose that makes sense because the human condition does not change.

Marcello thought being a respected writer would make his life better, but it’s really the attempt, trying to be something, that would have made the difference in his life. He was looking at the end result, comparing himself to other people, when he missed out on the journey to becoming one, the most important sort of travel that a human can make.

Virginia Tech Killings

When something like this happens you want to get on your soapbox and talk about guns, war, culture, and violence. But don’t use these victims to push your politics.

Back in November an acquaintance of mine died in a car accident when she got rear-ended. This is what I wrote.

VK today had some thoughts about death. Brunch Bird gives her respects. And so does RCR, mm, and Jo.

Rehab Happy Hour

coffee-bunny.jpg
Photo credit

Who: Arjewtino, KassyK, Virgle Kent, me

When: Friday, April 20 @ 7PM

Where: Mezza Luna (two doors down from Science Club)

Technically, I’m not a host this time. I tried to suggest Front Page again but I was pushed aside by the other members of the hosting committee. “We’ll let you know what we decide and then you can post about it on your blog there,” they said. Little do they know that I control the entire DC metropolitan blog scene.

:evil:

Before Sex, After Sex

On the surface, it looks like sex ruins things—the dynamic changes, the energy dissipates, and the tension disappears. Sometimes the relationship lasts, but most of the time, it doesn’t.

Before sex, it’s all about showing up on time and smelling nice. The sexual tension does the rest. It helps you idealize your partner to keep you motivated and on task. I can’t be the only guy to think I’m falling in love with a girl only to lose all interest after I catch my breath. While this tension will never be as high as the moment before that first penetration, it can be maintained at a healthy level with spontaneity, unpredictability, and creativity—qualities that only come as a result of effort.

Effort. I think this culture used to be about putting in effort and hard-work back when our parents were coming up, but it’s been replaced with expectation. All of us are trained to expect things. We expect to afford a nice car and house for going to college. We expect to be entertained every day . We expect the dead person to be scraped off the road in a timely manner so that we can make yoga class. The problem with expectation is that it leads to entitlement, and entitlement leads to a lack of effort. If both of you are not putting in more effort after sex, things will fade out.

The big issue with out generation is not with getting laid (we’re in a golden era for that), but with what we believe a relationship should be. He believes beauty queens should fall from the sky if he is earning six figures and she believes Prince Charming and Funny and Ambitious should sweep her into a McMansion because she is well-read and has pretty nails. “I put in this work to get where I am, so I am entitled to an amazing partner for life. I shouldn’t have to do more.” It doesn’t work like that. Guys: you are going to have to bring more to the table than flashing your extra glossy business card and offering to take girls to expensive dinners. Girls: it’s going to take more than just looking pretty and sending text messages.

People want the best without putting in work, without sacrificing, without caring. We expect to get more than we are putting in, but ask anyone in a happy marriage how it’s really done and they will tell you it’s all about the effort. You have to care and you have to try, every single day. Good luck finding someone here under the age of 30 who understands that concept. Instead of working towards real change to increase their value, most twenty-somethings instead whine about how life isn’t fair and how bad their luck is, as if there is a concerted effort by the overlords of our universe to keep them single and unhappy. You are responsible for your romantic happiness, and no one else. If there is a problem then get off your ass and do something about it, no matter how many years it takes to solve.

But even if you are willing to put in that effort, there is no guarantee you will get back it in return. The expectation mindset is so perverse and widespread in this country that you will quickly get frustrated at the inability of your romantic interests to put in an amount of work you think is necessary for something to last. It looks like we’ve gotten to the point where modern dating is about experiencing a lot of disappointment until you finally run into someone who gives a damn and shows it.

Present Factoids That Counter Thesis

I know I told you I’m not going to give you another book update, but I lied.

I have edited 142 of 193 pages. Once this is in book format, I’m guessing it will be around 125 pages. Here is how the chapters are looking:

Introduction 1
Pre-game 5
Internal Game 7
Early Game 19
Middle Game 104
Late Game 142
End Game 168
Appendix 171

If you are wondering why early game is so big, I’m going to guess you are a girl. Early game is, by far, the hardest part of game. The next two weeks may be slow as I wrap up the editing process.

Today is my last day of work (for a long time, I hope). In the next week or so I’m going to talk about what I will be doing for the next year or two, why I’m doing it, and what I had to do to get here.

Some site news: I’m rolling in advertisements, similar to what you see on DCB (example page). I’ll try not to make them too annoying. There are also text link ads on the right which have been up for a month now.

I leave you with this graphic. It shows the life cycle of comments to a typical blog post.

Comment no. 5: Devolve into irrelevant threads
Comment no. 9: Impugn character of thesis author

I always find it interesting how just one comment can hijack a thread and take it down a strange path.

Maybe Date Rape Does Happen

A man takes a Russian girl named Tatiana out on a bar date. She’s having “a really great time” with “good body language.” All signs point towards him getting laid, to hearing loud cries of “Da” as petite Tatiana reaches sexual climax. Then she goes to the bathroom. To empty her bladder? Maybe—but most likely to fix herself up for the guy she’s about to have intimacy with. While she’s gone, guess what he does.

He slips a drug in her drink.

The bartenders see it, take back the drink, and catch up with her outside while she’s having a smoke. While they are telling her about what happened, another bartender sees the guy do it again. I don’t know if I’m more mad at him for trying to drug his date or for just being so sloppy.

This is how I would do it: I would be sitting next to her, talking, and then tell her to “look over there.” She’d look and then I would drop the pill in her drink while making a “BOOP” sound effect. Then when she turns back, I would stare at the ceiling like I saw a bird, and urge her to drink quickly before all the ice melts. I predict a 100% success rate.

Last Tuesday, Judge Bouliane sentenced [Tatiana's date], who had no prior criminal history, to one year in jail but suspended six months of that. Szlamnik entered jail voluntarily in January after agreeing to plead guilty to transporting and furnishing a narcotic rather than to a crime directly related to a planned sexual assault. He is due to be released in May.

Date in jail for drugging beer

If the energy this guy spent obtaining pills and figuring how to deliver them was put into teasing, telling stories, and making a good effort to venue change to his place, sex would have probably happened. Now instead of pounding a hot Russian girl, he’s in jail getting pounded on by large black men. Game, not drugs.

:jailhump:

Previously: Date Rape Druggings Are A Myth