All posts by Roosh

Nightclub Bottle Service

Steve sent me an excellent link called Bottle Service: America’s Nightlife Nightmare

In the 2000’s we have seen a corporatization of nightclubs. Now when you go to a nighclub everyone is some kind of corporate jerkoff. Interesting people are no longer found in Nightclubs. The artists, writers, intellectuals, underground DJ’s etc have been effectively priced out of the nightclub with bottle service. The only people that can afford it are the Investment bankers, real estate types, and Celebs (and of course, underworld figures). That is why when you walk into a club you see so many striped shirts that you think you are seeing some kind of 3-D optical illusion. The funny thing is that these are the type of guys who would have never gotten into a club in the old days (nights) when you were picked out because of how you looked, dressed, if you had connections, or by reputation. So today, clubs are full of people that normally would have been standing in line in nights gone by.

optical-illusion.jpgGo read the whole thing.

I was daydreaming the other week about what I would do if I pulled $20,000 a month. I fantasized about going to the hottest DC club of the moment and dropping a grand on two bottles of Grey Goose. I’d invite my friends and we’d drink and one of these glamorous DC girls would come by my table and flirt with me and I’d pour her a super strong one. Then maybe I’d get laid after taking her out to dinner and she may even return my calls for a second performance and a meaningful relationship. It would be all be so real and beautiful.

But you know what? I couldn’t look at my face in the mirror if I had a cost per notch in the four digits. Shit, even three digits. My cost per notch this year is… I swear to God… under twenty bucks. When you know the real value of pussy it makes absolutely no sense to overpay. It’s like taking your car to the dealership for repairs.

If I was rich the only different thing I’d do is step up from rail vodka to Absolut. Like anyone can tell the difference between expensive vodkas once they’re mixed with juice anyway.

Worst Email I’ve Ever Received

Previously: Best Email I’ve Ever Received.

I’ve been hanging out at Lucky Bar on Thursdays lately because of their budget $2 mixed drink happy hour. I thought it would be a good place to invite this girl who initially emailed me to say she thought my blog was funny. She didn’t show up, but a few days after she sent me this email..

hey new friend. so i just moved and have been sans internet for the past week and it looks like i missed out on a super sweet happy hour special, and an opportunity for you to make a sorry attempt at getting into my pants. well if you and your posse are down for a do-over, i’ll see if i can make room for you this thursday.

I know she is just trying to be funny, but how can any self-respecting alpha reply to this email? Any type of reply would be admitting that yes, I indeed would have tried to make a sorry attempt to get into her pants. But that may not have been the case. A week before I got this email…

were you at lucky bar tonight….? I thought i saw a greasy haired fellow who looked like you.

She was just trying to be funny too, but that kind of makes me wonder how this type of “game” gets out there. It would me like writing, “Hey I saw your fine slutty ass last night at the bar but didn’t get a chance to get up on that booty heh.”

I’m not saying these two girls want to bang me, but what good does this type of tone accomplish? Am I laughing?

(I am definitely not smiling or laughing.)

Now here are emails from two different girls in Brazil that made me smile.

hahahahahaha.i loved the video!!!! i can see how busy you are! hehe

and..

Here the summer is over… which doesn’t mean absolutely nothing!! It’s still sunny and hot 🙂 Tomorrow I’ll have an açai for you, ok?

Come on, it’s not that hard.

Hmmm

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Postscript: It’s time to bring some reason into the discussion..

Just because the mermaid has a mouth doesn’t mean she is going to let you put something in it. Chance are though the seduction will be easy like in the tom hanks movie and you will get a blowjob here or there. But I don’t think it will be blowjobs on demand like most men are imagining. How about if she doesn’t have blowjob skill?

For the reverse mermaid, it is true that you have vagina and anus and since it’s controlled by a fish brain you can have access to it all you want through rape or whatever. But keep in mind when you have sex you have to hold onto her scaly skin. And she probably will smell like fish. You wouldn’t want to hit that everyday… though from the back maybe it’s easier.

The key point no one mentioned is that you will get very lonely. Assuming the mermaid speaks your language, you can keep yourself busy with her and maybe even develop something serious.

I pick A.

The Big Leagues

Here is a video I produced starring me, my little brother, and his school buddy. Safe for work…


Extreme Big League Competition from Roosh V on Vimeo.

Mansformation

The Seduction Bible is throwing a weekend retreat / seminar in the Dominican Republic this summer.

Mike and I believe that too much focus has been placed on becoming a pickup artist, and not enough focus has been placed on becoming the kind of man who naturally attracts women. We know that changing your life has to happen from the inside out. The only way to truly be happy and successful is to be “your best self.”

You can read about it here.

This is a nice change from the typical $1500 weekend “workshops” where you pay to watch some guy and his friends try to pick up girls in bars while they “push you into sets.”

In Cordoba I was thinking of throwing a weekend nightlife tour where you’d pay me to take you to the most crowded (annoying) clubs to drink and get brutally rejected by beautiful Argentine girls. When I go back I’ll see if there’s any demand for that.

Also, I did a guest post this weekend at TSB… When A Girl Picks Up The Phone.

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When Your Jokes Are Unacceptable

A few European embassies invited me and my friends for an open house on Saturday, and by invite I mean I saw a flyer somewhere. Our last embassy visit was Hungary and its 100-deep line of people waiting for a free ladle of goulash (it had meat). I waited patiently with my muscle freak sidekick, and the conversation got on dreadlocks. I made the comment that it’s interesting to see blonde Europeans with dreadlocks, since it puts their fine hair in an unnatural state not achievable without wax. Then he says, “Eww, dreadlocks are grimy and just dirty.” Right behind us was a woman with grimy dreadlocks down to her ass.

We kept running into the same people at different embassies. Early on I noticed an Asian woman whose upper body and face was the result of severe burns. You feel real sympathy for a few seconds and then you get on with your life. Me, muscle freak, and another guy was feasting on our goulash where, for a reason I forget, muscle freak shouts, “It’s not like you are deformed or anything.” At that very moment, the Asian woman walks behind us with her friends. She seemed like the type that already hated black men.

slovakia.jpgOutside waiting for the shuttle bus, muscle freak was joking about being handicapped. He then simulated a limp, one that was so good I accused him of practicing in his bedroom. As soon as he was done, a woman older than 75-years-old with a limp and a cane walked by.

As for what happened in these three situations, nothing. If you’re big and black, you can pretty much do whatever you want. It’s almost like a super power.

The Beaches Of Uruguay

My newest exciting travel article is on the beach cities of Punta del Este and Punta del Diablo in Uruguay. I’ll guess you’ve never heard of Uruguay so this is your chance to get to know mini-Argentina.

The nightlife in Punta is extremely expensive and hard to deal with. Mobs of rich men and their model girlfriends (still with oversized glasses) swarm the entrances to famous clubs such as Crobar and Tequila in the “La Barra” club district a few miles away, accessible by taxi or all-night bus. You’re not getting in unless you show up way early, know someone, or are willing to pay a painful cover/bribe. So it’s not surprising that most people go to La Barra but not to club, and instead hang out next to their cars and drink on the streets. Either way this scene combines the worst of what you’d expect from a “hot” nightlife zone…

Punta del Diablo gets kinder words. You can read the whole thing here.

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For more on Uruguay, check out my Uruguay travel guide.

What Is Life Experience?

Why do young Americans try to prove that they are more mature than they are? I’m talking about the type that will not hesitate to tell you situations they’ve been in that made them grow “faster” than their peers.

I had a coworker who would always say he’s worked since 16. Or this girl would always tell me she’s lived abroad and is “different” than girls her age, and another who kept bringing up the painful child divorce and how she had to go to school and work at the same time (the horror!). With all that experience I’m surprised they missed visits to countries where 10-year-olds work on the street for food while living in garbage bag tents next to the bus station. I think in that case they’d find their experience to be pretty damn timid.

I’ve done a couple interesting things but it’s never crossed my mind to use that as proof of my value as a person. Your past doesn’t speak for you—you speak for you. Speaking up your past is the fastest way to get labeled as a “douche” if you’re a guy and a “nerd” or “drama queen” if you’re a girl. It’s like that guy who puts his BMW key chain on the bar in a lame attempt to get attention from females.

In the end there is no substitute for the number of days you’ve lived, whether you spent that “living” abroad in some other country during college or not. There’s the claim of experience and maturity and then there’s who you are. One you can lie about, the other you can’t.

100% Bangable

I have to clarify some things about me that have been going around in this paparazzi post. Especially this photo..

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First the 100% Huggable Care Bear shirt. I don’t believe that simply advertising myself as huggable (as opposed to, say, well-endowed or extremely wealthy) gets me an unlimited supply of poon. I will continue wearing it even though there is yellow stainage in the arm pit area.

Second, the floral pink umbrella. In Rio during Carnival I accidentally stole a girl’s potted plant costume hat. Here’s the hat…

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The next day it was raining so I needed an umbrella. What’s cool about most cities in South America is that if it starts raining all these umbrella salesmen come out of the woodwork to sell you umbrellas (duh) and trash bag ponchos. I bought one in Rio that matched both the hat and the festivities as well, and not because of anything potentially related to a deep deep latent homosexuality.

It’s unfortunate that the Care Bear shirt matches ravishingly with my pink umbrella, but it’s more unfortunate that this town is so starchy that people stared and made low volume disparaging comments. Yeah but they’re too scared to say it to MY FACE… except for this one guy but he was pretty big so I pretended not to hear.

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Postscript: Funny, when I grabbed the photo from pervert meathead’s blog, the filename was gayhairy.jpg.

My Life Is A Joke

On the weekends the bus ends at 2:30am but I don’t get to the metro (subway) station until 3:30. It’s an expensive $11 cab ride home. So I hook up my bike on the front of the bus when I head out, lock it up at the metro station, go out and do my thing, then hop on the bike on the way back for the three mile ride home. Even though I stay on the sidewalk it’s stupid dangerous and I get yelled at by drunk Mexicans from their cars who mock me and my late-night mode of transportation. I raise my fist and yell back, “Fuck you I used to be a scientist!!” By the time I get home at 4am I’m drenched in sweat and have to stand in front of a fan for 10 minutes before I can go to sleep.

I was out where this older woman was gawking at me. She makes her move while I was eating delicious strawberry cupcakes. The same night she takes me out to drinks and a light meal and I reach in my pocket and slide the lubricated condom around the wrapper getting ready for the only thing I’m really good at in life. Towards the end of the night when it’s time to bang she says, “I really like you and I think we should wait to build something. We’ll email each other every day until I come back in three weeks.”

cowboyhat.jpgI got a number of a young, pretty Italian girl. I called her and for some reason she picked up. I don’t remember the last time a girl picked up the phone when I first called. SHE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO PICK UP. I completely blanked. The hamster in my brain just shrugged. One second, two seconds of silence. Three seconds!! Eternity! Out of anything in the world I could have said, it ended it being, “Oh girls don’t usually pick up the phone so I was about to leave a message.” My wall has a hole.

I had an interview of sorts for a slave labor freelance writing gig. I begged the guy for an afternoon appointment but he preferred 11am, which meant I had to wake up at 8:30 to eat and get ready for the 90 minute commute. The night before I couldn’t go to sleep until 5am. I set two alarms but must have cut them both off while in a sleepwalking state because when I wake up the clock says 10am. I emailed the guy, “Sorry I didn’t come through,” then I went back to sleep and got up at my normal time of noon.

I wonder if I’ll ever reminisce about these days when I’m filthy rich and hand feeding my perfect assed Brazilian bride chocolates wrapped in gold foil.

How To Pick Up Girls For Real

I can’t tell you how important not giving a shit is. I never met a successful player who cared. The only problem is it’s hard to fake.

Never, ever covet another guy’s girl. You have no idea what he had to go through to get or not get what he is getting.

If you don’t have a method to screen girls, you’re wasting your time.

They’re always more interesting and beautiful before sex. Fantasizing about her before sex will do you no good.

Ice cream dates are cute and sometimes fun, but if you’re going for speed, always get drinks. Just one drink increases the chance of getting laid by at least 50%. Alcohol is sex fuel, whether you like it or not.

Approaching is just one way to get laid, but the one where all you need is the clothes on your back. Always keep your eyes and ears open.

If you can’t close, you’re an entertainer.

You’re not living up to your potential. If you are not approaching at least ten girls a week, you never will.

There’s a girl you like in the bar. What’s your line? If you don’t have one then get one.

Don’t go out if you’re in a bad mood. You’re wasting your time and the girl’s.

You should never compliment a girl, until that time your brain tells you that complimenting her will you in her pants faster. It may take a while for that to happen.

The better you get, the less new notches you get. Your rolodex becomes huge. Sex on demand is all it’s cracked up to be.

If you want average, plain girls, then fit in and go along with current hot trends.

You should be able to talk for hours without stopping. If a crowd wouldn’t form, you’re not interesting. There’s ways to become interesting, but it’s probably not by what you’re doing now.

You don’t need a car, a job, a place, or money to fuck above-average girls. I’m fascinated that some girls have a type that can be described as unemployed but interesting bum.

If there is a possibility you are meeting up with a chick, take two condoms. If not, take one. If you leave your house and forgot a condom, turn back.

There is something you need to fix if there is a girl you are very attracted to but your feet don’t start moving in her direction.

There has to be a moment in the interaction where you think you might lose her, and vice versa. Not caring if things go wrong is attractive.

It’s easier to peel a banana from the bottom than the top.

You have up to a week before you things will go stale. After that it’s probably done.

If you see a guy with a hot girl, it wouldn’t hurt to watch him for a couple seconds. You may notice something.

Be like the soap opera. Master the art of drama and girls will keep tuning in.

Anger is either a huge turn-off or strong aphrodisiac, depending on when and how you show it.

Some girls decide within 3 seconds if she wants to have sex with you. And it’s not only based on your looks. Your stories, experiences, and attitude are broadcasted (or not) as you move through the world.

You must have standards. They can be low but there has be situations where you say, “No I’m not doing it.” In the long run being selective rewards you with more.

You don’t have to dance if you don’t want to, but it sure makes things move a lot faster.

I generally don’t take pictures of girls I like before I get them. I think it sends the wrong message.

If every girl liked the type of guys seen in GQ and Details, the guys you are trying to emulate, I would never get laid.

Once a girl gives up hope that you will get into a relationship with her, she’ll let you fuck her without having to put in any effort.

You’re only as good as your last approach.

Some nights girls throw themselves at you, while other nights you can’t get a beast to give you eye contact. Not everything can be logically explained. Consistency is the hardest part of game.

It’s a pretty good sign when a girl asks you to take her number, but it doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to get anything. There are no guarantees in pick-up, and you’ll be surprised at the girls who do come through.

Always let a girl ask you for your name first.

Your goal should always be at least a make-out, and never the number.

Being a risk-taker or adventurer seems to make up for lack of money or status.

If I’m lazy I like to wait for girls to give me eye contact before approaching. I usually go home empty handed when I’m lazy.

Her friends absolutely hate you, and will do everything in their power, during and after the pick up, to make sure you don’t get it. Having a cool wingman is the only thing that helps.

Girls say I have nice hair, but I wash it once a week… with conditioner. I don’t remember the last time I used shampoo. If a girl likes you and isn’t sure why, she’ll rationalize all sorts of amusing bullshit.

Your game will never stop changing. I remember when I used to grind on girls and dance more than I talked, when I used to pick up girls in clubs and fail miserably in bars. When your game changes, so should your venue selection, or your results will go down.

Don’t jerk off before you go out.

The best way to get her to stop is to gently grab her forearm.

The less educated she is, the more direct you can be. The more educated you are, the harder it is to believe that game works.

I don’t know if I give girls orgasms or not because I never ask. The more I care, the less likely there will be a repeat.

You should have a staple of quick one-liners that make most girls laugh. If you don’t have tested material then you’re just going by luck.

It’s easier to pick up when you are the exotic one. If you look around and all the guys look like you, you might want to try somewhere else.

Some women don’t know how to flirt, so when they insult you or give you advice they are trying to show affection. It’s up to you whether you find that acceptable.

Witty girls who like the back-and-forth banter get old really fast. Sexy and feminine girls never get old.

You’ll bounce back if you care enough.

You may naturally evolve to the point where the more interest you show in a girl, the more she likes you, even though before she’d run away.

Sometimes the best way to get into a girl’s place is to say nothing and just follow her in.

You should have a plan for the most frequent situations, whether it’s approaching, comebacks to common questions, asking girls on dates, getting into the bedroom, and so on. Already know what you’re going to do before you do it.

If you’re running out of things to say, either hang out with a player or read a book.

It’s a myth to think of a certain girl as “end game.” You just age, get tired, and pick one.

I regret I didn’t try harder to get more naked pictures and video. You won’t know unless you ask.

There will be some really bad days, where nothing seems to go right and you forget things you mastered before. It’s okay to beat yourself up about it every now and then.

No guy gets their dream girl, unfortunately. How can she be your dream if you can get her?

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

Best Email I’ve Ever Received

From a girl in Canada..

So I gotta say….since I first emailed you, I’ve been perusing your blog. If you are in person anything like what you make yourself out to be on your page, you have become somewhat mythical to me.

I know no one in real life that actually has the attitude towards women and sex that you seem to. No one that actually lives and breathes as the seeming horndog Casanova that you come off as. To me, you are the movie character I watch but would never meet in my day to day. You are the mystery guy some whiny chick writes in to Cosmo to whine about. You are the rock star persona that every sad-ass frontman-wannabe loser on some ridiculous reality show wishes he was but will never, ever come close to.

But I have to wonder – could you possibly be all that and still be real?

Flattery will get this girl everywhere even if it would be a one night sex adventure to remember, but this wouldn’t work on girls. They are used to it to the tune of a million daily direct and indirect sex offerings, whether they are pretty or not.

I consider her email fun flirting and something I’d positively respond to, so why do American girls serve up this cocky banter bullshit to “flirt” with me and my friends? I don’t know, but one thing I learned a long time ago is if you keep doing something that doesn’t work, STOP DOING IT.

Here is another email I got from a girl.

The last time I wrote to you I told you that I was crazy about this guy, I was super super super nice to him and in return he didn’t treat me very well. I asked you what I should do and you said that I should leave him because he was just going to sleep with me once and then never talk to me again. Well, after 3 months of dating I did sleep with him (he was dating other women at the time, I wasn’t). This all happened last summer.

A few months later he fell in love with me and stopped dating other women, I was sooo happy. We’re so great together, always laughing and joking around-I’m a really easy going gal and I worked really hard to make him feel cared for/loved. I worked even harder to earn his trust and to let him know know I’d never hurt him. Anyways, we were together for 11 months and then I asked him if he’d ever marry me. He told me he doesnt believe in marriage and didn’t want it but that he did want me to move in with him.

Well, I’m a traditional kind of gal…I don’t believe in living with someone unless you’re married (plus my family is very traditional as well). So, I told him that if he doesn’t want what I want then we should go our seperate ways, because I do want to get married. It’s frustrating!!! Anyways, we’ve gone our seperate ways, which is sad because we were so great together.

But what’s a gal to do? I mean, I put in sooo much work just to keep him happy and in return I didn’t ask for much, but it didn’t work. I mean, shouldn’t he want to marry me just so he doesnt lose me? I told him that I’m going to start dating other men, I don’t care to date anyone else BUT I hoping that it gets a reaction out of him and if it doesnt then maybe I’ll meet a nice guy who does want to get married.

A part of me thinks that I should give in and just move in with him because it feels right and he and I were so happy together. BUT another part of me is scared…I think he might leave me because he doesn’t want to marry me (sometimes I think that he doesn’t even know what he wants or has no clue what he has) and then I think I’ll have wasted precious years trying to find a guy that does want to get married.

OK, that’s enough venting for now…

So what do you think, is this guy ever going to marry me or should I move on? Is there anything I could do to make him want to marry me?

My first instinct is to say it doesn’t matter what you do, he will not marry you. But I don’t think that is the advice she wants to hear.

Sweet Alizee

I never get tired of Alizee compilations featuring her multicultural ass and flawless face. I think the song is about her wanting to be a producer, but who cares really.

I’d jerk off to this if porn didn’t desensitize me to where I need to see penetration to get aroused.

Postscript: Here’s Round 2, singing in English. Like the previous clip, click over to YouTube and hit “watch in high quality” for better.. sound.