The best way to lose your fear over something is to desensitize yourself to it. We can talk psychological mumbo jumbo all day and doctors can prescribe you the best medications in the world, but the only way to get rid of demons is to face demons.
Are you afraid of approaching? Approach a lot.
Are you afraid of heights? Look down from a tall building, time how long you can stand it, then try again a day later for a longer time.
I used to be a hypochondriac. You’ll pick up on that if you read A Dead Bat In Paraguay, where at one point I was certain I was dying of rabies. If I had a headache I’d think it was brain cancer. I had panic attacks about having HIV. I used to have flare ups every month or two, but in the past year I haven’t had a single episode. It stopped. The reason is that I addressed the root cause of hypochondria: a fear of death. I read articles involving death and I meditated on how my own death would be like. I still don’t want to die, but the idea doesn’t scare like me it did before.
There is one thing you can do to help you face all your fears, your hypochondria, and your anxiety: a weekend bang mission. This is when you fly alone to a new city in order to get laid at all costs. Let’s take a look at what this entails:
- A flight
- Exploration into the unknown
- Massive amounts of rejection
- Possibly getting an exotic illness
- Threats from local men who don’t like you hitting on their women
- Possible failure at your ultimate goal
A bang mission is a microcosm of a man’s life. All the bad things that can happen to you in a year of normal living can happen in this one weekend. Your ego is bombed, your self is questioned, and your fears are grinded into your face. To top if off, you’re alone without any social support. Bang missions are so tough on your mind and body that it will likely take you several days just to recover from them. In an age where classic forms of masculinity are being shamed into obsolescence, bang missions are one of the few remaining ways that a man can test his ability, face his demons, and have a valuable experience that will remain with him for life.
You probably have some issues right now. You have anxiety. You have self-esteem problems. You have self-doubt. It’s hard to avoid developing these problems when living in a culture controlled by ideologies that marginalize the role of men in society. Instead of paying $250 an hour for a blue pill psychiatrist or taking mind altering drugs that don’t address the root problem, I prescribe four weekend bang missions for you in the next six months. Your problems will lessen, your character will strengthen, and you may even get laid. There’s not much more to ask for.Tweet Follow @rooshv
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couple of questions, anyone can answer. one, how much does a typical bang mission cost? and two, how many days should it last to be effective? I’d like to do one soon.
I have to say that the benefits of any bang trip I did always came after I got back home. The more exotic the location the more it expands your comfort zone which is essential to personal growth. Once you get back and game in your home city then its like playing a game on easy mode after you’ve playing it on hard.
I fully endorse your idea. This is just a cheaper alternative for those who don’t have a lot of money. You could go to a nearby city by driving or getting on a train. For example, go from Washington D.C. to Baltimore, San Diego to Los Angeles, or Chicago to Milwaukee or vice versa. An even cheaper version if you live in a big metropolitan area is simply visit a different neighborhood or a different scene. An alternative cheaper version for those you live in rural areas is to go from one county to another.
Roosh, you’re turning out to be my fav game blogger. While the other game gurus over intellectualize it , you describe it using words that everyone can understand. I mean, you live what you preach.
This is pretty much the best a man can do for himself. I imagine that’s how it was many, many years ago when men were free to roam the world and bang whomever they wanted. Before governments started stepping in and doing what they do best — appeasing the women.
The only problem is that it’s freaking tough to meet and bang a chick all in the same weekend. You better make sure you get all your logistics sorted out for night time pulls. Also visiting a nice feminized country (i.e., Finland) wouldn’t hurt either.
Nevertheless, it’s a great exercise every man should definitely do.
This, and ayahuasca.
Great point…it’s one of the last forms of true adventure left available to us in this world. Entering a new world alone, meeting new characters, facing daunting challenges, being confronted with the fine line between success and failure…it’s all there, and that’s precisely why it’s so important.
hell yeah dude. i live in texas and i got tired of the same shit. decided to go to some place where nobody id run into knew me. i used a fake name, fake age when appropriate… started with fort worth, then dallas, houston, austin, hell even on the border for a straight month. as i checked out each city my world got bigger, even scary things didnt seem scary anymore. and women stopped seeming so novel… i realized that pretty gals are dime a dozen.
and now when i talk about this city and that city and i tell them that i did it for fun and not business, it makes their pussy moist and swollen. they think im some sort of badass and a rare type of dude or something… hey whatever works.
Roosh, great insight. Appreciate you sharing this kind of stuff
As always, your writing is crisp and the humor, dry and delicious. This is a dry martini of men’s blogs.
The bit about your hypochondria is hilarious, and that hits home too. I think it’s really common in intelligent men who become educated in the pathologies of the body. Your therapeutic prescription is spot-on, and will be filled and re-filled in 2013.
Exclamation point on cockblocking from local men. I am in brazil and was dancing with two girls and just out of a sudden a guy just comes up and tries to start a fight with me..another time a promoter pulls a girl away from me…the cockblocking is like nothing I have ever seen before….
pff you make it sound like it is a fucking though thing to do. But in fact what is more fun than going to another city and flirt with the ladies? That’s nor therapy, are you fucking kidding me? It’s what you do after you have done the though therapy like things like i dunno not eating french fries.
I could almost hear the theme from Mission Impossible as I was reading this post… Solid stuff.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
When you guys go to a bar or club how often do you go home with the girl to her place instead of yours?
The root cause of approach anxiety is not just a fear of rejection, but a fear of being embarrassed in front of people you might see again. At its core it’s a fear of causing permanent damage to one’s reputation, which is a perfectly legitimate fear – depending on the context, however.
If you’re in a small town of 300 people, it’s wholly understandable why you might be more conservative and guarded when it comes to approaching.
So if you’re a ruralite, move to a major metropolis; if you’re an urbanite, drive to the closest medium-to-large sized city and do approaches there.
Removing yourself from your “backyard” will dampen your approach anxiety. Like Roosh says, the early stages of confronting a fear will be mentally and emotionally bruising, but you’ll eventually realize (assuming that you’re not being a total creeper) that approaching women is really not that big of a deal. You’ll then have that mindset wherever you roam.
Just clicked on the link at the end of this article. Realized that my previous comment unwittingly summarized what Roosh says there.
Experience trumps all.. Bravo Roosh!
[...] Bang Missions Are Therapy [...]
Awesome Roosh! High quality stuff! Best of the manosphere right here.
Bang or no bang, it´s taking the trip and making the effort that makes you a real man.
Yeah. Sometimes it is painful to admit, because we avoid what we fear alot, but deep down you can feel it. Spot on Roosh. I would imagine some of this comes from growing up in a society that coddles the youth and they are rewarded without merit for everything. Dont worry mom and dad will fix it rather than making you man up yourself. Take the Austrians for example.
Instead of having a christmas where all is merry and even shithead kids get what they want, they also have a night of torment where the kids get hit by whips from the Krampus. Gotta face those fears if you wanna grow.
Haha Turner funny you should mention that- I grew up in Austria and my mom was just giving me shit the other day about how scared I used to get when Krampus came around (really just my dad or a neighbor in a devil mask)…hiding behind pianos and crying and shit. Never thought of it as a toughening-up event but you may be right.
In my formative years I was a touring musician playing in
clubs & bars. Every 3-5 days we’d go to a new town,
check into a hotel, play the club till it closes.
On our breaks we’d try to pick up women and
bring them back to the hotel with us after the show.
We also kept score:
who’s getting the most tail,
who’s getting the least,
who’s got the blueballs award (longest time with nothing).
Basically the band I were running bang missions full-time for months at a time. Nothing special about this particular band -
this is pretty much the life of any touring musician at the club level.
If this were a good substitute for therapy,
touring musicians would be the most stable and
well-adjusted people you’d ever meet …
Do you really think they are?
the whole point is going alone though, that’s probably the most important aspect
Aren’t guys who have to constantly seek advice/buy books in order to learn how to lie and manipulate so they can actually get laid the ultimate betas?? I mean, grow a pair!!
no, emma, no
Emma, go back to the huffington post and your cats. There is nothing but truth here, and given your gender, that is the last thing you want to hear.
What’s the Huffington Post?? And no, no cats. I was actually genuinely curious.
Yeah…great idea. What happens when I come home $1000 poorer, no lays, with a busted nose from some white knight, and no lays?
Soul-crushing despair, that’s what. It’s all fine and good to say “go and test yourself” up and until the point where you are tested and found wanting. Then you shouldn’t have done it in the first place, you were foolhardy.
[Roosh: No, you're right. It's better not even to try and remain a loser with anxiety problems until you die. Enjoy your sex bot.]
Great advice to go on a regular bang weekend but even better would be to take a long trip if you have the possibility. It’s like having many bang weekend in a row and this way you really desensitize yourself to the opinions of others. The last night in the city being the most important.
Instead of taking it easy and going to bed early to prepare for the next journey, you should still go out and approach like a motherf**ker. Who cares what people think of you? You leaving the next day and probably never see them again.
This is why I don’t advocate seeing therapists and relationship counselors when having probs with dating.
Only way to get over AA, is to approach massively. And it kills me that nowadays, I hear some gurus talk about cold approaching is a waste of time.
How can it be a waste of time when it’s desensitizing the guy to his fear?
Who are these ‘gurus’ who say that “cold approaching is a waste of time.?”
I mean, that’s what Aaron Sleazy has said dozens of times, but I don’t think anyone else is big on that.
Anyways, I was already going down to Hampton, VA for a concert, I decided to turn it into a form of therapy.
I don’t expect to get laid, being as Hampton is next to Norfolk, VA, otherwise known as “No Fuck Vagina”, a city I am more than familiar with, but I have a lot of stress associated with that area from my time in the Navy, so I want to see how I do as a civilian.
With this article as inspiration, I have already started planning 3 more ‘missions’.