Be Qualified, Not Entitled

I have spent thousands of hours writing. I have put my blood and sweat into creating many books. I have maintained an active blog for several years. I have built up a loyal audience by being consistent in publishing value. In spite of that, I am not entitled to success from my writing. I am merely qualified to experience it.

I have studied both old and new methods of seduction. I have done countless of cold approaches in every environment imaginable. I have studied languages to increase my access to beautiful women. I have optimized my appearance to be more pleasing to the type of women that I prefer. In spite of that, I am not entitled to success with women. I am merely qualified to sleep with the women I desire.

I have lived outside of my birth country for five years. I have uprooted myself over a dozen times. I have explored two continents up to the limit that my energy allows. I have faced deep periods of loneliness and doubt. In spite of that, I am not entitled to find a great city to live in. I am merely qualified to live in it.

The difference between entitlement and qualification is subtle but important. In entitlement, you believe that a result should happen because you did the prerequisites that you thought was necessary. With qualification, you believe that a result could happen because of the labor you expended, but that it is ultimately not guaranteed.

Entitlement approaches life like a recipe in a contained kitchen environment, whereby you mix the required ingredients to reliably get the same result every time. Qualification approaches life like a football match, with the understanding that even having the best players on your team won’t guarantee victory. Tactics and plays must be adjusted. Substitutions must be made to match the strength and weakness of the opponent. Because life is not a contained environment, and what you think is required to achieve success may be different than what is actually required, entitlement leads to frustration, disappointment, and failure while qualification leads to persistence, optimization, and success.

I have spent many years of labor to accomplish my goals, and I believe that I have done more than most men in order to achieve them, but I am not entitled to what may grow on nature’s apple tree. All I can do is make myself qualified to climb the tree, shake it, or jump high enough to obtain the juicy apple that catches my eye. The only entitlement that the universe gives us is a temporary and often painful existence that leads to death. Before that end we must simply make ourselves as qualified as possible to reach that which we desire.

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