Be Qualified, Not Entitled

I have spent thousands of hours writing. I have put my blood and sweat into creating many books. I have maintained an active blog for several years. I have built up a loyal audience by being consistent in publishing value. In spite of that, I am not entitled to success from my writing. I am merely qualified to experience it.

I have studied both old and new methods of seduction. I have done countless of cold approaches in every environment imaginable. I have studied languages to increase my access to beautiful women. I have optimized my appearance to be more pleasing to the type of women that I prefer. In spite of that, I am not entitled to success with women. I am merely qualified to sleep with the women I desire.

I have lived outside of my birth country for five years. I have uprooted myself over a dozen times. I have explored two continents up to the limit that my energy allows. I have faced deep periods of loneliness and doubt. In spite of that, I am not entitled to find a great city to live in. I am merely qualified to live in it.

The difference between entitlement and qualification is subtle but important. In entitlement, you believe that a result should happen because you did the prerequisites that you thought was necessary. With qualification, you believe that a result could happen because of the labor you expended, but that it is ultimately not guaranteed.

Entitlement approaches life like a recipe in a contained kitchen environment, whereby you mix the required ingredients to reliably get the same result every time. Qualification approaches life like a football match, with the understanding that even having the best players on your team won’t guarantee victory. Tactics and plays must be adjusted. Substitutions must be made to match the strength and weakness of the opponent. Because life is not a contained environment, and what you think is required to achieve success may be different than what is actually required, entitlement leads to frustration, disappointment, and failure while qualification leads to persistence, optimization, and success.

I have spent many years of labor to accomplish my goals, and I believe that I have done more than most men in order to achieve them, but I am not entitled to what may grow on nature’s apple tree. All I can do is make myself qualified to climb the tree, shake it, or jump high enough to obtain the juicy apple that catches my eye. The only entitlement that the universe gives us is a temporary and often painful existence that leads to death. Before that end we must simply make ourselves as qualified as possible to reach that which we desire.

Read Next: The Unit Of Man

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  • Lobo Feroz

    A very useful distinction. This applies to every aspect of life, not only to seduction.

    Some people want the world to conform to their wishes.
    And some people adapt to the world.

    One road leads to frustration, the other to long-term success.

    Thumbs up!

  • Tom Dane

    Ah, that’s why feminists are so frustrated ?

  • Laguna Beach Fogey

    Excellent. It’s important to distinguish between the two.

    Hey, I enjoyed the interview with Christian McQueen.

  • World Unweary

    Another good article, Roosh. That’s pretty close to a classic logical error you describe, called Affirming the Consequent. Basically it’s when someone mistakes a necessary condition for a sufficient one.

  • Fisto

    This is what I needed to read today.

  • CrabRangoon

    Well put sir. The entitlement culture of the US is out of control. I’m guessing it stems from the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality over the past 20-30 years. People don’t know what it means to fail and how to learn from it.

  • Alex

    This is amazing, I really admire your blog posts sometimes

  • Conrad Stonebanks

    Seems like you’re on a roll, Roosh.

  • StochasticFats

    Excellent article. We live in an age and culture of entitlement. This is a nice counterpoint to it. Thank you

  • http://www.practicalhappiness.com/ practicalh

    Entitlement is one of the most unattractive qualities, no matter what aspect of life it touches. Sadly, the US seems to be the champion in that department. I think it has something to do with us being spoiled by customer service, refund policies, and the “customer is always right” idea. Customer is not always right. In fact, the customer is often wrong.

  • Leroy X

    Roosh-
    As well traveled as you are…
    What Nations have the best looking—/
    brunettes?
    blondes?
    redheads?

  • Molnár András

    The only thing I want on my mind when I am dieing that I have done everything I could to make my dreams come true.

    We can only control our own actions. There are times when you do everything right, but you still luck out. Use this to make you stronger and wiser, not bitter and angry. There are no guarantees in life, just probabilities.

  • http://www.dawnofchange.com/ Onder Hassan

    Perfect timing.

    Just returned home after a whole day of brutal rejection. One after another.

    I feel beaten, bruised and exhausted. I could have easily whined and become pissed of the opposite gender. But it is how it is…

    I either put up with nature’s order of things, or shut up and get on with it.

  • BoobyLovah

    Hey Roosh, Are you in Ukraine? Stay safe and don’t get yourself into “the last American on a building rooftop on the last chopper out of Saigon while it’s being overrun situation.”

    See:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2570797/Dramatic-CCTV-footage-emerges-moment-suspected-Russian-military-STORM-Crimean-parliament-building-gas-masks-armed-silenced-machine-guns.html

  • Michael

    as a commercial carpenter with over 25 years experience I always feel a little tinge of being nervous at the beginning of a project thinking am I qualified to complete this I feel this is natural and I can take this nervousness and channel it towards a positive end I also feel this carries over into many different aspects in my life the first and no I can accomplish my task few minutes are tough but once I get beyond I am super confident and can accomplish my job great post Roosh lets see more of them

  • Easy Money

    So fucking true. This post seems to hit upon one of my favorite nuances of game: you want to come off as entitled to a girl you wanna bang (b/c they generally like the cocky act), but not for a second can you think that you’re entitled to puss if you haven’t put in the effort to improve yourself and get your game in good shape.

  • Romeo_is_real

    One of your best Articles Roosh – Superb.
    Thank you for writing this – immense.

  • Penu

    You are thinker, Roosh. Your analyses are spot on and impressive.

  • http://www.raulfelix.com/ Raul Felix

    I agree completely with this. With any area a man works on in his life, he must know that even all that hard work doesn’t guarantee success, it just increases the likelihood that you will be successful.

  • Smb

    Or, as Tom Coughlin puts it, “earn the right to win.”

  • Sawyer

    Damn that was really good.

  • Timoteo

    Just like in “Unforgiven,” when Little Bill was laid out on the floor of that saloon, with William Munny standing over him, shotgun pointed at his head. “I don’t deserve to die like this,” said Little Bill. “Deserve’s got nothing to do with it,” replied Munny.

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  • Batik Modern

    Hi there. I really appreciate the points you made. I don’t think I’ve actually thought about it in that way. I can really appreciate how you approached the subject matter and what you said really gave me a new perspective. Thanks for taking the time to write this all out.
    Baju Batik Modern