Blue Balls

I don’t think women understand that getting “blue balled” causes actual physical pain. It’s not just something we say to joke around. Here’s how it works:

When a man gets aroused, his testicles pump cream towards the end of the pipe in anticipation of sex. The cream has millions of little guys who want to get out, like a crowd of people trying to exit a burning building. If time passes and they’re still stuck in the pipe, they get backed up and trample all over each other. This creates pressure, which is felt as pain by the man.

Getting blue balled feels like a 5-year-old punched you in the balls. It’s not enough to bring you to your knees but the pain comes up to your abdomen and feels very uncomfortable. There is only one way to relive the pain, and that’s to open the pipe so the little guys come out. This can either be done either with the aid of a female or alone in your parents basement.

The arousal has to be intense and sustained for there to be blue ball pain. Watching porn for an hour will not cause blue balls, but being physical with a girl for an hour where you play with her boobs will. I imagine each guy has a certain blue ball threshold.

Opening the valve on a high-pressure pipe causes a more forceful ejection. Cover your eyes.


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