One of my life’s pleasures is observing ass—high school ass, college ass, twenty-something ass, spinster ass, and old but pre-menopausal ass. Every female who is menstruating is worth a peek.

After I went through puberty and my balls doubled in size, I created a null hypothesis that all asses are the same. Every age group has the same ass qualities that include firmness, roundness, and gripability. (Because I could not test all three qualities with every ass I saw, I used my imagination to guess how hand-to-ass contact would feel.) After compiling several massive volumes of ass data, I’m confident that we can reject the null hypothesis. I conclude that time alone is a devastating factor in the deterioration of a woman’s ass.

When I’m checking out the asses of a gaggle of 16 year olds, I can’t help but notice how universally plump and round they are. Even the flattest of the group is still able to embarrass most women 10 years her senior. It is not until her twenties does this ass meat migrate to other parts of her body, like her ankles or the area above her vagina. This is similar in concept to how an aging man’s hair flows from his head to his ears, toes, and anus hole.

After 35 years, it’s all over. The ass meat loses its cohesive ability and starts to degenerate into a veiny blob of tissue. Even the grip factor declines as well: instead of squeezing an ass that feels like a ripe tomato, your hands squeeze through cookie dough—the grocery store kind that is bought in those plastic tubes. This didn’t use to be a big problem for women because they would already be married when their ass peaked, but now with the advent of equality and club guestlists, the modern woman does not get serious about marriage until the ass decline is in full effect. The same society that gives women cosmopolitans, voting rights, and Coach bags is the same that robs them of attention from quality assmen like myself at the time she most needs it. Unless our culture regresses back to the time when dual housing incomes were unnecessary, it will just be easier for me to find a juicy wife through the reputable mail-order bride industry.

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I think the cutoff for “flat ass” is around 45 now. The real key to maintain a fit and tight round ass is perpendicular cardio vascular exercises, best being the jogging of stadium steps. It will tighten an ass in a heartbeat or butt cheek squeezes if you don’t have time.

You wanna pull a women with deficient “titties” but a great ass? Just tell her ass/legs are the main course and breasts are just the fortune cookie when it comes to looks. Its a lie but it works…

peek, not peak ;-)

haha.. funny stuff though. nice null hypothesis ;-)

photoshopped for effect…

Perhaps in a future post you can throw in some points on the genetic factors that influence the ass. A worthwhile anthropological study would be the study of the brazilian ass: Past, Present, and Future.

I learned from the ass-fabulous women in my family that the longevity of good ass requires daily upkeep. With proper maintenance, ass life can be extended for at least 25 years, as I have learned from these amazing women. The null hypothesis is that one must be blessed with these genetics in the first place…

a fat ass is only fun for from the baction. after a while it gets boring…..a long while, but still….:boring:

breast men, stand up

I’ve never been a fan of the big breast. Plus the big breast has longevity issues. Ultimately I would prefer the man made breast (by a skilled surgeon) to the large natural breast.

Breast man here too. However, large breasts are a very bad investment. It’s best to get them out of your system when you’re young.

Small, perky breasts are the best. A, B, and sometimes C’s for me, please!

I don’t care what anyone else says, when I come to this blog I’m entertained. Amen, brother.

However, I actually prefer an older, fit ass to a young, perfect one because I know that the former has her shit together. She’s already hip to a healthy lifestyle and exercise, thereby extending her ass longevity. With the young, perfect ass it’s just a crap shoot (but perhaps fun while it lasts!).

That looks like juror number 8.

I agree with the idea of investing in the long term with small/medium size boobs. Eventually a set of monsters is going to drop.

I’ve only recently started seeing the value in the slim, athletic build, as opposed to the donkey-butted, big-breasted music video thoroughbreds I used to drool over

I like using smilies.

There are so many reasons that this is wrong. lol.

16 year old ass? You’re looking at 16 year old ass? High school ass and you’re how old?

And while I think generally you’re correct with the ass migration, there are many that keep themselves in shape.

Over 18….pre-35…I’ve even seen a few post-35 asses that are still prime.

Eh. whatever. I guess I can agree on your posting, but still; high school ass was the basis of this post? Ya gotta take it easy my brotha

don’t act like you’ve never caught yourself looking around a little too intently in the meat market that is the mall food court. you can’t help it; if a chick walks by and she’s stacked you’re gonna look, whether she’s 16 or 60.

now if you progress beyond looking and actually try to beast on her, then you might want to start questioning yourself…

Oh my god Becky, look at her butt!

hmm.
this post reminds me of one the the hottest asses ive seen (was about 3 days ago at uni). very very nice. she was short and petite. hehe

“16 year old ass? You’re looking at 16 year old ass? High school ass and you’re how old?”

Have you ever watched a crime being committed? Just cuz your watching doesn’t mean your guilty. In my opinion old great looking ass is the best (coming from a 23yr old). Its like a classic car, sure it cant compete for features like the newer smaller and sleeker cars, but when it comes to a nice ride there isn’t anything better.

With new ass you don’t know how well it will age. Maybe you thought that 54 Corvette was underpowered and ugly, but now you wish you invested in one.

I’m Chris Hanson, and unless your John A. Junod, you can’t tap or even look at 16 yeard old ass.

diablo que culo cono mami si te lo cojo te doy una mama que tepone loca mi perra.

thats not possible

THERE”S ALOT MORE TO KNOWING ABOUT BOOTY & EVERY INDIVIDUAL (person) IS DIFFERENT! so all I’ve got to say is talkin about sumthin & doin it is 2 different things, in other words ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS! true young girls/women have da best asses when they’re 16 yrs (sometimes 12 13 14 yrs), it all depends on family, ancestry, culture, background & genealogy/generation. who says women in their 30s don’t have bootay? you r so DEADLY & MISTAKENLY FUCKIN WRONG PAL! by the way, the booty was first invented by Black/African ppl, so ALL THANKS to the Negroids! the majority of all ppl of all Nations around the Globe are Mixed with all kinds of Cultures INCLUDING BLACK CULTURE, some know, some don’t know, some argue about the facts, others jealous, etc… but above all, Blacks created the Mixed Race as they are the first Race of ppl on da Planet!…do me a favor, SHUT THE FUCK UP & STUDY UR FUCKIN HISTORY, JACKASS! and if ur not down wit dat, I’ve got 2 words 4 U: SUCK IT!!!!!

Women with big arses will end up nasty and fat, they will smell of sweat and you wished you had never met them. Fuck these women but invest in the slim line, that way you can still pretend shes young when your fucking her.

magari tlakia

the waist up looks real

the ass looks photo shop
any way is bonenable

wow big ass ah ah ah

of course the ass is photoshoped look at the background around it.. its all curved in that area..

come on chester 16?

please send me ass photos .i love assssssssssss

I first noticed this in my mid 20′s and was quite shocked. I worked near a high school and when we would walk over to the 7-11, we would observe the high school girls. In the short span since I left high school I had forgot what those chicks bodies looked like, compared to girls my own age at the time.

While chicks in their 20′s still look very young, and most are still in fairly good shape or maybe just 10 pounds over their skinny high school weight, the BIGGEST difference was the ass. And in too many of these still very young women in their 20′s, the ass had already started to go while the rest of them still looked fine. Of course this only gets worse in their 30, 40′s and beyond. At those ages, it takes dedication and hard work to maintain that ass. Genetics also helps, as others have pointed out.

I am an ass man all the way and in my opinion, if you find a women with a nice ass, the rest will just fall in line. Sure I like big breasts but, unless they are fake, they usually come with a big ass too. Give me a smaller breasted women any day who is in no danger of losing that firmness, even if she hardly ever wears a bra.

But she has got to have a nice ass. Latin countries like Brazil, mentioned here a lot, place a much higher value on a women’s ass than we do in America where it is all tits, cleavage and models with no curves and skinny asses that look like a little boy. Same reason I just can’t get into most Asian chicks. Too small, and/or flat ass most of the time.

The exercises that maintain the ass are things like stair climber, the Ass Blaster I see in health clubs, and especially, roller blading. Show me a chick who regularly roller blades and I will show you a preserved, if not fine ass.

In summary, I agree totally. In a very short first 10 years after high school, too many women lose that fine ass they were gifted with after puberty. Those that don’t are too few.