A different side of Brazil most gringos don’t see is the gym. I don’t consider myself a meathead but with the metaphorical anal pounding my body took I was turning a little soft and figured Rio would be a good place to work on my musculature.

First thing is the cost: gyms in Brazil are expensive. The first gym I looked at cost $150 US a month, and it was almost $200 if I wanted to use the pool. While it was the most beautiful gym I’ve seen in my life, with brand new equipment in spacious rooms and even computers with free internet, I opted for the budget $100/month gym. The only major difference it had from a regular gym like Golds or Sport & Health was the LCD screens with satellite television attached to every treadmill.

Just like in the States most gym-goers are guys, but in Brazil the guys are universally huge. 90% of them were gloriously large and ripped, even the one’s in their 40′s. So many carioca guys are in shape that showing off your muscular body on Ipanema beach for example will get you about as much attention as cruising South Beach with a BMW 3 series. I saw only one or two guys during my dozen or so gym visits that were smaller than me. My gut instinct is to think they are on steroids but then again Rio has hundreds of juice bars that have caloric shakes which can be supplemented with protein. It’s also common to see GNC-like shops throughout the city. Creatine for all!

Most importantly let’s talk about the girls. In the States you see a lot of young girls in the gym because of the popularity of female high school and college athletics, but in my Brazilian gym the average female was slightly over 30. But these were the hottest 30 and over women I’ve ever seen in my life, even if a fifth of them had fake breasts. Not only do they have the means and motivation to look good, but they are working off the foundation of Brazilian genes which gives them that legendary ass. If they had it, they definitely showed it.

The best part is that many women wore skin-tight lycra ensembles where you can make out the shape of their vaginas. Do you know the machine that works out the hamstrings, where you have to lay on your stomach and curl up your legs? Imagine the views that machine could offer a gringo pervert who looked at Brazilian women with epic asses wearing one-piece outfits that revealed everything. The calf machine offered very good views of those using the vagina machine. Right now my calves are the biggest they’ve ever been in my life.

There is more of a pick-up vibe in American gyms, where you see guys and girls chatting with each other for extended periods of time without working out. In my gym this was rare but I did try to feel out the vibe by fishing for looks and engaging in light bilingual conversation. It would happen where a girl asked me in Portuguese how many sets I have left or if she could work in (you could tell which by her body language). I would respond in English with something like, “You can work in with me,” but almost every time she’d scatter off after smiling. In other cases I would ask a girl in English how many sets she has left. Instead of offering to let me work in, she would usually say she’s almost done. Even though she’d maybe check me out later, I never got that invitation to conversate, and no girl took the easy bait of asking “Where you from?” that was super common in the clubs. It could be the language barrier but my guess is there is less picking up in Brazilian gyms than American ones.

In conclusion, American gyms are good for being social and listening to T-Pain on your iPod. Argentine gyms are good for spying on the aerobics room were 95% of girls are hot. Brazilian gyms are good for looking at vaginas attached to showroom asses. Brazil wins.

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“Brazilian genes which gives them that legendary ass”

You’re doing so much for the Brazilian women of the world, truly!

Roosh, this is an interesting post because you touched something I keep in my bag of tricks. Whenever I’m overseas on travel, I like to hit local gyms if time permits and make friends with the locals. You can really meet a lot of cool, interesting people who can show you the other side of the country you’re visiting, without having to worry about being taken advantage of because you’re from the US…

Tastemakers Blogazine’s last blog post: The Expert at the Card Table.

I am inclined to think steroids over protein shakes. Maybe it is just because of our gluttonous culture (protein shake, then dinner, then a snack…) but those things are packed with calories and can make you fat as hell if you do not proceed with caution. Though, I know this is not a blog where you would want to make any sort of sweeping generalizations, so far be it from me to say a whole country is on ‘roids… ;)

Lemmonex’s last blog post: Splattered and Sated.

FYI, the Sport & Health I go to now has LCD Satellite TV’s in the treadmills too. Not sure if the other ones will follow suit…

Guys in Brazil are big into the protein shake. And it’s not steroids either, as when you say huge, it’s not body-builder huge, just muscular built (at least that’s what I’m used to seeing in Brazil).

I’ve never started or had someone start a conversation with me at the gym here… Damn.

Beach Bum’s last blog post: Please enlighten me!.

Oh, and I’m surprised you have not made a comment yet how at least half the guys at the beach in Brazil wear speedos. Including the surfers…

Beach Bum’s last blog post: Please enlighten me!.

I find that in the US, whether or not a gym is a pickup spot is very dependent on the specific gym. For example in NY, Bally’s had a huge pickup vibe, along with Crunch in. I went to Gold’s Gym and it was more hardcore, both the men and the women were serious about their reps and routine and didn’t want to socialize. New York Sports Club is somewhere in the middle.

T.’s last blog post: Open Feedback Thread.

T. Speaks the truth. Golds is known for keeping it real and all about the workout.

Roosh, don’t front like you even knew what to do with all that ass in Brazil. I would have came through and killed everything moving… true story

I’m amazed by how many average looking girls I see at NYSC. At any given time the gym is probably made up of 2/3rds women with the occassional sighting of an above average looking girl. The rare hot girl sighting usually happens on Monday’s when the place is packed with as many as 90% women most of whom are in yoga or some hip hop dance classes. I am formulating a theory as to why that is.

actually i’ve read that steroids are very cheap and readily available in brazil and supplements like protein and creatine are very expensive in comparison to the US

DF: Monday’s are packed as women feel the shame from their weekend binges. Working off the booze and late night pizza they allowed themselves to eat; by Thursday, it is all forgotten.

Lemmonex’s last blog post: Splattered and Sated.

i’ve heard brazilians are obsessed with appearance (#1 country in the world for number of butt implant surgeries). my friends who lived there for a short period were suddenly health and gym fanatics – you are an outcast if you live in brazil and don’t work out.

damn, i really need to see this country myself.

shadi’s last blog post: The Big Question.

I can vouch for Gold’s being hardcore. The middle-manager meathead factor is high, and the pro power lifter/body builder fraternity is well-entrenched. They tend to be good guys overall, though, big on gym etiquette.

Friend of mine travels and works with plastic surgeons from all over the world. She says the best plastic surgeons are from Brazil (by best, she means the ones who know how to cinch that chin without leaving a hint of a mark). Maybe it’s not “genes” after all.

shadi: sounds like my kinda country.

wow awkward, i did a search for “pecs” and got a link to this blog…

eerily similar to getting a link with the same search for http://www.stephenAmurphy.com too.

embarrassment aside, i’m glad i found both of the blogs– very witty! :)

It’s called a cameltoe.

African guys are much more likely to have a version of a muscle gene that allows them to be ripped with lots of volume even without working out. That version of the gene has probably spread through Brazilian males over the past several centuries. The same explains why Brazilian girls have such big round butts.

agnostic’s last blog post: Opener to use on indie girls.

One thing I’ve noticed is the “bedroom eyes” you get there when simply overheard speaking English. It’s not like every single girl is going to check you out, but you do feel noticed. Another big plus, and related to the comments about fitness, is that I think I might have seen one fat girl in my 3 times visiting there. No exaggeration, the girls there are in shape.

muscle and ass is an African thing. Thank your African heritage.

I always think that the special classes at the gym like yoga, “salsafit” or rumba must be good places to meet girls. I never went to a gym in Brazil though.

Here in Medellin I went to a rumba class at my Bodytech gym but the gay instructor made it hard for me to follow after a while (I was the only guy in the middle of 15 females). The moves he was busting were definitely too feminine/gay for me… The same happened in another country with a female instructor. I think 50% of this kind of class is meant for the girls to shake their asses and get rid of their cellulite

I’ll try the yoga soon…