PREVIOUSLY: Part One

Fast forward three days later. The memory of the Mexican girl is fading and I’m in my top bunk trying to get over a bad cold when a Brazilian girl checks in.

I thoroughly checked her out while she was bending over to store her things and deemed her nothing special. The Mexican girl had a better overall face and body, but of course the Brazilian had a better ass.

I found out later that night she doesn’t speak any English, so I took it as an opportunity to practice my Portuguese. She was nice and allowed me to mangle her language while correcting my horrible pronunciation, and since so few gringos speak Portuguese I earned 1,000 bonus points for being able to communicate in her native tongue. During our conversation I concluded that her appearance was homely but not ugly—she was simply a plain girl you’d see anywhere, not worth a second look if you caught sight of her on the street.

While we talked I noticed she had a peculiar stare. She’d squint her eyes ever so slightly and part her lips just a hair, a sensual look you’d expect during intimacy and not in a casual conversation. I like to think this was an unconscious gesture on her part and not something to “game” me, but then again at some point in her life she must’ve realized that it has an effect on real men.

She asked me if I was going out and I told her I was going to be a loser and stay in, as the next day I was meeting an old flame and wanted to be as vigorous as possible for the sex that would likely ensue. She then began to get ready, and like a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly, she literally transformed.

First she showered her body. Her hair stayed dry in it’s already perfect state, long to the small of her back, soft and feathery like you’d see in a Pantene Pro-V shampoo commercial. After changing in a short black dress that came halfway up her thighs, she escaped to the bathroom with a brush and returned ten minutes later, suggesting that hair like hers is no trivial matter to maintain. I don’t think she’ll ever get an ugly bob cut like an American girl, who works forty hours a week pushing papers that contribute nothing to the progress of the world but is too lazy to spend a few extra minutes a day on her hair.

She then got out her compact and began applying makeup. She put on a dark rouge to stand out against her olive skin, glossy lipstick to match, and thick eyeliner which made her eyes look twice as big. You can imagine what that did to her stare and it’s here I noticed that my breathing picked up in speed. She slipped into five-inch heels that highlighted her freshly painted toenails, a bold orange color that matched her fingernails, so fresh in appearance it had to have been done just a day or two prior. I really have no idea how she could walk in those heels but she made it look effortless, like she practiced often starting from a young age. If they killed her feet I doubt she would let a man know.

(Speaking of heels, not once have I seen a Brazilian girl take off her heels and then put on sneakers for the bus or subway ride home after work. It’s because they don’t do things that purposefully make them look like an idiot. If you can’t wear attractive footwear because they hurt your feet or are hard to walk in, then maybe you should get a stay-at-home job instead of embarrassing yourself in public. Either do it right or don’t do it at all.)

She walked in and out of the dorm room to the bathroom, and the girl I witnessed earlier in the day was gone, replaced by this sexual creature I’d do all that I could to bang. I’d happily spend hours in the club with her, dancing, touching, and drinking for a chance to violate her body. I believe any man would. While her genetic appearance was only average, she has figured out that by maximizing her look she can gain the attentions of men like myself who resist chasing average women. It’s true that my interest may not carry over after sex, but at least she has a chance at hooking a man, for a woman who can’t even get sexual attention is already dead in the water. Tight game for men is words and a cocky attitude, while for women it’s looks and a playful attitude. I don’t know why this is so hard for Westerners to understand.

The Brazilian girl didn’t leave right away—she had to wait for a friend who was staying in the bunk above hers to return. She sat down on her bed and then very slowly and deliberately started putting lotion on her long legs. They did not have mosquito bites or mountain bike bruises and cuts like the gringas in the dorm next door. By now I’ve already run out of my good Portuguese and had nothing more to say, frustrating to a man who in English can talk to a wall for five hours nonstop without interruption.

She’s stroking her legs and I’m catching this from the corner of my eye, rubbing my beard roughly at the torture I was witnessing. Then she does the inexplicable: she lays down on her bed while dangling her legs and feet (heels still on) over the bunk’s wooden ledge. Her dress snaked down to the very top of her thigh where it meets with her body and only two more inches until her vagina would be in plain view. Her hair is splayed across the bed and she’s inspecting her finger nails and it got too hot for me so I stopped out for a couple minutes to get some air. She left soon after.

The next day she looked average again but I saw her differently. Loose jeans covered her body but I didn’t forget the ass in the black skirt that bent over to retrieve feminine hygiene products from the locker. She had a plain t-shirt on but I didn’t forget the way her back curves into the meaty part of her hips. Her hair was up in a bun but I could still pick apart its thickness and length. My attraction for her didn’t decrease because I knew in a couple hours time she’d transform back to what aroused me.

Here’s a business idea for a Brazilian woman out there: write a book called “Why Brazilian Women Get All The Men,” in the spirit of “French Women Don’t Get Fat.” Teach Western girls to look their best at all times, to know how to maintain eye contact with a man, how to move, how to properly laugh at a man’s jokes, and how to exercise the ass. An entire chapter must be dedicated to ass exercises. Teach them to forget about being witty or snarky or funny or “intelligent,” as those things decrease attraction instead of increasing it. Teach them well so that when I go to an American bar I don’t see average girls with chipped nail polish, flip flops, masculine movements, and a generally sloppy appearance—I see a sexual creature that I want to get to know, possibly for more than one night.

Jersey Shore is a brilliant anthropological look at modern game because it puts together a bunch of shallow, horny people who love to go out and hook up. Compare this to the typical Real World snoozefest where you have more “balanced” characters like the emo doofus who couldn’t pick up a girl if his life depended on it and the angry black man who is more interested in debating than getting laid.

I would like to rate the game of the four guys who are on the show, from worst to best.

4. Vinny

This guy added very little value. No one hated him, no one loved him, and he merely existed to make an occasional comment that got token laughter, feeding off the others instead of getting his own vibe pushed into the storyline. His energy wasn’t bad and I actually didn’t mind his fist pumps in the club but he never seemed to make a play on any decent girl. The first girl he hooked up with was his boss’ girl and then he tried to go for his roommate’s sister. This is what guys with no game do—shit where they eat. And then his Atlantic City bitch gets embarrassingly ganked by Mike, who shouldn’t be faulted for it because he knew like I knew that Vinny had zero hope of sealing the deal. His main purpose is to fill up space.

Bottom Line: Vinny has no game. He needs to take a workshop or something, but then again he’s only 21. I’m sure he’ll be fine in a few years.

3. Ronnie

Ronnie was almost as boring as Vinny. He lacked Mike’s charm and wit and was always logical, complaining about nonsense or calling out someone for trivial matters instead of playing the diplomat. His cackle laugh is obnoxious and fake but he does have the ability to crack a decent joke every now and then. The basic strategy of his game is to show up looking “fresh,” do that crunk dance he learned from watching Rize, and then not open his mouth too much.

Most of the work in getting laid for him is indeed his muscles and hair. This was obvious when Sammi repeatedly said how “hot” he was, and initially with her it wasn’t his personality that did the heavy lifting. His energy in the club is good with his dance moves and because he’s laid back without showing too much interest I’m pretty sure he has banged a few girls in the past.

Unfortunately there is heavy degradation to his game once he gets into a relationship. He kept saying gag-on-a-spoon things stitched together from bad movies like, “I thought the shore was the best thing to happen to me….. but you are,” and “I don’t know what it is about you, but I could kiss you all day.” But since these dumb lines come after sex, I wonder how much it really affects his pussy-getting ability.

Even though I’m sure Ronnie would demolish me in a fight, he came across as a needy little bitch, chasing around Sammi who’s only somewhat decent after fixing herself up for three hours. She had the ham arms, a lackluster buddy, and the most annoying personality on the show.

Bottom Line: His game is only looks, and with that he can only get stupid girls who are less pretty than he is handsome.

2. Pauly D

Pauly has the elements of tight game simmering somewhere underneath. There is no reason he shouldn’t pull every night but frankly he was unable to live up to his potential. He needs to look alive, lower his standards a bit, and approach more instead of waiting for Mike to get shit going. In fact for most of the show he basically rode Mike’s coattails. Otherwise he’s cool, aloof, knows how to dance, has interesting hobbies to bring up in conversation, and is cocky but not too cocky where it borders on caricature like Mike. These selected Pauly quotes reveal that his mind is in the right place:

“I’m just trying to roll with it.”

“I have a game plan… I don’t want to waste my time.”

“My girl was fucking busted… I was just trying to go with the flow.”

His constant talk about high standards is probably bullshit because he did put in a significant amount of time into the Israeli girl who was mediocre at best. I find that guys who constantly harp on standards usually use it as an excuse to not approach, as you always see them later with average girls. Mike has lower standards but with the sheer quantity of girls he’s getting with it’s a guarantee that a hot girl will slip into the rotation every now and then.

One important thing Pauly needs to do is be more persistent. He had J-Wow on his bed peeping at his cock but he didn’t even try to get her shirt off or play with her boobs. I know she had a boyfriend at the time and probably wouldn’t fuck them that night, but his chill vibe may be a little too chill, and he needs to give a damn when it’s time to close the deal.

Bottom Line: Pauly has the right mindset and some good moves but he needs to step up in order to realize his true potential.

1. Mike “The Situation”

You gotta admit that Mike has personality and charm. Sure he’s cheesy and over-the-top, but behind his outrageous cockiness there is a wink and a nod that it’s a tough guy act and he’s an alright cat behind that. Now while he is very good at building attraction, it’s obvious that he has a tough time closing the deal. One of the reasons it that he was way too obsessed with that fucking jacuzzi. Bro you use the jacuzzi to get them to your house but once there say it’s broken. Man has gotten laid well before the jacuzzi and will continue to do so if jacuzzis cease to exist. There was also the big late-game mistake he made when he ordered greasy pizza with the sluts he brought home, an amateur move usually played by guys who just graduated from college.

For some reason he counts his chickens before they hatch, having a “I’ll fuck her when I want” mindset that obviously doesn’t work. Still, I think he has the right attitude with girls that he just wants to sleep with as he even admitted many times that it’s a numbers game. He probably did get rejected the most on the show (let’s give him a pass on that embarrassing bitterness business with Sammi), but then again he kissed the most girls and had the most bangs. In the end it’s the results that matter as there are no style points in fucking.

The fact that he banged that cute girl raw dog in the jacuzzi should leave no doubt that he’s a true player. Gotta get that notch no matter what!

Bottom Line: Mike is charismatic, fun, and has the right game mindset, though he could tighten up his deal-sealing technique. Despite his gay stripper vibe he was the most consistent and therefore has the best game.

Note how the guys had a “whatever” attitude towards phone numbers. They’re all about the same night and if you want to fuck a lot of girls then that’s how it’s done.

One of the reasons I enjoyed this show is because it reminded me of how Virgle Kent and I run game in D.C. While the background and people are different, the elements are the same: same-night pulls, grenade jumping, street game, muscles, random make-outs, alcohol-fueled drama, fights, stalking, cockblocking, and so on. I especially enjoyed the scenes where the guys extracted girls back to the house because it’s there I could identify a lot of mistakes they were making when it came time to close, a couple of which I mentioned above.

In a bar you can have a dozen girls thinking about banging you but if you don’t have a plan to ease just one away from the friends into a bedroom then you won’t get a lot of bangs. The first part of learning game is about building attraction, but then you have to master logistics, of being persistent and cool in herding her to the bedroom. Otherwise you’ll just have a stack of phone numbers.

For the most part the guys on the show have the attraction part nailed, but it’s the logistics that cost them quite a few notches. Divide and conquer, isolate and bang. When building attraction becomes automatic for you, the game becomes one of timing and logistics.

The following is a guest post by my partner-in-crime Virgle Kent.

Man, on Monday I haven’t seen that much heat on this blog since I told a hipster chick that the band Grizzly Bear was slightly overrated—that one didn’t end well. Roosh wrote something about American women not showing enough interest when it comes to needing men and how the western culture has broken them, and I’m just paraphrasing there but for some reason this got me thinking on my normal chicken and the egg thought process of game and gaming. Now just follow me for a second.

Let’s say you spit game to a pretty girl and she’s very receptive, touching, laughing at all your jokes and at the end she gives you her number. You call in a couple of days and she picks up on the first couple of rings (yes this is DC, shut it). After quick conversation you set up the date and she shows up without flaking or even being “fake late” (yes, still in DC). The date ends with a make out and by date two she let’s you hit (I’m sorry DC, “Beat the pussy up”). Now after that nothing really changes, she hits you right back when you text, picks up phone calls or calls back as soon as she’s available, and sticks with plans. If you want a relationship she’s down, but not too pushy about it. My question is if you had a girl who knew how to “act right” in public or when you’re alone, and was generally a nice girl, would you still use as much game on her as you do with other girls?

By now if you’ve been hitting the DC streets you already know what’s up, you know the truth is that game works best on bitter women who believe that game can’t work on them. The jaded ones who’ve survived and been through oh so much are too wise to fall for silly alpha lines as they’ve developed anti-game to combat your game. These women are the ones who are serially pumped and dumped. Since women like this are too messed up to have relationships with once you’re anti-game radar goes off, go for the notch and be out faster than Snooki’s vagina when a Tiesto beat comes on (what is that beef jerky).

Although we could blame Western culture on the bitter girl who chose the pursuit of career, education and weight gain over not settling with a reasonable guy early, understand that the first girl who responded well to all your advances without putting up much of a front is the same girl at one who is ice cold and jaded—they are just at different times in their lives.

Guys get so used to running game all the time that it almost becomes a dating crutch. A script we follow down to the exact detail. If you overgame a girl who is open and already into you you’re just making it harder for the next guy that comes along after you because now he’s going to have to game her twice as hard. It compounds and builds and by the end she hates herself for liking guys like you. Gaming never really goes away but I do think there are certain times it’s not needed as much as one thinks.

This does remind me of this one time last year back when Roosh was being stalked by this psycho poetry chick that wrote a Valerie Solanas type S.C.U.M Manifesto. At Brazilian night on a Thursday I met one of her girls—she had an Israeli vibe going on and a phatty you could see from the front. I got her phone number and the next night she invited me to stop by her coffee shop where she would be working. She brings up Roosh and goes on to start talking all this shit about him. “That guy is such an asshole, he’s so pathetic, all that game shit doesn’t work, no real girl would give him the time of day, what a loser, blah blah blah blah.” By then she already knew about his blog from poetry girl.

I sat quietly and let her run her mouth for a minute or two enjoying my free food until I smiled and asked how long she’s worked at this coffee shop. She said a couple of years. I asked if she was working here sometime back last Spring and she said yes. I told her I remembered her because Roosh and I used to come in on Saturdays and sit in her section to get some work done. The reason I remembered was because Roosh flirted with her and got her number using standard waitress game, with lines he had used many times before. Her face turned bright red as she had honestly forgot and she was so genuinely embarrassed she begged for me not to mention anything back to Roosh.

There’s a lesson in that one somewhere.

My roommate from Denmark was locked out of his room the other day and waited in the kitchen for the landlord to deliver a spare key. I cooked dinner in the meanwhile and we got to talking. At some point he asked me, “Why are you here?”

—

“Everyone keeps asking me that and I wish I had a quick, powerful answer, but it comes down to two things: wanting to explore, something I think most men want to do, and wanting to get away from the American way of life. I really can’t say which one motivates me more to be here.

“In America you go to college, which you’re told is supposed to be the most fun years of life, and then you get a job taking orders from some pencil dick in this grand mission to chase money and accumulate stuff. I don’t need stuff—all I need in life is a laptop and good speakers. I’ll be happy anywhere because it’ll keep me busy. I can write, read, listen to music, stay in touch with friends and family… I don’t need more than that. Now I date girls young enough who think that type of lifestyle is ‘cool,’ but if I ever want to have a family some day I’ll probably have to make some changes.

“I don’t want to work 40 hours a week doing the same thing to be insulted with a 3% raise and a pat on the head every year. I don’t want to count down the days to the weekend where I punish my liver because my week was so lifeless. I don’t want to wait until Saturday to take a book to a coffee shop and lose track of time. In college they should sit you down on your first day and say: ‘Ladies and gentleman, your mission in life is to make the days of the week irrelevant.’ What day is today? I don’t know. Days of the week are bar and club names for me now, places I know are good. Sunday: Casa Rosa. Wednesday: Casa da Matriz. Thursday: Democratica. Saturday: Rio Scenarium. I feel like I’ve made it because I don’t care what day it is.

“Americans are lazy but they’re not. When it comes to money they’ll work like fucking mules. You’ll never see someone put in as many hours as an American, kiss ass like an American. They’ll do anything to make that extra dollar to get that plasma television or dine in some frou-frou restaurant that got a good review by some idiot on the internet. They’ll grin and take it in the ass when the boss asks them to stay in on Saturday morning a month before performance reviews are due. They will work and barely complain when you tell them they can’t take a long vacation. Hell, even if you give them a lot of time off they wouldn’t know what to do with it. They’ll take a trip to the Caribbean or some pre-programmed cruise to be trapped with a bunch of whales, one handshake from projectile diarrhea.

“When it comes to anything else Americans don’t want to lift a finger. I mean look at heath care. Americans think it’s pills and MRIs. Why aren’t many people connecting the dots between the American diet and health care? Americans eat like pigs, look like pigs, get sick with diabetes, heart disease, god knows what else, and then complain that health care is too expensive. Their lifestyle makes it expensive. Don’t get me wrong I believe the government should provide free health care for its citizens, but exercising four times a week is my health care. Eating vegetables, cooking all my meals, avoiding junk food, drugs, stress—that’s my health care. I probably spend more hours a week on my health than on making money. Americans don’t cook or simply take care of themselves because they’re too tired from making money. They want to pop pills with side effects to keep eating ‘comfort’ food and sit on their asses. After putting in a tough eight hours or more with the man that’s all they have the energy to do.

“And the women… ‘I don’t need a man. I’m independent. I don’t need a man, I got my own money, my own job. I don’t need a man.’ The result is that an American girl thinks it’s weakness to show a man how much she needs him. I don’t know if you had a corporate job in Denmark, but dating an American woman is like dealing with coworkers. They’re very careful with what they say. Every laugh is meticulously orchestrated—she must’ve laugh too hard now or you may think she thinks you’re funny. Every word’s use was analyzed and judged—she mustn’t show too much interest because that’s weakness. ‘Shit I just showed too much interest I have to be cold now—let me make fun of him about something.’ I’m lucky I’ve spent enough time down here to know that that simply isn’t real. That’s not how women, as in women of the human race, really are. Those American girls are basically programmed to be more distant than their nature. And they wonder why they’re so unhappy. Nature is a powerful thing, and you’ll always lose when you go against it.

“The other night I went out with this Brazilian girl. Very cute girl, a few years younger than me. It was our second date and we went out to some gringo bar and after our first drink she looks at me and says, ‘If you were leaving back to America right now, I’d come with you. I’d take a chance and do it.’ Other Brazilian girls have done and said similar ‘weak’ things, and Colombian girls as well. And that’s real, because the nature of a woman is she needs a man. These girls here understand that. They don’t hide it, and I don’t punish them for it. A girl that knows she needs a man, that that’s the point of her existence, will treat men very well. She’ll pleasure him, make him happy, hold onto him a little tighter at night. You think an American girl will ever say something like that?! If I tell an American girl some of the things that the girls down here have said to me, she’ll be shocked, ‘But but that goes against the book! They’re showing too much interest! They’re showing weakness!’

“You remember that American girl I brought back a couple weeks ago? Okay I know I’m in Brazil and fucking an American girl looks bad, but truth is American girls have become perfectly designed for easy, meaningless sex. It’s like one step above jerking off… no emotions, just business—like getting with a prostitute. It takes just three hours to get them in bed, and you’re fucking her for the first time and she says cunt this, cock that, like she’s in a porno movie, because she watches that too. I just met the bitch and she’s moaning that she likes how much I’m beating her pussy up! Look that’s fun, like how jerking off with your left hand is fun, but it’s not normal. A normal girl will be quiet the first time, will be self-conscious, will wonder if she’s pleasing you properly or not.

“The Western culture has broken the women. A girl wakes up and she’s 30 and has no man and no hope for a man, yet she already passed on several who didn’t give her the tinglies or butterflies in her stomach or whatever the fuck term she uses. Because of course the culture gave them this sense of entitlement as well, to think that with mediocre looks and ten extra pounds they can get a hot stud like they see in the magazines in line at the grocery store. And then they get old and have to compete with younger and prettier girls. They can’t win. They won’t. So what do they do? They throw themselves on young guys who still value older women as ‘experienced’ and ‘mature.’ But those guys age and get a clue, and then you see the woman going on 40, working hard at the gym, desperately trying to fight the sag, bragging that she fucked this college guy. What a miserable existence.

“My parents aren’t American but in the end I’m a product of that culture and it takes a lot of time and effort to fight the programming —to do what nature intended you to do. Unfortunately I think I’ll always be tethered to America. My family is there and I can’t even talk to my mom on the phone without her guilting me into coming back and taking care of her, even though she doesn’t need taken care of. I don’t know… I’m going to go back and the first month is going to be great with my family, and my friends, and then after that they’ll be nothing for me. I don’t fit in there, and I don’t exactly fit in anywhere else either. What am I going to do in the States—get an American girlfriend? Get a 9-5? Fuck that. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

I’ve chopped up her missive because of its enormous length…

A friend has sent me the address to your blog. And I was very surprised to read the content of it. It is very sad to see that a well educated men from a known developed country has such a small and limited view of the world. Or maybe he doesn’t have, but he is definitely making a buck or two on that.

Don’t you realize that some of your readers actually believe the things you say? It is people like you that make prejudice still exist. Instead of using your international experience and your ability to write to make a difference and help people be more culturally diverse, no you had to make a big joke about the countries you’ve visited.

In the past couple years I’ve been more careful here before hitting the publish button because a lot of guys depend on my information for not only picking up girls but where to take their vacations (I like to think the number of guys who’ve visited Cordoba because of me is in the hundreds). Sure I include a little theater in some of my writing, but when it comes to straight-forward advice I keep it clear and honest.

Everything I’ve written about the countries I’ve visited has been based on my own careful observation and information from dozens of other guys whose brains I pick, preferably in person. While my job is to generalize, I resist doing it until I’m very certain that what I’m sharing will apply to most men. And the reports I get back show that my generalizations are almost always dead-on.

As a Brazilian girl myself, I can tell you that there is nothing more lovely then having to explain that Brazil is not about naked women, sex and soccer. It is SUCH an honor to explain that actually, I’m not a whore to every ignorant guy I meet along the way. By the way, I do hope that you are smart enough to get that I am being ironic here. It is sad and disgusting to know that there are still people that see Brazil in that way. There is more to Brazil then that. I am not from Rio, but I’ve been there many times to tell you that there is more to Rio then that.

I know that in A Dead Bat In Paraguay I painted a picture that Brazilian girls lean towards the easy side, but I made sure to explain that quality is the big unknown factor. While guys share tales of incredible sexual adventures in Brazil, they sometimes forget to include that they paid for it, or that the girls were beastly, or that they banged a former man. (Romanticizing about travel is not something that only travel writers do.) The stereotype of the easy Brazilian girl continues through the power of inertia and it’s only during extended time here that I’m realizing Brazilian girls are definitely not easier than American girls. Sure once you bang them they’re more sensual, loving, affectionate and all that good stuff, but getting there takes more work.

Thank you so much for creating a legion of ignorant jerks and maintaining the ones that have always been that way! Yay for American men who think that they are so much better then the rest of the man in the world that they can just fuck which ever girl in Brazil they’d like.

I always advise guys to take time to learn the local language, which many of them do. The “ignorant jerks” you speak of not only spend more time in Brazil, contributing healthy amounts of money to the local economy, but they know more of the language and culture. As for fucking, last time I checked sex is a natural act that both women and men enjoy. Since every woman they fucked wanted to get fucked by them, it’s clear to me that I’m making the world a better place. I sleep very well at night as I consider myself doing God’s work.

I find that your blog on “Brazilian Girls” it’s quite wrong and poor in data proving whatever it is that you are saying. First of all, in case you haven’t noticed, Brazil is a country almost as big as the USA, and quite diverse. Even Rio de Janeiro is diverse as a city can be, as Manhattan is very different from Brooklyn. What you did was a poor generalization of your own experience, which lets face it, it is probably fake. Which, frankly, I don’t give a damn about it, I just feel sorry for the girls who did end up going to bed with you. But I guess you often lie about your master piece blog and books. You may think that this is a big joke. But we are talking about prejudice here!

While Brazil is a huge country, most guys will spend lengthy amount of times in Rio, so it makes little sense to research how girls are like in dumps like Recife or Salvador where the talent is hurting. Plus there there are very few tribes in Rio (Brazil’s Miami), as opposed to nearby São Paulo (Brazil’s New York). The culture is homogeneous and for the most part you only have a couple subgroups: the artists/bohemians, the preps, the meatheads/cheerleaders, and the gangbangers. In New York you can have half a dozen different tribes in the same neighborhood, so it would be just about impossible to write an all-encompassing post called “How To Pick Up New York City Chicks.” The reason I can generalize about Rio and Brazilian girls in general is because there is so little variance.

To give you an example, I can tell, by my own experience living in the USA as an exchange student almost 10 years ago, that I’ve never seen so many pregnant teenagers, or teenage mothers, as my classmates in High School, and may I add that none of the people I knew from Brazil were even having sex at that time. Also I was often surprised when the girls would talk about doing blow jobs on the first date – which in Brazil, we just make out, and apparently that makes us the easy ones.

Do you think It’s not a coincidence that the most bitter email I’ve gotten from a Brazilian girl happens to be one who lived in America for a lengthy amount of time? Again she’s merely letting off steam and attacking the “Brazilian girls are easy” stereotype instead of my previous writings on it.

Have you ever pointed out the cultural differences? You’ve not mentioned once that there are all kinds of girls here. The same thing happens in the USA and in many other countries. And by the way, I would never dance in a club the way some American girls do – which is much more promiscuous then the way the cariocas from the favela dance.

An educated Brazilian girl in the North is very similar to one in the South if you take away factors like appearance and accent. If you’ve heard an average guy’s story about picking up a Brazilian girl and dating her, you’ve heard them all: fast kiss, bit of work to bang, needy, wanted a relationship fast, did something crazy in a fit of jealous rage.

This Brazilian girl complains about grinding, but then she’ll regularly tongue-down two or more guys a night like I commonly see in the clubs. I think exchanging saliva (and possible diseases) is a more intimate gesture than bonobo rubbing through multiple layers of clothing.

After you travel around the whole country and see that each state, and realize that even each city and town has their very own culture then you can attempt to make a few statements. And still, there is not way that you alone can make such a generalization.

I’ve been to the following states: Ceará, Rio Grande do Norte, Pernambuco, Bahia, Espirito Santo, Paraná, and Rio de Janeiro. Many Brazilians have told me that I’ve seen more of their country than themselves. I have a basic understanding of how each state is like and while there are differences like New York City and Washington D.C. are different, every Brazilian state is not a completely unique world like she is insinuating.

Even if you do a proper research with over 100 cases from each city and country you visit, which is enough for statistical data, maybe then you can say “some” “most” “out of the research x% …”. But don’t go assuming and saying things which are absurd, especially things that most people don’t have access to the information. How would you like if someone went around and wrote about American girls, but just taking on city and trash talked them? I don’t know about you, but most Americans I know would not be flattered.

Most American guys I know are tired of American girls, so they would find it to be very amusing, as they have here in the past. They don’t have this blind pride when it comes to their country’s women. They can admit that hey, there are some big flaws here and I’m going to have an open mind to see what else is out there before I commit my lifeblood to any one girl.

Also, this is the part of the email where the girl outs herself to be an engineer or scientist of some sort. As someone who has worked in the science field, I can assure you that she is most likely a very homely women whose opinions should be taken with extreme hesitation.

I’m not saying that what you wrote doesn’t happen here in Brazil – I am well aware of how things are here, as I’ve traveled to most states in the country and have friends from all over the country, from different backgrounds and different social status. What I am saying is that the same thing happens in the USA and most other countries.

Flip flop!

Do you even know what goes on in the country? Have you studied or learned about the social differences and why things are the way they are? Have you learned Portuguese? Have you learned how public education works in Brazil? How hard it is to have access to things in the country? It doesn’t sound like you have. It doesn’t seem like you even learn the Brazilian way of living. How hard it is to find work here, how people really have a hard time paying the bills, getting education, safety and so on! It looks like you are just an ignorant man who is making a joke for the fellow ignorant men out there. And that’s too bad.

I won’t even bother mentioning how sexist your blog is, because honestly it doesn’t look like you are looking for a girl with a brain. Which bad news for you, because looks go away, no hot girl will look hot after their 65.

Paying the bills? Hot until 65? Alright I think I gave her enough space here. She obviously has a lot of pent up anger from how her country is viewed, but my response to that concern would be, “Why do you give a fuck?” If some random Australian complains about the United States, am I going to take the time to argue with him about why he may be wrong? I honestly couldn’t care less and it’s not because I have zero patriotism, but if someone comes at you with a negative opinion it’s going to be impossible to change that with reason and logic instead of more needed violence. In the end I get the last laugh anyway, because he’ll go home and watch American movies, listen to American music (I got a feeling!), and eat shitty American food, while the only thing I’ll continue to know about Australia is what I gleaned from the Crocodile Dundee movies and Outback Steakhouse.

In the end this email is a criticism on generalizations. I agree that there is a problem with generalizations as it does not apply 100% of the time, but they are absolutely essential in sharing information that others can use with a reasonable degree of certainty and consistency.

“Girls from Cordoba are hot.”

“Colombian girls are flakey.”

“South American girls are needy.”

“American girls are crazy easy, and one night stands are very common.”

“Brazilian girls have big asses.”

These statements will hold true at least 80% of the time, and it allows me to compare and contrast different cities and girls for those guys who are looking for something different. Without it then it would be impossible to properly advise guys where and how to spend their limited time on this Earth.

Modern society has warped what it means to be a real man. The result is you have “men” who are successful on paper, who have a house, some money, respectable wardrobe, stylish furniture, and fine tastes, yet they can’t get laid with a beautiful woman. I don’t have to remind you of the hogs that a lot of men are carrying around on their arms in public, a sort of reverse natural selection that our feminizing culture is allowing. I have thought long and hard about all the qualities that make a real man, and have determined that only two are absolutely essential.

1. Ability to get laid at will. If you can’t get laid with multiple women, you’re not a real man, plain and simple. If you can’t mate with superior genes then you’re a blight on the human condition, and should be euthanized. What else is there more important to human existence than fucking? Nothing.

There was a time when I couldn’t get laid, when I was a useless parasite on the world, but then I learned and now I am spreading my seed on multiple continents. It’s true I have not had children (as far as I know), but with a flip of a switch this can be accomplished easily. In all likelihood my human destiny will be accidentally achieved rather soon.

2. Personal strength. Can you defend your lifeblood if the shit really hits the fan? Can you protect yourself against an attacker? Otherwise you are not a real man. Personal strength comes in two forms: the confidence to make a stand and the physical apparatus to carry it out. If you fall over at the slightest breeze then are you not suitable for life, and should be terminated. If I can wrap my thumb and index finger around your bicep then you a decaying organism that would perish without the nanny state to keep you safe and warm. While I am not a meathead, I am prepared to fight to the death if my being is threatened or questioned.

Real men are made, not born. If you choose not to be a real man, but instead a half-man like 90% of Western males, then you don’t deserve the benefits that come with it—sex and respect. I cannot imagine living life without either.

These women are bringing a child into the world (because god knows we need more) with the knowledge that he or she will be more fucked up than the general population. Studies show that raising a child alone is the worst thing you can do to a human being, especially if that human is male. Is the woman going to teach her son how to stand up for himself? Is she going to teach him how to be attractive to women and then bang lots of them, like his genetics dictate? Is she going to give him the self-confidence to carve his own path in life? Is she going to teach him how to beat someone in the face? No, no, no, and no.

My parents divorced when I was 8, and for the next twelve years or so I visited my dad two nights a week. So when I got out of college, I was only 30% man. With much time, determination, and sex with different women, I have been able to become 99% man (yeah, I like myself a good snuggle from time to time), but it would have been a hell of a lot easier if I had a constant male influence in my life. Unfortunately many guys have been raised by their fathers but they might as well be fatherless—their dads didn’t teach them shit, sometimes because they didn’t quite know how to be a man themselves. This has happened because Western society has not demanded that men act like men.

I got to see a sad example of single motherdom in Pipa, Brazil, a small beach town in the Northern coast. There was an Italian mother and her 8-year-old boy traveling with the grandmother and aunt. Three women, zero men. They put a long rainbow-colored tassel in his almost shoulder-length hair and a piece of woven jewelry around his tiny ankle. They indulged his every whine without teaching him things like sports, play fighting, and smashing objects. He copied their feminine ways of speaking and the poolside sight of my hairy body nearly scared him to death—he literally trembled with fear like someone had dropped him into the lion sanctuary at the zoo. I’m absolutely certain this adorable little boy will be a huge fag when he gets older. Now how is that not child abuse?

While there’s nothing wrong with being gay (except the doing it in each other’s butts part), you must accept that homosexuality is on the deviant side of nature. The Italian mother was actually married when she had the future sausage jockey, but many Western women who have failed in love will be having kids using sperm donors. These self-absorbed women do not care that they are destroying a human life as long as they can attempt to relieve the immense emptiness in their lives, caused by chasing that cheddar in the corporate office instead of pleasing a real man who could fertilize her BPA-tainted eggs with a child. Thanks to their actions, society will be filled with a billion gays who wear tassels in their hair. And guys like myself will have the burden of having a lot of sex with the remaining women who are still wired to want a man who treats them like shit.

I guess this is all working out quite well for me then.

I like teaching women lessons because I want to make the world a better place for men everywhere. If you got bitched by a girl but didn’t bitch her back then you’ve fucked over another man. Now he is going to have to deal with that same shit in the future since you didn’t take care of it.

Cockblocking is a good example. There are guys who don’t do anything when they get disrespected by the rude girlfriends, only ensuring that the behavior continues. Because of how I’ve handled these situations, I’m confident that I’ve stopped many cockblocks for guys in D.C. who I don’t even know.

Along this theme I want to commend Joe Francis, the owner of Girls Gone Wild, for teaching a lesson that has changed the life of a girl who made a grave mistake. If you aren’t already familiar with Joe Francis he’s known for being a dick. Check out this article from a couple years back.

Francis told the cameraman to leave and pushed her back on the bed, undid his jeans and climbed on top of her. “I told him it hurt, and he kept doing it. And I keep telling him it hurts. I said, ‘No’ twice in the beginning, and during I started saying, ‘Oh, my god, it hurts.’ I kept telling him it hurt, but he kept going, and he said he was sorry but kissed me so I wouldn’t keep talking.”

Rape or just proper bedroom technique? Scientific surveys says that 90% of rape accusations are fake, used by women to get attention or to annul slutty behavior. You should be even more skeptical of rape claims against a notorious celebrity.

Actually has a male celebrity ever been successfully charged with rape? With fame-obsessed women throwing their vaginas on them the last thing they need to do is coerce themselves on a groupie. For example if I ever get accused of rape then you know it’s bullshit.

Alright back to the lesson. Joe Francis was at a club recently talking to a random girl. That girl’s friend was model Jayde Nicole, who for whatever reason didn’t like what Joe said or did. Later while he was walking through the club alone, Jayde poured a shot on Joe’s shoulder. He then turned around, grabbed a fistful of her hair, and pulled as hard as he could, dragging her on the floor. Click here to watch the video of this incident.

And here’s a picture of the model:

Let’s do a little blow-by-blow:

0:07: Joe is walking through the club. Jayde sees him and outstretches her arm to get ready for the pour.

0:11: The shot is dumped on Joe’s shoulder.

0:13: Stunned, Joe looks around to see who grievously insulted him while Jayde retreats back to the bar trying to play off her involvement.

0:15: With a face full of fury, Joe grabs Jayde’s hair and pulls with all his might.

0:19: Joe gets jumped by men trying to defend the attacker’s honor.

0:30: Jayde stands stunned by the bar and needs to be consoled by friends. I have a feeling she didn’t expect his reaction.

1:02: Jayde is boo-hoo-hooing uncontrollably at the bar. Her friends are stroking her now-mangled coif.

Here’s what I think of the situation:

Bitch deserved it..

You can argue whether or not the punishment fit the crime, but as he did no permanent damage to her I think his response was more reasonable than not. It’s not like he pulled a Mark Wahlberg and blinded a man in an unprovoked racist attack.

If you don’t agree then I’m afraid you’re still drinking the feminist koolaid that teaches men that it’s always “wrong to hit a women.” Well it’s not always wrong to hit a woman. As a man who’s been pushed to the edge, I’m stunned at how deft women are at inciting violence, even when you’re warned them repeatedly to simmer down. I believe some women want you to hit them because they want to see you care, especially if you have an aloof, hard-to-read nature.

Do think Jayde would have attacked a man like that in a Middle Eastern country? Hell no because she knows she’d be murdered. I’m definitely not saying that’s what we need, but our culture has taught women that they can disrespect men without repercussion, and has taught men to accept that disrespect like little punks. Well there are men who haven’t bought that view and are making the world a better place by teaching women like Jayde that you can’t go around attacking men. I guarantee you she will never pour a shot on a man again in her life.

This is a problem that the American girl has in far greater proportion to other cultures….

She doesn’t listen.

She is incapable of keeping her mouth shut. She can’t sit down and digest an involved oral story with multiple threads because the hampster in her head is spinning about a related personal experience that she just must share, even though it brings no absolutely no value into the world. You can see it on her face, her lips pursed ready to speak before you’re halfway finished, having since stopped listening because she’s in a tizzy of excitement over the lame shit that’s about to rape your ears.

You’re wrong if you think this is a problem with all girls. Colombian girls for example are on the other end of the extreme and frequently have little to talk about. Since they have less “interesting” life experiences, they don’t interject every thirty seconds with nonsense. I love it when I’m telling a story to a Colombian girl and she sits there enthralled with eyes wide open, as if I’m a master storyteller worthy of a Pulitzer. And this is while I’m speaking in mediocre Spanish.

American girls respond to stories not with interest or follow-up questions but with their own stories that technically aren’t stories at all but merely incomplete anecdotes. You can tell her you went to Africa to develop a system of building cost-effective mudbrick huts for the poor and she’ll respond with “Cool, yeah I traveled last year to Thailand and it was so awesome. I love travel!” What the fuck is that?

She lives as if everything exists as a mechanism to talk about herself. It’s a frustrating phenomenon that only comes in handy when you’re spending time with the American girl you want to hate fuck and not have to bother attempting a deep conversation (i.e. 95% of the time).

Unfortunately I don’t think you’re going to be able to stop working when you’re 60-years-old and then live off the fat of the land until you die. Please consider the following questions:

Will the dollar be seriously devalued in our lifetimes?

Will Social Security and Medicare survive?

Will the cost of health care continue to go up?

Will wages keep up with inflation?

Will corporations continue to outsource middle-class service jobs to other nations?

Will the stock market provide suitable returns to your 401k?

Will the government increase taxes to make up for their haphazard spending?

And most importantly…

Will you survive to the age of retirement?

What are you going to do when (and not if), the social netting holding our parents hand into retirement falls apart? Hell, even they are going to have a harder time retiring.

That said, here is a reasonable retirement plan:

1. Save $10,000 a year.

2. Put into CD’s, gold, and a basket of foreign currencies, and nothing into the stock market casino. Forget about hefty returns and focus more on retaining what you have earned. People go to great lengths to shop around and get a good deal on a laptop or digital camera but don’t mind “investing” thousands of dollars into companies and funds they know little about

3. Get a reitirement visa at age 60 to a country that has low cost and reasonable health care, like Ecuador, Colombia, or Argentina. Countries in Southeast Asia would also be suitable.

4. Die.

If you save $10,000 a year for 30 years during your prime earning years (30-60 years old), you’ll have $300,000. Assuming it holds its value in today’s dollars (ha!) or you invested wisely, you can live comfortable in a place like Cuenca, Ecuador for 25 years at a cost of $1,000 a month. That money would last you until you’re 85, without having to depend on your incompetent government.