This post is for everyone, including me. We need to stop saying “like.” Now. We’re the only English-speaking country that uses like as a filler word and it makes us sound retarded. I cringe when I meet an American, usually a West-coaster, who uses it in every sentence. I want to shake the shit out of them and say “PLEASE STOP YOU SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT!!!” It’s distracting and serves no other purpose than to dumb down your speech. I’m all for slang though, especially English slang (to make out = snog, to like = to be keen, bang = shag, she wants cock = she’s out for it, etc.).

While I’m on this topic I have two other suggestions specifically for American girls.

1. Volume control. Why do you have to talk so loud? I’ve never had to ask an American girl to repeat herself.

2. Stop talking about yourself. No one cares about your very minor personal stories. Out of all the stories you love telling only 2% are worthy. Save the rest for amusing yourself on the bus when your IPOD runs out of batteries. After your story barrage is done and you leave the room, everyone makes fun of you.

The only potential problem American guys have is they all have the same haircut, but that doesn’t bother me.

Oh dude you left your pomade in the bathroom.

I’m never going back again. Ocean City, Maryland is superior is many ways:

-The Drunk Bus, for a last ditch attempt to get laid after the bars close
-More high school girls
-Crowded boardwalk for people watching
-Better bar venues without tattooed meathead military guys and fading cougars (though Ocean City has more white trash)
-No supersonic jets flying over you every five minutes

That jet noise, which is much louder than commercial aircraft, is due to the nearby naval base that operates 7 days a week. You had to pause your conversation every time a jet flew overhead. Now I understand how the Japanese feel.

The actual beach was alright, with ample opportunities for beach game, one of the hardest forms of game. Success at beach game, where you talk to girls on the actual beach, has eluded me even though it’s similar is concept to a form I am competent in, street game. Well this weekend I found out what beach game is:

The first thing you notice on the beach is other people’s bodies, so it would make sense that a slightly muscular body helps. If you go up to girls with a body like that, they will be very open to talking to you. A little too open. While girls were busy checking him out, I was wondering if my increasingly furry coat would make it harder for me to get a tan.

The highlight of the trip was the first night there when The Body introduced me to the drinking game Power Hour, where you drink a shot of beer every minute for an hour. It sounded easy but after 40 minutes the burping and bloating combined with some gagging made it a challenge to complete. We went to a bar afterwards where I found a chair in the corner and sat down. Three hours later, the bar closed and I got up. We didn’t play that game again.

My only regret from the trip is that we didn’t get an intimate scopes picture to cherish this beach memory forever.

Joe sent me a cartoon graphic that displays the fattest people in the world by population percentage. We are number one.

It’s surprising that a few Eastern European countries made it in the top ten. When I think Czech Republic (15%), I think of this:

Not this:

…though that may be a Brazilian flag her ass is swallowing.

Avoid English speaking countries and Mexico and you’ll do alright. The exception is Canada, which I’m guessing has thin people because it’s a barren arctic land that does not grow enough food for its predominantly Inuit population.

A German David Hasselhoff lover recently wrote 10 Common German Prejudices About The USA. I am deeply offended as an American and would like to take some time to clear the air.

“What’s with all the fast food?”

We are BUSY people. Have you looked at our GDP lately? It’s the highest in the world. You think we got there by taking the to time to cook boring meals at home? Give me animal fat and give it to me NOW. Maybe you’d be rich too if you spent your time working instead of making thick sausage or whatever it is you eat over there.

“Americans are war mongers”

The recent military operations in Iraq (both of them), Afghanistan, Panama, Kosovo, Somalia, and Grenada were all ACCIDENTS of history. We do not have imperial notions on this great Earth, and if you give honest examination to the periods between 1891 and 1897, you will see that we are a very peaceful people.

“Americans are extremely superficial…celebrity culture”

Wrong. We follow celebrities because they have achieved a level of enlightenment that commoners like you and I can only dream about. I’m talking about sex, clubbing, drugs, tell-all books, gotcha photography featuring nipples and shaved vaginas, and most importantly, FASHION. Quick: name a German-born celebrity. I thought so. If you had celebrities then you would be obsessing over their god-like status as well.

“Americans don’t give a shit about their poor people”

Now you’ve went too far. Look in any American city and you will see an area of very fine buildings that we have built EXCLUSIVELY for the poor. We give them schooling, food, and police protection, and make sure that they live far far away from the middle and upper classes, who may interfere with their admirable way of life. Poverty in the United States will be relegated to the history books as soon as we win the war on terror.

“Everything needs to be XXL (houses, cars, refrigerators, Burgers, breast implants,…)”

How’s that 300 square feet of living space in Germany doing for you? Other than the breast implants, which can be explained by evolution, we need large because our founding fathers, God rest their souls, want us to settle in a vast frontier of rich, bountiful land. Ever heard of the Homestead Act? Otherwise this land would just go to waste, and what’s the point of that? As for automobiles, I’d like to see you drive one of your fuel-efficient scooter smart cars on a real highway and see how long you survive as SUV monsters of American pride block your puny visual field.

As an American citizen, I just can’t stand by and watch as foreigners trash the country I’ve grown up in. Instead of acting out in a pointless jealous rage, I think this German should get a J-O-B so he can afford to buy one of our state-of-the-art plasma televisions. Just don’t forget to budget for the necessary Monster cables.

I’m going to assume that the author of How Feminism Destroyed Real Men has not been destroyed by feminism since his pictured wife is not a feminist (her hair is really long).

One day [women will] realise how dull and unfulfilling it is to have a man who doesn’t answer back, who offers no challenge or danger – but by then she’ll be over the hill and stuck with him for fear of being left on the shelf. Sadly, this is the state of many marriages today.

Back in the Nineties, emboldened by the successes of feminism, women sought to slay the dragon of patriarchy by turning men into ridiculous cissies who would cry with them through chick-flicks and then cook up a decent lasagne.

Sorry Nirpal, but I disagree with you here. The fault of being a beta male rests solely on the beta male. It is impossible to grow up and not observe the differences between alpha and beta male behavior, and how the lifestyle of one is clearly better than the other. It would be great if every man was born an alpha, but it really isn’t that hard to dump beta qualities like a bad habit and tack on the correct alpha ones. It just takes time and commitment. Blaming women for being beta is the same as a mother blaming her four-year-old for being spoiled when she is the one spoiling it. If you have the control to change things but don’t take the necessary steps to do so, you deserve nothing.

Nirpal gets it right in other places, but the fact that he’s married at what seems to be a young age makes me wonder if he’s had enough spinster experience to be an authority on this matter. His message boils down to “Be a dick” and “Don’t listen to what a woman says.”

But having ticked off the various items on their life checklist, women are left with a nagging sense of dissatisfaction. Where was the drama? Where was the passion? Where was the stimulation and growth?

It was all forsaken for an anodyne, materialistic shopping spree that is a Good Thing, ultimately a poor substitute for a real life. These women consider themselves to be alpha-females, but they are nothing but a pathetic sham.

The best part:

Last Christmas, my wife threw me out after discovering I’d been cheating on her. On the night we got back together, I made strong, passionate love to her. Unfaithful as I’d been, I was not going to let her have me over a barrel for the rest of our marriage. I needed to keep a sense of self and not allow her to mire me in guilt and a desperate quest of forgiveness.

I needed to let her know what she would be missing if we broke up for ever. I gave her a manful bravura performance that night, and at the height of her passion, I asked her: ‘Who’s the boss?‘

I’m tempted to call out bullshit but I really want this story to be true. I can picture what he said to his wife when she caught him: “But I’m doing this for you! For us! This drama gives our marriage stimulation and growth!” And note the “I’d been,” which implies continuous and ongoing cheating instead of a one-time slip. He’s not alpha for cheating, but he is alpha for publishing that fact in a major publication that includes his wife’s full name and picture. She is so seduced by his alphaness that she doesn’t mind the world knowing he likes to fuck around. For that he is Alpha Male Of The Month runner-up.

On the surface, it looks like sex ruins things—the dynamic changes, the energy dissipates, and the tension disappears. Sometimes the relationship lasts, but most of the time, it doesn’t.

Before sex, it’s all about showing up on time and smelling nice. The sexual tension does the rest. It helps you idealize your partner to keep you motivated and on task. I can’t be the only guy to think I’m falling in love with a girl only to lose all interest after I catch my breath. While this tension will never be as high as the moment before that first penetration, it can be maintained at a healthy level with spontaneity, unpredictability, and creativity—qualities that only come as a result of effort.

Effort. I think this culture used to be about putting in effort and hard-work back when our parents were coming up, but it’s been replaced with expectation. All of us are trained to expect things. We expect to afford a nice car and house for going to college. We expect to be entertained every day . We expect the dead person to be scraped off the road in a timely manner so that we can make yoga class. The problem with expectation is that it leads to entitlement, and entitlement leads to a lack of effort. If both of you are not putting in more effort after sex, things will fade out.

The big issue with out generation is not with getting laid (we’re in a golden era for that), but with what we believe a relationship should be. He believes beauty queens should fall from the sky if he is earning six figures and she believes Prince Charming and Funny and Ambitious should sweep her into a McMansion because she is well-read and has pretty nails. “I put in this work to get where I am, so I am entitled to an amazing partner for life. I shouldn’t have to do more.” It doesn’t work like that. Guys: you are going to have to bring more to the table than flashing your extra glossy business card and offering to take girls to expensive dinners. Girls: it’s going to take more than just looking pretty and sending text messages.

People want the best without putting in work, without sacrificing, without caring. We expect to get more than we are putting in, but ask anyone in a happy marriage how it’s really done and they will tell you it’s all about the effort. You have to care and you have to try, every single day. Good luck finding someone here under the age of 30 who understands that concept. Instead of working towards real change to increase their value, most twenty-somethings instead whine about how life isn’t fair and how bad their luck is, as if there is a concerted effort by the overlords of our universe to keep them single and unhappy. You are responsible for your romantic happiness, and no one else. If there is a problem then get off your ass and do something about it, no matter how many years it takes to solve.

But even if you are willing to put in that effort, there is no guarantee you will get back it in return. The expectation mindset is so perverse and widespread in this country that you will quickly get frustrated at the inability of your romantic interests to put in an amount of work you think is necessary for something to last. It looks like we’ve gotten to the point where modern dating is about experiencing a lot of disappointment until you finally run into someone who gives a damn and shows it.

I have been told that I don’t bring any solutions to the modern dating problem, that I just bitch and complain. The reason is because I’m pessimistic the course we’re on can be reversed within our lifetimes. But I do think about it.

Before I present my solutions to the problems of modern dating, we need to imagine a world where these problems don’t exist.

Roosh’s Dating Utopia: I want to be able to go to a leisure venue and be a man (approach) until I find a girl that I connect with. This girl will be open, affectionate, and willing to put in 50% of the effort. She will possess a healthy personality that places more value on life and pleasure than appearances and material gain. She will not have insecurities that make connecting with her on a deep level to be an impossible, teeth-pulling task. She will be sexually secure, emotionally secure, self-aware, and have a willingness to enter relationships without concern or fear for how they will end. She will live in the moment based on feeling and state instead of social norms and preconceived notions. She will not only hit my physical buttons but my emotional buttons as well, providing with me a state of mind that I cannot achieve on my own.

The American way-of-life makes the dating utopia an impossible achievement. Women fail to learn how to treat a stable and secure man, resigning him to a life of sport fucking without the strong pair-bonding that previous generations have enjoyed. That last sentence is critical: the reason I do not get into relationships is because—other than sex—relationships with the girls I meet do not give me anything I can’t get through on-and-off, low-commitment dating. It’s not the sex that leads to an end of these three-date relationships, it’s the girl’s inability to provide the man with anything more.

I believe that women should get most of the blame because they are the gatekeepers—they determine the rules of engagement and construct the dynamic that men respond to. They are the ones who have created the modern man through a basic system of reward (sex) and punishment (no sex). A man’s game and behavior is in response to women he interacts with. I do a certain move or behavior not because I was born with it, but because I learned it through experience as an adult. Since we are products of our environment, to solve the dating problem we need to re-engineer the woman by changing her environment, one that she has accepted without protest.

Solution No. 1: Regress to a society based on satisfying needs instead of consuming wants. Capitalism has created a disposable mindset that women have adopted into their relationships. “I’m just going to test this one out to see if it is perfect for me. I’m not going to get attached because maybe I’ll want to try something else.” Are we talking about shoes or men? Unless they become gluttons for disappointment, men have no choice but to return the treatment in kind, icing the dynamic for both sexes.

Solution No. 2: Other than giving women the right to vote and protecting them from abuse, stop teaching feminism, an ideology that will soon join communism in the history books as a nostalgic failure. Women were tricked by their man-hating, eternally single idols that in order to be treated better by men, they had to treat them worse. The strong man and submissive woman role that has worked for hundreds of thousands of years (the proof is your very existence) has been reassigned in a continuing experiment that goes against genetic roles and behaviors. Feminism is great for empowering women to spend most of their lives working in office buildings, but terrible at training them how to be good wives and mothers.

Solution No. 3: Stop destroying the middle class. The government’s complicit destruction of America’s manufacturing sector and drive towards globalization (i.e. imperial profit) has made it impossible for a man to raise a family on one income—to take on a role that creates stable households and balanced women who do not starve for attention and validation. The necessity for women to enter the workforce creates a lack of adult supervision in a home where two-hundred channels creates generation after generation of ADD-saddled zombie American girls who believe pleasure can only be derived from drug substances, merchandise, and wealth, not commitment, work, sacrifice, and effort. These young girls grow up with beliefs that poison male-female relations. It doesn’t help that the continuing shift of power from people to corporations and the government-led drive to foster voter apathy through secrecy and hypocrisy has created a neurotic, debt-burdened middle class that only looks forward to consuming products and obsessing over trainwreck celebrities. Girls grow up part valley-girl and part entitled princess, with a bunch of other stuff filled in with whatever’s hot in the glossy magazines

That’s how you do it. That’s how you create women who are capable of making a man happy, who will in turn makes her happy. That’s how you reverse the climbing age of marriage. That’s how you make human beings who are capable of being in an intense, fulfilling relationship for longer than three years months weeks. But no one wants to hear it because the solution doesn’t come packaged in a pill or magic diet where you can still eat all the desert you want. And no woman wants to stay home and fix buttons when she can spend money pretending to be like the one-dimensional soulless hacks she sees on television. We all reap the costs of her lifestyle.

Not all hope is lost for the American man. There are still countries in the world where the above conditions I propose still hold, where a women still values a man and understands how to serve his needs like she should. It’s our job, our duty, to get that first-hand experience to see and feel how different things can really be. No flashing cash and no flashing passports: if you worked to build yourself up to the man that you should be, all you have to do is show up. In the end there are going to be two types of men in this country. The first settles for a typical American woman who complains about his hair on the soap bar even though she resembles her mother—twenty years early. The second is the eternal bachelor, love and companion-starved, lamenting that his genes will not be passed on.

Both lose.

The following is a collaboration by five alpha males. I edited. Click here for more info.

American Culture is a powerful force in the world today. It is like a conquering army that either overthrows existing cultures and values or incites strong rebellions that seek to repel its influence. The majority of the world is trying to adopt our way-of-life while at the same time harboring resentment and blaming us for the loss of their own culture.

Resentment stems from the fact that the worst aspects of our culture are the ones most likely to be spread. In Egypt you can eat at Kentucky Fried Chicken or Pizza Hut while sitting directly across from the Great Pyramids of Giza. You can walk into a clothing store in Lebanon and watch MTV on the television while shopping for American jeans. Baywatch enjoyed a long run as the most popular TV show in Europe until, much to the dismay of Deutsche Hasselhoff fanatics, it was displaced by Jerry Springer. The American sprawl of identical houses and mega-malls is well-entrenched in Canada, and McDonalds is constantly full of young people just outside Notre Dame in Paris.

The world media, quick to criticize and quicker to demand, plays its hand shaping world opinion by painting a negative picture of the U.S. For example, once the 2004 Asian Tsunami hit, the BBC and many other media outlets not only criticized the U.S. for not contributing more aid, but also for not donating the amount pledged fast enough. Even when (at the time) the U.S. had given more money than all other countries combined, the world media still berated them for not giving enough, finding fault by comparing donation amounts to GDP numbers.

These poor perceptions of American actions both at home and abroad can be traced to jealousy. More specifically, a jealous fear of being left out of what C.S. Lewis referred to as the “inner ring.” This is a fictitious ring where we place all the people and ideas whose acceptance we want most in our lives. It’s the cool kids table, with its own set of rules and mores that is exclusive by definition. If you’re out, it’s disaster beyond belief. It’s only natural then for non-Americans to scorn our immorality, our heartlessness, our selfishness, our shallowness, our ambivalence. They hate our money, our power, and our lifestyle like a kid rolling home from school in an aged Tercel resents the preppy jock driving a Land Rover with three hot blondes laughing hard at even his lamest jokes.

Yet in the end, material wealth and loose sexual mores are not the issue. The issue is freedom. The high school dork doesn’t despise the jocks because that particular table has a marvelous view of the hallway—he despises the fact that the cool kids can sit at any table they want, including that one, or the one he’s at, or any other. When a Frenchman despises your SUV, he doesn’t really hate your choice of automobile—he resents the fact that you can get a job that pays well without funneling more than half of that money straight to the government. You can afford pompous means of motivation and he can’t. He resents the fact that you got to choose your college, even one you couldn’t afford, while he is shunted to a government-run trade school. He resents the fact that your car can hit ludicrous speeds on public highways without someone three countries over declaring it immoral and thus illegal. He resents the fact that his society is too rigid and unchanging to ever allow such freedom of individual expression.

That freedom of flexibility is what gives us our strength. Try to find good tacos in Denmark. You’ll end up having wet dreams of Taco Bell instead. You can get great tacos in every state of the Union here because it’s not Danish to eat tacos—it actively clashes with their culture. Yet can you imagine someone proposing that taco-eating is un-American? What about pizza? Or sesame chicken with extra broccoli? What makes a McDonald’s in Paris sacrilege while a Thai restaurant across from the Washington Monument unremarkable?

Therein lies the true beauty of American culture: it absorbs, it subsumes, it digests all which is great in every other culture it comes in contact with while politely leaving all the cruft and baggage behind. If something doesn’t work, it doesn’t last. We try on parts of other cultures, and if we like it, it goes in our wardrobe with everything else. And if an idea is too stuffy and uncomfortable we trash it, or snip and tailor it to something better. Nothing is sacred except the freedom that allows us to live like this, the freedom to foist crap like Baywatch on an unsuspecting world, the freedom to idealize high-powered litigation lawyers, half-naked slut starlets and high-school dropout billionaires with the same aplomb.

But drawbacks to our dog-eat-dog world of material wealth and consumption is obvious through travel. In Europe you’ll marvel at how elegant, playful, sexy, and approachable their women are. You’ll be confused that a mixed group of guys and girls at a club will openly welcome you to join them in partying festivities instead of interrogating you about who you work for or what your political affiliation is. You’ll be delighted by the awesome, historical architecture; mesmerized by wandering alleys with cool, hidden retail and commercial corners; smitten with the laid-back attitude and sexually cavalier lifestyle. You finally ask yourself: “Why the fuck do I live in America when I can have all this?!?” Tacos and Thai, or hot Danish girls that make all your sexual dreams come true?

Then all of a sudden it’s not just France and the contemptuous Frenchman. You need to find a working ATM? Oh shit—the nearest one is in Buda, and you’re across the Danube in Pest. You’re craving mac and cheese? Too bad—every restaurant in Prague has only one item on its menu: slop. You need a toothbrush, rubbers, and detergent at 4AM? Fuck you—there is no 24-hour CVS in Barcelona. Want a quick meal and drink under $10? Eat shit—literally, in London for $25. And there, in London, you realize how great this country is. Except for the Danish girls, it just doesn’t get any better.