Before I started traveling I was reluctant to believe some races of men are more highly desired by women than others. Growing up in multi-cultural DC, I’d see white guys, black guys, and Latinos all getting with reasonable-looking girls in the clubs. I did notice that Asian guys only got with Asian girls, but otherwise I believed that for the most part all men are created equal.

I was a little naive.

After having lived abroad for more than 18 months, I see there is a very clear totem poll of male desirability. I used to think that my game was all that I needed to outperform any man, but unfortunately many foreign girls are so crazy about certain physical features that I have to work like a mule in some areas of the world.

Before you call me a racist for sharing these thoughts, keep in mind that this isn’t what I think is desirable, but what I’ve observed others to find attractive.

Let’s start with the ranking for men, from most desirable to least desirable. If you placed a handsome representative from each category in a lineup and let the world’s women pick their favorite, here’s who would get the most votes:

1. European men with darker, sultry features from countries like Spain, Italy, Portugal, and France
2. Northern European men with light features from countries like Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Netherlands, and Norway
3. Western men with medium features from countries like England, United States, Australia, Canada, and Ireland
4. Middle Eastern men with darker but slightly rougher features from countries like Turkey, Greece, Morocco, Iran, and Algeria
5. Latino men from countries like Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, and ones in Central America
6. Arab men from countries like Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Jordan
7. African men
8. Southeast Asian men from countries like Thailand, Philippines, Indonesia
9. Indian men
10. Asian men from countries like Korea, China, Taiwan

Where do we place men that don’t exactly fall within an category? In many cases there is some mixing and matching. Israeli men would probably fare better than your average Middle Eastern man. German and Russian men would go a notch above Western men. And Colombian, Argentine, and Brazilian men would hover around the Western and Middle Eastern categories. Personally I’d put myself mostly in category four (I have a big Turkish face and a Chewbacca complexion). I don’t feel my background affecting my pussy-getting ability unless I’m hanging out with a guy in one of the first two categories.

An interesting group is African-American men. Their African ancestry suggests they would be viewed slightly unfavorably, but thanks to cultural forces that display then as cool, progressive, and dangerous, they do better than Latino men. They can thank MTV and Hollywood.

I cannot answer the why to this list. I don’t know why Asian and Indian men are not highly desired the world over. It’s true that those guys on the bottom of the list have to work much harder than guys at the top, but that’s life. Count your blessings that you’re a man, where appearance issues can be overcome with things like game, status, lifestyle, and gimmicks. One of my best friends is an Indian man with some status and he consistently dates cute white girls, so I know it’s not a death sentence.

How about if we did the list for women? It’d be similar to the mens list but with a couple changes:

1. Northern European women (+1 movement)
2. European women (-1)
3. Western women (no change)
4. Latina women (+1)
5. Middle Eastern women (-1)
6. Southeast Asian women (+2)
7. Asian women (+3)
8. Arab women (-2)
9. Indian women (no change)
10. African women (-3)

Northern European women take the top spot (men are crazy for fair features). There was some shuffling in the bottom half of the list where Asian women got a healthy boost at the expense of Arab, Indian, and African women. Like with the men, Colombian, Argentine, and Brazilian women would be placed around categories three and four.

Why are Asian women viewed more favorably than their male counterparts? It’s because they are seen as submissive and compliant, qualities that make for a good partner. Plus Asian genetic features are more pleasing on the feminine form. And how about African-American women—do they see a boost like with African-American men? I don’t see that. Media portrayals have not been kind to them—they are shown to be combative and promiscuous. There are some exceptions to their perception (Ethiopian women fare rather well in being desired by men), but unless the African girl has a shade like Halle Berry or Tyra Banks, she will have trouble competing with other women higher on the list.

A good yard stick is the mail order bride industry. What countries do men want to purchase women from? Asian countries, Slavic countries, and some Latin countries. You do not see mail order brides coming out of Egypt, India, or Africa. These women who are at the bottom of the list are at a severe disadvantage. They can pretty themselves to land a quality man in their category, but it will be very hard for them to upgrade unless they possess exceptional beauty or lower their standards (e.g. Indian girl dating a pasty white nerd). Again, life isn’t fair.

You can use knowledge of the first list to find countries you’ll be well-received in—simply visit a place where the local man is several rungs lower than yourself. Religion may be factor (no one gets laid in Arab countries unless they pay for it), but if you’re in the middle of the list you may want to try Africa or Asia before you blow your wad in Spain or Italy. Call it pussy arbitrage.

One final note is to keep in mind that scarcity can increase your value. An Indian or Asian man in Denmark won’t do as bad as you might think due to how exotic he would be. (Partly for this reason black guys have found themselves quite a niche in places like Sweden and Germany.) If I go to Finland or Iceland I know my darker features will help get my foot in the door with many curious women, but I’m not going to kid myself—I’ll still need game to seal the deal.

A fellow American I met in my Belo Horizonte had an odd complaint about me: he said I talked “too much” about girls. I scratched my head because the only two safe topics that you can talk about with just about any guy in the world are sports and pussy. What else am I going to talk about? Art? Style? I wondered if he was homo. Did my gaydar fail yet again like it did really late at night with that Colombian guy?

Yes, yes it did.

He eventually told me, “Dude, I’m gay,” as if he was annoyed I didn’t figure it out on my own. It wasn’t obvious anyway—I’ve met straighter guys who acted more gay than he did.

One morning we got to talking at the dining room table and I asked him when he realized he was a homersexual. He said, “I didn’t know until really late. In college I tried to date girls but had trouble connecting with them. After college I couldn’t even get dates. I thought something was wrong with me. Then I experimented with a guy and it felt more natural. It felt right. It’s so much easier for me to meet men than women.”

“Do you catch or pitch?” I asked, in the most empathetic tone possible. “You know it sucks when you’re gay because only one guy is getting the pleasure.”

“I like to receive, but you know what… it is very pleasurable. I love receiving. Mmmm very very good.”

“Okay I’m going to watch some porn on my computer now.”

Let’s put his story through the Roosh Translator™:

“I was tired of being a virgin.”

How many men are there in America whose failure with women made them “realize” they were a homosexual? Thousands, I’d estimate. These are guys too disillusioned with the American female to put the game work needed to penetrate their holes. Guys who concluded that these girls are not worth the effort, and that they rather get banged in the butt than deal with them or figure them out. I have a feeling these gay boys had gay tendencies before their conversion, but how many guys in Brazil converted to homosexuality because they couldn’t get laid? Colombia? Russia? Italy? Significantly less, I imagine.

How many other guys have given up on dating and rely solely on prostitutes? And how many others put their cock in a lockbox until they can fly away to bang foreign pussy? These guys are withdrawing themselves from the dating market, making it even harder for the educated middle-class American woman to find a partner with the same socioeconomic background as her own. The problem that only exists for African-American women (finding a long-term mate within their race), will now become one for white women as well.

I know some American girls are cool, sexy, and attractive, but that small percentage is shrinking to where living in a city of a million people is no guarantee you’ll find one. If you have then great job, but most guys are not as lucky, something that seems to be a growing factor these days. As a whole, American women are deficient in so many areas that men are choosing homosexuality instead. I wonder what this means for the future of the white American race.

South American girls don’t drink nearly as much as American girls. When I was in clubs down there I’d imagine how much easier my job would be if they didn’t nurse their drinks. How many more bangs I would have if they didn’t average only two or three for the entire night!

When guys asked me what the deal was in getting with foreign girls, I complained about their slow drinking and how it was harder to get down to business. But was I really getting more in the States because the girls there drank more?

I don’t like to make conclusions with looking at the data, so I reflected on circumstances surrounding the first times I had sex with American girls. First thing I immediately realized was that I never banged a girl who was trashed or shit-faced. This is probably because drunk girls are almost impossible to game. They can’t maintain a conversation, can’t stand straight, and are like retards in how they process stimuli. I believe guys perceive them as easy because they are nearly unconscious and will not be able to put up a strong fight on the way to a bedroom.

(If you want to look at how cockblocking evolved here, look no further than the drinking habits of American girls. If there wasn’t a cockblocking mentality then there’d be a million rapes every weekend because so many of these girls are too immature and stupid to ensure their safety by not drinking to the point of blacking out. They need to babysit each other like little children up until at least their late 20′s. But it’s when girls unnecessarily cockblock, which they do out of habit, that provokes annoyance and sometimes anger from men like myself.)

For my study I chose a sample size of five American and five South American girls I most recently banged and rated them on their drunkenness at the time of initial penetration. Here’s the scale I used:

1: Completely sober.
2: Two drinks. More outgoing and chatty.
3: Tipsy. More flirty with slower movements.
4: Very tipsy. Eyes closing, problems speaking.
5: On the verge of passing out or puking.

Let’s start with the American girls first.

American Girl A: She was drunk enough that The Rookie almost got some right after me. Score: 4
American Girl B: Mostly sober. She kept saying “I don’t usually do this.” Score: 2
American Girl C: She had a few strong drinks. I noticed her speech ability decrease slightly. Score: 3
American Girl D: Sweated out much of the alcohol by dancing. No obvious sign of intoxication. Score: 2
American Girl E: Just a tad tipsy, but otherwise very coherent. Score: 2

Average American score: 2.6

Now for the South American girls.

S.A. Girl A: She was very tipsy when I met her, but the night I hit she only had two drinks. Score: 2
S.A. Girl B: She walked nearly half a mile to my place without any difficulty. Score: 2
S.A. Girl C: We had a glass of wine and then fell asleep. We woke up a couple hours later, completely sober, and did the dirty for the first time. Score: 1
S.A. Girl D: I bought a lot of booze in the hopes of getting her drunk, but she didn’t even finish the first drink. Score: 1
S.A. Girl E: Did it the morning when we were completely sober. Score: 1

Average South American score: 1.4

My sample set says that, on average, American girls are twice as intoxicated as South American girls when I have sex with them. Since these aren’t standardized for time, I cannot firmly conclude that girls who drink more are easier (though I think it’s safe to accept), but I can conclude that American girls are more comfortable having sex under the influence. Alcohol is more of a sex lubricant to American girls while for South American girls it’s dancing or simply nothing.

South America was the first place where I’d kiss or fuck girls who were completely sober. Developing game in the United States I had a belief that alcohol was essential to intimacy, but I understand now that it’s a cultural phenomenon, albeit one that cannot be ignored. While you don’t need to get American girls drunk to fuck, you should drink to connect with them at night. You can cover your sobriety by lying about how you’re the designated driver or what have you, but truth is no girl wants to fuck the designated driver. In South America you can take a girl for a walk in the park and then hit for the first time. I’m not exaggerating.

I used to think beauty was beauty, and a girl either had it or not. I was describing the genetic quality of a woman’s beauty—her face, hair, and body type. Assuming a girl doesn’t overdo it with the Haagen Dazs, she will score high on innate beauty if a psychologist measures her face for symmetry and proportion.

I spent a lot of time Argentina, a place where genetic beauty was very high, but wasn’t too crazy about the women. One big reason was because they were lacking in two other components that make up true beauty, which are needed to predict how hard a man will chase for sex.

The first is femininity, and describes her appearance. Is she wearing high heels and makeup? Or is she wearing dirty Converse shoes and a cheap summer dress? Are her clothes snug, revealing her curves? Or does she look sloppy with baggy jeans? Is her hair long? Or did she cut it because she was too lazy to maintain it? While a girl can’t change genetics, she has complete control over how feminine she appears.

Recently I went with my mother to visit her female doctor. Judging by the graduation date from the diploma hanging on her wall, the doctor was in her late 30′s, but looked to be almost the same age as my mom. Her hair was completely gray (she doesn’t dye it), she had no makeup on, and dressed like a menopausal woman. She moved like an old man. Someone who interacts with dozens of people a day was ugly in just about every way except for her intelligence, and has absolutely no pride in how she presents herself to the world. Unfortunately Western cultures are trending towards punishing women for appearing too feminine in the fear that they might be perceived as weak, dependent, and “girly.” At the same time men are punished for being too masculine, resulting in an androgynous archetype that both sexes overlap with (in America it’s common for some straight guys to be confused as gay, and some straight girls to be confused as dykes).

The final component is sexuality. It’s all the behaviors a woman does, consciously or not, that announces to other men her fertility and ability in the bedroom. It’s how she walks, how she looks at you, how she dances, and the minute changes she makes to her mouth while listening to you. It’s the things that make a man bite his lip and vow to do anything to get her. It’s the overall vibe that makes her a sexual animal and worth killing for (in prehistoric time, anyway). In my opinion this is the most important component of beauty because it takes the longest to get bored of. You can take for granted a girl’s pretty face and painted toenails in a week or two, but the magic at which she gets your dick rock hard can last years.

To put things in perspective, let’s compare the three components with four different cultures: America, Colombia, Argentina, and Brazil. Each has scores that range from 0 (lowest) to 10 (highest).

Even with my overly generous rating of Americans, they are still half the women of Colombians and Argentines, and a third of the Brazilians. While Brazilian women are on average not the prettiest in South America, they blow away their counterparts in the other categories. When American women look like men (I predict this will happen in 50 years), a sound option for American guys will be to move to Brazil working on some oil rig or as Amazonian logger.

Having a girl with high genetic beauty and femininity is nice because your conquest is constantly validated with others staring at her, but this gets old after a short while. If you’re going for long-term happiness and pleasure then she needs to have that high sexuality score. If you’re in a country where sexuality is punished, or the women simply don’t have the knowledge or capacity to be sexual, then I think you already know what you have to do.

PREVIOUSLY: Part One

Fast forward three days later. The memory of the Mexican girl is fading and I’m in my top bunk trying to get over a bad cold when a Brazilian girl checks in.

I thoroughly checked her out while she was bending over to store her things and deemed her nothing special. The Mexican girl had a better overall face and body, but of course the Brazilian had a better ass.

I found out later that night she doesn’t speak any English, so I took it as an opportunity to practice my Portuguese. She was nice and allowed me to mangle her language while correcting my horrible pronunciation, and since so few gringos speak Portuguese I earned 1,000 bonus points for being able to communicate in her native tongue. During our conversation I concluded that her appearance was homely but not ugly—she was simply a plain girl you’d see anywhere, not worth a second look if you caught sight of her on the street.

While we talked I noticed she had a peculiar stare. She’d squint her eyes ever so slightly and part her lips just a hair, a sensual look you’d expect during intimacy and not in a casual conversation. I like to think this was an unconscious gesture on her part and not something to “game” me, but then again at some point in her life she must’ve realized that it has an effect on real men.

She asked me if I was going out and I told her I was going to be a loser and stay in, as the next day I was meeting an old flame and wanted to be as vigorous as possible for the sex that would likely ensue. She then began to get ready, and like a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly, she literally transformed.

First she showered her body. Her hair stayed dry in it’s already perfect state, long to the small of her back, soft and feathery like you’d see in a Pantene Pro-V shampoo commercial. After changing in a short black dress that came halfway up her thighs, she escaped to the bathroom with a brush and returned ten minutes later, suggesting that hair like hers is no trivial matter to maintain. I don’t think she’ll ever get an ugly bob cut like an American girl, who works forty hours a week pushing papers that contribute nothing to the progress of the world but is too lazy to spend a few extra minutes a day on her hair.

She then got out her compact and began applying makeup. She put on a dark rouge to stand out against her olive skin, glossy lipstick to match, and thick eyeliner which made her eyes look twice as big. You can imagine what that did to her stare and it’s here I noticed that my breathing picked up in speed. She slipped into five-inch heels that highlighted her freshly painted toenails, a bold orange color that matched her fingernails, so fresh in appearance it had to have been done just a day or two prior. I really have no idea how she could walk in those heels but she made it look effortless, like she practiced often starting from a young age. If they killed her feet I doubt she would let a man know.

(Speaking of heels, not once have I seen a Brazilian girl take off her heels and then put on sneakers for the bus or subway ride home after work. It’s because they don’t do things that purposefully make them look like an idiot. If you can’t wear attractive footwear because they hurt your feet or are hard to walk in, then maybe you should get a stay-at-home job instead of embarrassing yourself in public. Either do it right or don’t do it at all.)

She walked in and out of the dorm room to the bathroom, and the girl I witnessed earlier in the day was gone, replaced by this sexual creature I’d do all that I could to bang. I’d happily spend hours in the club with her, dancing, touching, and drinking for a chance to violate her body. I believe any man would. While her genetic appearance was only average, she has figured out that by maximizing her look she can gain the attentions of men like myself who resist chasing average women. It’s true that my interest may not carry over after sex, but at least she has a chance at hooking a man, for a woman who can’t even get sexual attention is already dead in the water. Tight game for men is words and a cocky attitude, while for women it’s looks and a playful attitude. I don’t know why this is so hard for Westerners to understand.

The Brazilian girl didn’t leave right away—she had to wait for a friend who was staying in the bunk above hers to return. She sat down on her bed and then very slowly and deliberately started putting lotion on her long legs. They did not have mosquito bites or mountain bike bruises and cuts like the gringas in the dorm next door. By now I’ve already run out of my good Portuguese and had nothing more to say, frustrating to a man who in English can talk to a wall for five hours nonstop without interruption.

She’s stroking her legs and I’m catching this from the corner of my eye, rubbing my beard roughly at the torture I was witnessing. Then she does the inexplicable: she lays down on her bed while dangling her legs and feet (heels still on) over the bunk’s wooden ledge. Her dress snaked down to the very top of her thigh where it meets with her body and only two more inches until her vagina would be in plain view. Her hair is splayed across the bed and she’s inspecting her finger nails and it got too hot for me so I stopped out for a couple minutes to get some air. She left soon after.

The next day she looked average again but I saw her differently. Loose jeans covered her body but I didn’t forget the ass in the black skirt that bent over to retrieve feminine hygiene products from the locker. She had a plain t-shirt on but I didn’t forget the way her back curves into the meaty part of her hips. Her hair was up in a bun but I could still pick apart its thickness and length. My attraction for her didn’t decrease because I knew in a couple hours time she’d transform back to what aroused me.

Here’s a business idea for a Brazilian woman out there: write a book called “Why Brazilian Women Get All The Men,” in the spirit of “French Women Don’t Get Fat.” Teach Western girls to look their best at all times, to know how to maintain eye contact with a man, how to move, how to properly laugh at a man’s jokes, and how to exercise the ass. An entire chapter must be dedicated to ass exercises. Teach them to forget about being witty or snarky or funny or “intelligent,” as those things decrease attraction instead of increasing it. Teach them well so that when I go to an American bar I don’t see average girls with chipped nail polish, flip flops, masculine movements, and a generally sloppy appearance—I see a sexual creature that I want to get to know, possibly for more than one night.

Jersey Shore is a brilliant anthropological look at modern game because it puts together a bunch of shallow, horny people who love to go out and hook up. Compare this to the typical Real World snoozefest where you have more “balanced” characters like the emo doofus who couldn’t pick up a girl if his life depended on it and the angry black man who is more interested in debating than getting laid.

I would like to rate the game of the four guys who are on the show, from worst to best.

4. Vinny

This guy added very little value. No one hated him, no one loved him, and he merely existed to make an occasional comment that got token laughter, feeding off the others instead of getting his own vibe pushed into the storyline. His energy wasn’t bad and I actually didn’t mind his fist pumps in the club but he never seemed to make a play on any decent girl. The first girl he hooked up with was his boss’ girl and then he tried to go for his roommate’s sister. This is what guys with no game do—shit where they eat. And then his Atlantic City bitch gets embarrassingly ganked by Mike, who shouldn’t be faulted for it because he knew like I knew that Vinny had zero hope of sealing the deal. His main purpose is to fill up space.

Bottom Line: Vinny has no game. He needs to take a workshop or something, but then again he’s only 21. I’m sure he’ll be fine in a few years.

3. Ronnie

Ronnie was almost as boring as Vinny. He lacked Mike’s charm and wit and was always logical, complaining about nonsense or calling out someone for trivial matters instead of playing the diplomat. His cackle laugh is obnoxious and fake but he does have the ability to crack a decent joke every now and then. The basic strategy of his game is to show up looking “fresh,” do that crunk dance he learned from watching Rize, and then not open his mouth too much.

Most of the work in getting laid for him is indeed his muscles and hair. This was obvious when Sammi repeatedly said how “hot” he was, and initially with her it wasn’t his personality that did the heavy lifting. His energy in the club is good with his dance moves and because he’s laid back without showing too much interest I’m pretty sure he has banged a few girls in the past.

Unfortunately there is heavy degradation to his game once he gets into a relationship. He kept saying gag-on-a-spoon things stitched together from bad movies like, “I thought the shore was the best thing to happen to me….. but you are,” and “I don’t know what it is about you, but I could kiss you all day.” But since these dumb lines come after sex, I wonder how much it really affects his pussy-getting ability.

Even though I’m sure Ronnie would demolish me in a fight, he came across as a needy little bitch, chasing around Sammi who’s only somewhat decent after fixing herself up for three hours. She had the ham arms, a lackluster buddy, and the most annoying personality on the show.

Bottom Line: His game is only looks, and with that he can only get stupid girls who are less pretty than he is handsome.

2. Pauly D

Pauly has the elements of tight game simmering somewhere underneath. There is no reason he shouldn’t pull every night but frankly he was unable to live up to his potential. He needs to look alive, lower his standards a bit, and approach more instead of waiting for Mike to get shit going. In fact for most of the show he basically rode Mike’s coattails. Otherwise he’s cool, aloof, knows how to dance, has interesting hobbies to bring up in conversation, and is cocky but not too cocky where it borders on caricature like Mike. These selected Pauly quotes reveal that his mind is in the right place:

“I’m just trying to roll with it.”

“I have a game plan… I don’t want to waste my time.”

“My girl was fucking busted… I was just trying to go with the flow.”

His constant talk about high standards is probably bullshit because he did put in a significant amount of time into the Israeli girl who was mediocre at best. I find that guys who constantly harp on standards usually use it as an excuse to not approach, as you always see them later with average girls. Mike has lower standards but with the sheer quantity of girls he’s getting with it’s a guarantee that a hot girl will slip into the rotation every now and then.

One important thing Pauly needs to do is be more persistent. He had J-Wow on his bed peeping at his cock but he didn’t even try to get her shirt off or play with her boobs. I know she had a boyfriend at the time and probably wouldn’t fuck them that night, but his chill vibe may be a little too chill, and he needs to give a damn when it’s time to close the deal.

Bottom Line: Pauly has the right mindset and some good moves but he needs to step up in order to realize his true potential.

1. Mike “The Situation”

You gotta admit that Mike has personality and charm. Sure he’s cheesy and over-the-top, but behind his outrageous cockiness there is a wink and a nod that it’s a tough guy act and he’s an alright cat behind that. Now while he is very good at building attraction, it’s obvious that he has a tough time closing the deal. One of the reasons it that he was way too obsessed with that fucking jacuzzi. Bro you use the jacuzzi to get them to your house but once there say it’s broken. Man has gotten laid well before the jacuzzi and will continue to do so if jacuzzis cease to exist. There was also the big late-game mistake he made when he ordered greasy pizza with the sluts he brought home, an amateur move usually played by guys who just graduated from college.

For some reason he counts his chickens before they hatch, having a “I’ll fuck her when I want” mindset that obviously doesn’t work. Still, I think he has the right attitude with girls that he just wants to sleep with as he even admitted many times that it’s a numbers game. He probably did get rejected the most on the show (let’s give him a pass on that embarrassing bitterness business with Sammi), but then again he kissed the most girls and had the most bangs. In the end it’s the results that matter as there are no style points in fucking.

The fact that he banged that cute girl raw dog in the jacuzzi should leave no doubt that he’s a true player. Gotta get that notch no matter what!

Bottom Line: Mike is charismatic, fun, and has the right game mindset, though he could tighten up his deal-sealing technique. Despite his gay stripper vibe he was the most consistent and therefore has the best game.

Note how the guys had a “whatever” attitude towards phone numbers. They’re all about the same night and if you want to fuck a lot of girls then that’s how it’s done.

One of the reasons I enjoyed this show is because it reminded me of how Virgle Kent and I run game in D.C. While the background and people are different, the elements are the same: same-night pulls, grenade jumping, street game, muscles, random make-outs, alcohol-fueled drama, fights, stalking, cockblocking, and so on. I especially enjoyed the scenes where the guys extracted girls back to the house because it’s there I could identify a lot of mistakes they were making when it came time to close, a couple of which I mentioned above.

In a bar you can have a dozen girls thinking about banging you but if you don’t have a plan to ease just one away from the friends into a bedroom then you won’t get a lot of bangs. The first part of learning game is about building attraction, but then you have to master logistics, of being persistent and cool in herding her to the bedroom. Otherwise you’ll just have a stack of phone numbers.

For the most part the guys on the show have the attraction part nailed, but it’s the logistics that cost them quite a few notches. Divide and conquer, isolate and bang. When building attraction becomes automatic for you, the game becomes one of timing and logistics.

My roommate from Denmark was locked out of his room the other day and waited in the kitchen for the landlord to deliver a spare key. I cooked dinner in the meanwhile and we got to talking. At some point he asked me, “Why are you here?”

—

“Everyone keeps asking me that and I wish I had a quick, powerful answer, but it comes down to two things: wanting to explore, something I think most men want to do, and wanting to get away from the American way of life. I really can’t say which one motivates me more to be here.

“In America you go to college, which you’re told is supposed to be the most fun years of life, and then you get a job taking orders from some pencil dick in this grand mission to chase money and accumulate stuff. I don’t need stuff—all I need in life is a laptop and good speakers. I’ll be happy anywhere because it’ll keep me busy. I can write, read, listen to music, stay in touch with friends and family… I don’t need more than that. Now I date girls young enough who think that type of lifestyle is ‘cool,’ but if I ever want to have a family some day I’ll probably have to make some changes.

“I don’t want to work 40 hours a week doing the same thing to be insulted with a 3% raise and a pat on the head every year. I don’t want to count down the days to the weekend where I punish my liver because my week was so lifeless. I don’t want to wait until Saturday to take a book to a coffee shop and lose track of time. In college they should sit you down on your first day and say: ‘Ladies and gentleman, your mission in life is to make the days of the week irrelevant.’ What day is today? I don’t know. Days of the week are bar and club names for me now, places I know are good. Sunday: Casa Rosa. Wednesday: Casa da Matriz. Thursday: Democratica. Saturday: Rio Scenarium. I feel like I’ve made it because I don’t care what day it is.

“Americans are lazy but they’re not. When it comes to money they’ll work like fucking mules. You’ll never see someone put in as many hours as an American, kiss ass like an American. They’ll do anything to make that extra dollar to get that plasma television or dine in some frou-frou restaurant that got a good review by some idiot on the internet. They’ll grin and take it in the ass when the boss asks them to stay in on Saturday morning a month before performance reviews are due. They will work and barely complain when you tell them they can’t take a long vacation. Hell, even if you give them a lot of time off they wouldn’t know what to do with it. They’ll take a trip to the Caribbean or some pre-programmed cruise to be trapped with a bunch of whales, one handshake from projectile diarrhea.

“When it comes to anything else Americans don’t want to lift a finger. I mean look at heath care. Americans think it’s pills and MRIs. Why aren’t many people connecting the dots between the American diet and health care? Americans eat like pigs, look like pigs, get sick with diabetes, heart disease, god knows what else, and then complain that health care is too expensive. Their lifestyle makes it expensive. Don’t get me wrong I believe the government should provide free health care for its citizens, but exercising four times a week is my health care. Eating vegetables, cooking all my meals, avoiding junk food, drugs, stress—that’s my health care. I probably spend more hours a week on my health than on making money. Americans don’t cook or simply take care of themselves because they’re too tired from making money. They want to pop pills with side effects to keep eating ‘comfort’ food and sit on their asses. After putting in a tough eight hours or more with the man that’s all they have the energy to do.

“And the women… ‘I don’t need a man. I’m independent. I don’t need a man, I got my own money, my own job. I don’t need a man.’ The result is that an American girl thinks it’s weakness to show a man how much she needs him. I don’t know if you had a corporate job in Denmark, but dating an American woman is like dealing with coworkers. They’re very careful with what they say. Every laugh is meticulously orchestrated—she must’ve laugh too hard now or you may think she thinks you’re funny. Every word’s use was analyzed and judged—she mustn’t show too much interest because that’s weakness. ‘Shit I just showed too much interest I have to be cold now—let me make fun of him about something.’ I’m lucky I’ve spent enough time down here to know that that simply isn’t real. That’s not how women, as in women of the human race, really are. Those American girls are basically programmed to be more distant than their nature. And they wonder why they’re so unhappy. Nature is a powerful thing, and you’ll always lose when you go against it.

“The other night I went out with this Brazilian girl. Very cute girl, a few years younger than me. It was our second date and we went out to some gringo bar and after our first drink she looks at me and says, ‘If you were leaving back to America right now, I’d come with you. I’d take a chance and do it.’ Other Brazilian girls have done and said similar ‘weak’ things, and Colombian girls as well. And that’s real, because the nature of a woman is she needs a man. These girls here understand that. They don’t hide it, and I don’t punish them for it. A girl that knows she needs a man, that that’s the point of her existence, will treat men very well. She’ll pleasure him, make him happy, hold onto him a little tighter at night. You think an American girl will ever say something like that?! If I tell an American girl some of the things that the girls down here have said to me, she’ll be shocked, ‘But but that goes against the book! They’re showing too much interest! They’re showing weakness!’

“You remember that American girl I brought back a couple weeks ago? Okay I know I’m in Brazil and fucking an American girl looks bad, but truth is American girls have become perfectly designed for easy, meaningless sex. It’s like one step above jerking off… no emotions, just business—like getting with a prostitute. It takes just three hours to get them in bed, and you’re fucking her for the first time and she says cunt this, cock that, like she’s in a porno movie, because she watches that too. I just met the bitch and she’s moaning that she likes how much I’m beating her pussy up! Look that’s fun, like how jerking off with your left hand is fun, but it’s not normal. A normal girl will be quiet the first time, will be self-conscious, will wonder if she’s pleasing you properly or not.

“The Western culture has broken the women. A girl wakes up and she’s 30 and has no man and no hope for a man, yet she already passed on several who didn’t give her the tinglies or butterflies in her stomach or whatever the fuck term she uses. Because of course the culture gave them this sense of entitlement as well, to think that with mediocre looks and ten extra pounds they can get a hot stud like they see in the magazines in line at the grocery store. And then they get old and have to compete with younger and prettier girls. They can’t win. They won’t. So what do they do? They throw themselves on young guys who still value older women as ‘experienced’ and ‘mature.’ But those guys age and get a clue, and then you see the woman going on 40, working hard at the gym, desperately trying to fight the sag, bragging that she fucked this college guy. What a miserable existence.

“My parents aren’t American but in the end I’m a product of that culture and it takes a lot of time and effort to fight the programming —to do what nature intended you to do. Unfortunately I think I’ll always be tethered to America. My family is there and I can’t even talk to my mom on the phone without her guilting me into coming back and taking care of her, even though she doesn’t need taken care of. I don’t know… I’m going to go back and the first month is going to be great with my family, and my friends, and then after that they’ll be nothing for me. I don’t fit in there, and I don’t exactly fit in anywhere else either. What am I going to do in the States—get an American girlfriend? Get a 9-5? Fuck that. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

The most optimal game depends on two things: the nature of the women and the culture they reside in. But since women are deeply affected by culture, we can say that it’s really culture that determines the type of game you need to use.

Once you understand the culture, you can devise a game that works in that culture (and that culture alone). Some pieces of game can be shifted around, but not all. For example cocky game works great in the United States, but less so in Colombia. It is more effective in Argentina, but not as much in Brazil. Why is that?

Cocky game was made for confident girls. Since American girls are much more confident, we’d expect it to have a strong effect. On the other hand the girls of Colombia and Brazil are rather needy and insecure. Cocky game is too hard for them, and therefore should be used sparingly, if at all (anything past light teasing will decrease attraction instead of increasing it). The girls of Argentina think they’re European, and with that comes an increase in confidence where you’d see more utility with the cocky vibe.

Instead of throwing yourself into the fire and trying a bunch of random things in a new country, it’s wiser to understand facets of how that culture works and then work your way backwards. Let’s do that with Colombia, which has two main cultural differences that greatly affect how you play the game.

1. Cell Phone Use. Charges are borne on those making the call, not receiving them, so everyone there answers their phone. No one wants to have to call the person back because making calls is very expensive (40 cents a minute). No one leaves a voicemail, and if you leave one it’s a guarantee it won’t be checked promptly. Text messaging is also comparatively expensive, and not frequently used by those who aren’t Americanized. Service is not as reliable and messages can arrive hours late.

Most people never make calls with their cell phone. They go to independent minuto celular vendors located on most street corners to make calls at a cheap rate, usually because they have empty balances on their cell phone and can only receive calls. They are also very slow to recharge their balance. Every time someone calls you it will probably be from a new number, so therefore there is no call screening in Colombia. Girls answer their phone most of the time when you call.

Optimal Game: When you get a girl’s phone number, do not text message her and do not leave voicemails. Call her in 2-4 days and if she doesn’t answer then the correct play is to keep calling back once a day. Leaving a text message may not get a response if she has no money in her balance so setting dates via text is not advised. If she’s not answering it’s because she’s genuinely busy, not because she is screening, since the strange number could be her cousin for all she knows.

Interesting Twist: Email game plays here. I’ve set dates with email relatively easily. MSN Messenger is also popular, but it’s a rather time-consuming way to set a date and I avoid it since you both have to catch each other online at the same time.

2. Family. Family is the most important part of Colombian life. Every girl lives at home with her parents, and they require details of her social life (including potential suitors). Even if she’s in her 20′s, she needs permission to go out. It’ll be common for one of her parents to call her during your date. She also has a curfew which means she cannot stay out late. You usually don’t have enough time to take her out and then return to your love dungeon for a lengthy bedroom seduction.

Optimal Game: The home dinner date. It’s the most reliable way of getting a girl into your house and boozed up in a short amount of time. Be sure to cook a light meal without a lot of grease so the alcohol absorbs properly (I recommend a basic chicken stir-fry with rice). Since you don’t have to move locations, you can bang her without going over her curfew. You generally can’t do two dinner dates in a row so only use it when you’re at least 50% certain she’s ready to bang (preferably after you’ve made out with her). I’ve done more dinner dates in Colombia in six months than in the United States the previous five years.

Interesting Twist: If you have a poor girl on your hands, she may ask you for taxi money back home.

A third dimension which I’ll just briefly mention is social circle. There is no nighttime pick-up culture in Colombia as girls hang out in huge mixed-set groups, so the optimal game will involve more daytime approaches at malls and universities.

I’m tempted to add Catholicism. Brainwashing from the church causes girls here to give robust resistance in the bedroom, but since the optimal game remains the same (persistence) there really is no need to describe it in-depth.

If you just understand the cell phone and family differences in Colombia, you’ll be well ahead of other gringos in banging the girls there. There are others which I will discuss in the future, but these two are the most important.

When you want to bang abroad, you’ll save yourself a lot of grief if you step back and see how the culture functions. How is the belief system different? What are some common things you see differently from your own country? What are the personalities and behaviors of guys who have the hot women? Then devise a few tactics that may be more suitable for your new environment and try them out.

But how about if you don’t have enough time in your visit to study cultural nuances and just want to get your flag? Then throw efficiency out the window and approach like a machine with the game you know. And hope for best.