The Seduction Bible is throwing a weekend retreat / seminar in the Dominican Republic this summer.

Mike and I believe that too much focus has been placed on becoming a pickup artist, and not enough focus has been placed on becoming the kind of man who naturally attracts women. We know that changing your life has to happen from the inside out. The only way to truly be happy and successful is to be “your best self.”

You can read about it here.

This is a nice change from the typical $1500 weekend “workshops” where you pay to watch some guy and his friends try to pick up girls in bars while they “push you into sets.”

In Cordoba I was thinking of throwing a weekend nightlife tour where you’d pay me to take you to the most crowded (annoying) clubs to drink and get brutally rejected by beautiful Argentine girls. When I go back I’ll see if there’s any demand for that.

Also, I did a guest post this weekend at TSB… When A Girl Picks Up The Phone.

I can’t tell you how important not giving a shit is. I never met a successful player who cared. The only problem is it’s hard to fake.

Never, ever covet another guy’s girl. You have no idea what he had to go through to get or not get what he is getting.

If you don’t have a method to screen girls, you’re wasting your time.

They’re always more interesting and beautiful before sex. Fantasizing about her before sex will do you no good.

Ice cream dates are cute and sometimes fun, but if you’re going for speed, always get drinks. Just one drink increases the chance of getting laid by at least 50%. Alcohol is sex fuel, whether you like it or not.

Approaching is just one way to get laid, but the one where all you need is the clothes on your back. Always keep your eyes and ears open.

If you can’t close, you’re an entertainer.

You’re not living up to your potential. If you are not approaching at least ten girls a week, you never will.

There’s a girl you like in the bar. What’s your line? If you don’t have one then get one.

Don’t go out if you’re in a bad mood. You’re wasting your time and the girl’s.

You should never compliment a girl, until that time your brain tells you that complimenting her will you in her pants faster. It may take a while for that to happen.

The better you get, the less new notches you get. Your rolodex becomes huge. Sex on demand is all it’s cracked up to be.

If you want average, plain girls, then fit in and go along with current hot trends.

You should be able to talk for hours without stopping. If a crowd wouldn’t form, you’re not interesting. There’s ways to become interesting, but it’s probably not by what you’re doing now.

You don’t need a car, a job, a place, or money to fuck above-average girls. I’m fascinated that some girls have a type that can be described as unemployed but interesting bum.

If there is a possibility you are meeting up with a chick, take two condoms. If not, take one. If you leave your house and forgot a condom, turn back.

There is something you need to fix if there is a girl you are very attracted to but your feet don’t start moving in her direction.

There has to be a moment in the interaction where you think you might lose her, and vice versa. Not caring if things go wrong is attractive.

It’s easier to peel a banana from the bottom than the top.

You have up to a week before you things will go stale. After that it’s probably done.

If you see a guy with a hot girl, it wouldn’t hurt to watch him for a couple seconds. You may notice something.

Be like the soap opera. Master the art of drama and girls will keep tuning in.

Anger is either a huge turn-off or strong aphrodisiac, depending on when and how you show it.

Some girls decide within 3 seconds if she wants to have sex with you. And it’s not only based on your looks. Your stories, experiences, and attitude are broadcasted (or not) as you move through the world.

You must have standards. They can be low but there has be situations where you say, “No I’m not doing it.” In the long run being selective rewards you with more.

You don’t have to dance if you don’t want to, but it sure makes things move a lot faster.

I generally don’t take pictures of girls I like before I get them. I think it sends the wrong message.

If every girl liked the type of guys seen in GQ and Details, the guys you are trying to emulate, I would never get laid.

Once a girl gives up hope that you will get into a relationship with her, she’ll let you fuck her without having to put in any effort.

You’re only as good as your last approach.

Some nights girls throw themselves at you, while other nights you can’t get a beast to give you eye contact. Not everything can be logically explained. Consistency is the hardest part of game.

It’s a pretty good sign when a girl asks you to take her number, but it doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to get anything. There are no guarantees in pick-up, and you’ll be surprised at the girls who do come through.

Always let a girl ask you for your name first.

Your goal should always be at least a make-out, and never the number.

Being a risk-taker or adventurer seems to make up for lack of money or status.

If I’m lazy I like to wait for girls to give me eye contact before approaching. I usually go home empty handed when I’m lazy.

Her friends absolutely hate you, and will do everything in their power, during and after the pick up, to make sure you don’t get it. Having a cool wingman is the only thing that helps.

Girls say I have nice hair, but I wash it once a week… with conditioner. I don’t remember the last time I used shampoo. If a girl likes you and isn’t sure why, she’ll rationalize all sorts of amusing bullshit.

Your game will never stop changing. I remember when I used to grind on girls and dance more than I talked, when I used to pick up girls in clubs and fail miserably in bars. When your game changes, so should your venue selection, or your results will go down.

Don’t jerk off before you go out.

The best way to get her to stop is to gently grab her forearm.

The less educated she is, the more direct you can be. The more educated you are, the harder it is to believe that game works.

I don’t know if I give girls orgasms or not because I never ask. The more I care, the less likely there will be a repeat.

You should have a staple of quick one-liners that make most girls laugh. If you don’t have tested material then you’re just going by luck.

It’s easier to pick up when you are the exotic one. If you look around and all the guys look like you, you might want to try somewhere else.

Some women don’t know how to flirt, so when they insult you or give you advice they are trying to show affection. It’s up to you whether you find that acceptable.

Witty girls who like the back-and-forth banter get old really fast. Sexy and feminine girls never get old.

You’ll bounce back if you care enough.

You may naturally evolve to the point where the more interest you show in a girl, the more she likes you, even though before she’d run away.

Sometimes the best way to get into a girl’s place is to say nothing and just follow her in.

You should have a plan for the most frequent situations, whether it’s approaching, comebacks to common questions, asking girls on dates, getting into the bedroom, and so on. Already know what you’re going to do before you do it.

If you’re running out of things to say, either hang out with a player or read a book.

It’s a myth to think of a certain girl as “end game.” You just age, get tired, and pick one.

I regret I didn’t try harder to get more naked pictures and video. You won’t know unless you ask.

There will be some really bad days, where nothing seems to go right and you forget things you mastered before. It’s okay to beat yourself up about it every now and then.

No guy gets their dream girl, unfortunately. How can she be your dream if you can get her?

I’m disturbed and shocked that being such a dick still gets such a positive response in so many girls. Haven’t they read The Game by now… and my blog?

I was talking to an tipsy 23-year-old and she was being stupid and getting on my nerves. I did not want to take the interaction further. I said, “Alright I’m done with you—you go now,” and nudged her along. She let this gigantic smile, like I directly stimulated the part of her brain responsible for happiness, and she came back.

I treated her like a cheap hooker, added a bit of the Roosh charm every now and then, and she was stuck on me even though she lived with her boyfriend. I enjoyed telling her things like “What’s wrong with you?” and “Why don’t you give me a break and go flirt with some other guys?”

No, I didn’t bang her, but I shouldn’t have gotten as far as I did treating her the way I did when she had to go to Ikea the next day to buy a crappy living room set with her future husband.

If I were to estimate the percentage of girls who like it when a guy treats her poorly from time to time, it would be around 60%. But I like treating girls with respect. It is my hope that by treating girls like princesses, they will treat me like their prince.

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Yeah right, whatever works, you cheap hooker.

First, watch this video. A girl decides to “prank” her boyfriend by smashing a metal baking pan on his head while he eats a crunchy cereal breakfast.

Cute Girlfriend Gives Good Head…ache

Now watch his revenge…

Guy Gets Revenge on Girlfriend for Headache

Eight years ago I’d watch that and think, “He went so overboard. Isn’t he scared of losing her?” That’s why I couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse back then, and why he has a girl that all men would get on.

A lot of guys have this fear of offending a girl or losing her, but not having that fear is what quality women are most attracted to. It’s hard for women to resist a man who doesn’t care as much as he should. Deep inside this girl is happy he got her back, and I guarantee you after her ass healed she fucked the hell out of him.

Now watch that first video again. Look what happens at the 27 second mark when he turns around to look at her. We didn’t even have to watch the second video to know he’s an alpha male.

Here’s a second bonus example of an alpha male:

Chasing a girl with a boyfriend used to be such an awesome challenge for me. I loved how I was penetrating something that I should not be able to. I pursued girls who had a boyfriend more than single ones, but I was young and immature then and don’t really do that anymore. I have morals now.

There are girls with boyfriends you should chase, and those that you should not, such as girls who just got engaged or married. I don’t even need to tell you this because chances are she won’t even talk to you. She is still on cloud nine with commitment bliss and wouldn’t consider cheating.

On the flip side are girls who are having trouble with their boyfriends. It’s possible you won’t need a strategy to deal with these girls because you may not even find out about the boyfriend until after you kissed, fingered, or banged her. With them all you need to do is stay aggressive and keep the sexual tension tight. The sex should happen unless something big changes in the relationship.

Then you have the murky middle, where she is not quite unhappy with the relationship but not happy either. Girls are different so one who is slightly unhappy might not cheat but one who is slightly happy might. How do you know if she is worth pursuing or not? Two key signs:

1. Length of time until the boyfriend drop. The longer amount of time until she mentions the boyfriend the better it is for you. If a girl is in a happy relationship, the boyfriend will be constantly popping in her mind like in a game of Duck Hunt. She will feel guilty talking with a charming, teaseful guy and will have to drop at some point that her boyfriend is an amazing guy who rocks her world. But if takes 15, 30, even 60 minutes for this to come up, consider her breakable. Bonus if she doesn’t tell you at all and you learn through a third party.

2. Her level of engagement. It’s possible she can have a boyfriend but still want to talk to other guys in the bar to keep things “exciting” at home. Maybe she wants to feel alive or still attractive. How can you separate her from a girl who is more open to cheating? The answer is how much she engages you, by doing things like keeping the conversation going, touching you (very very big), and seeking you out after a break in the conversation, either verbally or through eye contact. If you talk to her for ten minutes and she doesn’t even ask you for your name and things feel like a one-sided interview, move on.

If it takes forever for the boyfriend drop to come and she’s still sticking around you, then do what you normally do and at the minimum try for the kiss. Two things happen if you get your face close to her to feel for the kiss: either she turns away at the very last second or she says, “I can’t… I have a boyfriend.” You respond: “Oh that’s fine with me.” AGREE, AGREE, AGREE. Do not allow her to come up with objections in her mind. Then you try again in a few minutes.

Her: “I can’t do anything.” You: “We’re not! I’m just hanging out.” Keep going, keep pushing. If she doesn’t walk away from you and get out of a situation where she might cheat, she wants to cheat. So you’re just doing what she wants you to do… subconsciously anyway.

There’s a myth going around that women are stronger than men, but I think they’re just as weak as us. If she puts herself in a position to break, she will.

Every two weeks I send out Roosh’s Game Tips Newsletter. If you liked this post then I think you will like the newsletters I send out. Sign up by putting your first name and email address in the form below.

My sister called me up with a game question. A guy she likes said he wanted to take her out on a certain night but did not set a time and place. The day came and she wanted to call him to see if they still were going out. First thing I told her was put down the phone.

It’s his job to make plans so the worst thing you can do is encourage his breezy behavior by doing the work for him. Have a cut-off time, where if he calls you before you will agree to go out with him but if he calls him after you say you already make plans because you weren’t “sure” if you were still going out. This will let him know he has to be a little more firm in making plans.

She agreed with me and picked a reasonable cut-off time of 7PM. If she lets him call at any time then she is sending the message that she is a great backup plan. Note that this is a guy she likes and not just wants to have sex with, which in that case it wouldn’t matter.

He called after 7PM, and she agreed to go out with him anyway. It’s not a big deal but I think if you want a guy to take you more seriously it’s better to send the message that you are for a “limited time only” instead of “unlimited supplies!”

Not long ago I posted about getting approached by girls and gave an example of a girl who complimented me. A friend of mine wanted the whole story with juicy details so here it is.

One of my first night’s out back in DC, I go out with three Russian guys to Tattoo, a “hip” bar that seems to be hit or miss depending on the night but definitely hit when it comes to your wallet. We were standing in a circle of power when a girl came up to us and asked if we were Greek. Eventually she started talking about my luxurious long hair and how I had Greek features.

I like meeting Greek girls because I’m half-Turkish, and the Greeks and Turks aren’t the best of friends. I tell them that if my mom knew I was taking to them she’d kill me. Actually my mom has a lot of Greek friends and wouldn’t care, but I like saying it.

The conversation was going very well for the first ten minutes, with some light touching. But then a guy in her group bought her and her friends a drink. She turned around to get the drink and didn’t turn back. When a girl gives me the back, I don’t wait for more than five seconds. I turned around and continued hanging out with my friends. We reformed the circle.

Twenty minutes later she came up to me and asked why I stopped talking to her. I said, “You turned around and you didn’t look back, so I thought our conversation was over.” We continued talking and I eventually “broke up” with her because of some random reason. Then she said, “Umm, I kinda have a boyfriend.”

I asked her if she was happy and she said yes. Looking back that was a very stupid question to ask because if she was ready to say no then she wouldn’t have even brought it up in the first place. But I was lazy and wanted to find out quickly if I should continue or not. Then I half-joked, “Yeah ’cause if I was a girl and happy with my guy I’d definitely talk to other guys that I’m attracted to.” Eventually she went to the bathroom. It’s at this time I noticed her friends watching me very very carefully, and I imagined how much farther I would be if her friends weren’t around.

I re-approach her some time later. Her friends were spying and I didn’t want to get cockblocked so I was more focused with being the fun, cool guy instead of trying to get somewhere, but she was really touchy-feely. I needed to isolate her. Half thinking out loud, I said, “How about you come with me to the dark corner over there?”

“Okay.”

Without hesitation, I grabbed her hand, led her to the bathroom hallway, and we started going at it. We were doing that for about five minutes, but then I noticed she stopped kissing me. You know how when you kiss for a while it puts you in that relaxed, drowsy state? My eyes were still closed and my lips were searching for hers. I open my eyes slowly and see her right next to one of her friends, who’s holding her arm. The friend looks at me and yells, “BUT SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.” In no mental state for a good comeback, I smiled and said “Huh?” before wiping my mouth.

Her friends wouldn’t let her out of their sight after that, and I they actually snarled at me a couple times. I managed to get her phone number but with the boyfriend cloud, friends who I’m sure destroyed me, and the fact she was leaving town for a week, I knew my odds weren’t so good.

Most phone numbers go nowhere so it’s important to always push for the one night stand. It doesn’t matter how much she is into you, but if you don’t capitalize on that hot moment then it may pass forever. I didn’t have a chance with the cockblock A-team.

We’ve talked a few times but I haven’t been able to get her out since. It would have been a Greek flag.

I remember when the act of getting laid used to be a big deal. I’d bang a girl and pat myself on the back like I just accomplished something special. My friends did the same thing. But then we got older and the more sex we got the less of a big deal it became. While I’m sure there are a lot of reasons why getting laid isn’t a problem for us now, it’s not a coincidence the more I put pussy on a pedestal, the less I got. Problem is it’s hard to fake not caring about pussy. You still have to want it (you won’t get something you don’t want), but you must barely care if you don’t get it.

I do think you have to go through that awkward stage where you care and try hard to get laid enough until it’s not a big deal. Then, in a slow process, you start getting more with much less effort. So part of the secret is time, something you can’t really teach or bypass. The rest is just hard work.

There are two kinds of black guys: the urban / hip-hop kind that is heavy on the slang and mimics stylings they see in rap music videos, and college-educated black guys whose style is a mix of urban and suburban mall-strip culture. I’m not impressed with the game of the former.

Over 50% of the time, I notice their opener is “Hey *slang identifier*, you got a man?” If you are a single girl that has no information about this guy besides his appearance and common line, why would you say yes? He’s giving you an out and the whole interaction that follows is usually him trying to convince the girl to put the man aside and give him a chance. Direct game does have its uses, but the boyfriend question puts you at a huge disadvantage as soon as you open your mouth. It would be like calling the cops and telling them which bank you are going to rob right before you rob it. Why make it harder for yourself?

I’m confident there is a whole generation of black men growing up that is used to the fact that 99% of all women have a boyfriend.

I wrote a guest post for The Seduction Chronicles called Taking Your Game International.

3. Approach in massive numbers. The big myth of traveling is that you will get more abroad than you do at home, but there are so many obstacles (no cell phone, no pad, no wingmen, language barrier, lack of venue knowledge, and so on), that the only way to make up for them is to approach a lot more than you normally do. With many girls closed off to having sex with a gringo who is only in town for a weekend, sometimes you need to keep going until you find a girl who doesn’t mind and speaks your language. It takes a lot more energy than you are used to.

You can read it here.