I didn’t used to mind paying for the 1-3 dates it took to get sex. Spending money on dating is part of the game and getting laid, kind of like how the sky is blue. It just is. But lately I’ve had serious doubts about this model, in part because I have been short-changing my value. It’s a lot higher than I think.

This is how I see it: I give a girl much more than she gives me; my stories, my vibe, my game, my sex. Their stories tend to be of the complaint nature and their humor cannot come close to competing with a man’s. It’s nice that she has a lubricated hole that brings me pleasure, but I have observed that these girls seem to enjoy getting fucked more than I enjoy fucking them. And this is not an insult to the girls—it’s just a fact that I value sex less than they value it with me.

Now I know how this is coming off, and I know what you are thinking, but I think my value as a man is at a point where a woman should be paying for my company. When a girl meets me, I honestly believe she is lucky to have done so; and I hope that most of you guys reading this believe that too when you meet a girl. Because I’m giving more pleasure and enjoyment than I’m receiving, it doesn’t make a lot of sense that I should have to pull my wallet out when the bill comes.

I understand that I live in a society with deeply entrenched dating norms—one that I do not have the power to change—so I will make a compromise to ease a girl’s introduction into my world. I’ll pay for the first date. I don’t mind too much, especially since the first date venue is my choice. After that though, it’s all her.

It’s still very early but my cost per notch so far this year is $77, not much more than the cost of a first date. I’m all about putting my ideas and beliefs into practice. In fact, my beliefs do become reality.

If you are a man who doesn’t need top 40 hip hop, I have five places that are worth your time. This list is a result of six years of drinking and banging.

Busboys & Poets map

An artsy/yuppie cafe that has food, drink, and coffee. Prices aren’t cheap but there is free wireless internet if you like nerding it up in public. This is more of a date spot than a pick-up place, but there are usually sets of cute girls hanging out by the bar after 8PM. Several of the waitresses are also cute. If you are looking to meet someone educated and well-read in their mid-20′s to early-30′s, this would be a good option. Start a conversation about something existential.

Dragonfly map

This is a house club with an international crowd. The white girls here are more open to dating hairy men than the white girls at, say, an Irish pub or NASCAR race. You’ll also run into a lot of Russian and South American girls. Downstairs is a little more quiet while upstairs is crowded with uptempo music. The people here can be pretentious (you will see girls dancing on tables), but it’s nowhere near as bad at places like Spank, Indebleu, Fly, Blue Gin, K-Street Lounge, and Play. Come here if you want to meet someone who has used their passport. Their sushi is decent (get the Dragon roll). Update: Dragonfly has closed. Go to Grand Central in Adams Morgan instead, which has less international girls but a better girl to guy ratio before midnight.

Front Page map

Out of all the lame white-people bars I’ve been to, this one has the highest amount of cute American girls. While they are harder to pick up for me than at a place like Dragonfly, their sheer numbers means I’ll have opportunities throughout the night. This is a good place if you are broke and on a budget (their Thursday night happy hour is very competitive). Come here if you want to meet stupid, easy American sluts under the age of 30.

Rouge map

Rouge is a pretty bar in the Rouge hotel. This has been my date bar for several years running becuase it is deadly effective at panty wetting, making the outrageous drink prices worth it during a time when I cared about getting laid. If you are a man who has a job and doesn’t buy the bullshit idea of dinner dates, take your date here and thank me later. Some nights are crowded and suitable for picking up older women or business travelers, but it can be hit or miss. Similar to Rouge is Topaz, which has a blue design instead of red.

Science Club map

This is like a more expensive Front Page for people who think they are too cool for Front Page. It’s a cross between Busboys & Poets and Dragonfly, with house music but little dancing. Don’t immediately leave if you show up and it sucks: since this venue is more of a launching point than a final destination, you will find that the crowd can change in your favor if you stick around. Science Club also makes a good date bar.

You can run your first 3 or 4 dates from these venues. For example, you meet a girl at Science Club and take her to Rouge for a first date, where you make-out with her and do some groping. Then you do a Dragonfly date two on a weekend night where you seal the deal. Then do a chill date three at Busboys & Poets. The possibilities are infinite!—especially since you can meet girls at any one of these venues.

You’ll notice that these venues are not too mainstream. There is no Dream, Fur, Ultrabar, Tony & Joes, Local 16, Tom Toms, and Platinum. I believe that if you go to a mainstream bar, you will meet a mainstream girl, and if you are not mainstream and cookie-cutter yourself then it’s going to be a waste of your time.

Honorable Mentions

- 18th Street Lounge – If it wasn’t for their $10 cover charge, I would go here more often. It’s like a more chill Dragonfly. (map)
- Lima – A more Middle Eastern Dragonfly. Very good house music on Saturday nights. Drinks are weak though and you need to be with a girl to get in. (map)
- Gazuza – Has a lot of potential, but most of the girls are sitting down. Similar vibe to Science Club. (map)
- Reef – Similar to Front Page. Wide selection of beers. (map)

I need to get more emails like this:

I was flirting with this real cute girl last night. Everything’s going great, so i say, “you seem like the kind of girl who’s a lot of fun… blah blah… you want to grab a drink sometime?” Her response? no bullshit—”that can be arranged.” I immediately thought about your recent post on this issue, and gave her a quick 2 minute verbal lashing asking her why she’s treating me like a fucking business transaction, and why it would have been so goddam difficult for her to say simply, “yes, i’d love to.” Dude i was *seething* inside, i rarely get pissed when i’m running game and know better than to pick fights or scold girls, but this one just had it coming. Told her to beat it, popped a pill and continued hanging with my boys, who were a thousand times more entertaining than the remaining fat girls within eyesight.

I don’t care what the frigid women apologists say, but this girl’s behavior is neither normal nor acceptable. Men with options don’t have to put up with it.

I’m hesitant to advise girls to approach men. I think it’s a man job and while not always the case, if a girl approaches a man chances are he can do better. This is especially true if she’s approaching you solely based on your looks. There are other prettier girls you could manage to get if you just did a little bit more work. That said, if a cute girl approaches me and I’m feeling too cool for school, I will be more than happy to entertain her interest by trying to get into her pants the same night.

Check out 10 Friendly Pickup Lines For Girls. It is written by a “dating coach.” As a man that has been desired by at least one woman, I feel like I am qualified to analyze these openers.

Openers That Simply Won’t Work

“Don’t you think Batman’s cooler than Superman because he doesn’t have super-powers to fall back on?” Creative but lame. It seems like she is trying too hard. The best type of opener is one that starts a conversation but is so simple that it seems like you just thought of it.

“You’ve got an iPod. Should I get the Nano or the 30 gig?” How about neither? If you are going to pander then why don’t you just ask him who won last night’s basketball game instead.

“This new Snickers bar is fabulous. You’ve got to try it.” This is an insult. Do I look like a person who eats Snickers bars? Besides, the peanuts will flare up the hives that have been with me for exactly four weeks and three days, even though I’m not allergic to peanuts.

Openers That May Work

“Hi.” Hi.

“Do you think that couple over there is on their first date, or what?” This is a good question/routine for when you are already in conversation, but as an opener it seems weird. It would be better if you frame it as a bet: “Me and my girlfriend have a bet about whether that couple is…”

“That’s a cool pocket-watch. Where’d you get it?” Well my dad fought this war, right. During the war he stored this watch in his ass so that he wouldn’t lose it. It has a lot of sentimental value. Hey, where are you goi…

“So, what are you doing here?” This isn’t a bad opener because a guy can answer in a lot of different ways depending on his mood. From the “Drinking away my unhappiness” to the “What are YOU doing here?” to the “Trying to get laid, duh.” But it’s a bit too open-ended and a girl will end up getting “not much” as a typical answer.

Openers That Work

“Can you close my bracelet for me? Can you help with this crossword puzzle answer?” Openers asking for help are very good. Everyone wants to be a hero. My street game opening strategy is also asking for help because that’s the best way to get a girl to stop walking.

“Can I sit with you so I won’t get hit on?” She’s asking you if she can use your man power to protect her from other horny losers. Men like taking on the role as protector.

“I never do this, but I think you’re cute and I got tired of waiting for you to talk to me.” This is a bold approach and only confident girls can pull this off. It’s very good because it calls out the guy for being a beta, and he’s forced to scramble and explain why he’s sitting on his hands. He will overcompensate by showing that he is a strong man capable of pursuing, which is what you wanted him to do all along.

A common girl line that wasn’t mentioned in this article is, “Do I know you from somewhere?” It’s cliche but very effective because by the time you realize that you don’t really know each other, you are already in a conversation and have identified a couple things you have in common.

After you approach a guy, make sure he takes over and leads the interaction. If he remains passive and you have to hold his hand to keep the conversation going, he is a man who will disappoint you sooner than later.

In the first newsletter I sent out, I wrote about getting phone numbers from girls. An excerpt:

When it’s time to say goodbye and you’ve exhausted your options to take the conversation somewhere else, you want to give the girl an opportunity to show interest and offer her number before you have to do it. You do this by ending the conversation with “It was really nice meeting you” and shutting up. If she does like you, she will squirm and get anxious, and probably make a move. If she doesn’t offer the number outright she may compliment you to encourage you to get it. And even if she doesn’t make any move, you can still get the number if you want. Your options remain open.

The rest of what I wrote was pretty down on getting numbers. I painted it as a consolation prize for not fucking her. You came, you tried, here is a sequence of ten numerals for your troubles that odds are will not result in anything. But even though numbers are not strong, you still must get them every time. I don’t care if you’ve only been talking to a girl for one minute when her friend starts dragging her away—get the number. As long as you want to fuck her, get the number, no exceptions.

Say you are an average player and have a great month where you get ten numbers. Out of those ten, about four will return your first call (if you are really good, you may hit eight callbacks.) Out of those four, you may get two or three girls out on a first date. Out of those two or three first dates you will probably get one notch if your middle and late game is good. So if you are average, it takes you ten numbers to one notch. And when I say average I mean to say that you actually have game and some alpha qualities. Do you now see why it’s important to get numbers? Behind every number is a chance for a notch. In my scenario there is a 10% chance, but even if you have zero game and there is a 1% chance that the number will lead to sex, it’s still worth it.

If you are still not convinced…

1. Calling girls takes very little time. You call her up, leave a message, and if she calls back, you spend 5-10 minutes talking to her. There is also a low opportunity cost because there are not many ways talking to a girl for five minutes on an off night could be better spent. But if you are at a club for three hours on a typical Saturday night, and you talk to a girl for one hour who turns out to be married, you just cost yourself 33% of very valuable approach time.

2. It tightens your phone game. Ask any girl about some of the things guys have done when it comes to the phone and you will see why it is a skill you must master. Go out there, collect dozens of phone numbers over the course of six months, and just get your phone game up to a respectable level. There is an optimal way to work the phone and unless you start using your experience now to improve with girls you have average interest in, you will cost yourself some more important notches down the road. You don’t want to be calling your dream girl without any clue of what to do or say.

Even now, when I’m out there I still get phone numbers of girls I’m not crazy about. I’m playing the game, not trying to get married. Plus unless you keep your game in practice, it will atrophy. Ask any guy who’s in a relationship if you don’t believe me. If she doesn’t call me back then that’s fine, no loss, but if she does then I’m going to get her out somewhere and take one of my Durex Extra Sensitive condoms along for the ride. At long as this girl is cute doesn’t and fuck up my CPN, I’m down. And who knows, maybe I’ll find out she’s a special little snowflake.

Well that was quick.

Why is it so rare to find girls who put out a natural warmth and openness where you can cut through the manufactured bullshit and start to connect like two normal human beings?

March 14, 2007

I met a girl in a club one week after I wrote that. Even though her parents weren’t from the U.S., she put out a very strong American vibe since she was raised here since puberty (pink Coach bag, Asian-straight hair, fake tan, etc.). American girls are not my number one preference but as long as she is cute and not a complete moron, I’m going for sex. We talked for about 30 minutes with light petting involved. She had to leave because her girlfriend’s boyfriend got into a fight or something, so it was time to wrap it up.

“I think we should hang out for a drink,” I said.

You know her answer is going to be good or else I wouldn’t write about this.

“That can be arranged.”

It gets me so hot when girls treat me like a coworker. Going forward, can we add value in Meeting Room 2? I want to leverage your best-of-breed interface so bad…

I guess I’m asking for too much to want replies like “I’d love to” or even “I’d like that” because then she would be showing too much interest and I would stop considering her as a life partner. I got her number anyway because I was horny at the time, but why bother calling when you know at the very least you will be subjected to phone tag and “Let me check my schedule”? It’s time to hold girls to a higher standard where wanting to go out with me is not enough: I want you to show more enthusiasm than someone in one of those in-and-out comas.

I was at some late-night restaurant shithole with a girl. We were at a booth but I was sitting next to her, hinting to the masses that we are probably not brother and sister.

Our food came (I got falafel) and I started eating when a random guy I’ve never seen before came up to our table. I tilted my head up to see what the fuck this guy could possibly want. He looked at me with a gigantic smile and said, “Where are you from?” There is an unspoken rule that you do not disturb a man and his bitch when food is on the table.

I said, “You see we’re eating right?”

He is still smiling. “Yeah but your face. I, uh, was just curious.”

“We’re busy.”

He walks away and I continue my falafel meal. My casual lady partner gives me a typical chick response: “Oh my God you are such a jerk, he was just being nice.”

“He wanted to fuck you,” I said.

“What?!! No you are so wrong, blah blah blah blah blah blah.”

This guy then does the same thing to the next table where there was one girl and three guys. Fifteen minutes later, he is having a one-on-one conversation with the girl in a different language while the guys sit there in silence, twiddling their thumbs.

The waitress drops our check and I ask her who the guy is. “Oh him, he’s the busboy.”

bus·boy noun
Minimum-wage restaurant helper whose job rounds out the bottom of a capitalist economy’s totem pole

A busboy with stains on his shirt bitched out three yuppie betas whose clothing is worth more than his monthly salary. This is the most incredible moment of game that I have ever witnessed in my life. If you can not neutralize a busboy (granted, the ballsiest busboy in the world), a person whose job is to pick up after you, why are you still alive?

After two years I have finally figured out how my blog affects my notch count. If you are a guy who blogs about sex, dating, or how women are inferior to men, pay close attention.

If a girl meets me through my blog, my notch count is not affected. She likes what I write for whatever reason and is more likely to think my writing is coming from a character or persona. I can proceed with normal game:

If a girl meets me through other means, but then finds out about my blog before sex, my notch count is negatively affected. She usually finds out through Google, my chatty friends, or because she was snooping around on my computer. Except for one isolated case, every girl who found out about the blog has freaked out in spectacular ways. They use words like horrible, sexist, and awful. Most sentences start with “I don’t believe you would…”

So when I meet a girl at a bar, I do not tell her what I do in my spare time. She can call me shady all she wants but she’s not finding out unless she Google-stalks me. Telling a mainstream girl about my blog is like trying to pull someone out of the Matrix who is not ready. Because of a lifetime of feminist programming, she just can’t handle the truth. The girls who dig what I write are vastly advanced in this respect, and that’s why I rather touch a girl who already knows.