Postscript: It’s time to bring some reason into the discussion..

Just because the mermaid has a mouth doesn’t mean she is going to let you put something in it. Chance are though the seduction will be easy like in the tom hanks movie and you will get a blowjob here or there. But I don’t think it will be blowjobs on demand like most men are imagining. How about if she doesn’t have blowjob skill?

For the reverse mermaid, it is true that you have vagina and anus and since it’s controlled by a fish brain you can have access to it all you want through rape or whatever. But keep in mind when you have sex you have to hold onto her scaly skin. And she probably will smell like fish. You wouldn’t want to hit that everyday… though from the back maybe it’s easier.

The key point no one mentioned is that you will get very lonely. Assuming the mermaid speaks your language, you can keep yourself busy with her and maybe even develop something serious.

I pick A.

From a girl in Canada..

So I gotta say….since I first emailed you, I’ve been perusing your blog. If you are in person anything like what you make yourself out to be on your page, you have become somewhat mythical to me.

I know no one in real life that actually has the attitude towards women and sex that you seem to. No one that actually lives and breathes as the seeming horndog Casanova that you come off as. To me, you are the movie character I watch but would never meet in my day to day. You are the mystery guy some whiny chick writes in to Cosmo to whine about. You are the rock star persona that every sad-ass frontman-wannabe loser on some ridiculous reality show wishes he was but will never, ever come close to.

But I have to wonder - could you possibly be all that and still be real?

Flattery will get this girl everywhere even if it would be a one night sex adventure to remember, but this wouldn’t work on girls. They are used to it to the tune of a million daily direct and indirect sex offerings, whether they are pretty or not.

I consider her email fun flirting and something I’d positively respond to, so why do American girls serve up this cocky banter bullshit to “flirt” with me and my friends? I don’t know, but one thing I learned a long time ago is if you keep doing something that doesn’t work, STOP DOING IT.

Here is another email I got from a girl.

The last time I wrote to you I told you that I was crazy about this guy, I was super super super nice to him and in return he didn’t treat me very well. I asked you what I should do and you said that I should leave him because he was just going to sleep with me once and then never talk to me again. Well, after 3 months of dating I did sleep with him (he was dating other women at the time, I wasn’t). This all happened last summer.

A few months later he fell in love with me and stopped dating other women, I was sooo happy. We’re so great together, always laughing and joking around-I’m a really easy going gal and I worked really hard to make him feel cared for/loved. I worked even harder to earn his trust and to let him know know I’d never hurt him. Anyways, we were together for 11 months and then I asked him if he’d ever marry me. He told me he doesnt believe in marriage and didn’t want it but that he did want me to move in with him.

Well, I’m a traditional kind of gal…I don’t believe in living with someone unless you’re married (plus my family is very traditional as well). So, I told him that if he doesn’t want what I want then we should go our seperate ways, because I do want to get married. It’s frustrating!!! Anyways, we’ve gone our seperate ways, which is sad because we were so great together.

But what’s a gal to do? I mean, I put in sooo much work just to keep him happy and in return I didn’t ask for much, but it didn’t work. I mean, shouldn’t he want to marry me just so he doesnt lose me? I told him that I’m going to start dating other men, I don’t care to date anyone else BUT I hoping that it gets a reaction out of him and if it doesnt then maybe I’ll meet a nice guy who does want to get married.

A part of me thinks that I should give in and just move in with him because it feels right and he and I were so happy together. BUT another part of me is scared…I think he might leave me because he doesn’t want to marry me (sometimes I think that he doesn’t even know what he wants or has no clue what he has) and then I think I’ll have wasted precious years trying to find a guy that does want to get married.

OK, that’s enough venting for now…

So what do you think, is this guy ever going to marry me or should I move on? Is there anything I could do to make him want to marry me?

My first instinct is to say it doesn’t matter what you do, he will not marry you. But I don’t think that is the advice she wants to hear.

First one: “A people’s history of American empire” narrated by a sad-sounding Viggo Mortensen. If you’re interested in this topic I’d take a look at books by Chalmers Johnson.

Second video, and one that strikes closer to home, is what happens when the internet goes out.

Ever since I made my post on The Perfect Woman, I’ve received almost a hundred emails from girls asking if I was serious about it and wrote from the heart.

I told them the truth, that yes, I did write that from the heart and that I’m trying to change. I asked them out on a date so they could be a part of the transformation.

As you can see from my public Google calendar, my schedule is pretty full for the next couple of weeks. I just tells girls to add themselves to the calendar to make my life easier. I’m hoping that the deep conversation I have with them over beers will continue me on the path of introspection and self-reevaluation.

Here’s a couple of comments from that post…

Anonymous:

The real question I have is - have we in our pursuit of ‘game’ added so much ‘baggage’ that even if we find the ‘perfect woman’ we won’t know it or be in a position to take advantage of the situation.

Do we have as much baggage as the 29 year old woman who is desperately trying to settle down and have a family?

It’s different - but it’s baggage…

The only thing that makes me different from a spinster in the bar is my gender, and that it’s more acceptable for me to be single much longer. Otherwise we are flip sides of the same coin, and probably deserve each other.

Winner of the most depressing comment goes to ovech:

The lifestyle is no doubt fun but what have I really accomplished? Maybe guys like us are truly damaged goods and doomed to a life of notches and stories. Problem is time goes by pretty fast and tomorrow we might be old and alone with nothing but our notches to keep us company.

I don’t see anything appealing about growing into old age alone.

Postscript: Click the names on the calendar to reveal a comment about that date.

I was recently challenged by City Paper to a haiku contest against two semi-professionals. If you are wondering why, it’s because I have attained rock star status on Yelp because of my nightclub reviews that are in haiku form.

Contestant No. 3: Silver Spring sex and dating blogger Valizadeh, 28, writes haiku bar reviews under the name “Haiku review guy” on Yelp.com. Valizadeh has composed 23 haiku since he began posting on the user-generated site in 2006. His Tabard Inn haiku presents a paranoid vision of olde-tyme Washington—”Time warp into past/Presidents hanging on wall/checking out my date”—while his Local 16 review accesses the primitive jockeying of a modern U Street—”I am white person/Do you like my popped collar?/Damn, he has one, too.”

“I’ve been to lots of bars and clubs, but the bars that I’m going to now aren’t striking me,” says Valizadeh. “I have to be inspired to write a haiku. A place has to be really good or really bad.” For now, he’s found the bad: “I’ve popped into the Black Cat a couple times, and there are a lot of hipsters there, so I’m thinking about writing about that next.”

Like the other contestants, I was given five topics to write haikus about. They were springtime, meat, cherry blossoms, Franklin Roosevelt, and haiku. Then, a haiku expert from some university judged the haikus. I bombed.

I won a single category but I think it was out of pity. In fact one of my haikus were called “childish” by the judge. I tried.

Read article: Sweet Seventeen: Local haikuists/syllabic gladiators/who will be victor?

In response to Black Guys Game:

Where to begin … Roosh kicks things off with the Jane Goodall-style anthropology of black men and approaches in the DC scene - there are two kinds of black men and over 50% of the time he observed one approach - “the Yo you got a man?” line. His experience and his blog. Let the fun begin.

Roissy takes a shot at guessing about black women’s preferences from years of experiences with them, their sociology and socialization in the black community and self esteem. He has gamed and fucked them so he must know them.

John Smith at 9 hours 17 minutes cites a researcher linked to eugenics and the pioneer fund. I would say more but my genes and social community have not provided me with sufficient brain power to determine what Rushton means when he uses words and sentences. (Perhaps someone can summarize it for me)

JP, VK and T bring the black man perspective and explain their game conquests and hash out the details to support their brother(s) in humanity and banging. They were born of black women and/or black men so they must know what they are talking about, right?

I applaud the diversity of voices on the “game” here and confess that I like reading the social science that you guys put into your game. As an old married guy I can keep up with you crazy kids via the internets. Crazy what technology can do, in my day you had to wait for a letter by post or Life magazine article to get the story. But I digress.

What was my point … oh yeah, I get a little nervous when generalizations turn to characteristics defined by race.

There is a pattern to these blog posts that are informed by or characterize behavior by race. Invariably someone points to statistics to prove the causal connections (check), someone (their race is unimportant) makes general statements that label stigmatize and grossly generalize (check, check and check), someone gets called a racist (check) and someone blows up and starts it all over again while pointing out that someone of the particular ethnicity that is allegedly offended supports their reasoning/truth/experience and tells someone to fuck off. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. A time honored dance of racial misunderstandings. Every few cycles someone tries to set a new tone, but they are ignored.

I am not saying that half-truths and generalizations can’t be used in these discussion. I do it all the time myself. In this case, such statements are in service to points they cannot adequately support. In short, you can’t get there from here.

Since I’ve been back I noticed that every time I’m introduced to a girl the accepted move is to shake her hand. After cheek kissing a thousand girls in South America, I find our custom to be quite distant and unnatural. I wondered if this was only an American thing, so I contacted some people to see what the custom was for other countries.

Argentina: One cheek kiss
Brazil: One cheek kiss, but two in Rio de Janeiro
Chile: One cheek kiss
Czech: Handshake
England: Handshake
Greece: Two cheek kisses
India: You put your hands together and say “Namaste”
Iran: Absolutely no touching
Italy: Two cheek kisses
Netherlands: Handshake
Nigeria: Handshake
Russian: Confusing
Sweden: Handshake
Turkey: Two cheek kisses

photo credit: ravenmaven

And then there is France. I’ll let my French buddy Gregorie explain:

It really depends on the region but it is basically a 2 to 4 cheeck kiss. Most common is two. Four in Paris suburbs or Britany (very stupid, it is a waste of time). Three in some areas but not very common. Bourgeois give only two, lower class three or four (Argentina Mendoza was one kiss…. that was kind of sexy.)

Men usually shake hands, except for V. Good friends tend to cheek kiss but they have to be above 16 to do it. Family, cousins, and uncles kiss each other. When you are introduced to a girl if you are same age and under 30s you can kiss her hello, after it is quite complex there is no rule at all.

It is science & the secret of french love.

I was more than ready to conclude with “Western countries are more distant in their introductions,” but I cannot make such a conclusion, though I do find it is ironic that this culture is perhaps the most germophobic in the world but we continue the practice of hand-germ exchange every chance we get. I’ve started to teach girls I meet about the Argentine introduction, which I find to be most agreeable, but I don’t think it’s catching on.

First, DoIsRight offers a very detailed unsafe sex point system.

I do a point system, like I am counting cards. I assign points to every risk factor. the higher the points the higher the risk. No particular order:

1) Where she lives/ Where she hangs out/ Where you are banging - If she lives in vermont, frequents chelsea, and you are banging her in long island. Vermont has only like 450 cases of hiv, while chelsea is infected by bi men, and if she is willing to go to long island with you to bang she probably has been banged previously by a guido. She has a higher chance of being infected. 3 points.
2) Casual questions about drug use. Alcohol frequency, weed, Coc, K, Meth. For coc, k, and meth girls are willing to get fucked in the ass to get high = Infected. Any sign of intravenous drugs - DO NOT BANG. 10 points for coc, k, meth. Alcohol to black out 5 points. Alcohol to loosen up 2 points. Weed a lot 1 point.
3) Race - not being racist but it is a huge factor facts wise when it comes to STDs. 1 point.
4) Economic status - poor people dont go to the Doctor. Lets hope a democrat gets elected so we have less STDs. 2 point.
5) Age - the younger the better. obviously. post 35 - 3 points - post 28 - 2 points - post 22 - 1 point. pre 22 - 0 points.
6) If she doesnt ask you to put on a condom, doesnt bring up condoms, just straight to insert. 4 points.
7) How many times you have to play just the tip and she does the hip squirm before inserting. No squirming 2 points. Medium 1 point. A lot of squirming 0 points.
8) While you are banging if you can stick your thumb in her ass without much effort, that is a bad sign. 2 point.
9) If she voluntarily tells you to cum inside of me [sic]. 7 points.
10) If you ask where should I cum, and she says inside of me. 5 points
11) If you ask, can I come inside of you and she says yes.3 points. If she says hell no. 0 points.
12) If she she asks you to put it in her ass. 15 points - almost like being gay

Second, Nomadz is insulted by people who whine about getting dumped.

The problem is we live in a society where pain, any kind of pain or suffering, is considered un-natural, and to be avoided at all cost. No one actually accepts anymore that pain, being hurt, suffering, are normal components of a human life and cannot always be avoided. Because a girl (or guy) gets hurt once, she or he takes shelter in a “i don’t want to suffer so i’d better never fall in love again” attitude, which is plain ridiculous.

What ? Say again ? You have been dumped ? you’ve had your heart broken ? BIG DEAL ! Get a life. Everybody has. Every human being suffers. Gets rejected. Gets his/her heart broken. THIS IS FUCKING LIFE, and if you can’t accept such a small amount of pain, well, just shoot yourself, or become a Buddhist so you can extinguish your worldly desires. This is not pain. This is nothing. Maybe if you were born in a war-torn african country and had your whole family raped in front of you just before you were enlisted as a child-soldier at the age of 8, well, maybe I’ll feel compassion, and understand that you need to build a defensive armour around your soul and mind so as not to become completely crazy. But don’t fracking tell me you need to be a cold-hearted, cocky bitch for the rest of your life because you prom date actually just wanted to fuck you and you felt disappointed.

I planned this post for a Thursday because the weekend is coming and a small minority of you are going to have sex.

Every man needs to read the beautifully written Just Fucking Fuck me, Already. A girl is frustrated about how passive and timid men are when it comes to the bedroom.

But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We’ve done dinner and drinks. We’ve gone dancing. We’ve cuddled and watched a movie. I’m wearing a low cut shirt and you’ve been staring at my breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me.

When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please fuck me. Trust me, I’m not going to just lie still - I’ll get involved. But don’t make me force your hand into my panties. That makes me feel like a rapist. We’ve been kissing for a half hour and your hand keeps grazing my ass. That’s nice, but it’s time to move forward. Get on top of me. Don’t make me get on top right out of the gate and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I’m practicing some crazy new aerobic yoga because YOU won’t go down on me. Roll on top and start dry humping like a good boy should. Don’t gently suck my nipples and then pull back when I moan with pleasure. You being coy is totally not what I want. It’s not what WE want.

She goes on…

We really like it when you come. It’s called a money shot for a reason. Watching semen shoot out of you is one of the most gratifying things EVER. However, do not assume that she wants you to jack it off onto her face. She might, but don’t assume. Seeing and/or feeling you come is rewarding for us, so there’s no need to deprive us of it, but please do consult us before unleashing. “I think I’m going to come - how do you like it?” is a fair question that shouldn’t rob you of your testicles.

This is a woman who likes men and sex. Notice how she doesn’t nit-pick about the little things and is trying to educate men on the overall experience. I got an erection after reading it.

On the other side, every woman needs to read Blowjob Tutorial.

If you simply wanted to get a guy off as quickly as possible, all you need to do is lock your lips at the base of his cock and suction them up and down the bottom ¾ of his shaft at a quick, steady pace while pressing your flattened tongue against the underside of his dick. Make sure you are applying pressure with both your lips AND tongue. Keeping your tongue engaged at all times is key. I try to keep mine moving at all times. This is how you get 90% of guys off.

…at least once during the beej, I usually pop his dick out of my mouth and slap it against my tongue or face, then look at him while I rub his cock against my cheeks and lips. Guys are visual, this is just a little something dirty for him to look at.

Not only are most girls clueless the proper technique, they only reluctantly give head when a man asks or insinuates. What happened to doing it because you love it? Asking for head is kind of like explaining the punch line of a joke—it takes away from the climax. I got an erection after reading her post as well, and will be forwarding it to future girls I meet as a “fun article.”

A photographer named Wolfram Hahn created a photo series of children watching television.

The children depicted in this series are between three and twelve. Their regards are sad, with facial expressions rather to be associated with adults, unusual for children this age. They regard a spot below the camera; focusing on something in that space not revealed to the viewer. As such they seem lifeless like dolls, or bodies bereft of their spirits.

You can see the photos at his web site. An article was written about it in Art In America.

The photos hit me because I have a four-year-old brother who watches at least three hours of television a day. It’s usually educational programs on PBS or Noggin, but regardless of their value they still co-opt his imagination and train him to take cues from marketers. When he enters a supermarket, he asks for specific brands that are advertised on television and knows exactly where to get them.

A lot of us in our late 20’s are caught up in this multi-task / short-attention span culture, but at least we were spared the most harmful effects of television growing up. All I had to look forward as a kid was Saturday morning cartoons, but these days there are several channels that offer video crack to kids using the latest advances in psychology and brainwashing. I’m afraid that my brother’s brain will be wired differently than mine, and since I’m not his parent there is not much I can do about it.