Research your bank and make sure you are covered by FDIC. If you have over $100,000 in any bank you are crazy. Remember that small, seemingly safe local banks invested heavily in commercial real estate that is also collapsing. Spread your risk and follow the news. If I had money in WaMu or Wachovia right now I’d take it to another bank because I don’t like waiting in lines.

Ten people you’ll find at a bar, including “the sunglasses at night guy” and the guy who “got off work four hours ago, but is still in his suit and tie.”

Jack Goes Forth is becoming a very pleasurable read as he finds his voice.

Meet Wayne Gerdes, a “hypermiler” who can get over 100 mpg fuel efficiency in an unmodified hybrid. He turns off the car while on the road and drafts tractor trailers, among other techniques.

“We’ve been getting a free ride on the global gravy train. Other countries are starting to reclaim their resources and goods, so as Americans are priced out of various markets, the rest of the world is going to enjoy the consumption of goods Americans had previously purchased. This is a natural consequence of this phony economy.”

Blogger Jeff Simmeron started an internet war with a local coffee chain. If his name sounds familiar it’s because he came to a couple blogger happy hours that Kathryn hosted, where he would pass out business cards with his blog on it. I thought it was a neat idea, but others disagreed. How much I miss Kathryn’s events.

Chart of virginity rates among college students according to major. Mathematics and chemistry majors are the big losers. One word: Communications.

I was sitting down on the subway car thinking of making a play on a Turkish girl to my left. I knew she was Turkish because she was speaking Turkish with her two friends before they cheek kissed her goodbye and made a loud exit like only Turks know how. But she had a Blackberry and a slight resemblance to my wonderful Turkish mother, so I decided to inspect my fingernails instead to see if they needed trimming.

At the next stop two guys and two girls came onto the train. They paired off as they sat and all seemed like just friends. I’m not an expert on body language but at 29 I think I know if two people are fucking or not. They held my attention, partly because I was done looking at my fingernails but also because of their exceptionally clear Spanish. Their minimal use of slang and clear enunciation told me they definitely were not from dirty Mexico or Central America. Maybe they were from Colombia, I thought.

This was the last midnight train, and they were tired. Judging by their backpacks it looked like they studied at some library followed with a trip to some Washington DC forest to blaze. The girls rested their heads on their respective guy. The first guy put his arm around his girl and just let it hang there. They both closed their eyes. Go to sleep.

The second girl had her eyes closed on the second guy’s chest as well, but his eyes were opened. He was looking at the top of her head and stroking her hair, slowly and deliberately like she was a gentle flower with fine petals that easily come off. He would not take his eyes off her head. Just staring at her black hair covered skull. He did this for the next twenty minutes, stroking and touching and looking while she did not respond in any way. If I had to take a guess as to what he was thinking, it would be “If she ever leaves me I’m going to kill her and her family.” It was one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen in my life, second only to an internet video I was tricked into watching of a grown man having sex with a horse. Actually I wasn’t tricked, I was curious, like any normal, well-balanced human being would be when presented with the opportunity to watch such an intriguing perversion of nature.

Physical affection is important in a healthy relationship, but it’s not natural to pet an unconscious girl who isn’t aware of your petting. The only exception is if the girl is in a coma and you are trying to bring her back to life. Creepy guys tend to be beta males, living absurd fantasies in their head because they can’t do it in real life until one day it comes out in a subway car and is noticed by an astute observer taking mental notes because he refuses to buy an iPod. It just didn’t add up to me that this beta male was in the position to stroke the head of a beautiful girl that I would personally get with in a heartbeat. It went against everything I have learned and experienced in the past seven years. I’ll get over it, I thought—this is just the exception and I shouldn’t change my world view just for this haunting display of affection.

Turns out that that won’t even be necessary.

When they all got up at their stop a surprise switch occurred. The girls held hands of the opposite guy as they walked off the train. Are they all just fuck buddies who swap partners like in an obese swingers farm or are they all just childhood friends? I don’t have to change shit. They’re just friends.

A couple Finnish bloggers have been linking to me and even though I don’t know Finnish I have an idea what they’re saying.

The first one linked to my player quiz. The word romeo is in quotes, his quiz results state he is a beta male, and he highlights the correct answer to the first question (girls should be viewed as dumb cheap hookers). Most likely to point out how awful the quiz is. A hater.

The second one linked to Chaco’s old skinny girl post. There’s a nice photo of Scarlet Johansen. A fan.

The third one linked to my ejaculation post and got more comments than my original post. Obviously a girl, obviously a fan. I haven’t had sex with a girl from Finland but I would.

By the way if you haven’t heard of the incredible story of how hopelessly outnumbered Finland fought off the Russians in 1939 then take time to read about the Winter War. More here, with videos.

To slow down the 163rd in the north, Finnish ski troops made wide circling flanking movements of 20 to 30 miles under cover of the long night and caught the rear and middle parts of the column by surprise. They found Soviet soldiers huddled around fires in -40° weather easy prey to sub-machine gun fire and grenades. Almost any wound was fatal. As the 44th approached Suomussalmi down the Raate Road, they had to pass between Kuomasjärvi and Kuivasjärvi on a narrow isthmus. 350 Finns in hand-to-hand combat closed the isthmus. Trees were now felled across the road in front and behind with the 44th Division strung out along the road. The 163rd only six miles north engaged in desperate struggles to push the Finns west, but were stopped. Much of this fighting was hand to hand

The first is See Mike Draw, a brilliant cartoonist who has a very disturbed sense of humor. I looked at his archive to highlight his best cartoons but they’re all good. Start with this zombie inspired one.

Second is I Was In Korea, about a young (?) traveler currently in Dubai who likes picking up girls along the way.

I saw a comment the other day asking me to update my reading list but I haven’t touched an inspiring book in a while. I am almost done with Collapse right now (it’s the environment, stupid!) after giving up on a couple travel books not worth mentioning. It’s a good thing I consider many published travel books boring because it means I have a good chance with mine.

Anyway I went through my stats for the past three years to see the most popular books you guys click over from ones I mention. Here they are in order, and notice the common theme…

2. Influence (Persuasion)

3. Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson (Persuasion)

4. Mean Genes (Evolution of persuasion / alpha males)

5. The 48 Laws Of Power (Persuasion)

6. The Art Of Seduction (Persuasion)

7. Spanish For Beginners (Persuasion in different language?)

8. Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman! (Alpha male)

9. An African in Greenland (Alpha male)

10. The Game (Persuasion)

And the number one book is….

1. Bang (supreme alpha male, persuasion)

It just got plugged into Amazon. (Check out the “Customers Who Bought Items Like This Also Bought” for some eyebrow furrowing.)

Amazon.com Sales Rank: #422,732 in Books

Awesome!

Introducing the Are You A Player Quiz, with 21 questions that rate your game. Each question has an answer worth two points and usually one with one point. I also put in an easter egg question to make sure you are paying attention.

Your results will put you in one of four categories. To achieve the top category, you have to get pretty much everything right. At the end of the quiz I explain the correct answers. About 200 guys have taken the quiz so far (I announced it on the newsletter) and only four of them have achieved the top player rating. Good luck…

I am a man and would like to find out if I’m a player by taking this internet quiz, since I don’t already know.

Postscript: It’s time to bring some reason into the discussion..

Just because the mermaid has a mouth doesn’t mean she is going to let you put something in it. Chance are though the seduction will be easy like in the tom hanks movie and you will get a blowjob here or there. But I don’t think it will be blowjobs on demand like most men are imagining. How about if she doesn’t have blowjob skill?

For the reverse mermaid, it is true that you have vagina and anus and since it’s controlled by a fish brain you can have access to it all you want through rape or whatever. But keep in mind when you have sex you have to hold onto her scaly skin. And she probably will smell like fish. You wouldn’t want to hit that everyday… though from the back maybe it’s easier.

The key point no one mentioned is that you will get very lonely. Assuming the mermaid speaks your language, you can keep yourself busy with her and maybe even develop something serious.

I pick A.

From a girl in Canada..

So I gotta say….since I first emailed you, I’ve been perusing your blog. If you are in person anything like what you make yourself out to be on your page, you have become somewhat mythical to me.

I know no one in real life that actually has the attitude towards women and sex that you seem to. No one that actually lives and breathes as the seeming horndog Casanova that you come off as. To me, you are the movie character I watch but would never meet in my day to day. You are the mystery guy some whiny chick writes in to Cosmo to whine about. You are the rock star persona that every sad-ass frontman-wannabe loser on some ridiculous reality show wishes he was but will never, ever come close to.

But I have to wonder – could you possibly be all that and still be real?

Flattery will get this girl everywhere even if it would be a one night sex adventure to remember, but this wouldn’t work on girls. They are used to it to the tune of a million daily direct and indirect sex offerings, whether they are pretty or not.

I consider her email fun flirting and something I’d positively respond to, so why do American girls serve up this cocky banter bullshit to “flirt” with me and my friends? I don’t know, but one thing I learned a long time ago is if you keep doing something that doesn’t work, STOP DOING IT.

Here is another email I got from a girl.

The last time I wrote to you I told you that I was crazy about this guy, I was super super super nice to him and in return he didn’t treat me very well. I asked you what I should do and you said that I should leave him because he was just going to sleep with me once and then never talk to me again. Well, after 3 months of dating I did sleep with him (he was dating other women at the time, I wasn’t). This all happened last summer.

A few months later he fell in love with me and stopped dating other women, I was sooo happy. We’re so great together, always laughing and joking around-I’m a really easy going gal and I worked really hard to make him feel cared for/loved. I worked even harder to earn his trust and to let him know know I’d never hurt him. Anyways, we were together for 11 months and then I asked him if he’d ever marry me. He told me he doesnt believe in marriage and didn’t want it but that he did want me to move in with him.

Well, I’m a traditional kind of gal…I don’t believe in living with someone unless you’re married (plus my family is very traditional as well). So, I told him that if he doesn’t want what I want then we should go our seperate ways, because I do want to get married. It’s frustrating!!! Anyways, we’ve gone our seperate ways, which is sad because we were so great together.

But what’s a gal to do? I mean, I put in sooo much work just to keep him happy and in return I didn’t ask for much, but it didn’t work. I mean, shouldn’t he want to marry me just so he doesnt lose me? I told him that I’m going to start dating other men, I don’t care to date anyone else BUT I hoping that it gets a reaction out of him and if it doesnt then maybe I’ll meet a nice guy who does want to get married.

A part of me thinks that I should give in and just move in with him because it feels right and he and I were so happy together. BUT another part of me is scared…I think he might leave me because he doesn’t want to marry me (sometimes I think that he doesn’t even know what he wants or has no clue what he has) and then I think I’ll have wasted precious years trying to find a guy that does want to get married.

OK, that’s enough venting for now…

So what do you think, is this guy ever going to marry me or should I move on? Is there anything I could do to make him want to marry me?

My first instinct is to say it doesn’t matter what you do, he will not marry you. But I don’t think that is the advice she wants to hear.