Virginia Senator Jim Webb and his wife

If you saw this man on the street you would probably be revolted by his gigantic forehead and oompa-loompa appearance. It would be safe to say that any woman with him, especially Asian, is a mail-order bride. But Jim has served in the military where he has killed men with his own bare hands. (Women love men who are not scared of other men.) He’s also served in powerful positions, displaying a level of ambition that women over 30 get completely wet over. But most importantly, he has misogynistic tendencies. No matter what a woman says, she loves a man — at least subconsciously — who is ready to put her in her place. This man is definitely a player.

Babe Ruth Jr.
Poseur. A real player would never point at a camera; it’s akin to posing with a bottle of Grey Goose above your head as you party. You tell the world, “Hey look how lame I can be when someone has a camera in their hands!” A real player would take a picture opportunity like this one to wrap his arm around the girl near the ass area, or at least look down her shirt. Instead, this guy stares off into space, wondering why some other guy is wearing the same Old Navy shirt at him. And I know it’s from Old Navy because I have the black version (only for work, of course).

Player. If you see an Indian guy with decent looking white girls, he probably has airtight game. This man’s exotic Rorschach inkblot shirt seals the deal (no seriously, I think the shirt suits him well). Though the girl in the middle does seem to be recoiling from him a little.