My master plan was to live in Colombia, Brazil, and Argentina for six months each, and then evaluate which was best to live in for extended periods of time. Here are the total lengths of time I stayed in each country during my last trip:

Colombia: Six months
Brazil: Five and a half months
Argentina: One and a half months

I left Brazil a little early because of when my monthly lease in Rio ended (I didn’t have the will to mill around in hostels for two weeks).

Argentina was a different story. You know those medical experiments that end early because one condition far outperformed another? If I remember correctly they did this with an HIV study in Africa where they tested if circumcision led to lower infection rates. It proved to be such a strong benefit that they ended the experiment early to tell the uncut guys to immediately get cut. Well that’s why I left Argentina so soon—the little data I had in my hands told me that it wasn’t a place that would have brought me more happiness than Colombia or Brazil.

That said, here is my evaluation of what it’s like to live in all three countries, along with my declaration of the best.

LAW ENFORCEMENT

Colombia: While there is a police presence, you can go all day without seeing a single squad car. Sometimes you only see cops on dinky motorcycles that look like dirt bikes. There is no heavy hand of the law here.

Brazil: Maybe only a decade behind the U.S. in terms of the Big Brother factor. The police are heavily armed, well financed (from an equipment standpoint), and make frequent stops. There are speed cameras and sobriety checkpoints. You don’t go long without seeing a cop car on the street. While the laws are more lax than in the U.S., Brazil is not a good place to openly fuck around. Even though Western media loves to portray favelas as lawless, police are generally on top of their shit outside of them.

Argentina: Police are positioned in street corners within rich areas of big cities. They don’t seem particularly well-trained or competent, probably because the country has been spared from narco-wars. It’s unlikely you’ll be bothered here.

Advantage: Argentina

PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION

Colombia: Local buses are run by private companies. While cheap, the lines are confusing and the buses old and very uncomfortable. The routes are not always logical and transfers are commonly needed. Medellin’s metro line though is clean, safe, and very reliable, but often crowded. The one good thing about the buses is that they come very frequently and you can flag them down anywhere along the route.

Brazil: Buses here are slow, lumbering beasts, the big versions you see in American cities. They come often and are reliable but you generally have to walk to a designated stop instead of being able to stick your hand out wherever you please. They aren’t that cheap, starting at about 2.20 R$ for a single trip.

Argentina: They have big buses like in Brazil but are almost impossible to use without insider knowledge because of nondescript signage. In Argentina you’ll only see something like “H7,” while in the other countries they’ll be a placard detailing a dozen or so stops.

Advantage: Colombia

SUPERMARKET FOOD

Colombia: It’s hard to find lemons or lunch meats in the bird family. Most sell peanut butter at inflated rates. Boneless chicken breast is usually frozen.

Brazil: Doubly hard to find lemons, and even common vegetables like broccoli and zucchini can be MIA. Peanut butter is astronomically priced. Great selection of fruits, cheeses, and lunch meats. Boneless chicken breast is usually frozen.

Argentina: Lemons are everywhere! But limes are incredibly hard to find, as is peanut butter. Poor selection of cheese, lunch meat, and fruits, but excellent choice of wines. Boneless chicken breast is refrigerated and of good quality, though much more expensive than their famed red meat.

Advantage: Brazil

RESTAURANT FOOD

Colombia: Not much selection in local fare except for dirty diners, but you’ll find many decent fusion restaurants in tourist centers, usually run by expats. I still don’t know what typifies Colombian cuisine besides stews, arepas, and fried snacks.

Brazil: Beans, rice, and meat seem to be the Brazilian staple. Local restaurants have fixed plates that will serve bland but filling meals of rice, beans, potatoes, and meat. There is more of a food tradition with dishes like feijoada and moqueca, but convenience foods like pizza and fried bread snacks are beginning to fatten the population. Upmarket restaurants put interesting spins on typical foods.

Argentina: Great value for breakfast and lunch, especially the latter where for $5 or $6 you get a tasty three-course meal with beverage. While restaurant service here is the worst, you’ll find far more creative fare with more European influence than in Brazil and Colombia. Argentina is also a better pick for the foodie who is impressed by plate presentation.

Advantage: Argentina

WOMEN

Colombia: The hardest part of getting laid in Colombia is dealing with the language barrier (you won’t meet too many girls who speak English), but if you’re conversational in Spanish and approach during the day you shouldn’t have too many issues banging cute girls. Flakiness will be your main problem.

Brazil: Brazil has proven to be a country of streaks for me and my gringo friends. You’ll bang three girls in a couple weeks then get nothing for a while. Otherwise the country is very gringo friendly and you’ll find tons of girls who speak English. The okay girls are quite easy to get in bed, but the cuter ones take more work. Towards the end of my time in Brazil I was getting sick of all the mediocre girls throwing themselves on me and having to seemingly rely on luck and the numbers game to get anywhere with the quality ones.

Argentina: These girls have a reputation for being difficult and I find that to be the case. Not only will you work your ass off to get laid, it won’t be with one of the hotties that you went there for in the first place. My second trip to Argentina I gave up on the women and found myself a Brazilian girl.

Advantage: Brazil

NIGHTLIFE

Colombia: Tables and chairs. People prefer to sit down everywhere, even in clubs, but on the plus side nightlife is concentrated in the cities so it’s easy to stumble on a variety of places that have electronic, rock, pop, or local music. Bars are a total bust in meeting people. Clubs have decent value in terms of cover charges and drinks.

Brazil: Much more Western in that people mingle. While typical bars offer tables for socializing among friends, you can find bars where there is standing and movement. Some cities have nightlife centered in specific areas, but others like Rio can be quite spread out and hard to get around. Cover charges for the high-end clubs can be astronomical.

Argentina: It has the typical bars with tables, which people start going to around midnight, and then a progressive club scene with rotating DJs develops after 2am. The nightlife is agreeable for younger kids with energy to stay up all night and dance, but for older guys over 30 it can be quite annoying to go out so late to deal with girls who aren’t even drinking anyway. A positive is that the value is very good, and you won’t pay much for cover charges and drinks.

Advantage: Brazil

COFFEE SHOPS

Colombia: There is a cafe culture with the Juan Valdez shops where you can sit with your latte and laptop for an hour or two. Ironically one of the best cafes I’ve been to in Medellin was the McCafe.

Brazil: Brazilians love their cafezinho (espresso shot), but they don’t linger. Since all coffee shops have waiters, they don’t expect you to sit down and write the next greatest American novel. For that you need to go to the mall and find a Starbucks, which is prohibitively expensive (10 R$ for a caramel frapp).

Argentina: Hands down the best coffee shop scene. Big cities have tons of pleasant cafes with wireless internet and delicious sweets. There is a lingering culture here so feel free to camp out for a couple hours.

Advantage: Argentina

SAFETY

Colombia: Safer than I was led to believe. I never had issues walking around at night even in shady areas. It’s a shame that the stereotype of the country being a warzone persists, but in a way this is good because it keeps out a lot of gringos who visit Costa Rica or Panama instead.

Brazil: Most dangerous of the three. While I’ve never been robbed in Brazil, I keep hearing stories that tell me my Brazilian-like appearance probably helped keep me safe (though don’t think Brazilians don’t get robbed). Brazil is very unforgiving for gringos who don’t have a lot of travel experience, though the most common “robbery” is getting severely overcharged by a taxi driver. I have to dedicate more energy here to staying safe than I would like.

Argentina: I’ve never heard a gringo getting mugged here—only petty theft in bus stations. Many times in Cordoba it didn’t feel like I was in South America at all.

Advantage: Argentina

FRIENDLINESS OF THE LOCALS

Colombia: Very friendly. They are much more intrigued that you’re a gringo and will always ask about where you’re from and why you’re in their country. They’re almost thankful that you’re visiting Colombia.

Brazil: It depends. I’ve met some incredibly rude and cold Brazilians, and I’ve met some who welcomed me into their home without even wondering if I could be a ax murderer or not. I would say Brazilian people are friendlier than Americans, but their friendliness is overhyped by quite a bit. A better term to describe them is warm—within a short time you’ll feel quite at ease, like you’ve known them forever.

Argentina: Outside of clubs Argentines are friendlier than Brazil, believe it or not. Even though Brazil has a more open culture to gringos, it seemed easier to make superficial friendships in Argentina with random people. I accumulated more phone numbers of both guys and girls one month in Argentina than six months in Brazil. A lot of guys though initially mistake the friendliness of Argentine women to be that they’re easy. They learn eventually.

Advantage: Undecided

TAXIS

Colombia: Taxi drivers are usually honest, and are great to practice Spanish with. All I had to do is ask “How are you today/tonight?” and we’d get into a long conversation. Towards the end of my time here I had pretty tight taxicab game, rarely getting ripped off.

Brazil: Taxis here are the worst. It’s very rare that a taxi driver, no matter how nice to me on the surface, will not try to scam me. I’ve had to argue with so many that I dreaded taking a Brazilian cab—I began taking buses everywhere instead, even late at night. While getting ripped off rarely means more than a $5 difference, it was the principality of it.

Argentina: Mostly honest, though less friendly than the Colombians.

Advantage: Colombia

MUSIC

Colombia: You got three main choices here: salsa, reggaeton, and vallenato, all of which are danceable, in addition to your normal house clubs. Plus you got Juanes, Colombia’s Michael Jackson, and Shakira, Colombia’s Shania Twain. Rock is also popular.

Brazil: Brazil has a very rich musical culture. Each state has their own flavor of music and you can live here for years until you know them all. From traditional samba to pagode and forro (I need more triangle!) to the newfangled tecno brega, music is an important part of how Brazilians connect with each other and pass the time, but most of the music is hard to dance to for the average gringo. Expensive clubs usually have Western music (fun fact: the song “Forever Young” is huge in Brazil).

Argentina: Reggaeton is slowly making its way here in addition to mainstays like cuarteto, cumbia, rock, and house. Argentines are pretty crazy about house music, but unfortunately they have very little idea how to dance to it.

Advantage: Colombia

CELL PHONE SERVICE

Colombia: Expensive and mostly reliable, though some text messages remain in the ether for hours until delivered. You have a lot of options on the street to make cheap calls from minuto celular vendors.

Brazil: Crazy expensive at more than 50 cents a minute if calling another cell phone from your own. Your only other option is Skype as they don’t have phone vendors on the street like in Colombia. Text messages sometimes get temporarily lost here too.

Argentina: About the same as Colombia, but no minuto celular vendors.

Advantage: Colombia

LANGUAGE CLASSES

Colombia: Group classes can be found at reasonable prices, from $5-10 an hour.

Brazil: Expensive as balls. Prices starts at $20 an hour for group classes if you include “enrollment” and “material” fees. I eventually found a private tutor for $35 an hour that I used for two hours a week, but I couldn’t help but feel raped. Everyone I met reminded me that I was indeed getting raped. Unfortunately Portuguese is harder to learn on your own because of a dearth of self-study materials.

Argentina: The cheapest, which is why so many gringos come here to study Spanish. You can find freelance private tutors starting at $6 an hour.

Advantage: Argentina

VALUE

Colombia: Great value that is slowly diminishing as both the economy (and peso) get stronger.

Brazil: While I was in Brazil I felt like I was paying American prices. Besides grocery store food there is very little value to be found. It was rare that I felt like I was getting a good deal on something.

Argentina: Super great value that will only get better as the peso crashes and burns due to continued government incompetence. They say the Argentine government is so corrupt because their ancestors are Italian.

Advantage: Argentina

VIBE

Colombia: Colombia is full of good-natured, curious people who want to learn about foreigners while showing the best of what their culture has to offer. While Colombians don’t go nuts like Brazilians, they’re a sensual people who are fun to pass the time with. Edgy city life keeps you engaged and interested.

Brazil: Brazilians are constantly in celebratory moods, and it seems like there is always some type of street party or event that makes for a good excuse to start drinking early in the day. There are lots of nightlife choices and daytime activities, and the locals are always ready to party and meet others. The sexual atmosphere is very favorable to visitors of both sexes.

Argentina: You’re not going to have much fun here unless you get into a social circle or have some sort of university class or job where you can make easy friends. Argentines are diehard conformists and always worried about what other people think of them, so there is not much in way of personal flair or spontaneous excitement. But once you get to know some cool people, you’ll have a good time and maybe bang a cutie or two.

Advantage: Brazil

There is no debate in my mind that the overall winner is Brazil. While it doesn’t outperform Colombia and Argentina in all categories, and is also frighteningly expensive, it’s the one place in South America that I must return to. It’s also the best option for the single man. While Colombia is a fine choice as well, I think it’s worth saving up your money for a Brazilian adventure that I guarantee will be the first of many.

While I’ve tried my best to explain Brazil’s charm in previous writings, it’s something you have to experience yourself to understand why fans like me love it so much. I remember something a man told me many years ago: “There are two types of men—those who haven’t been to Brazil, and those who are trying to go back.” Not a week goes by that I don’t fantasize about what my third visit to the country will be like.

There are a few things I learned upon my return trip to Cordoba, Argentina.

1. A white Argentine girl is harder to bang than one with a little bit of brown in her. These brown girls are more similar to Colombians in the work it takes to get with them. And I must stress similar because there is a difference. In Colombia girls flake right before the date, but in Argentina they do stupid shit well before. For example, in Argentina a girl will throw her number at me and then when I get her on the phone to make plans she’ll say, “Sorry but I have a boyfriend,” or something equally retarded. They just wanted to see if I’d ask them out or not. If you’re doing it by text then she simply won’t respond after a couple back-and-forths, no matter how much affection she gave you previously, making asking girls out here a lose/lose dilemma which game theory doesn’t have obvious answers to.

Many times it’s happened where a girl responded very enthusiastically when I messaged her, with replies that included exclamation points, but then simply gave me radio silence after I tried to set plans. I wanted to get an insiders look at this phenomenon, so I went through the steps of making plans with one of my Spanish speaking partners with the intention to disappear on her when it was time to finalize the time, like Argentine girls did to me.

She texted me on a day I had mentioned I might be free, asking if I could meet up later in the evening. The plan was to simply not respond and leave her hanging, but I just couldn’t do it. It’s too mean to leave someone out there like that so I eventually replied (with an excuse, but at least she got a response). It’s almost evil how disrespectful Argentine girls can be. While we do see issues like flakiness in Colombia and even Brazil, at least those girls have the consideration to let you down easy. It seems like in Argentina the girls have a goal to make you feel like shit, at multiple points in the seduction.

2. In the U.S. to upgrade from a 5 or 6 to a 7 takes a marginal amount of work. But in Argentina it’s significantly harder. There are the very cute girls who take quite a bit of time (and luck), and then bangable girls who are similar to Colombians in terms of difficulty. For example, I get looks and approach invitations from 5′s and 6′s all day, but the 7′s and up only look with their peripheral vision, if at all.

3. If the club you’re going to has a web site or can be googled, you shouldn’t go there. Alright that’s an extreme rule, but you don’t want to go to trendy places frequented only by “white” Argentines who think they’re European. Experiment with trashy bars and clubs.

4. Because your first date with an Argentine girl will most likely be with her friends, the appearance of the girl you approach doesn’t matter much because odds are she’ll have at least one cute friend. Argentine girls younger than 30 don’t like doing one-on-one dates right off the bat like in America. So what happens is she invites you out to a big group and then you can play the field and turn on the charm for the girl you really like. Stay on a friendly vibe with the initial girl you met in order to make a painless switch. In other words, don’t lead her on because if she likes you too much then her friends will back off.

On my first day in Cordoba an ugly girl at the mall was eye fucking me. I wanted to practice my Spanish so I opened her, and within five minutes she had my number. She called me later that night and invited me to a birthday party that had many girls cuter than her. There was a sad moment when she realized I didn’t like her, but I was able to meet prettier women that I wouldn’t have otherwise. The girl you approach during the day, for instance, will be merely a gateway to more poon. It’s best to do these day approaches on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, to get invited out later those nights while her feelings for you are still strong. Two downsides to this strategy: (1) You may not like her friends or they may have boyfriends, and (2) Who wants to regularly approach ugly girls?

5. Cordoba has a lot of beautiful girls because of the huge university population, but when you take that away, like I got to see on Easter weekend when the students went home, the locals are of equal beauty to other Argentine cities. What happens is pretty girls from small towns in surrounding states come to Cordoba to study, and then go back to where they came from or move to Buenos Aires afterwards. Cordoba has that wow factor when you go to a club, but most of those girls are under 23 and frankly, not yet ready for the type of easy sexual relationship you probably want. Even doing simple things with them will give you grey hair.

6. Like I described in A Dead Bat In Paraguay while observing my Italian friend Beppe, you can’t escalate on an Argentine girl like you can with Western sluts. You have to be 50% more passive than usual (assuming you’re as aggressive as I’ve taught you), and let the girl do a lot of work, either by messaging you first, inviting you out, or asking you to come to the bathroom to do drugs. The main idea here is for her to initiate the escalation move and then you finish it off.

Unfortunately many Argentine girls will not put in any work, so you’ll get “rejected” when the girl simply does nothing. Pushing the interaction hard or going direct only works on desperate girls (i.e. ugly), and boy do those desperate girls skip out on game playing to get laid! Note this passive type of game is not optimal in Brazil or Colombia. In Argentina you’re punished for being a man who goes about getting what he wants, which is probably why so many Argentine guys are weird and creepy, or have just given up on women completely to devote their lives to rock music and pot smoking. Your best option is to sit there, be cool as fuck, get her laughing, and just hope for the best. In America the game is like a mountain, difficult at times but with a visible goal that is attainable for those who train hard. In Argentina game is like a cloud, impossible to grasp.

I have to put some things in perspective. When I first visited Cordoba, I was coming from the dregs of South America (Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia). I was blown away by the appearance of the women without having the twelve months of experience that I later gained in Colombia and Brazil. While I still think Cordoba has some of the most beautiful women on the continent, they’re pretty lame, insecure, and immature. And even when they get older, a Cordobesa in her late 20′s has the maturity of a Brazilian or Colombian in her early 20′s. Sure their appearance is splendidly feminine, but they are missing the sexy vibe of Brazilian and Colombian women, and definitely the dancing ability of the Brazilians. On the bright side they seem to pick up on sarcastic humor a lot better than other South American women because of their love of American television shows.

7. Many guys told me that once you get an Argentine girl out of her city and social circle, she’ll be much more tolerable. I find this to be the case with two Argentine girls I’ve fooled around with outside of Argentina, one in the U.S. and the other in Brazil. They were very easy to make plans for, hardly flaked, and didn’t play psychosexual games. Therefore it may be easier to get your Argentine flag outside of Argentina. I hear there are a lot of Argentine girls in American ski resorts.

8. Argentina is the only country where the quality I can get is lower than in the United States. I’m talking about a timeline of one or two months. Sure if I lived there forever I’d land some decent girls, but why bother when there’s this big country that starts with a B right next door, where women have healthy attitudes towards sex and like wearing high heels instead of dirty Converse shoes or cheap boots.

9. I don’t want to make it sound like you can’t get laid there—I know tons of guys who have and even a few who got one night stands. But compared to other places, the amount of work you have to put in for something average is insanely high. I’ve never seen a gringo with an Argentine girl who was higher than a 6, which means I’ve never been jealous of something a gringo has pulled. But in Brazil it’s happened a few times.

10. My Argentine lady friend says that once you have sex with an Argentine, the floodgates open, but that’s how it is in Colombia and Brazil as well. Argentine girls think this compensates for their pre-sex craziness, but they obviously haven’t banged girls from other countries. Argentine women are simply not vale la pena (worth the pain) that it takes to get them in bed. Stop by Buenos Aires to get your flag by visiting some lame Irish pubs, where the women are more progressive, older, and speak English, then get the hell out and head to Colombia or Brazil. Honestly even that may be too much of a waste. You miss out on nothing by not banging an Argentine girl. Nothing.

Argentina is a very nice country, but trying to crack their women is a waste of life. I don’t plan on ever returning.

More Posts About Argentine Girls:

• School Of Argentine Girls
• How To Pick Up Argentine Girls (From An Argentine Guy)
• Brazilian Vs. Argentine Vs. American Girls
• Argentine Girls Final Thoughts
• Argentine Girls Final Thoughts (Part 2)

Comment from the other day:

You talk about how hard Argentina is but for me it was the biggest pick-up cakewalk I have ever had. The only one I have ever had. The women chased me aggressively.

The reason? Because he “groomed” himself. Yes, dude banged Argentine models because he shaved and put on a nice t-shirt. I called the troll out to lay out his strategy, a story, pictures, or anything that gives his boast some credibility, but of course “he” hasn’t posted since. I use quotes because lately I’m noticing women trolling as men on my blog and others. “The women chased my aggressively” sounds like something a girl would say. (Here’s another example of a girl trolling as a guy and my reasoning why).

There were also some other misguided comments about “looking good.” All things being equal, looking sharper may help you get laid depending on the type of girl you’re going for, but telling a guy to cut his hair in order to bang Argentine girls left and right tells me either you don’t have game or haven’t been to Argentina. In fact for some type of girls, looking sharp will hurt you (hipsters, artsy chicks, midgets, etc.)

Finally an Argentine guy rolls by and tells everyone to sit down and shut up. Here’s some required reading for anyone going to Argentina:

About middle class Argentine girls from an Argentine guy:

1. Our girls drink very little.

2. Our guys are really forward, confident and insistent. A-hole game or direct game will not set you apart, you will just blend in. Last minute resistance is actually Last few days resistance and we are trained to deal with that.

The girls need to rationalize a story for you. You want to be: the guy I met at yoga classes, or the guy who works with my friend, the guy who’s friends with X’s boyfriend or the guy who plays rugby at the club where I play field hockey. Being the random guy I met at a bar is usually not enough. If you are a foreigner, you need a story that will make you be around for a longer period of time (I’m leaving tomorrow will usually backfire and usually so will I’m leaving next week). Girls will make out with guy they met at a bar, but this guy needs to create his story to take it further.

Since most guys will lie, deceive and twist facts when talking to women (btw, “having game” is translated as “tener parla”), girls need to screen the guys.

In terms of tactics:

1. Roll in a group for optimum results. If it is a beach town in the summer, you want to be with the guys who have the motorcycles, jetskis, quads or who are into kite-surfing or beach volleyball. You also want to host house parties or be regulars at a club as part of a big mixed group.

2. The girl you may get will have seen you before. Your groups will join at one point, and that will provide the setting for her to lower her defenses. Because of this tactic, you need to have different groups of girls around, with a few potential targets in each group for each guy.

3. Pickups take time, same night action is rare. As an example, if I’m traveling to Argentina for only a week, I know I won’t be getting much action. The 3-date structure is quite prevalent: you meet a girl at your friend’s birthday party (on a Saturday) and get her phone. You take her out for drinks or dinner the following Wednesday and make out. You catch up with her on Saturday as part of a mixed group. You pick her up and drive her each time so you’ll have the logistical upper hand. Come Saturday, she should put out. But all this relies on me meeting the girl on my first couple of days in town.

Conclusion: the rules of game apply in Argentina, but pickups take much longer (days vs hours). To have multiple girls, you need to be creating your story with multiple girls along time. If you give up on each pickup the same day, your numbers will suffer. You need a big backlog of potential girls to keep your numbers up. A successful crew will have different groups of girls around them. They may throw a party and have them all around (along with other guy crews) or will juggle the groups for smaller outings. The girls will also have different crews to hang out. To differentiate yourself, you need to be part of the most interesting crew. If you don’t have a crew, you need to be a regular at a specific club or bar. Meet a few girls one day, maybe make out with one and have follow up dates or just meet them again next time they go to that club. The 2nd time around, you are no longer a stranger.

Everything he says 100% confirms what I know about Argentine girls. As for the guys who say that Argentine girls are easy to pick up, ask them two questions:

1. How many did you bang?
2. Pics?

You’ll find they either got lucky with one girl or banged a couple that you personally wouldn’t. Not every Argentine girl is beautiful. Believe me that if a gringo banged a hot Argentine girl he has a dozen pictures of her on his computer.

I got an excellent response to my American Girls Are Easy post:

I always kind of got the impression that THE major benefit of going to places like Colombia was that they were stocked full of beautiful women (way more 8s, 9s, 10s per capita than the U.S., in other words) AND you could seriously do way better there quality-wise than you could in the states: i.e. if the best you could probably get in the U.S. (or whatever your native country is) is a 7.5-8 if you REALLY worked for it, then if you go to Colombia or Brazil or Eastern Europe, THEN the best you could get might be a 8.5-9, maybe even a 10. Do you agree?

Unfortunately no. Your quality dips when you go to countries like Colombia or Argentina. Even if you’re fluent in Spanish, it will be rare you pull better than you did in the States without a lot of time and an enormous amount of effort. So why do it?

I was out with a guy from New York on Thursday at a Medellin club that has the best ladies night in the city. The first 60 girls get in free while everyone else has to pay $15 for an open bar. The point is to get there early to be greeted by tables of girls sitting alone without guys, a rare sight here as everyone goes out in mixed groups. I was talking to my friend at the main bar while warming up with the local drink (aguaardiente). Eventually I asked him why he’s in Colombia when it’s significantly harder to get laid, since as a man with game he didn’t have problems back in the States. He looked at me and just shrugged his shoulders, but I understood him completely.

Sure if I think about it I can come up with valid reasons. I’m here because it’s hard. Because it’s different. Because if it was easy everyone else would be doing it. Because it challenges me. Because the world is a big place. Because I don’t like comfort or stability. Because I’m young. Because the air tastes different. Because it’s cheaper. Because I like taking risks. Because I like speaking a different language. Because I like variety. Because the alternative of living in an American city with an American girlfriend doesn’t appeal to me. Because when I’m on my death bed and look back on my life, I want to see one that was well-lived full of rich experiences, not one of missed opportunity and regret.

I’ve been bitched incredibly hard in South America. I’ve never been so disrespected and so flaked on by women than I have in Colombia and Argentina. I’m talking about ego-shattering treatment that would lead to a hatred of women in weaker men. But I’m still here in Colombia, and I’m still going out and trying my hand, and all the reasons above are just things I came up with after the fact. It’s a game, and I keep going until I get what I want. It’s either in you or not.

If you’re not willing to work harder than you ever have in your life, for returns that are far from guaranteed, then I advise you stay in the United States.

I’m getting a lot of questions about how Colombia is, especially the girls. I’m going to hold off until after I leave to give you the complete run-down because I want to make conclusions on the full experience, but there are a couple things I can say right now.

Argentine girls are hotter than Colombian girls, but also harder.

Brazilian girls are sexier, more interesting and probably hotter than Colombian girls, but also easier.

I say probably because Brazil is a huge country and you get a lot of variance depending on where you go. Plus it will come down to personal taste (i.e. if you like fake tits then Colombia is for you, if you like big asses and a wider variety of color then Brazil).

It’s becoming more obvious to me every day that Brazil is the big winner. The guys who are singing the praises of Colombia the hardest have not yet been to Brazil, and that’s all you really need to know, though I am enjoying myself in Medellin right now and will remain until I finish my second book.

PREVIOUSLY: Argentine Girls Final Thoughts

“Sex is mathematics.”
—American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

One class of email I get are guys who need advice on how to deal with girls from Argentina. I’m posting parts of one recent email along with my answers.

Hey, man. I’m from Washingon, DC. I saw your posts a few months ago about Argentinean girls in Córdoba especially, but I happen to be in Buenos Aires. I’ve been here since June and my game is pretty damn good, but I’d say I have trouble with actually sealing the deal.

I’m nodding my head up and down at this point. I have received dozens of emails with this exact problem.

For example, tonight I met 32 girls, but I have trouble sealing the deal physically. I touch of course, but still I guess it’s hard to get to the kiss. Aparte es dificil convince the chicks that you are the one for them. I’d say I can meet chicks really, really easily, but actually going for it and making sure that we hook up is another thing. And FYI it’s not that I’m a pussy and don’t escalate etc. For example I touch as mentioned, I mention sex, I suggest “us” in a subtle way, and I try to go for it, but usually end up with the girls as friends not fuck buddies.

There are three ways to fuck an Argentine girl. The first is to just go balls out and keeping approaching until you find the slutty one who likes gringos. It’s not efficient but it can work for guys that don’t have enough time to figure them out. Assuming you have decent indirect and aloof game, it should get you pretty close to success. But if your game is direct, generally speaking you will do poorly and risk going 0 for 32. I say “generally speaking” because I have seen one guy successfully work direct game on Argentine girls, but he’s the exception at this point. Stick to indirect and approach a truckload of women and you should hit eventually.

The second way is to use sound strategy, of which I’m still developing. My working theory is this: if you go into a group of Argentine girls with the intent of making out with one of them, it’s almost a certainty you won’t. Instead you have to think, “I’m going to fuck with this girl’s head and she’s going to be so intrigued that she will be on my nutsack.” You have to be the coquette. This passivity goes against everything I’ve learned with how to American girls, but I have accepted that Argentine girls are a different breed of animal. Touching them is mostly ineffective in building attraction. More studies need to be done and if I ever go back to Argentina, I may carry out the research needed to crack the code, as I have for American girls. It would just be a damn shame to have a culture of women that no one has consistently figured out how to fuck.

…another thing; as you mentioned the girls are completely wacko here. It seems like I see a girl staring at me or talk to a girl and she likes me and then she goes coldish saying that she has a boyfriend (obviously and blatantly as if she wants me to know she’s lying) lying) also just kind of moving away even though it’s obvious she wants it. I also think it may have to do with lack of escalation or maybe escalation (kino for example) too fast. And also I think they play hard to get even when they actually like you just to bust your balls,; they is crazy, but obviously some of the cutest girls on this fucking planet.

If you keep doing something that doesn’t work, you need to try something completely different that would never be needed in America. For example, say if often happens that a girl breaks her neck for you and then you walk up to her to say hi but she goes cold. Instead, how about you walk up to her and say, “Excuse me can you stop being rude and staring at me like that? Where I come from we don’t do that.” Have a blank expression so she doesn’t know if you were serious or not.

If a girl shows you her “boyfriend” on her cellphone (something that will happen about 50% of the time), she wants you to think she is desired by another man. Instead how about you say, “Oh wow he’s a good looking guy. Is he gay? I swear at the club I was at last night I saw a guy looking like him kissing another man.” Her response will be to qualify him, putting her on the defensive. Continue the charade with a confused look on your face, as if you think it’s a little strange she likes bisexual men.

I think you get the point. I’m not saying these moves will get you instantly in her pants, but if you constantly experiment you’re bound to strike on something that gets the reaction you want. Bottom line: do something very different than what you are used to doing. Because Argentine girls are very different.

When it comes to Brazilian girls, use standard American game. No change is needed.

I’m editing my next video production, which will be ready on Monday.

Here’s two other very short videos you may have not seen. The first is called Ecuador Death Road. Captions throughout help guide you through the complex narrative.

Ecuador Death Road from Roosh V on Vimeo.

The second video is called We’re Pretty Much Homeless. Here’s the summary:

Went out to MDM nightclub in Rosario, Argentina. We stayed until early morning and was ready to go back to the hostel but it was impossible to find a free cab. Many kilometers from the hostel, one Australian member of the party had a nervous breakdown which I was able to capture on film. Thirty minutes into our walk, a free cab was finally found.

Another Australian who stayed at the club a bit longer ended up jogging back to the hostel, asking directions in poor Spanish along the way.

My Australian friend is very good looking.

We’re Pretty Much Homeless from Roosh V on Vimeo.

I just got a friend request on Facebook from a girl in Argentina I didn’t recognize. It took me a couple minutes to figure out who it was.

In December I hit on this Argentine girl in a Buenos Aires club for a couple hours. We exchanged emails midway through but later on she disappeared on me when I went to get a drink. I didn’t email her obviously. Turns out she added my email to her address book, never emailed me, but used the “friend friender” to beef up her new Facebook page. Whatever… *accept*.

After five months of reflection I’m ready for a round two with the Argentines.

Shoulda banged on that bed. I’m a disgrace.