Contents

The 64-page Compendium is organized into four chapters:

• Girls & Game
• Guides
• Stories
• Favorite Reader Comments

Here’s what you’ll find inside…

• The minimum number of approaches you need to do to get your Argentine flag
• The optimum dick vibe you should possess that doesn’t overdo it (with examples)
• Description of strange cultural features and effective countermeasures
• How to avoid the most common trap that an Argentine girl will lay on you
• What you need to know about eye contact
• The two principle strategies you should use to bang an Argentine girl that accounts for the length of your trip
• A simple line to transition to a love hotel
• Enlightening techniques from a local on how to bang his country’s women
• Whether you should start your approaches in English or Spanish
• The type of Argentine girl that is as easy to lay as a Colombian girl
• Ten key insights I learned upon my second trip to Argentina
• Why approaching ugly girls acts as a gateway to better poon
• The reason you can’t escalate on an Argentine girl like you can with a Western slut

The Compendium contains travel and logistical information…

• The logic (or illogic) or traveling to a country that is harder to get laid than in the U.S.
• Humorous analysis that compares Brazilian, Argentine, and American girls
• Detailed guides with day, nightlife, and cheap lodging recommendations for Buenos Aires, Cordoba, Rosario, Salta, Mendoza, Puerto Iguazu, El Calafate, and El Chalten
• Breakdown of street safety for the entire South American continent
• My favorite reader comments that offer additional insight and analysis on Argentine girls, cities, and culture

I also include a handful of more lengthy pieces…

• The shame I felt after my dealings with a Buenos Aires bag lady
• How visiting Argentina has forever desensitized me to beauty
• Blow-by-blow account of my time in Patagonia
• Review of the best sights in Buenos Aires

Two Argentine Game Tips

It’s usually obvious when an American girl likes you because she asks personal questions and starts touching. You can then escalate the encounter and go for a kiss. Argentine girls are a little more tricky. Even if she’s touching, you still have to restrain yourself and wait just a bit longer until she starts giving you a focused look or smiles when there’s nothing to smile about. This is important because if you bite too early, she will close up and you’ll get nothing.

Let me share another quick tip…

Argentine nightlife is pretty easy to figure out. You’ll find tons of bar and club listings on the internet or in guidebooks, but you should do your damndest to avoid those spots because the girls will be excruciatingly hard to lay. Even though Argentina is relatively poor, clubs with their own web sites attract the “rich” and white Argentine girls who are ten times harder to bang. If you want to meet girls who are easier, venture into the seedier bars where they’re are a little darker but no less “Argentine.” Chances are you’ll be the other gringo in the place.

The Compendium is filled with tons of tips like the two above, things that are not common sense to guys who are used to American or English girls. It’s intended for guys who don’t want to spend a lot of time struggling to get Argentine women in the sack and rather learn from a man who dedicated the bulk of his three months in Argentina to figuring out the women. This isn’t a “magic” book that claims you won’t have to put in effort and creativity, but I share so much potent insight and analysis that I guarantee your job at banging Argentines will be far easier.

Order Your Copy

The eBook edition of Roosh’s Argentine Compendium (containing both PDF and ePUB formats) costs only $4.99 and is processed by your choice of Google Checkout or Paypal. That’s about the same price as a large bottle of Argentine Quilmes beer. It comes with a 1 year money back guarantee (overkill, I know). If you don’t like it for whatever reason, email me at roosh (at) rooshv.com and I’ll refund your purchase no questions asked. Click the image below to order the ebook package…

The paperback edition costs $10.97 and comes with a 30-day money back guarantee from Amazon, and the Kindle edition comes with a 7-day money back guarantee. Click the image below to order the paperback or Kindle edition from Amazon…

Good luck in Argentina!

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Colombia: Six months
Brazil: Five and a half months
Argentina: One and a half months

I left Brazil a little early because of when my monthly lease in Rio ended (I didn’t have the will to mill around in hostels for two weeks).

Argentina was a different story. You know those medical experiments that end early because one condition far outperformed another? If I remember correctly they did this with an HIV study in Africa where they tested if circumcision led to lower infection rates. It proved to be such a strong benefit that they ended the experiment early to tell the uncut guys to immediately get cut. Well that’s why I left Argentina so soon—the little data I had in my hands told me that it wasn’t a place that would have brought me more happiness than Colombia or Brazil.

That said, here is my evaluation of what it’s like to live in all three countries, along with my declaration of the best.

LAW ENFORCEMENT

Colombia: While there is a police presence, you can go all day without seeing a single squad car. Sometimes you only see cops on dinky motorcycles that look like dirt bikes. There is no heavy hand of the law here.

Brazil: Maybe only a decade behind the U.S. in terms of the Big Brother factor. The police are heavily armed, well financed (from an equipment standpoint), and make frequent stops. There are speed cameras and sobriety checkpoints. You don’t go long without seeing a cop car on the street. While the laws are more lax than in the U.S., Brazil is not a good place to openly fuck around. Even though Western media loves to portray favelas as lawless, police are generally on top of their shit outside of them.

Argentina: Police are positioned in street corners within rich areas of big cities. They don’t seem particularly well-trained or competent, probably because the country has been spared from narco-wars. It’s unlikely you’ll be bothered here.

Advantage: Argentina

PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION

Colombia: Local buses are run by private companies. While cheap, the lines are confusing and the buses old and very uncomfortable. The routes are not always logical and transfers are commonly needed. Medellin’s metro line though is clean, safe, and very reliable, but often crowded. The one good thing about the buses is that they come very frequently and you can flag them down anywhere along the route.

Brazil: Buses here are slow, lumbering beasts, the big versions you see in American cities. They come often and are reliable but you generally have to walk to a designated stop instead of being able to stick your hand out wherever you please. They aren’t that cheap, starting at about 2.20 R$ for a single trip.

Argentina: They have big buses like in Brazil but are almost impossible to use without insider knowledge because of nondescript signage. In Argentina you’ll only see something like “H7,” while in the other countries they’ll be a placard detailing a dozen or so stops.

Advantage: Colombia

SUPERMARKET FOOD

Colombia: It’s hard to find lemons or lunch meats in the bird family. Most sell peanut butter at inflated rates. Boneless chicken breast is usually frozen.

Brazil: Doubly hard to find lemons, and even common vegetables like broccoli and zucchini can be MIA. Peanut butter is astronomically priced. Great selection of fruits, cheeses, and lunch meats. Boneless chicken breast is usually frozen.

Argentina: Lemons are everywhere! But limes are incredibly hard to find, as is peanut butter. Poor selection of cheese, lunch meat, and fruits, but excellent choice of wines. Boneless chicken breast is refrigerated and of good quality, though much more expensive than their famed red meat.

Advantage: Brazil

RESTAURANT FOOD

Colombia: Not much selection in local fare except for dirty diners, but you’ll find many decent fusion restaurants in tourist centers, usually run by expats. I still don’t know what typifies Colombian cuisine besides stews, arepas, and fried snacks.

Brazil: Beans, rice, and meat seem to be the Brazilian staple. Local restaurants have fixed plates that will serve bland but filling meals of rice, beans, potatoes, and meat. There is more of a food tradition with dishes like feijoada and moqueca, but convenience foods like pizza and fried bread snacks are beginning to fatten the population. Upmarket restaurants put interesting spins on typical foods.

Argentina: Great value for breakfast and lunch, especially the latter where for $5 or $6 you get a tasty three-course meal with beverage. While restaurant service here is the worst, you’ll find far more creative fare with more European influence than in Brazil and Colombia. Argentina is also a better pick for the foodie who is impressed by plate presentation.

Advantage: Argentina

WOMEN

Colombia: The hardest part of getting laid in Colombia is dealing with the language barrier (you won’t meet too many girls who speak English), but if you’re conversational in Spanish and approach during the day you shouldn’t have too many issues banging cute girls. Flakiness will be your main problem.

Brazil: Brazil has proven to be a country of streaks for me and my gringo friends. You’ll bang three girls in a couple weeks then get nothing for a while. Otherwise the country is very gringo friendly and you’ll find tons of girls who speak English. The okay girls are quite easy to get in bed, but the cuter ones take more work. Towards the end of my time in Brazil I was getting sick of all the mediocre girls throwing themselves on me and having to seemingly rely on luck and the numbers game to get anywhere with the quality ones.

Argentina: These girls have a reputation for being difficult and I find that to be the case. Not only will you work your ass off to get laid, it won’t be with one of the hotties that you went there for in the first place. My second trip to Argentina I gave up on the women and found myself a Brazilian girl.

Advantage: Brazil

NIGHTLIFE

Colombia: Tables and chairs. People prefer to sit down everywhere, even in clubs, but on the plus side nightlife is concentrated in the cities so it’s easy to stumble on a variety of places that have electronic, rock, pop, or local music. Bars are a total bust in meeting people. Clubs have decent value in terms of cover charges and drinks.

Brazil: Much more Western in that people mingle. While typical bars offer tables for socializing among friends, you can find bars where there is standing and movement. Some cities have nightlife centered in specific areas, but others like Rio can be quite spread out and hard to get around. Cover charges for the high-end clubs can be astronomical.

Argentina: It has the typical bars with tables, which people start going to around midnight, and then a progressive club scene with rotating DJs develops after 2am. The nightlife is agreeable for younger kids with energy to stay up all night and dance, but for older guys over 30 it can be quite annoying to go out so late to deal with girls who aren’t even drinking anyway. A positive is that the value is very good, and you won’t pay much for cover charges and drinks.

Advantage: Brazil

COFFEE SHOPS

Colombia: There is a cafe culture with the Juan Valdez shops where you can sit with your latte and laptop for an hour or two. Ironically one of the best cafes I’ve been to in Medellin was the McCafe.

Brazil: Brazilians love their cafezinho (espresso shot), but they don’t linger. Since all coffee shops have waiters, they don’t expect you to sit down and write the next greatest American novel. For that you need to go to the mall and find a Starbucks, which is prohibitively expensive (10 R$ for a caramel frapp).

Argentina: Hands down the best coffee shop scene. Big cities have tons of pleasant cafes with wireless internet and delicious sweets. There is a lingering culture here so feel free to camp out for a couple hours.

Advantage: Argentina

SAFETY

Colombia: Safer than I was led to believe. I never had issues walking around at night even in shady areas. It’s a shame that the stereotype of the country being a warzone persists, but in a way this is good because it keeps out a lot of gringos who visit Costa Rica or Panama instead.

Brazil: Most dangerous of the three. While I’ve never been robbed in Brazil, I keep hearing stories that tell me my Brazilian-like appearance probably helped keep me safe (though don’t think Brazilians don’t get robbed). Brazil is very unforgiving for gringos who don’t have a lot of travel experience, though the most common “robbery” is getting severely overcharged by a taxi driver. I have to dedicate more energy here to staying safe than I would like.

Argentina: I’ve never heard a gringo getting mugged here—only petty theft in bus stations. Many times in Cordoba it didn’t feel like I was in South America at all.

Advantage: Argentina

FRIENDLINESS OF THE LOCALS

Colombia: Very friendly. They are much more intrigued that you’re a gringo and will always ask about where you’re from and why you’re in their country. They’re almost thankful that you’re visiting Colombia.

Brazil: It depends. I’ve met some incredibly rude and cold Brazilians, and I’ve met some who welcomed me into their home without even wondering if I could be a ax murderer or not. I would say Brazilian people are friendlier than Americans, but their friendliness is overhyped by quite a bit. A better term to describe them is warm—within a short time you’ll feel quite at ease, like you’ve known them forever.

Argentina: Outside of clubs Argentines are friendlier than Brazil, believe it or not. Even though Brazil has a more open culture to gringos, it seemed easier to make superficial friendships in Argentina with random people. I accumulated more phone numbers of both guys and girls one month in Argentina than six months in Brazil. A lot of guys though initially mistake the friendliness of Argentine women to be that they’re easy. They learn eventually.

Advantage: Undecided

TAXIS

Colombia: Taxi drivers are usually honest, and are great to practice Spanish with. All I had to do is ask “How are you today/tonight?” and we’d get into a long conversation. Towards the end of my time here I had pretty tight taxicab game, rarely getting ripped off.

Brazil: Taxis here are the worst. It’s very rare that a taxi driver, no matter how nice to me on the surface, will not try to scam me. I’ve had to argue with so many that I dreaded taking a Brazilian cab—I began taking buses everywhere instead, even late at night. While getting ripped off rarely means more than a $5 difference, it was the principality of it.

Argentina: Mostly honest, though less friendly than the Colombians.

Advantage: Colombia

MUSIC

Colombia: You got three main choices here: salsa, reggaeton, and vallenato, all of which are danceable, in addition to your normal house clubs. Plus you got Juanes, Colombia’s Michael Jackson, and Shakira, Colombia’s Shania Twain. Rock is also popular.

Brazil: Brazil has a very rich musical culture. Each state has their own flavor of music and you can live here for years until you know them all. From traditional samba to pagode and forro (I need more triangle!) to the newfangled tecno brega, music is an important part of how Brazilians connect with each other and pass the time, but most of the music is hard to dance to for the average gringo. Expensive clubs usually have Western music (fun fact: the song “Forever Young” is huge in Brazil).

Argentina: Reggaeton is slowly making its way here in addition to mainstays like cuarteto, cumbia, rock, and house. Argentines are pretty crazy about house music, but unfortunately they have very little idea how to dance to it.

Advantage: Colombia

CELL PHONE SERVICE

Colombia: Expensive and mostly reliable, though some text messages remain in the ether for hours until delivered. You have a lot of options on the street to make cheap calls from minuto celular vendors.

Brazil: Crazy expensive at more than 50 cents a minute if calling another cell phone from your own. Your only other option is Skype as they don’t have phone vendors on the street like in Colombia. Text messages sometimes get temporarily lost here too.

Argentina: About the same as Colombia, but no minuto celular vendors.

Advantage: Colombia

LANGUAGE CLASSES

Colombia: Group classes can be found at reasonable prices, from $5-10 an hour.

Brazil: Expensive as balls. Prices starts at $20 an hour for group classes if you include “enrollment” and “material” fees. I eventually found a private tutor for $35 an hour that I used for two hours a week, but I couldn’t help but feel raped. Everyone I met reminded me that I was indeed getting raped. Unfortunately Portuguese is harder to learn on your own because of a dearth of self-study materials.

Argentina: The cheapest, which is why so many gringos come here to study Spanish. You can find freelance private tutors starting at $6 an hour.

Advantage: Argentina

VALUE

Colombia: Great value that is slowly diminishing as both the economy (and peso) get stronger.

Brazil: While I was in Brazil I felt like I was paying American prices. Besides grocery store food there is very little value to be found. It was rare that I felt like I was getting a good deal on something.

Argentina: Super great value that will only get better as the peso crashes and burns due to continued government incompetence. They say the Argentine government is so corrupt because their ancestors are Italian.

Advantage: Argentina

VIBE

Colombia: Colombia is full of good-natured, curious people who want to learn about foreigners while showing the best of what their culture has to offer. While Colombians don’t go nuts like Brazilians, they’re a sensual people who are fun to pass the time with. Edgy city life keeps you engaged and interested.

Brazil: Brazilians are constantly in celebratory moods, and it seems like there is always some type of street party or event that makes for a good excuse to start drinking early in the day. There are lots of nightlife choices and daytime activities, and the locals are always ready to party and meet others. The sexual atmosphere is very favorable to visitors of both sexes.

Argentina: You’re not going to have much fun here unless you get into a social circle or have some sort of university class or job where you can make easy friends. Argentines are diehard conformists and always worried about what other people think of them, so there is not much in way of personal flair or spontaneous excitement. But once you get to know some cool people, you’ll have a good time and maybe bang a cutie or two.

Advantage: Brazil

There is no debate in my mind that the overall winner is Brazil. While it doesn’t outperform Colombia and Argentina in all categories, and is also frighteningly expensive, it’s the one place in South America that I must return to. It’s also the best option for the single man. While Colombia is a fine choice as well, I think it’s worth saving up your money for a Brazilian adventure that I guarantee will be the first of many.

While I’ve tried my best to explain Brazil’s charm in previous writings, it’s something you have to experience yourself to understand why fans like me love it so much. I remember something a man told me many years ago: “There are two types of men—those who haven’t been to Brazil, and those who are trying to go back.” Not a week goes by that I don’t fantasize about what my third visit to the country will be like.

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1. A white Argentine girl is harder to bang than one with a little bit of brown in her. These brown girls are more similar to Colombians in the work it takes to get with them. And I must stress similar because there is a difference. In Colombia girls flake right before the date, but in Argentina they do stupid shit well before. For example, in Argentina a girl will throw her number at me and then when I get her on the phone to make plans she’ll say, “Sorry but I have a boyfriend,” or something equally retarded. They just wanted to see if I’d ask them out or not. If you’re doing it by text then she simply won’t respond after a couple back-and-forths, no matter how much affection she gave you previously, making asking girls out here a lose/lose dilemma which game theory doesn’t have obvious answers to.

Many times it’s happened where a girl responded very enthusiastically when I messaged her, with replies that included exclamation points, but then simply gave me radio silence after I tried to set plans. I wanted to get an insiders look at this phenomenon, so I went through the steps of making plans with one of my Spanish speaking partners with the intention to disappear on her when it was time to finalize the time, like Argentine girls did to me.

She texted me on a day I had mentioned I might be free, asking if I could meet up later in the evening. The plan was to simply not respond and leave her hanging, but I just couldn’t do it. It’s too mean to leave someone out there like that so I eventually replied (with an excuse, but at least she got a response). It’s almost evil how disrespectful Argentine girls can be. While we do see issues like flakiness in Colombia and even Brazil, at least those girls have the consideration to let you down easy. It seems like in Argentina the girls have a goal to make you feel like shit, at multiple points in the seduction.

2. In the U.S. to upgrade from a 5 or 6 to a 7 takes a marginal amount of work. But in Argentina it’s significantly harder. There are the very cute girls who take quite a bit of time (and luck), and then bangable girls who are similar to Colombians in terms of difficulty. For example, I get looks and approach invitations from 5′s and 6′s all day, but the 7′s and up only look with their peripheral vision, if at all.

3. If the club you’re going to has a web site or can be googled, you shouldn’t go there. Alright that’s an extreme rule, but you don’t want to go to trendy places frequented only by “white” Argentines who think they’re European. Experiment with trashy bars and clubs.

4. Because your first date with an Argentine girl will most likely be with her friends, the appearance of the girl you approach doesn’t matter much because odds are she’ll have at least one cute friend. Argentine girls younger than 30 don’t like doing one-on-one dates right off the bat like in America. So what happens is she invites you out to a big group and then you can play the field and turn on the charm for the girl you really like. Stay on a friendly vibe with the initial girl you met in order to make a painless switch. In other words, don’t lead her on because if she likes you too much then her friends will back off.

On my first day in Cordoba an ugly girl at the mall was eye fucking me. I wanted to practice my Spanish so I opened her, and within five minutes she had my number. She called me later that night and invited me to a birthday party that had many girls cuter than her. There was a sad moment when she realized I didn’t like her, but I was able to meet prettier women that I wouldn’t have otherwise. The girl you approach during the day, for instance, will be merely a gateway to more poon. It’s best to do these day approaches on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, to get invited out later those nights while her feelings for you are still strong. Two downsides to this strategy: (1) You may not like her friends or they may have boyfriends, and (2) Who wants to regularly approach ugly girls?

5. Cordoba has a lot of beautiful girls because of the huge university population, but when you take that away, like I got to see on Easter weekend when the students went home, the locals are of equal beauty to other Argentine cities. What happens is pretty girls from small towns in surrounding states come to Cordoba to study, and then go back to where they came from or move to Buenos Aires afterwards. Cordoba has that wow factor when you go to a club, but most of those girls are under 23 and frankly, not yet ready for the type of easy sexual relationship you probably want. Even doing simple things with them will give you grey hair.

6. Like I described in A Dead Bat In Paraguay while observing my Italian friend Beppe, you can’t escalate on an Argentine girl like you can with Western sluts. You have to be 50% more passive than usual (assuming you’re as aggressive as I’ve taught you), and let the girl do a lot of work, either by messaging you first, inviting you out, or asking you to come to the bathroom to do drugs. The main idea here is for her to initiate the escalation move and then you finish it off.

Unfortunately many Argentine girls will not put in any work, so you’ll get “rejected” when the girl simply does nothing. Pushing the interaction hard or going direct only works on desperate girls (i.e. ugly), and boy do those desperate girls skip out on game playing to get laid! Note this passive type of game is not optimal in Brazil or Colombia. In Argentina you’re punished for being a man who goes about getting what he wants, which is probably why so many Argentine guys are weird and creepy, or have just given up on women completely to devote their lives to rock music and pot smoking. Your best option is to sit there, be cool as fuck, get her laughing, and just hope for the best. In America the game is like a mountain, difficult at times but with a visible goal that is attainable for those who train hard. In Argentina game is like a cloud, impossible to grasp.

I have to put some things in perspective. When I first visited Cordoba, I was coming from the dregs of South America (Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia). I was blown away by the appearance of the women without having the twelve months of experience that I later gained in Colombia and Brazil. While I still think Cordoba has some of the most beautiful women on the continent, they’re pretty lame, insecure, and immature. And even when they get older, a Cordobesa in her late 20′s has the maturity of a Brazilian or Colombian in her early 20′s. Sure their appearance is splendidly feminine, but they are missing the sexy vibe of Brazilian and Colombian women, and definitely the dancing ability of the Brazilians. On the bright side they seem to pick up on sarcastic humor a lot better than other South American women because of their love of American television shows.

7. Many guys told me that once you get an Argentine girl out of her city and social circle, she’ll be much more tolerable. I find this to be the case with two Argentine girls I’ve fooled around with outside of Argentina, one in the U.S. and the other in Brazil. They were very easy to make plans for, hardly flaked, and didn’t play psychosexual games. Therefore it may be easier to get your Argentine flag outside of Argentina. I hear there are a lot of Argentine girls in American ski resorts.

8. Argentina is the only country where the quality I can get is lower than in the United States. I’m talking about a timeline of one or two months. Sure if I lived there forever I’d land some decent girls, but why bother when there’s this big country that starts with a B right next door, where women have healthy attitudes towards sex and like wearing high heels instead of dirty Converse shoes or cheap boots.

9. I don’t want to make it sound like you can’t get laid there—I know tons of guys who have and even a few who got one night stands. But compared to other places, the amount of work you have to put in for something average is insanely high. I’ve never seen a gringo with an Argentine girl who was higher than a 6, which means I’ve never been jealous of something a gringo has pulled. But in Brazil it’s happened a few times.

10. My Argentine lady friend says that once you have sex with an Argentine, the floodgates open, but that’s how it is in Colombia and Brazil as well. Argentine girls think this compensates for their pre-sex craziness, but they obviously haven’t banged girls from other countries. Argentine women are simply not vale la pena (worth the pain) that it takes to get them in bed. Stop by Buenos Aires to get your flag by visiting some lame Irish pubs, where the women are more progressive, older, and speak English, then get the hell out and head to Colombia or Brazil. Honestly even that may be too much of a waste. You miss out on nothing by not banging an Argentine girl. Nothing.

Argentina is a very nice country, but trying to crack their women is a waste of life. I don’t plan on ever returning.

More Posts About Argentine Girls:

• School Of Argentine Girls
• How To Pick Up Argentine Girls (From An Argentine Guy)
• Brazilian Vs. Argentine Vs. American Girls
• Argentine Girls Final Thoughts
• Argentine Girls Final Thoughts (Part 2)

P.S. I'm huge on Twitter, with over 1 billion followers. Click here to check out my feed.

You talk about how hard Argentina is but for me it was the biggest pick-up cakewalk I have ever had. The only one I have ever had. The women chased me aggressively.

The reason? Because he “groomed” himself. Yes, dude banged Argentine models because he shaved and put on a nice t-shirt. I called the troll out to lay out his strategy, a story, pictures, or anything that gives his boast some credibility, but of course “he” hasn’t posted since. I use quotes because lately I’m noticing women trolling as men on my blog and others. “The women chased my aggressively” sounds like something a girl would say. (Here’s another example of a girl trolling as a guy and my reasoning why).

There were also some other misguided comments about “looking good.” All things being equal, looking sharper may help you get laid depending on the type of girl you’re going for, but telling a guy to cut his hair in order to bang Argentine girls left and right tells me either you don’t have game or haven’t been to Argentina. In fact for some type of girls, looking sharp will hurt you (hipsters, artsy chicks, midgets, etc.)

Finally an Argentine guy rolls by and tells everyone to sit down and shut up. Here’s some required reading for anyone going to Argentina:

About middle class Argentine girls from an Argentine guy:

1. Our girls drink very little.

2. Our guys are really forward, confident and insistent. A-hole game or direct game will not set you apart, you will just blend in. Last minute resistance is actually Last few days resistance and we are trained to deal with that.

The girls need to rationalize a story for you. You want to be: the guy I met at yoga classes, or the guy who works with my friend, the guy who’s friends with X’s boyfriend or the guy who plays rugby at the club where I play field hockey. Being the random guy I met at a bar is usually not enough. If you are a foreigner, you need a story that will make you be around for a longer period of time (I’m leaving tomorrow will usually backfire and usually so will I’m leaving next week). Girls will make out with guy they met at a bar, but this guy needs to create his story to take it further.

Since most guys will lie, deceive and twist facts when talking to women (btw, “having game” is translated as “tener parla”), girls need to screen the guys.

In terms of tactics:

1. Roll in a group for optimum results. If it is a beach town in the summer, you want to be with the guys who have the motorcycles, jetskis, quads or who are into kite-surfing or beach volleyball. You also want to host house parties or be regulars at a club as part of a big mixed group.

2. The girl you may get will have seen you before. Your groups will join at one point, and that will provide the setting for her to lower her defenses. Because of this tactic, you need to have different groups of girls around, with a few potential targets in each group for each guy.

3. Pickups take time, same night action is rare. As an example, if I’m traveling to Argentina for only a week, I know I won’t be getting much action. The 3-date structure is quite prevalent: you meet a girl at your friend’s birthday party (on a Saturday) and get her phone. You take her out for drinks or dinner the following Wednesday and make out. You catch up with her on Saturday as part of a mixed group. You pick her up and drive her each time so you’ll have the logistical upper hand. Come Saturday, she should put out. But all this relies on me meeting the girl on my first couple of days in town.

Conclusion: the rules of game apply in Argentina, but pickups take much longer (days vs hours). To have multiple girls, you need to be creating your story with multiple girls along time. If you give up on each pickup the same day, your numbers will suffer. You need a big backlog of potential girls to keep your numbers up. A successful crew will have different groups of girls around them. They may throw a party and have them all around (along with other guy crews) or will juggle the groups for smaller outings. The girls will also have different crews to hang out. To differentiate yourself, you need to be part of the most interesting crew. If you don’t have a crew, you need to be a regular at a specific club or bar. Meet a few girls one day, maybe make out with one and have follow up dates or just meet them again next time they go to that club. The 2nd time around, you are no longer a stranger.

Everything he says 100% confirms what I know about Argentine girls. As for the guys who say that Argentine girls are easy to pick up, ask them two questions:

1. How many did you bang?
2. Pics?

You’ll find they either got lucky with one girl or banged a couple that you personally wouldn’t. Not every Argentine girl is beautiful. Believe me that if a gringo banged a hot Argentine girl he has a dozen pictures of her on his computer.

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I always kind of got the impression that THE major benefit of going to places like Colombia was that they were stocked full of beautiful women (way more 8s, 9s, 10s per capita than the U.S., in other words) AND you could seriously do way better there quality-wise than you could in the states: i.e. if the best you could probably get in the U.S. (or whatever your native country is) is a 7.5-8 if you REALLY worked for it, then if you go to Colombia or Brazil or Eastern Europe, THEN the best you could get might be a 8.5-9, maybe even a 10. Do you agree?

Unfortunately no. Your quality dips when you go to countries like Colombia or Argentina. Even if you’re fluent in Spanish, it will be rare you pull better than you did in the States without a lot of time and an enormous amount of effort. So why do it?

I was out with a guy from New York on Thursday at a Medellin club that has the best ladies night in the city. The first 60 girls get in free while everyone else has to pay $15 for an open bar. The point is to get there early to be greeted by tables of girls sitting alone without guys, a rare sight here as everyone goes out in mixed groups. I was talking to my friend at the main bar while warming up with the local drink (aguaardiente). Eventually I asked him why he’s in Colombia when it’s significantly harder to get laid, since as a man with game he didn’t have problems back in the States. He looked at me and just shrugged his shoulders, but I understood him completely.

Sure if I think about it I can come up with valid reasons. I’m here because it’s hard. Because it’s different. Because if it was easy everyone else would be doing it. Because it challenges me. Because the world is a big place. Because I don’t like comfort or stability. Because I’m young. Because the air tastes different. Because it’s cheaper. Because I like taking risks. Because I like speaking a different language. Because I like variety. Because the alternative of living in an American city with an American girlfriend doesn’t appeal to me. Because when I’m on my death bed and look back on my life, I want to see one that was well-lived full of rich experiences, not one of missed opportunity and regret.

I’ve been bitched incredibly hard in South America. I’ve never been so disrespected and so flaked on by women than I have in Colombia and Argentina. I’m talking about ego-shattering treatment that would lead to a hatred of women in weaker men. But I’m still here in Colombia, and I’m still going out and trying my hand, and all the reasons above are just things I came up with after the fact. It’s a game, and I keep going until I get what I want. It’s either in you or not.

If you’re not willing to work harder than you ever have in your life, for returns that are far from guaranteed, then I advise you stay in the United States.

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Argentine girls are hotter than Colombian girls, but also harder.

Brazilian girls are sexier, more interesting and probably hotter than Colombian girls, but also easier.

I say probably because Brazil is a huge country and you get a lot of variance depending on where you go. Plus it will come down to personal taste (i.e. if you like fake tits then Colombia is for you, if you like big asses and a wider variety of color then Brazil).

It’s becoming more obvious to me every day that Brazil is the big winner. The guys who are singing the praises of Colombia the hardest have not yet been to Brazil, and that’s all you really need to know, though I am enjoying myself in Medellin right now and will remain until I finish my second book.

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“Sex is mathematics.”
—American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

One class of email I get are guys who need advice on how to deal with girls from Argentina. I’m posting parts of one recent email along with my answers.

Hey, man. I’m from Washingon, DC. I saw your posts a few months ago about Argentinean girls in Córdoba especially, but I happen to be in Buenos Aires. I’ve been here since June and my game is pretty damn good, but I’d say I have trouble with actually sealing the deal.

I’m nodding my head up and down at this point. I have received dozens of emails with this exact problem.

For example, tonight I met 32 girls, but I have trouble sealing the deal physically. I touch of course, but still I guess it’s hard to get to the kiss. Aparte es dificil convince the chicks that you are the one for them. I’d say I can meet chicks really, really easily, but actually going for it and making sure that we hook up is another thing. And FYI it’s not that I’m a pussy and don’t escalate etc. For example I touch as mentioned, I mention sex, I suggest “us” in a subtle way, and I try to go for it, but usually end up with the girls as friends not fuck buddies.

There are three ways to fuck an Argentine girl. The first is to just go balls out and keeping approaching until you find the slutty one who likes gringos. It’s not efficient but it can work for guys that don’t have enough time to figure them out. Assuming you have decent indirect and aloof game, it should get you pretty close to success. But if your game is direct, generally speaking you will do poorly and risk going 0 for 32. I say “generally speaking” because I have seen one guy successfully work direct game on Argentine girls, but he’s the exception at this point. Stick to indirect and approach a truckload of women and you should hit eventually.

The second way is to use sound strategy, of which I’m still developing. My working theory is this: if you go into a group of Argentine girls with the intent of making out with one of them, it’s almost a certainty you won’t. Instead you have to think, “I’m going to fuck with this girl’s head and she’s going to be so intrigued that she will be on my nutsack.” You have to be the coquette. This passivity goes against everything I’ve learned with how to American girls, but I have accepted that Argentine girls are a different breed of animal. Touching them is mostly ineffective in building attraction. More studies need to be done and if I ever go back to Argentina, I may carry out the research needed to crack the code, as I have for American girls. It would just be a damn shame to have a culture of women that no one has consistently figured out how to fuck.

…another thing; as you mentioned the girls are completely wacko here. It seems like I see a girl staring at me or talk to a girl and she likes me and then she goes coldish saying that she has a boyfriend (obviously and blatantly as if she wants me to know she’s lying) lying) also just kind of moving away even though it’s obvious she wants it. I also think it may have to do with lack of escalation or maybe escalation (kino for example) too fast. And also I think they play hard to get even when they actually like you just to bust your balls,; they is crazy, but obviously some of the cutest girls on this fucking planet.

If you keep doing something that doesn’t work, you need to try something completely different that would never be needed in America. For example, say if often happens that a girl breaks her neck for you and then you walk up to her to say hi but she goes cold. Instead, how about you walk up to her and say, “Excuse me can you stop being rude and staring at me like that? Where I come from we don’t do that.” Have a blank expression so she doesn’t know if you were serious or not.

If a girl shows you her “boyfriend” on her cellphone (something that will happen about 50% of the time), she wants you to think she is desired by another man. Instead how about you say, “Oh wow he’s a good looking guy. Is he gay? I swear at the club I was at last night I saw a guy looking like him kissing another man.” Her response will be to qualify him, putting her on the defensive. Continue the charade with a confused look on your face, as if you think it’s a little strange she likes bisexual men.

I think you get the point. I’m not saying these moves will get you instantly in her pants, but if you constantly experiment you’re bound to strike on something that gets the reaction you want. Bottom line: do something very different than what you are used to doing. Because Argentine girls are very different.

When it comes to Brazilian girls, use standard American game. No change is needed.

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Here’s two other very short videos you may have not seen. The first is called Ecuador Death Road. Captions throughout help guide you through the complex narrative.

Ecuador Death Road from Roosh V on Vimeo.

The second video is called We’re Pretty Much Homeless. Here’s the summary:

Went out to MDM nightclub in Rosario, Argentina. We stayed until early morning and was ready to go back to the hostel but it was impossible to find a free cab. Many kilometers from the hostel, one Australian member of the party had a nervous breakdown which I was able to capture on film. Thirty minutes into our walk, a free cab was finally found.

Another Australian who stayed at the club a bit longer ended up jogging back to the hostel, asking directions in poor Spanish along the way.

My Australian friend is very good looking.

We’re Pretty Much Homeless from Roosh V on Vimeo.

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In December I hit on this Argentine girl in a Buenos Aires club for a couple hours. We exchanged emails midway through but later on she disappeared on me when I went to get a drink. I didn’t email her obviously. Turns out she added my email to her address book, never emailed me, but used the “friend friender” to beef up her new Facebook page. Whatever… *accept*.

After five months of reflection I’m ready for a round two with the Argentines.

Shoulda banged on that bed. I’m a disgrace.

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1. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The secret has been out for over fifty years. Yes, Rio has a very serious crime problem and the police won’t go into many areas without armored vehicles and full SWAT protection, but if you’re a guy looking for a sex vacation and you don’t like Asian girls there is no other city in South America that touches your high odds of getting ass here. Pussy doesn’t fall from the sky, as you might be thinking, but the native girls actually like gringos. Even the native guys like gringos. Go out every night, don’t be a wallflower, and you will get to experience what I plan on experiencing again in the future.

If that hasn’t sold you, how about the a gorgeous backdrop and beach weather nearly year round? Sure the water isn’t sparkling blue, but you’ll be busy on the Ipanema sand angling to get in with the girls in ridiculous bikinis laying next to you.

Low-End Budget: $100-120/day

2. Cordoba, Argentina. The Cordoba tourism agency is going to contact me any day now to thank me for single-handedly increasing tourism to this city by 1000%. I will never get tired of saying that Cordoba has the most beautiful girls in the world. And it’s cheap. And the nightlife jumps. There are no fewer than 30 universities here so good luck meeting a girl over 22. The spinsters here don’t even go out at night because the competition is beyond intense.

A downside of this place is the girls are pretty damn difficult—especially if you don’t know Spanish—but I guarantee you will begging for them when you return home. Their beauty will spoil you until you die. I think I missed American girls for a quick minute until I snapped to my senses: I rather have difficult girls that are my type than easy girls I want to immediately dump after I have sex with them. This is the only place that I talked to 9′s every time I went out, uninterrupted. There is no cockblock brigade in Argentina (or anywhere else in South America). I’ve been back to the States for two months and talked to a 9 once, and I had to compete with only FIFTEEN other guys who felt it was their do-or-die moment.

Low-End Budget: $50/day

3. Merida, Venezuela. I traveled to Venezuela for a random 10 day vacation a couple years back, and Merida is still on my mind. This is like a Cordoba-lite with a large college population that loves to party. I still remember the bar El Hoya de Queque, perhaps the best bar in South America, where I got rejected by my first Venezuelan beauty (9+) who at the time was probably the most stunning girl I talked to. I remember how excited I was just because I had the chance to have a conversation with her.

The girls are not as hot as in Cordoba and there are less of them around (in Cordoba you walk outside and in two minutes you see more beautiful girls than a Thursday, Friday, and Saturday going out in Washington DC—no exaggeration), but Merida has a fantasy setting on the doorstep of the Andes mountains. There’s a lot to do here like horseback riding, canyoning, nature tours, and riding up the tallest cable car in the world. Too bad for Merida that it’s part of a country ruled by a dictator who is doing everything he can to kill the tourism industry. “Who needs gringos when we have this black stuff that is bound to run out some day!!”

Low-End Budget: $60/day

A few people have asked me about my future travel plans. Colombia is high on my list so I can claim to be a South America girl expert, but I’ve been eyeing Eastern Europe lately, and by eyeing I mean I’m asking guys how easy the girls are in Eastern Europe. Perhaps I’ll visit Cordoba and Merida for a nostalgic return, but Rio is going to have to wait a bit until I get my money right, which is not going to happen as long as I stay addicted to Guitar Hero 3.

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Brazilian: “Where are you from?”
Argentine: *Crickets*
American: “What do you do?”

Brazilian: Open toe slippers with some design
Argentine: Closed toe
American: Target brand flip flops

Brazilian: Hair length depends on current life stage
Argentine: Has either Argentine Girl Haircut #1 (long, with bangs) or Argentine Girl Haircut #2 (long, without bangs)
American: Short because long hair was “boring” or “too much work”

Brazilian: Makeout within 30 minutes
Argentine: Makeout if you played the game right, if the moon is aligned with Jupiter, and if her friends and little cousins like you
American: Makeout within 90 minutes

Brazilian: Takes off your jeans and boxers
Argentine: Takes off her big earrings
American: Takes off her shoes

Brazilian: She feels comfortable after sex
Argentine: She feels like she just carried out an important life decision after sex
American: She feels like a slut after sex

Brazilian: Clingy
Argentine: Distant
American: Low self-esteem

Brazilian: Gives you head
Argentine: Does not give you head
American: Gives you head if you imply / ask, but secretly hates it

Brazilian: Anal region exploration strongly encouraged
Argentine: Anal regions forbidden
American: Depends on level of intoxication

Brazilian: Has two or three caiprinha’s
Argentine: Has only one drink, the free one that came with her cover charge
American: Stops drinking when she can no longer feel her friends judging her

Brazilian: Knows how to shake and jiggle her entire body
Argentine: Knows how to dance to house music without showing any sexuality
American: Knows how to rub her ass on a man’s erection

Brazilian: Five second marathon eye contact
Argentine: No eye contact
American: Multiple one second eye contacts

Brazilian: Treats you so well you wonder why she likes you that much
Argentine: Treats you like you are that guy on the corner selling hot dogs
American: Treats you like her favorite coworker

Brazilian: Asks you if you are on Orkut
Argentine: Asks you if you are on MSN chat
American: Google’s you the second she finds out your last name. Uses results to judge your long-term relationship potential.

Brazilian: Licks your face
Argentine: Kisses like her parents are watching
American: Sucks your neck

Brazilian: “Dance With Me” by 112
Argentine: “Enjoy The Silence” by Depeche Mode
American: “Back That Ass Up” by Juvenile

Brazilian: Most extra fat winds up in ass
Argentine: Borderline anorexic
American: Rolls of meat around waist

Brazilian: “I like you”
Argentine: Pretends she doesn’t like you when she really does
American: “You’re nice”

Brazilian: Likes social drinking with friends
Argentine: Likes people watching with friends
American: Likes watching TV alone at home with tub of ice cream

Brazilian: Ugly tattoos
Argentine: Ugly piercings and ugly sunglasses
American: Ugly sunglasses

Brazilian: “I need to bang that.”
Argentine: “Wow she is really pretty.”
American: “She looks easy.”

Brazilian: Always answers the phone
Argentine: Always responds to text messages
American: Would miss the call from the President of France if he happened to call

Brazilian: If you like emotional girls who want to please you
Argentine: If you like frigid girls who chain smoke and act stupid
American: If you like frigid girls who act stupid

It is possible that my experience with Brazilian girls have been extraordinary, but then I wouldn’t be the only one. Second place is hard to place; if the Argentine girl and American girl are equally attractive, I don’t think it makes a large enough difference, but since Argentines are much cuter, it will depend on how much you value a pretty face.

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During severe rainstorms the sewage system overflows and floods the poorly constructed shacks, giving the air a permanent, foul smell. Every home protects their lone television set with a metal gate, and narrow passages between streets turn into forbidden zones at night. If I came here after the sun set, I was warned, I would walk out naked as the day I was born.

Read the whole thing here. Of course it includes nightlife discussion.

Washington Monument?

Previous articles:

The Middle Of The World (Quito, Ecuador)
The Incan Ruins of Cuzco Peru
The Jewel Of The Pacific (Valparaiso, Chile)
Patagonia (Argentina)

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You’ve probably never heard of Iguazu Falls, but it’s the Niagra Falls of South America. Waterfalls are waterfalls, but this beats stone ruins any day.

I uploaded a bunch of other photos this month.

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A French canadian guy came across a guestbook entry at a certain hostel in valpo. He was astounded that the entry happened to be yours, as he had bumped into you in cusco and el chantel.

He then proceeded to tell us about your numerous bodily complications.. followed by the statement.. yeah Roosh is a funny guy.

We werent really listening to him up until the word Roosh was shouted across the hostel breakfast table. Turns out youre quite the backpacker celebrity! Luckily we were able to experience cosmonova without actually going there through your detailed recount.

Backstory:

I met a few Australian girls in Buenos Aires.

I met a guy in Cusco, Peru who is French Canadian. Two months later, I randomly bump into him again in Patagonia, about a thousand miles away.

In Valparaiso, after Peru but before Argentina, I stayed at a hostel that had a guestbook. After a horrible night out I put in a lot of care writing a warning to fellow travellers about a certain club. I signed it with just “Roosh.”

Both the girls and the guy went to Valparaiso at the same hostel at the same time and discovered that they both knew me through this guestbook entry, which I paste for you here (I drafted it on my laptop):

My opinion of Valparaiso will be shaped by what happened to me on Wednesday, October 24, 2007. I went to the club strip off the water and landed in a club called Cosmonova. The main bar only had a dozen people, so I explored and found a room guarded by a stocky bouncer. Inside was a semi-circle of guys sitting quietly in chairs, waiting for something. I thought this was the gay part of the club but there was another room nearby that only had girls. I asked the bartender what was going on but with her Chilean spanish she might as well have been talking in Portuguese.

A local overheard my confusion and escorted me back into the room of men. In the middle of the semi-circle was an overweight chilean woman, wearing only sunglasses. And I mean only sunglasses. Men hooted and hollered as they filmed her with their cell phone cameras. “Very sexy?” the local asked me, in a tone like he was trying to convince me how great his country is for having this spectacle. I nodded yes but it was as sexy as watching a hot dog eating competition. I went back to the bar.

The show ended 15 minutes later. I know this because an avalanche of men frantically searching for a meal poured into the bar. Many went hungry as there was only one girl for every three of them. I use the word “girl” loosely: many were over 30, the type who gets a kick out of watching a shaved, eyebrow plucked man wave his manhood while wearing nothing but a pair of sneakers.

I think it’s time to go back to Argentina.

South America is a big continent. Even with Lonely Planet, the odds of this happening is incredibly small. It made my day.

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1. Argentine girls love disappearing. You think they are loving you hours after you first approached, and then they just ditch you. This may be a reason why Argentine guys are dicks: Why put in the work and be nice and spend all that time if she’s going to ditch?

2. Escalation is different. When an American girl starts touching you a lot and holding your arm, you’re money and can ramp up. When an Argentine girl does it, it’s bait and you should not escalate quite yet. If you bite too early, you “lose” and that’s that. You need to wait longer than normal for when the vibe of the interaction changes; she’ll start staring at you differently and smiling when there is nothing to smile about. Only then do you escalate. I’m still not too clear about this.

3. Dancing is crucial in almost all pick-ups. Since there is no such thing as grinding here, that means you dance for hours a foot away from her touching now and then, waiting and waiting like a puppy dog until you get the green light explained above. If you are the kind of guy like me who prefers leaning against the bar all night with a drink in your hand, you will get significantly less than your twin who hits the dance floor. While dancing offers no certainty you’ll get anything, it’s the only way to have her attention for long periods of time.

4. There is no cockblocking here from the girlfriends. I’m convinced cockblocking is a cultural phenomenon.

5. If I could try one thing differently, I would go serious push game. Constant challenging. Make it seem like every answer they give is wrong and she has absolutely zero chance with you. Saying things like “I wish you were…” While smiling of course. The only way to find out how far you can go is to make a few girls genuinely mad at you.

6. There is a “you’re not worth anything if you’re easy” meme floating in Argentina, which means an Argentine girl will never make it easy for you. It’s always a headache.

7. Argentine girls like sex, but on the surface the culture is not very sexually liberalized. For example I’ve never seen such conservative dress before; the girls never show cleavage and they think sexy is showing off their skinny arms. At the end of the night in a U.S. club, a significant number of people are making out. In Argentina it’s very few couples. You’ll find fast girls but on average they are slower than Americans.

8. In two months I’ve never seen an Argentine girl buzzed, tipsy, alegre, whatever. They just dance or talk all night. Plus there is no shooter culture like in the U.S. The nightspots don’t even have shot glasses.

9. Because Argentina does not have an easy pick-up environment, social circle is very important. Gringos who have done well with Argentine girls are ones that have enrolled in school for an extended period of time and built up a social circle. The advice that an American would give a friend to find a wife is the same an Argentine gives to get laid. The average notch count here has to be lower for both sexes.

10. In most cultures, when someone is staring at you, you look to see who it is. But the girls here will definitely not look at you if they know you are staring. If I’m walking on the sidewalk and notice a cute girl walking towards me, I avert eye contact and pretend I’m not paying attention until I feel her looking at me. Then I look at her eyes. She’ll panic and look away immediately. You are not supposed to know she is looking at you because that may mean she is interested. That’s how Argentine girls are.

In conclusion, the girls are a pain in the ass, but every system can be cracked—it’s just a matter of how long it takes. But why bother when Brazil is right next door?

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I set out on the clearest of days towards Lake Capri to get views of the main attraction, Fitz Roy, a sharp mountain named by our man Francisco Moreno. I found out why so many hikers I passed on the trail were decked out in serious hiking gear when the wind picked up, the clouds covered the sky, and snow flurries starting blowing in my face. I was in jeans, running shoes, and a sweater, and this is where the regret I was talking about kicked in.

In case you missed the previous articles:

The Middle Of The World (Quito, Ecuador)
The Incan Ruins of Cuzco Peru
The Jewel Of The Pacific (Valparaiso, Chile)

P.S. I'm huge on Twitter, with over 1 billion followers. Click here to check out my feed.

Twelve days later I got a large cheese pizza for takeout and ate it at the hostel. The pizza was so good that the only thing to do the cheese grease justice was to wash it down with a coke. I went to the kiosco across the street and was second in line behind a woman. She paid and through the cage I asked for my coke. Trying to explain I wanted the mas pequeña size, my horrible Spanish accent got her attention and she looked at me. I recognized her as the woman trying to sell the newspapers.

I don’t remember who spoke first, but she asked me where I was from and said I looked Argentine. I joked how no Argentine guy has as much hair as me. We talked for about five minutes, about left and right brain differences and how she likes art and how my scientist gig didn’t do it for me and how her engineer friend has social issues. We were two strangers having an interesting conversation.

She had a large bag on her shoulder which had the newspapers. I was waiting for her to ask me to buy me one, which I was happily going to do. But she never asked.

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I was in a nice restaurant in Salta, getting ready to order after reviewing the menu. The waiter came to me. He looked like Erik Estrada but with thicker hair. I told him I wanted a particular chicken dish and he looked at me, smiled, and with great energy said, “Perfecto señor.” Holy shit I ordered the best thing on the menu! I don’t remember the last time I dined at a restaurant like Panera and the pimply faced teenager said my sandwich choice was perfect. Erik Estrada approved of my selection, and because of that approval we had a bond that transcended between two very different cultures. The way he held the smile as he spoke and said “Perfecto señor” will forever burn his face into my brain, more so than the actual dish. This is starting to sound gay so I’ll stop but good luck getting that kind of treatment at Applebees.

Postscript: It seems like saying “perfect” is a common thing waiters do in Argentina, but Erik’s perfect was real. He knew me from my vibe.

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Seven girls check into the hostel. Three of them lock eye contact with me. Definitely not from Argentina. I see a Brazilian flag on one of their bags.

Even though I have accepted it, I’m in disbelief that an entire country of girls can not perform such a minor, innocent move. Imagine when you want more than just eye contact. Imagine when you want an Argentine girl to put some real investment into you. I figured out a few things that make it easier, but damn I still can’t figure out the game that is consistent on Argentine girls. I think what I’ve gotten has been right time / right place, and I’ve tried about everything. I won’t figure it out on this trip.

Anyway I gotta go—those Brazilian girls just sat next to me.

CONTINUED: Seven Brazilian Girls Walk Into A Hostel

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They funny thing is that most people have regular jobs. Many times I’m talking to someone in a club and they inform me they have to be at work in two hours.

Cordoba

Mitre. If you don’t want to meet any girls over 22 then come here. Music is top notch with a good mix of just about everything except salsa. This is the easiest place to find 16-year-olds, if you are into that sort of thing (that would be a birth date in the 90′s). Go starting on Thursday. $4 cover with beer.

Pobre Diablo. The after hours club that reminds me of Club 5 in DC. Don’t go here unless you already have a chick because there are packs of really drunk guys giving one last ditch effort to get laid. At least the average Argentine guy is more friendly and less belligerent than the average American guy. (I’ve been in Argentina for over a month and have yet to see a club fistfight.) $3 cover for guys.

Dorian Gray. Relatively new club that is popular on Saturday nights. Main floor plays house and a smaller room plays retro and even some hip hop. A little weird with the transsexuals walking around but I’ve had the most luck with Cordoba girls here. $5 cover with beer.

Club F. Way out in the boonies but worth it. I still have more traveling to do but this is the hottest collection of girls I’ve seen anywhere (sorry Gotica). Because no gringos make it out here your status will get you farther than back in town. Downside is that catching a cab back is so difficult that you may have to find a bus (people get so desperate that they throw themselves in front of cabs). Still, it doesn’t get better than this. Go on Saturday. $5 cover with beer.

Rondeau Street Bars. Several blocks of just bars and clubs. The clubs are smaller than the ones above but they have friendlier girls. Don’t be scared to approach large groups of girls sitting down. There is also a few bars around where Fuctuoso Rivera turns into Larranaga. It’s dead here from Sunday until Tuesday.

Rosario Nightlife

Listen! Yeah there is an exclamation point in the name. Pretty decent bar that is just what I’ve been looking for: a club/bar combo. Plus there are no other gringos. The girls here are much friendlier than what you’d find in a nearby megaclub such as…

MDM (pronounced Madame). Me and three other gringos skipped the one block line when I said I was doing a review for the Washington Post. I don’t believe that worked, especially since I was wearing a cowboy hat. I have a feeling this club used to be a factory judging by the huge chimney stack in the back. It’s now a pussy factory, with more hot girls in one place than entire U.S. cities. Unfortunately there are more guys to match them and the girls here have an attitude problem, especially after 3:30AM or so. In fact, one of my wingmen got violently slapped. It was kind of my fault when I accidentally pushed his hand on a girl’s ass, but still, he didn’t have to squeeze. We should have stayed at Listen! $3 cover with beer.

One thing I really like about Argentine clubs is that there isn’t the obsession on making a buck with table service, though I’m sure it’s just a matter of time until that changes. Missing are those guys who want you to look at them because they are able to pay a 700% premium on a bottle of “French” vodka that a French person has never heard of.

Now I go to Buenos Aires.

Mitre

MDM

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