It’s nice when you have a seduction that’s more like a lay-up and can be approached with copy and paste techniques gleaned from whatever pickup resource you are studying from. If you have a niche then this is very likely, and one bang may look very similar to the rest, but if you’re thrust into new environments then you’re going to have to think on-the-fly and make guesses about what you should do.

I want to give a case study of an early seduction with a Colombian girl, the roadblocks I faced and why I chose to go in certain directions.

Step 1: The Meet. This was a day game approach in a Medellin university. I opened a girl alone sitting on a cafeteria table and within 20 minutes I had her cell phone number, home phone, and email. She spoke no English so the conversation was in Spanish. This happened on a Tuesday.

Step 2: Monkey Wrench. A 3-day holiday weekend was coming up so it would be at least a week until I could get her out (I don’t like scheduling first dates on weekends). Trying to a date for two days later would be way too needy unless there was an incredible connection upon meeting (i.e. sex) and I also didn’t want to call “just to say hi” because that’s idiotic. That left Monday as the next available day I could call her, a pretty long wait of six days. I needed a bridge to keep myself “in the news.”

Step 3: First Contact. I emailed her Friday telling her to have a good holiday weekend and that I’ll call her afterwards so that “maybe” we can do something. I asked her no questions, making it impossible for her to keep me in the lurch if she so decided the play the waiting game with me.

Step 4: First Reply. She replied on Sunday with smiley faces and various other emoticons, but she informed me she lost her cell phone so I have to call her home phone to talk to her.

Step 5: First Call. I called her house the next day. I figured her mom would answer, and sure enough she did, but the girl wasn’t there. I declined to leave a message. Now it’s getting a little sticky—I don’t want to keep calling her house, and she didn’t seem to check her email often. What to do?

Step 6: Improvise. I decided to email her a few hours after my first call attempt. I wrote, “Hey I just called but you weren’t there. When you have time, my cell phone number is so and so, or I can call you later.”

Do you see the mistake? By saying “I can call you later,” I was telling her that she didn’t have to call at all and put in any work, the opposite of what I wanted. So I deleted the mistake portion and hit send.

Step 7: Keep It Alive. Two days later she writes back saying she will call me the second her phone is activated (more smiley faces). This means she doesn’t want to make the first call. Not unexpected, but time is ticking. I couldn’t afford to wait much longer because momentum was being lost. I decided to try setting a date via email.

Step 8: Setting The Date. I wanted to suggest a date a few days away to account for her infrequent email checking, and since I didn’t know her schedule I had to throw out two possible nights so I don’t get an initial refusal that would prolong the process.

My email reply was, “Or we can just plan to do something through email. I know a good bar in Parque Lleras, how about tuesday or wednesday around 8?”

Note my undercapitalizations. This may seem trivial but if a girl is breezy with her emails you don’t want to hire a proofreader for yours. Don’t try harder than she is.

She replied in 10 minutes, saying Wednesday would be best. So she does check her email often, but sits on replies. She’s playing the game a little but not hard enough that suggests she’d be a headache.

Step 9: Confirming The Date. The day before the date she finally called me, confirming the date. It went on as planned.

After attraction is built most of the game is logistical, keeping up hot pursuit, and not doing anything stupid. We only exchanged a few dozen words during the date-setting process, but my timing and the way I structured the ask made the date happen on a somewhat reluctant girl. You have to be aggressive but non-needy, and striking the balance between the two is where you’ll see the most success.

All that mental effort to set one date is fascinating if you ask me. And why do I do it? For the pussy and the old in-out in-out, yes, but also for the sense of accomplishment of tagging something new. I’m sure it’ll get old some day.

In Medellin I was the old guy on campus. Even when I wasn’t taking classes I’d go there on certain afternoons to study Spanish and hit on girls. Some American women may say that’s disgusting and pathetic, and who knows maybe it is (laugh), but I can assure you there is nothing disgusting or pathetic about slamming a college girl that looks 16-years-old.

I want to talk about how to deal with the intense, sometimes brutal flakiness that college girls put out when trying to get them out on a date. This post isn’t about meeting them because it’s just as easy as any other girl, perhaps easier because of their bubbly and free-spirited nature.

I’ve only dated a couple college girls in the States as an adult, and sure they were unreliable, but the flakiness exhibited by Colombian college girls (and Colombian girls in general) exceeded anything I’ve ever seen in my life. I became so accustomed to it that even if I had a date I proceeded as if I didn’t. There was a 50% chance the girls would either cut off all contact on the day of the date or send a cancellation text message a few minutes before it was supposed to start—and that’s if you’re lucky (I’ve had guys tell me the girls didn’t cancel until they were already waiting at the bar). Days go by after the cancellation until they tell you a laughable excuse on MSN Messenger.

I’ve tried to work many different angles. Being patient with the girl doesn’t work. If you accept getting flaked she will just flake on you again (this one girl got me three fucking times). Being aggressive doesn’t work. You look desperate and scare the girl off. Being angry doesn’t work either, because why should a girl care if you, some guy she hasn’t even made out with yet, gets mad at her flakiness? There is only one option left: fighting fire with fire. You must be flakey yourself.

You don’t want to use the fire strategy on a college girl who isn’t a flake, so it’s best you get flaked on a lot to be able to identify the flake’s unique characteristics. But let me get you started: generally speaking if the college girl is hot and has a large social circle then she’s a flake. If she is a no greater than cute and has few friends, then she probably isn’t.

Now set a date like you normally would by asking her for a drink a day or two in advance. If she agrees, tell her you will call her that afternoon to set a time but are thinking around 9pm, for example. Then when the day of the date rolls around, simply don’t call or text her.

If she attempts to call or text you towards the evening that means she got anxious about going out with you and wants to ask if the date is still on for the night. Pick up the phone or text her back and set up the time as usual. (If she contacts you way early in the afternoon then it’s to cancel—don’t respond.)

If she doesn’t call or text you, that means she didn’t give a shit about you enough to see if the date was on or not. Bummer.

Only do this with flakes! This is a technique you don’t want to introduce to a girl who is going along with the river’s current, as it may fuck things up.

For flakes you need to put out a strong “I don’t give a shit” vibe, and nothing does that more than simply not confirming a date when you said you would. It’s by no means foolproof, and doesn’t prevent a premeditated flake, but it’s the best available tool I have come up with that hits her with the right aloof vibe while making her do at least some of the work.

The most optimal game depends on two things: the nature of the women and the culture they reside in. But since women are deeply affected by culture, we can say that it’s really culture that determines the type of game you need to use.

Once you understand the culture, you can devise a game that works in that culture (and that culture alone). Some pieces of game can be shifted around, but not all. For example cocky game works great in the United States, but less so in Colombia. It is more effective in Argentina, but not as much in Brazil. Why is that?

Cocky game was made for confident girls. Since American girls are much more confident, we’d expect it to have a strong effect. On the other hand the girls of Colombia and Brazil are rather needy and insecure. Cocky game is too hard for them, and therefore should be used sparingly, if at all (anything past light teasing will decrease attraction instead of increasing it). The girls of Argentina think they’re European, and with that comes an increase in confidence where you’d see more utility with the cocky vibe.

Instead of throwing yourself into the fire and trying a bunch of random things in a new country, it’s wiser to understand facets of how that culture works and then work your way backwards. Let’s do that with Colombia, which has two main cultural differences that greatly affect how you play the game.

1. Cell Phone Use. Charges are borne on those making the call, not receiving them, so everyone there answers their phone. No one wants to have to call the person back because making calls is very expensive (40 cents a minute). No one leaves a voicemail, and if you leave one it’s a guarantee it won’t be checked promptly. Text messaging is also comparatively expensive, and not frequently used by those who aren’t Americanized. Service is not as reliable and messages can arrive hours late.

Most people never make calls with their cell phone. They go to independent minuto celular vendors located on most street corners to make calls at a cheap rate, usually because they have empty balances on their cell phone and can only receive calls. They are also very slow to recharge their balance. Every time someone calls you it will probably be from a new number, so therefore there is no call screening in Colombia. Girls answer their phone most of the time when you call.

Optimal Game: When you get a girl’s phone number, do not text message her and do not leave voicemails. Call her in 2-4 days and if she doesn’t answer then the correct play is to keep calling back once a day. Leaving a text message may not get a response if she has no money in her balance so setting dates via text is not advised. If she’s not answering it’s because she’s genuinely busy, not because she is screening, since the strange number could be her cousin for all she knows.

Interesting Twist: Email game plays here. I’ve set dates with email relatively easily. MSN Messenger is also popular, but it’s a rather time-consuming way to set a date and I avoid it since you both have to catch each other online at the same time.

2. Family. Family is the most important part of Colombian life. Every girl lives at home with her parents, and they require details of her social life (including potential suitors). Even if she’s in her 20’s, she needs permission to go out. It’ll be common for one of her parents to call her during your date. She also has a curfew which means she cannot stay out late. You usually don’t have enough time to take her out and then return to your love dungeon for a lengthy bedroom seduction.

Optimal Game: The home dinner date. It’s the most reliable way of getting a girl into your house and boozed up in a short amount of time. Be sure to cook a light meal without a lot of grease so the alcohol absorbs properly (I recommend a basic chicken stir-fry with rice). Since you don’t have to move locations, you can bang her without going over her curfew. You generally can’t do two dinner dates in a row so only use it when you’re at least 50% certain she’s ready to bang (preferably after you’ve made out with her). I’ve done more dinner dates in Colombia in six months than in the United States the previous five years.

Interesting Twist: If you have a poor girl on your hands, she may ask you for taxi money back home.

A third dimension which I’ll just briefly mention is social circle. There is no nighttime pick-up culture in Colombia as girls hang out in huge mixed-set groups, so the optimal game will involve more daytime approaches at malls and universities.

I’m tempted to add Catholicism. Brainwashing from the church causes girls here to give robust resistance in the bedroom, but since the optimal game remains the same (persistence) there really is no need to describe it in-depth.

If you just understand the cell phone and family differences in Colombia, you’ll be well ahead of other gringos in banging the girls there. There are others which I will discuss in the future, but these two are the most important.

When you want to bang abroad, you’ll save yourself a lot of grief if you step back and see how the culture functions. How is the belief system different? What are some common things you see differently from your own country? What are the personalities and behaviors of guys who have the hot women? Then devise a few tactics that may be more suitable for your new environment and try them out.

But how about if you don’t have enough time in your visit to study cultural nuances and just want to get your flag? Then throw efficiency out the window and approach like a machine with the game you know. And hope for best.

There are four nightlife areas I visited in a weekend trip:

1. La Sexta – the main strip of bars and clubs. A little cheesy but has the most amount of people. It’s kind of split into two parts so if you’re wondering “Is this it?” then you have to walk a couple more blocks down (or up).

2. Granada – a much smaller area of bars and restaurants catering mostly to the middle/upper class and located only a few blocks from La Sexta. You’ll find a few gringos here, especially in the bar Bourbon Street (Calle 17N 8N-45), though with the live music and friendly vibes it’s actually a lot of fun. The girls here like gringos but the quality isn’t great (if you’ve been to Medellin then it’s kind of like Blue). There are three pubs nearby that I didn’t try.

3. Menga – a strip of large clubs heavy on the salsa and wooden tables, the latter of which makes it hard to casually mingle unless it’s absolutely packed (it was half dead when I went because of a holiday weekend). As typical in the rest of Colombia, groups are mixed sex. The club Mango Biche is a reasonable choice (10k peso cover) as it plays a mix of music and not just salsa. Jala Jala is supposedly the best if you want to dance to salsa all night long.

4. Parque de Perro in Barrio San Fernando – a square with a couple dozen bars and clubs. Popular with younger people who don’t mind drinking on the street than actually going inside a bar. Probably best for a date than picking up but I like the vibe most here.

Except for places in Menga, all bars and clubs in the city close at 2am on Friday and Saturday (and 1am on Thursday), so it’s best to get started early.

Two quick day game options:

1. Chipichape Mall – huge mall that is good for hanging out and people watching.

2. Juan Valdez Cafe (on the corner of Calle 17N and Av 8 near Bourbon Street) – this is quite the hangout for the upper class and the hottest girls I saw in Cali were here. Chat up girls at neighboring tables, asking for their nightlife opinions or whatever.

The bottom line is that Medellin’s nightlife is better as you have more variety, more “western-style” bars, later hours, and hotter girls. So if you think Medellin nightlife sucks then you won’t like Cali’s unless you’re crazy about salsa.

For nights I’d just start in Bourbon Street then go to La Sexta. Take dates to Parque de Perro. If I stayed a while in Cali I’d just focus on day game to meet girls because nightlife here is way too hit or miss. I’m told that Thursday and Friday are not great nights to go out, leaving only Saturday to mack.

On the bright side, there are less gringos and things are cheaper, but for good times Medellin and Bogota will give you more options.

For more on Colombia, check out these forum threads:

• Housing in Medellin
• Dealing with Colombian flakes
• Review of Medellin, Colombia
• An Intro To Colombian Girls
• Medellin Tips
• Hook Up Rating: Medellin

There is a reason Medellin is such a popular destination.

Time really flies when you stay in the same place and develop a routine. Six months in Colombia is done and gone as tomorrow I leave Medellin for Fortaleza, Brazil. From there begins a 1,700 mile journey back to Rio that I plan on tackling by bus (check the about page for map updates). I’m sure nothing bad at all will happen during that time.

Before leaving Medellin I wanted to do a sort of tribute video that shows how far the city has come from the Pablo Escobar days of the past. Using clips I’ve shot of the city over the past couple months, I’ve put together something poweful which I’m confident will increase Colombian tourism by a significant amount. In fact I’m expecting the Colombia Tourism Board to start sending me royalty checks or just hire me outright as a travel consultant.

The video has a subtle reference from A Dead Bat In Paraguay for those of you who read the book. Here it is…

Thank you Medellin, for making these past six months so wonderful.

I recently wrote a tongue-in-cheek guest post for Medellin Living, a blog run by a guy named Dave who I met here in Colombia. Here’s an excerpt:

3. There’s casas and there’s casas. I’m talking about the places where older gentleman callers visit for 30 or 60 minute intervals. Many gringos I’ve spoken to, especially American gringos, have told me that frequenting these casas is great for their Spanish, and is much more economical and fun than paying for a 38-hour block of lessons from EAFIT. This is a great option if you don’t mind that your language study to come with a slight risk of the clap.

EAFIT is a popular university where many gringos study Spanish. I like to think the post is funnier if you’ve been to Medellin.

Dave also wrote a review of my new book on his other blog, Go Backpacking.

Ultimately, A Dead Bat In Paraguay is not your typical travel memoir, and that’s exactly why I enjoyed it. Roosh’s book should appeal to all backpackers, though I have a hunch young men will appreciate it more. For the lady travelers, if you’re curious to gain some insight into the inner workings of the male backpacker’s mind against the backdrop of discovering foreign lands, you’ll want to check it out too.

Time is ticking for me here in Medellin as I have to leave the country by October 22. You can only stay in Colombia for six months a year on a tourist visa.

I got an excellent response to my American Girls Are Easy post:

I always kind of got the impression that THE major benefit of going to places like Colombia was that they were stocked full of beautiful women (way more 8s, 9s, 10s per capita than the U.S., in other words) AND you could seriously do way better there quality-wise than you could in the states: i.e. if the best you could probably get in the U.S. (or whatever your native country is) is a 7.5-8 if you REALLY worked for it, then if you go to Colombia or Brazil or Eastern Europe, THEN the best you could get might be a 8.5-9, maybe even a 10. Do you agree?

Unfortunately no. Your quality dips when you go to countries like Colombia or Argentina. Even if you’re fluent in Spanish, it will be rare you pull better than you did in the States without a lot of time and an enormous amount of effort. So why do it?

I was out with a guy from New York on Thursday at a Medellin club that has the best ladies night in the city. The first 60 girls get in free while everyone else has to pay $15 for an open bar. The point is to get there early to be greeted by tables of girls sitting alone without guys, a rare sight here as everyone goes out in mixed groups. I was talking to my friend at the main bar while warming up with the local drink (aguaardiente). Eventually I asked him why he’s in Colombia when it’s significantly harder to get laid, since as a man with game he didn’t have problems back in the States. He looked at me and just shrugged his shoulders, but I understood him completely.

Sure if I think about it I can come up with valid reasons. I’m here because it’s hard. Because it’s different. Because if it was easy everyone else would be doing it. Because it challenges me. Because the world is a big place. Because I don’t like comfort or stability. Because I’m young. Because the air tastes different. Because it’s cheaper. Because I like taking risks. Because I like speaking a different language. Because I like variety. Because the alternative of living in an American city with an American girlfriend doesn’t appeal to me. Because when I’m on my death bed and look back on my life, I want to see one that was well-lived full of rich experiences, not one of missed opportunity and regret.

I’ve been bitched incredibly hard in South America. I’ve never been so disrespected and so flaked on by women than I have in Colombia and Argentina. I’m talking about ego-shattering treatment that would lead to a hatred of women in weaker men. But I’m still here in Colombia, and I’m still going out and trying my hand, and all the reasons above are just things I came up with after the fact. It’s a game, and I keep going until I get what I want. It’s either in you or not.

If you’re not willing to work harder than you ever have in your life, for returns that are far from guaranteed, then I advise you stay in the United States.

I’ve been learning idioms here in Colombia to seemlessly integrate myself with the locals. The challenge is using them properly in live conversation, and I’m happy to say that I did just that with one I’ve been dying to use for a while.

The English idiom “I need to sleep on it” translates to “Tengo que consultarlo con la almohada.” If you translate that back to English it means, “I have to consult with the pillow.” It’s a great idiom.

I went to a street market to buy some lemons, which in Colombia are green like limes and share the same name. To clarify: both lemons and limes in Colombia are green, and they are both called lemons, but different types of lemons. Lemons are called limon and limes are called limon tahiti, suggesting that they are both members of the same family. If you ask a vendor for a lima, what most gringos think of as the Spanish word for lime, you won’t be understood.

American lemons are larger than limes, but in Colombia the lemons are smaller and look almost exactly like American limes.

Yet there’s more…

Oranges in Colombia are green, like American limes. Again, the oranges are green. They’re still called naranja, which is Spanish for orange. What really fucks with your head is cutting open a Colombian lemon or orange to see bright yellow or orange pulp inside a green shell.

Back to the story. At the market the vendor knew I was gringo and quoted me $0.75 for two green lemons, an outrageous sum. In my plain clothing I don’t understand how he pegged me for a very wealthy man.

I got him down to $0.50, then said, “Tengo que consultarlo con la almohada” and walked away. Score! The look on his face said, “Who the fuck is this interesting gringo?”

Down the street I found a place that sold me four lemons for $0.20. This short series of events worked out really great for me.

Or so I thought, because when I went home I actually bought limes. Now if I come across a recipe that calls for a lemon or lime, I look for another recipe.

It’s no secret that Colombian girls are a chubby bunch thanks to the grease that finds its way in every meal. While it wouldn’t hurt for them to lose between 5-10 pounds, most between the ages of 18-30 are bangable. Yes, I’m coming out to say that at least 51% of Colombian girls are sex worthy. A drink or two and you’ll ram a lot of what you see on the streets.

Can I say the same with American girls? Hmmm…

The other day I was in the Medellin immigration office to renew my tourist visa along with a couple dozen other gringos. There were three American girls that I identified through their accent, and do you know what all three had in common? They were GIGANTIC. I forgot about bad it was in America until their unsightly masses reminded me.

Here’s your average American woman:

I’m sure my foreign readers are wondering if I’m fucking around. I’m not. She is average if you account for the entire United States and not just metropolitan cities.

Here’s your average Colombian woman:

Yeah she has the thunder thighs, and most likely a little roll above her vagina, but nothing that would rule her out from sex. You’d slam her, as would I.

“But Roosh not all American girls are fat.”

True but the small supply of skinny ones causes their market value to shoot through the roof, kind of like what happened to Beanie Babies and the Wii. The fatties end up polluting the entire poon supply.

With Colombian girls you think, “Chica needs to chill on them empanadas.” With American girls you think, “Gorda needs to stop eating.” There is also something else going on. The chubby Colombian girls will have a fun, feminine vibe that makes you still want to fuck them, but American girls don’t have this—without looks you get a debater who wears flip-flops and reads supermarket magazines to learn how to please a man. I love getting into a conversation about American women with gringo men because of the nonstop brutality and laughs that ensue. No foreign man prefers American girls except loser Italian guys. They are the worst in the world, though British girls are pretty damn close.

For all of you stuck in the States gaming these girls, you have my sympathy, as I did it for many years. Sure Colombian girls can be smothering and overly affectionate (meloso), but that’s a flaw I’m willing to accept. I think you would do too.

I’m not sure how Colombians make it past age 50 with most everything they eat fried in recycled grease. While Americans eat unhealthy food as well, for them it’s not so much the quality of food but the fact that they eat too much. Colombians don’t eat a lot, but they have grease with everything.

First let me introduce you to the buñuelo. It’s a ball of deep-fried white dough. That’s it. Fried in that recycled yellow grease. If you squeeze it in your hand all the grease comes rushing out and drips onto the ground. Of course it tastes delicious.

Then there is the palo de queso, which is slightly less popular and sold in bakeries. It’s a simple rod of pastry loaded with cheese curd. But is there a way to make that more unhealthy? Yes, by deep frying the bitch in the yellow grease and sell it for a few cents more. The first time I had the extreme palo de queso I felt like I was drinking straight-up grease with all the oil that got stuck in the layer between the bread covering and the cheese filling.

There was another episode with the palo de queso. My Colombian friend took a first bite and, I swear to God, it ejaculated a stream of grease onto his forearm, scalding his skin. The guevon manning the counter gave him a napkin without skipping a beat, telling me that this was common, and my friend shrugged it off. I’m told that more Colombians are hospitalized every year due to hot grease burns than chest pains.

It’s not uncommon for a Colombian to see my lunch (peanuts, avocado, banana, corn pancake), and remark how healthy I am. What they really mean is boring. They’d switch out the banana for a plantain, fry it, smother the pancake (arepa) with cheese and possibly sausage, and toss the avocado on top with dollops of Colombian red mayonnaise. If you come to Colombia to open a health-food store, you will only get business from annoying gringos who carry around handwoven “day bags” bought in either Ecuador, Peru, or Bolivia. Without a deep-fat fryer, your establishment will not win the bellies of the locals and you will have to close shop or turn it into a backpackers hostel.

But the big question is, does this unhealthy diet translate to fat Colombian women? I will share my thoughts on the matter next.