PREVIOUS REENACTMENTS:

• Arm Crossing Approach
• Do You Have To Stand Right Next To Me?
• Doughboy’s Super Direct Game
• Running Into A One-Night Stand
• Did You Fuck On My Couch?
• Bookstore Pickup
• My Personal Crisis
• The Reenactment Video That Ends The Obesity Epidemic

This latest reenactment happened at my favorite bar. The black teddy bear is Omar.

I’ve been hit on by quite a few gays in my life. Even though I have zero interest in homosexual relations, and am repulsed that a man wants to do activities with me involving either my anus or his, I’m still respectful and polite. I answer their questions but ask no questions of my own, and it usually only takes a minute for him to get the hint. No harm, no foul.

So it says a lot to me when a girl responds like a bitch when I try to start a conversation without insulting her. I don’t care how many lame guys tried to hit on her beforehand, or how bad her day was, or how far along her cervical cancer is, but if someone comes up to you in a nice manner, you should return the favor. It’s fine if you give one-word answers—I’ll get the hint in twenty seconds—but going out of your way to put me down shows you don’t even possess basic humanity. That type of girl would see a bleeding body lying on the sidewalk and not do anything because she desperately wants to fire off a text message to her friend that recaps the latest episode of Glee.

If I can treat gay guys with kindness, when I don’t engage in that anus lifestyle, there is no excuse for a woman to not do the same to a man who approaches her in a public place. The girl is free to act like a bitch if the guy is rude, but otherwise she needs to take a hard look at reality, which says that she has absolutely no worth to the human species besides her vagina. Pick any woman from a crowd of your choosing and I’ll bet $10,000 that she will not add a single drop of knowledge or wisdom to mankind during her lifetime. No woman does.

You don’t want to talk to guys? That’s fine, just don’t come out and expose me to your anti-social retardation. Stay the fuck home.

PREVIOUS REENACTMENTS:

• Arm Crossing Approach
• Do You Have To Stand Right Next To Me?
• Doughboy’s Super Direct Game
• Running Into A One-Night Stand
• Did You Fuck On My Couch?
• Bookstore Pickup
• My Personal Crisis

I wanted to pile on Roissy’s recent anti-fat crusade with some activism of my own. In the following teddy bear video, I use a fictional conversation with a fatty to “hypnotize” all fatties into losing weight. Fatties who watch my video will find themselves shedding pounds in the next couple of weeks, seemingly by magic. No cookie diet necessary.

Let me guess—you now have the uncontrollable urge to remain hungry, right? Great success!

NEW CONTEST:

On a totally unrelated note, after numerous complaints I’ve come to the conclusion that the cover to A Dead Bat In Paraguay sucks major balls. So I’m holding a cover redesign contest on Crowdspring where the winner gets $550 of real money. Read the details. I’m hoping this bountiful prize will attract some real talent that can improve one of the crappiest covers ever made. Contest ends on November 23.

PREVIOUS REENACTMENTS:

• Arm Crossing Approach
• Do You Have To Stand Right Next To Me?
• Doughboy’s Super Direct Game
• Running Into A One-Night Stand
• Did You Fuck On My Couch?
• Bookstore Pickup

Continuing on the theme from Wednesday’s post, this video reenacts a recent conversation I had with myself while out at a bar with friends. My alter egos are represented by South American soccer players. This is the most emotional and groundbreaking reenactment I’ve done.

I will have to make a decision soon.

REENACTMENT CONTEST UPDATE:

Speaking of decisions, I’ve chosen the winner to the reenactment contest. The grand prize goes to… Bookstore Pickup by mkpoway. While many videos were entertaining, Bookstore Pickup had the highest overall score based on the categories of humor, game, and authenticity. The viewers choice award goes to Rose Tattoo, which many readers enjoyed. Thanks to everyone for participating.

PREVIOUS REENACTMENTS:

• Arm Crossing Approach
• Do You Have To Stand Right Next To Me?
• Doughboy’s Super Direct Game
• Running Into A One-Night Stand
• Did You Fuck On My Couch?

I received 13 entries for the contest. They display a range of game and humor in a variety of settings, so choosing a winner will be tough. I want to have an open commenting period so you can share your thoughts to help me decide on the best video.

If I had to pick the winner today, it would probably come down to one of the following two submissions.

Bookstore Pickup:

“I tried to pick up a girl working at Barnes N Noble. I used a book about the moon as a prop.”

What a nice example of cocky game using an indirect opener while finishing off with direct flourishes. It’s not hard to imagine this working on a young bookstore employee.

Absurd Booty Call:

“An under the radar booty call turns into absurdity when the girl brings her dog with us.”

The funniest entry. I like the time warp effect where the contestant shows several scenes in the same video.

Below are the rest of the submissions. Click the title link to watch (links open in a new window).

• Roommate Sex – “Soon after a painful breakup, I moved cross country with a long-time female friend who had constantly rejected my advances for years. She changed her mind when we got to our new place.”
• Airplane Pickup
• Seducing A Feminist by Dagonet – “A recent conversation I had at a pretentious party.”
• Fresh Off The Boat by Vincent Ignatius – “A hot Indian fob was flirting with my American-born half-Indian friend. He’s too much of a pussy to cheat on his girlfriend, even when she’s 1000 miles away. I didn’t know she was behind me.”
• Gangbang Tonight – “This is a real life approach I made a few months ago when I decided to have some fun and fuck with people. I promise that it is all true and I did get her number”
• English Bitch by Vincent Ignatius – “I made out with an English girl in a bar here in the US. This is what happened right after. I wasn’t really trying to take her home. She was a bitch so I just wanted to treat her like shit.”
• Flailing Arms by The Rookie – This is a girl I passed on to the Rookie in a bar (more details). You’ll be able to see why.
• Unrelated Major
• Hostel Banter
• Real World – “This took place at K street lounge rather early in the night. I’m still talking to the girl, but she mentioned it was a weird opening.”
• Rose Tattoo – “It is about one of my conversations with the first girl seen in this video (via Naughty Nomad) when I was in Boracay in April. ”

I now turn to the peanut gallery. Who do you think should win the grand prize of A Dead Bat In Paraguay and a $20 Amazon gift certificate? If you’re a contestant, feel free to get hyphy on your video.

PREVIOUS REENACTMENTS:

• Arm Crossing Approach
• Do You Have To Stand Right Next To Me?
• Doughboy’s Super Direct Game
• Running Into A One-Night Stand

I recently had a one-night stand with a girl on her friend’s couch. The friend continued to date a buddy of mine so I saw her out regularly. At the bar one night she asked me if I really did have sex on her couch. I was hesitant to tell her. See for yourself…

Over 80% of girls I’ve fucked since coming back in May have been one-night stands. The irony of getting good at seduction is that you eliminate the seduction part and get right to sex. Then you start feeling shallow and hope for a worthy challenge, but when you get that challenge you whine about it and ache for easy sluts again. It’s a vicious cycle that tells me I definitely have a preference for sluts.

I did a Twitter survey where I posed the following question to my followers:

Here are the shocking results:

Wanting anything else may mean you have some feminist deprogramming left to do. Praying for a long-term relationship with an American woman who likely doesn’t have the upbringing—and therefore tools—to provide you with happiness in said relationship is eminently beta. You might as well buy girls white Fossil watches as gifts before you even bang.

Compared to all my previous reenactments, this one translated into the most real-life laughs. I actually became friends with the couch owner (I don’t even talk to the slut I banged due to reasons not related to her sluttiness).

Reenactment Contest Update:

Just a reminder that you have until Wednesday at noon to submit your reenactment video to roosh@rooshv.com. I’m upping the ante on the grand prize: the winner will now get a paperback copy of A Dead Bat In Paraguay and a $20 Amazon gift certificate. I’m now allowing two submissions per person, which could double your chances of winning (or losing). See the original contest post for more details.

Out of all the submissions I’ve received so far, the biggest flaw is that they’re way too short. If you’re not hitting a minute in length, you’re not producing an engaging situation that will get a lot of laughs. If you create something on par with my videos, you’ll have a solid shot at winning.

Reenact an amusing or awkward conversation using the site Xtranormal.com and win a glorious prize! Once you’ve created the video, email the link to roosh@rooshv.com with the word “Contest” somewhere in the subject line (it’s not necessary to port it to YouTube). The winner will be chosen by the peanut gallery.

Rules:

1. Video must be shorter than 3 minutes and 30 seconds. I want to see impact, not boring drivel.
2. It must be based on a real life situation. I have an advanced bullshit detector so don’t try to trick me.
3. It must be received by noon Wednesday, September 15th.

Helpful Hints:

1. Use the basic characters of each environment so you don’t have to pay anything.
2. Use pause insertions to create a realistic dialogue.
3. Click the Magic Camera button so you don’t have to manually set the camera for each verbal exchange.
4. If you don’t have any ideas, go out with a couple ballsy openers and see which bar you get kicked out of where it takes you. Write down the dialogue afterwards (or punch it in your phone) so you don’t forget the good parts.

I will judge videos based on humor, social awareness, humor, likelihood of authenticity, and humor. It’s okay to be rejected in your video, as that will score high on the humor and authenticity scales. The site also allows foreign languages, so if you want to do an international reenactment in Spanish or Portuguese, I will be happy to review it. In fact, if I get enough foreign reenactments, I’ll create a runner-up prize.

The winner will receive… hold on to your seat… a paperback copy of my book A Dead In Paraguay!!!

I’ll narrow the entries down to a handful and then open the floor for viewer feedback. Your video should be a Roosh-pleaser first, and then a crowd-pleaser second.

Let’s go over two well-done reenactments. The first is from Roissy.

This video is very realistic, since Roissy wears blazers in real life (if I’m not mistaken he also has a t-shirt with a fish on it). The masculine woman depicted in the video is how the average D.C. lawyer acts. I felt like I was watching real life.

Our next video is from forum member klasik, who recently asked if he should raw dog his MILF girlfriend. He’s in the hat…

I don’t think I’ve heard the term “chubby chaser” before, but I like it.

If you’re an anti-social creep who doesn’t interact with human beings, I’ll accept a soliloquy (I actually spelled that correctly on my first attempt). The following video is titled “Black men do well almost anywhere.” It’s adapted from a recent blog comment.

I leave you with one final tip: the best videos involve some degree of pain or awkwardness. If you have any questions, post it in the comments so everyone can see the answer. Good luck.

PREVIOUS REENACTMENTS:

• Arm Crossing Approach
• Do You Have To Stand Right Next To Me?
• Doughboy’s Super Direct Game

The first half of this week’s reenactment is depressing. Here’s an insecure girl whose body I ravished, spilling her guts out to a man who only cares about himself. I tried to be extra nice so she wouldn’t feel completely worthless.

After the initial pity party, I realized that she was looking much cuter than I remembered. Her hair was did and the outfit she wore highlighted her Latin curves. My crotch began to throb. I decided that I wanted to fuck her again, and you’ll see how I tried to weasel my way back into the mix towards the end of the video.

I’m disappointed my Zack Morris “time out” technique failed because with a little bit more time I could have given better responses to this rather uncommon situation. No matter because shortly after the confrontation I met a petite Ethiopian girl with a gloriously thick accent. I lost interest in the one-night stand chick yet again. Welcome to life.

UPDATE: Videos are now viewable

Recently I was walking to a bus stop while trailing behind two people, a thickish black woman dressed seductively and a doughy white man in painters work clothes. His appearance was especially average: it wouldn’t hurt him to lose 15 pounds and shave off his blonde goatee. I was able to make out an exciting 15-second portion of their conversation, which I’ve reenacted for you. Note the facial expressions towards the end.

He got her number. What surprised me the most was that this this blue-collared white man possessed a large set of balls. If he was a wigger it’d make more sense, but this was average Joe Schmo spitting game like a champ, and it didn’t matter that at least four other people could hear him. He had no shame in his game.

I had a conversation with my sister about it, which I have also reenacted with teddy bears.

In the end I do think his game is a bit superfluous and would only have the desired effect on a specific subset of girls that most of us don’t interact with. I mean do you see this going well with “professional” or hipster white girls? A girl who isn’t used to being hit with direct game simply won’t know how to respond to you. You’ll get something like, “Uhhhhhhh… sorry I’m actually the masculinized form of what you think to be a woman, but if you make a sarcastic or snarky comment instead, I’ll be able to respond to you and we can play the dance where we both pretend that we’re not sexually interested in each other even though we’ll end up doing it tonight on my Ikea bed.”

One type of girl I could really see this working on is Brazilian girls, who get bombarded with direct game on a regular basis. I can easily imagine myself doing Doughboy’s routine and getting a very positive response since those girls clearly prefer boyfriends to one-night stands. I could kill her objections about whether I am serious or not before she brings up her whole “so how long are you here/what are you doing here” spiel that stalls my progress most of the time. Combined with exaggerating how long I’m staying in her city, my success rate would probably go up quite a bit to where I wouldn’t have to approach nearly as many girls.

The take-home from this is always keep your eyes open for naturals in the wild. In fact, I’d estimate that around half of my game is a mashup from other men. Thanks Doughboy, for adding one more tool to my toolbox.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now