One reason I’m not currently in America is because I don’t like the women. Since their appearance and personality give me softies, I’ve been proactive about going to other countries where the women still act like women. I’ll be the first to bitch and complain about a problem, but I will do things that remove myself from what I think is making me unhappy. If American women suck, just get up and leave. Easy, right?
The problem is that American culture is being exported at such a rapid pace that it’s following me like a shadow. I’m watching in horror as Brazil gets swallowed up by American values, the populace getting ever fatter. In Krakow I was shocked at how much bigger the girls were compared to other Polish cities, the only difference being that there was a McDonald’s or KFC on every block. I now understand that I can’t run away from this problem. It must be destroyed at the source.
If I was a god, and could change only one thing about women that would make most men happier, I would wave my magic wand and shave a billion pounds off the female populace. While taming her masculinity is high up the list, only if she’s thin will you experience boners that have 80% power or more. You’ll be able to gather up enough effort to get a lay out of her, a little morsel of happiness. But if she’s fat and unsightly, it really doesn’t matter how cool she is. What must be annihilated before anything else is the culture of obesity, the biggest threat to a modern man’s happiness.
I’m happy to announce that I’ve declared jihad on fat American women. Under my Muslim name Muhammad V, I’ve started a group blog called Fat Girl Jihad to solve this grotesque problem. Other “Muslims” have joined me on this jihad, including a Muslim-Irish American.
My goal with the site is to make it more acceptable to shame, bully, and humiliate fat women into thinness. All other solutions have failed, so it’s up to us to make fat women too ashamed to leave the house with all their extra blubber and folds. Let them self-segregate into their fattie clubs and their Plenty Of Fat dating sites. Let them go to Walmart and buy paint bucket containers of ice cream. And then let them go home and eat that ice cream, alone. This jihad will not end until public spaces are filled with thin women whose egos are normal thanks to not being surrounded by fatties all the time. We cannot stop until the country is filled with women who we can lift with our own musculature.
I know you’re thinking that it’s futile, that we can’t stop the tsunami of American-style capitalism and accompanying morbid obesity, but even if that’s true I’m not going to give up without a fight. American men, with all their faults, are not like uber-beta Scandinavian men who are still waving the white flag as feminists take over and fuck their countries in the ass with rubber dildos. American women may very well get their cake in the end, but it is our duty to make it as unpleasant for them to eat it as we possibly can. “Are you sure you should be eating that?”
If we can make America a better place for men, then I believe we’ll make the world a better place, no matter where we choose to go. Hopefully in short time it will be completely acceptable to make fun of fat women, not just on the internet but face-to-face as well. Together we can change the women, one pound at a time.
Full credit goes to forum member Raliv for coming up with the name to Fat Girl Jihad. If you want to contribute to this jihad, contact me.