I don’t do social circle game in the States. The energy it takes to maintain one outweighs the cost of cold approaching. I’ll go to parties but I won’t keeping hanging out with someone just to cultivate a friendship in the hopes that I’ll get introduced to a reasonable-looking girl. My friends must have constant value, not future potential. Another reason I don’t care for social circle game is that a large percentage of girls in the United States are ugly, so the average circle will not provide me with the quality that I desire.
In other countries though, where getting prospects from cold approaching is more difficult, and girls are more beautiful on average, maintaining a social circle may be worth it. I would say that’s the case for countries like Argentina, Colombia, Spain, and Italy. Brazil… maybe.
Social circles fulfill an important human need for drama and gossiping. Very few secrets are kept. Everyone in the circle gets dissected and, oftentimes, shredded. What one person in the circle sees is what everyone sees. We use this to our advantage.
If your social circle is mixed with guys and girls, as it should be, follow this important rule: cultivate a rock star image. Do that in two ways:
1. Conceal the less desirable girls you are fucking.
2. Share stories that paint you as a cultured man of the world who sleeps with beautiful women, even if that’s not quite the case.
The first point is important. Believe it or not, who I fuck in D.C. makes it’s rounds. It’s also happened where girls I’ve dated have been socially connected to girls I’ve violated in the past. None of this has caused me any harm for one reason: I date cute girls. The more they talk about me and who I’ve been with, the more they remind themselves that I have high standards and the ability to get quality women.
Girls want men who get with pretty girls. The worst thing you can do is be known for dumpster diving. One or two drunken transgressions are okay, but if everyone knows you always go after ugly girls, you’ll be blacklisted from social circle sex. Girls don’t mind fucking guys who’ve been with a million girls, but not if all those girls are far less attractive than she is.
The second point is useful for new friendships abroad. Tell your new friends interesting stories of international girls you’ve dated. Don’t speak negatively of those girls, and be sure to stress their beauty or otherwise special qualities. For example, I like telling the story of the Colombian girl who made me meet her mother on a mountain for our second date, which set up the bang for the date after. The beta males of the group will then broadcast these stories to other girls, thinking it portrays me as a male slut (a quality they believe girls hate), but of course it has the opposite effect. Those girls will be much more receptive when I see them out again.
I would never tell these new friends that I have to approach X number of girls to get laid. Instead, I stress how “lucky” I am that I keep running into girls who like hairy men. It’s eerie, really. There is no magic or romance in highlighting a skill that came from hundreds of hours of hard work. Appear the natural instead. (You’ve probably noticed how this manipulation ventures into the territory of Robert Greene’s 48 Laws Of Power.)
New social circles don’t know your past. They don’t know you used to be a loser who couldn’t get laid, and whose only skill was the ability to conduct marathon raids on World Of Warcraft. While you can’t shape your image with people you already know, you can in these new friendships. Make yourself an all-around interesting guy who gets love from women, while being modest at the same time, and wait until you get introduced to a girl who seems to have a little twinkle in her eye with a smile that is more than you would expect. That’s because she’s heard about you.Tweet Follow @rooshv
Related Posts You May Like:
Game Tips Newsletter:
Girls don’t mind fucking guys who’ve been with a million girls, but not if all those girls are far less attractive than she is.
Do you think girls use their real attractiveness or perceived attractiveness when making this judgement? Girls consistently overrate themselves compared to other girls, so I wonder if girl A considers it dumpster diving that I banged girl B who is just as cute. Girl A undoubtedly thinks she’s cuter than B.
Vincent Ignatius’s last blog post: Girl Notches and Rationalizations.
I’ll agree to this.
When I first learnt Game, I jumped the gun and used it on my social group. As you can imagine, I totally blew myself out with them.
Cue first year of uni. Two notches, both with acceptable cute girls. Could have done better, but my course has high quality girls with high quality guys (who a)have age and muscle bulk advantages and b)are naturals).
I return to my hometown for the holidays. My group hears of my exploits (who leaked, I’m not sure, probably me when drunk) The girls are now outrageously flirtatious with me.
But what if you’re kind of a rock star and currently dating 4 or 5 cute girls at the same time… oh wait, nevermind
good post, it’s not bad to have a few female friends you wouldn’t even sleep with, and show them that you’re dating some cute girls. it’s much better if they actually see one than just hear stories you tell them.
girls gossip more than guys do. Moreover, they usually have some nice friends. Such an obvious fact, but it makes everything so much easier.
Recently I showed myself off with one of the cutest girls I ever dated in the “social circle”. They didn’t know how stupid and easy she was. She left back to her home country after a few weeks, but the good impression will last much longer.
The problem I find with social circles in western countries(don’t know about other countries) is once you get involved with a group of people, you can never completely distance yourself or your perceived persona from them. I run into people I haven’t talked to in five years and because they haven’t really changed much, they assume I haven’t either. Girls I once casually banged who assume there needs to be awkwardness, when I really couldn’t care less and moved on long ago.
It probably doesn’t matter much when you’re in a massive metro area like NYC or LA, but in my city of less than 2 million, I find it more beneficial to avoid socialite types. Keep a solid core of a few close wingmen who have known you long and well, and just go for the cold approaches rather than casually floating amongst different social circles. I’d even go as far as saying if a chick and I have a mutual/friend aquaintance, I wouldn’t even be interested in banging her unless she’s really hot. Casual sex inevitably leads to awkwardness, so keeping my sexual flings and platonic friends strictly separate has seemed to be a good policy.
really good points. Social Circles are their own special breed of attention and need to be treated differently.
The hardest part of this is to find a good bit of humility and subtlety when talking about yourself, and when a person comes from a socially awkward background – its tough. Check out this awesome example:
Yeah, the guy obviously has no idea about humility or subtlety
kidstrangelove’s last blog post: So you froze up and didn’t approach the girl, now what?.
Good post, Roosh.
I found social circle game was especially important in college. Not being in the right social circle meant that you didn’t get invited to the good house/apartment/frat parties where drunk college hotties are totally DTF (down to fuck).
But I also agree with you, especially now that I am no longer in college, that cold approaches is where it is at, at least for the USA.
Unless you can get into a really hip/cool social circle, I find it is not really worth it to try and run social circle game since it doesn’t give you much more access to cute or hot chicks than cold approaching does.
Social circles are their own reward, in the sense that you get to hang out with people you like and that is a good use of time in our short lives. I would advise against expanding or joining a social circle just to gain access to women. It will just seem like work, then.
It is true that, in big cities, new people will venture into your circles and some of these will be very attractive women. With a minimum of game, you will be very successful with these girls (most hot women met their boyfriends in social circle fashion — just ask them. Very hot women, other than golddiggers and attention whores, rarely venture outside their social circle for men unless there is a major lack within them). Yet this should not be your reason for being in a social circle, for practical considerations — your vibe will be off.
Also, guys comfortably ensconsed in quality social circles will kill loner types when it comes time to cold approach. The social circle guys will have a better vibe, be more comfortable in general, and have a lifestyle (friends, events, etc.) that women will naturally be attracted to. This is not to say the loner types will not have lots of success compared to the average guy, but they will work much harder and endure more rejection and wasted effort for lower quality.
“Social circles are their own reward, in the sense that you get to hang out with people you like and that is a good use of time in our short lives. I would advise against expanding or joining a social circle just to gain access to women. It will just seem like work, then.”
I don’t think Roosh meant that you shouldn’t have a social circle.
He just meant that running “social circle game” is not really worth it in the USA because very few social circles offer above-average access to quality poon.
It is always good to have friends you hang out with.
It is even better if these same friends are willing to run game with you (e.g. wingmen).
One of the problems with learning and applying game is that your friends can help you or hurt you.
If you friends are haters of game (for whatever reason), then going out with them is a chore since they will hold you back and make you feel stupid for doing lots of approaches.
DEFINITELY conceal the uggos from her. The first girl I ever banged was the queen of a scene. She was a 6. Years later, I was flirting with a girl, she was into me, mostly for my looks. I mentioned I had briefly dated someone she knew. She kept asking, until I finally disclosed it (shit test failed…). Girl immediately says “Her? She is NOT cute” and ends the conversation. A liberal hipster chick, didn’t fucking matter.
Do not go below a 7 if you may be linked to her later.
don’t go below a 7 I agree to that…if you are desperate then just get a 10 escort. yeh you pay but she’s a 10 and it can boost your confidence!
FYI escorts who are in high demands (read extremely attractive) rarely go for creepy guys or loser, which is why they charge a lot and can refuse you if they are not attracted to you.
btw, women dont always overrate their looks, they know if a women is better looking or not…unless some stupid guys have been inflating her egos for a while. Women judge a man a lot by the looks of his gf.
this shit WORKS
a while back i met 2 new girls through a friend.
it happened to be the day after a party in which i got a bj in a storage room.
he told them this, and that this was not unusual for me.
days later i get a random email from one of THEIR friends who said that she heard about me from them and wanted to get to know me
went to meet her, banged hours later
The toughest part I’ve experienced when breaking into new social circles is the decision on how long to hold out before you start banging chicks. You jump the gun too soon and go for the low hanging fruit, things can get complicated when you meet the hottie of the clique later. Of course the strategy is to hold out because sleeping with the hottest one won’t hurt you with the uglier ones. The problem is that this can become like self imposed celibacy, and who wants that?
“Of course the strategy is to hold out because sleeping with the hottest one won’t hurt you with the uglier ones. The problem is that this can become like self imposed celibacy, and who wants that?”
You can keep a few social circles at one time. Let’s say you’re in college. You have one group of friends from your course, second one from a different course, one from some kind of college society (like dancing I don’t know) etc…
You can still keep up with all of them, and while you enter a new group of people you can still bang the girls you met before. sounds pretty obvious.
[...] Roosh – “Men Who Choose Homosexuality Over American Women“, “The Easiest Way to Get Social Circle Sex” [...]
“There is no magic or romance in highlighting a skill that came from hundreds of hours of hard work.”
Old school Game indeed: