Everyone Is Hoping That You’ll Fail

Beta males are hoping. White knights are hoping. Feminists are hoping. Believe it or not, some of your friends and family members are hoping. They want you to fail because your success is their failure. It reminds them of their laziness, their poor work ethic. I’m sorry to tell you that they all want you to fail. Their subtle jabs and withholding of encouragement are aimed to keep you in an inferior station. No one wants to see someone rise at faster speed than themselves.

There is no point in telling other people your goals. They will talk you out of it or give you bad advice. There is no point trying to convince others of your world view. They will plant seeds of doubts that prevent you from action and seeing the truth. The minute you go just slightly higher than you have been, they will try to sabotage you. They are the worrymongers, fearmongers, scaremongers, shamemongers, guilt-trippers, trolls, and haters. Ignore them. Feeding them brings you down to their level, which is exactly what they want.

You’re completely on your own. You don’t need help from anyone. If you can’t reach your goals without the validation and support of other human beings, the bulk of whom I promise are against you, then you don’t deserve to succeed.

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  • madmax

    they not only hope, last thuesday i had an white knight attacking me (trying to choke me) and telling me not to touch other women the way i did, even though the girls obviously liked it..

  • Bertman

    jealousy motivated by feelings of insecurity and inferiority is extremely common. I agree that it’s best sometimes to just fly under the radar and keep your goals and achievements to yourself. it would be more pleasant if you didn’t have to do this, but unfortunately we live in a world of spineless conformists.

  • Brandon

    Agreed.

  • Jim

    Yup. Even family can be resentful. At 40, I’m taking a much needed break from work that I’ve been hard at for over 20 years. That everything is paid off and I’m living in relative comfort compared to some of my own kin who had MORE opportunities yet not enough DISCIPLINE to control their habits and lives is not my fault. Yet the jealousy and envy is there. Say, is it my fault that one knocked up a woman at 18 and his out of control gambling habits ensured he’ll work until the day he dies and another with his drug habits kept him from growing up? No, but they hate because that’s all they can do. Misery loves company. Fuck ‘em.

  • Yams

    “There is no point in telling other people your goals”

    The truth

  • Alex

    I agree for the most part, except about not sharing your world views because others will plant seeds of doubt. If your worldview isn’t strong enough to destroy these seeds then it doesn’t deserve to live. For example the strength of my atheist worldview is so strong because I actively look at religious arguments.

    I like the rest of the article, even though it’s a bit harsh. The longer I’m in college the more I see hints of resentment from other students.

  • David

    So true Roosh! Many times I’ve had to abandon friends because they refused to see that I wanted to change and DID change. They saw me in a certain light and only keep holding me back from “evolving”.

  • http://www.platinum-etf.net Theophilus

    Not only is there no point in disclosing your goals to others, it also saps the energy from those goals.
    It’s a weird phenomenon, but I’ve seen it many times. The more you tell others about a goal, the less likely you are to reach it. It loses its power, somehow.
    But beware of the guy who’s always busy with something, buy never talks about it – he’s on his way somewhere.

  • Anonymous

    “Their subtle jabs and withholding of encouragement are aimed to keep you in an inferior station.”

    Ding!

    This is what my parents and sisters do. From developing a business to dressing better to traveling, I get very little support.

  • Roosh

    8: Yup… http://sivers.org/zipit

    9: My mother wanted me to fail in my travel adventures after quitting my corporate gig. It took her about 4 years to accept the change.

  • http://www.dawnofchange.com Onder

    This is very true. I started a new blog a few weeks ago and expected my friends to support me on it after i hinted that a surprise was coming. At first, everyone was wondering what it was and sending me loads of status message updates.

    The minute i announced the blog (Which i won’t say on here in case i get labelled a troll) and they saw what it was, that it was my plan B. I got hardly no praise from anyone. I also got hateful and shameful comments from anonymous people after checking my wordpress messages.

    It’s a real shame, but Roosh makes a very good point. No one really wants to see you successful because it will directly attack and challenge their beliefs. No one wants to see their beliefs tarnished by some wise ass who is confident enough to rise above the norm.

    I say to hell with it all. We only live once and time is limited. Might as well make the most of it.

  • Yams

    Sounds like my mom.

  • Joe

    ‘Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.’

    - Gore Vidal

  • Levon

    I generally find weak men will always try and undermine anything your doing in life.

  • Odds

    Good words of wisdom, Roosh.

    Lately I have been saying less about my goals but getting more done. Everyone has to live their own lives. I know for a fact that nobody supports my goals to travel the world and obtain flags, but it’s what I want to do. But talking about it isn’t going to make it easier, it is only going to make people resent me. Best to blend in and be formless around other people, to say what they want to hear while working toward your own ends.

  • http://kingpajamacat.com dave

    Thank you very much for taking the time to write this post, Roosh. Very encouraging. It’s a sad world we live in, but it’s the truth.

  • Eric

    also worth mentioning is the power of sexual transmutation for achieving your goals. for those who don’t already know, see chapter 11 of ‘think and grow rich’ here: http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr16.htm

  • Sine Wave Killer

    On point and well said Roosh. I’ve always found that my mother was the most critical person of the dreams I had. I learned to ignore her, i’ve also found that fat women are the biggest haters as well.

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    The only question to ask is, “Is this right for me?”

    And the only person to answer that is yourself.

    - MPM

  • Phinn

    This post strikes a deep chord in me, Roosh.

    Last year, I was a classic AFC. I was the poster boy for what Dr. Glover calls Nice Guy Syndrome.

    As a result, I was going down an all-too familiar road with my wife of 10+ years.

    My degenerating marriage began with my (unreasonable) expectation that my wife support me in a career change. I never got it.

    I had supported her career change, and her new creative career with everything I could offer, and it worked. But once she was over the wall, she never reached back to pull me up.

    My resentment grew from there. I blamed her for not helping me. For the nay-saying. For the times I’d tell her about a new idea I had or some new, exciting thing I wanted to do, and her response was a long silence or a change of subject.

    Instead of just doing it for myself, I was supplicating more and more, qualifying myself to her, wanting her approval and support more and more, and getting less and less.

    My resentment grew. I withdrew emotionally. I became sedentary, fat, self-absorbed and depressed. Sex dwindled to near zero.

    She met a happy-go-lucky, sporty guy, in his 40s, no kids, never married, who spoke a couple of languages and traveled the world all the time. He had all kinds of money and time and a positive, fun attitude, largely because he never married and had kids. He’d sacrificed nothing for anyone. He lived for himself.

    My wife was seeing him for coffee, meeting up with him in groups at bars, and 3 months later was one phone call away from dumping me and fucking him.

    Thanks to Game, I figured out how to deal with the situation. I manned-up, cockblocked the shit out of him, and turned the thing around, but not after enduring an unbelievable amount of emotional pain, which I would rate as second only to the death of my first son.

    It all begins with being responsible for achieving your own goals. It all begins with knowing that YOU are 100% responsible for EVERYTHING that happens in your life, all the good things and all the bad things. You are the boss. Blame no one. Rely on no one.

    By all means, work with the right people to achieve your goals. Cooperate with other like-minded people for mutual exchange and mutual benefit.

    But accept one basic idea, deep into your consciousness, that no one is responsible for your own well-being and happiness other than you.

    Especially not a woman.

  • http://www.theredpillroom.blogspot.com Ian Ironwood

    Totally agree, Roosh. The best thing for any man to do is to make your plans and decide your goals in private, and pursue them with dedication without inviting criticism from others. It isn’t just that they sow the seeds of doubt in your mind, it’s that they will delight in your failures to an extent that is unseemly in those you consider your friends.

    Regardless of who it is, the best thing to do is to achieve your goals and then present folks with a fait acompli. I can always spot a writing poseur at a workshop or something because they don’t hesitate to regale me of their ambitious plans for novels they haven’t written yet. But the guys who actually make it in the business are the ones who keep quiet about the stuff they’re working on, and stand on the quality of the work that they have completed. Because no one will fuck you because of a book you haven’t written yet, but plenty of girls will fuck a published author.

  • dickbutt

    ass-deep in pussy, yet somehow Forever Alone

  • Anonymous

    Yes Horatio Alger. Pull yourself up by the boot-straps. The self-made man. Lies.

  • 20th Level

    I keep my crew small and tight. I dont roll with haters.

  • Mahker

    Beastly post. Continue to guide your brothers out of the wilderness.

  • http://www.constantcopywriting.com Andy Button

    This stuff has pretty much always been instinct for me.

    I’ve never really disclosed my long term plans to anyone. When pressed I often make up fake goals.

    I’ve seen people who blab about their goals. They always seem like they’re trying to convince themselves of something.

  • http://www.platinum-etf.net Theophilus

    @Andy Button: You’re an introvert, right? One of our great advantages is that we have a much lower tendency to blabber about what we’re up to – we just suddenly pop up at the finish line, and no one had any idea we were even in the race.

    I like this related quote by Micheal Caine: “Be like a duck: Remain calm on the surface, but paddle like hell underneath.”

  • storm

    Yes, and more than that still. Telling other people your goals actually makes you LESS LIKELY TO SUCCEED. See the studies in the TED talk here

    http://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself.html

  • OGNorCal707

    “Feeding them brings you down to their level, which is exactly what they want.”

    That’s why I don’t even give a fuck and take the bait when my friends give me hater vibes. It used to bother me, but now I just smirk and laugh it off in my head, if they’re trying to take “subtle jabs” at me, it’s only because they’re jealous and insecure about how I am more successful then them.

  • Sincere

    Damn, I wish I had read this a few years back when my biz was starting to pick up and I started to travel. Took me far to long to realize the jabs my family and friends were giving me weren’t because I was doing something wrong… but because I was doing something right.

  • http://www.partytravelsexlove.com Brianmark

    @28 – I had heard you should tell people your goals that way you have to act on them or look bad. I can understand not telling your goals in if they are something we’d talk about on this site.

    Roosh, I agree with you 100%, most people are just totally jealous of you. I have even had “friends” not want to hang out with me, because I’m too negative (ie. Expect something from life), or even give me bad advice, because they are jealous because of their lack of action in their own lives. There is tremendous jealousy of my romantic success, travel, and happiness in life. It’s a sad a world. Most of my friends make more money than me and are better looking, but have an excuse for everything. I always try to keep a low profile, because all I’ll ever hear is a 100 lies from my “friends”, thinking they have to one up me.

  • j

    @28

    could work the opposite way too: telling people your goals actually puts tremendous pressure on you to achieve them…or be reminded by them of your failure.

    a real fucking badass tells everyone of his coming greatness and then does it. his achievement shames all who doubted him.

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  • intajake

    spot on roosh.you were born alone and die alone,keep ppl at an arms length ,put yourself first and everything else will fall into place.

  • horace kent

    haha i can vouch that telling people your goals does take the energy out of you. I was talking to my friend the other about my plans for the next five years and after i was done talking with him for the rest of my journey i was cock of the walk acting as though i had made it. However after a little while later i got this strange feeling inside of me. I couldnt tell what it was but it felt as though i had achieved what i wanted but at the same time new that i hadnt. This took a little hunger out of me and i felt content for a short while. I have since got that hunger back and swore never to tell anyone my real plans until i had actually achieved them.

    Morale of the story-

    Spreading word of your goal is akin to receiving a small meals in the form of ‘ego shots’, enough of these small meals and you think that these will be enough to sustain you appetite until you find out they cant.

    Keeping silent is like fasting until you reach your objectives where you now have access to unlimited buffet with extra large plates.

  • Jordan

    So True!

  • Ben

    There’s 2 things:

    1. Other people can actually both be hoping that you’ll fail and that you’ll succeed at the same time.

    2. People with a vested interest in your success. A recruiter wants to see you succeed in getting a new job – because they get paid if you do. Just don’t make the mistake of thinking he has a vested interest in whether you are happy, etc, in your new job. Your mother wants you to succeed in learning to read, because otherwise she’s failed as a parent. Your friends who are couples often want you to succeed in finding a girlfriend so you can all do “couples” things.

    Even in dating – an ex-boyfriend of a female friend of mine wants me to succeed in dating anyone except his ex-girlfriend. He really does – he invites me out to singles things that I didn’t know about, talks me up, would jump out of the way for me to date a girl he was hitting it off with just so I wouldn’t be available any more when hanging out with his ex.

    My boss wants me to succeed in my job because it makes him look good. Things might be different if I was competition with him, but I’m not – my success just makes him look better, my failure makes him look worse, he wants me to succeed.

    A friend of mine who I share information on picking up women doesn’t want me to succeed with women we’re competing over, but he wants me to succeed with hot attractive women that he’s not in competition with me for, so I can provide information to him on how it worked and what I did. If my car broke down and he wasn’t doing anything that night, he’d loan me his car to go on a date – assuming it wasn’t a woman we were competing over (actually, he probably would even then, that’s the wonderful thing about friends who are successful enough that you taking a little bit away from them doesn’t really hurt them).

    When I run into an unpleasant problem that we will all have to deal with, my coworkers want me to succeed in solving it. Sometimes they’ll even do part of the work for me – because they don’t want to have to deal with it later by themselves.

    Roosh has previously written about how having guys that he’s friends with along doesn’t help, and usually just hurts him. Since his success doesn’t help them, and in fact may take away from them, it’s difficult to find people who really want you to succeed.

    If you want to find that, you need to be doing something where your success benefits other people (or your failure would at least hurt them).

  • ertas

    When everything seems to be against me I take that time to reflect and improve my inner game. After all is said and done, I still have something to fall back on while haters and cockblockers won’t.

  • http://www.AroundtheWorldin80Jobs.com around the world in 80 jobs

    @Phinn respect.

    Also notice on rely on no one. The more I have ever done so as resulted in headache and disappointment. I have noticed when I shift my focus on stop trying to convince other and not to listen to the bullshit dribble that comes of people’s mouths (esp when traveling), the better off and more focused I have become. When I try to let other knows what’s up, there is almost always a world of can’ts. I like the people who say fuck you, you can do what you want.

    I think it is the reason for the rapid growth of online communities. where people no longer feel they have to stick to their tiny core group of friends that fell on their lap in school, who more likely than not, will try to shake you from your vision.

  • Ben

    The other funny thing is, watch movies that women gush over.

    How do things go?
    1. The woman wants something
    2. She tells other people about it
    3. She struggles, and wants to quit, but other people overcome her resistance to convince her that she can be successful, and provide the critical means for her to succeed.
    4. She succeeds.

    The movie Coyote Ugly is most direct example of this I’ve ever seen. She moves herself to New York – and from then on, she works to maintain her current state, but her big jumps in success always come from men or someone in charge overcoming her resistance to convince her to suceed. Sometimes it’s her father, sometimes it’s her boyfriend, she tries to make the jump to the next level but never succeeds – until a man or someone in charge comes along, overcomes her resistance to stay where she is and convinces her to do something dramatic, and only then does she attain majorly more success.

    The “successful guy” pattern is different.
    1. The guy wants something
    2. He tells people about it
    3. They say “it will never work! it’s to hard! etc etc”
    4. He’s driven to do it anyways
    5. He’s successful, then has failure – when he’s about to fail his friends or fate step in and keep him from failing
    6. He succeeds

    The difference is that in pop culture, women need support to *start* doing someting. Men start doing something themselves, then *after* that friends and support help them succeed.

    I mean, I suppose I’m just describing alpha/beta dynamics (where the woman often wants to be in the beta role), but even in US pop culture this is usually the dynamic.

  • Shameus O’Reaaly

    Off the topic of the post, but:
    What about writing goals down?
    Setting points in time to have achieved “X” by?

    I have a tendency only to achieve anything when deadlines are looming and motivating myself with stress.
    Any ideas re: this?

  • Dude

    My mother is like this. Always trying to hold me back and make me feel guilty. Years ago I broke contact with her and went my own way, and now I’m not even 35 and could retire (to Latin or South America) or I can work another five years and retire here in the U.S. What got me was the “withhold encouragement” line. My mother would try and make me feel guilty and blame her problems on me. She would make it like she suffered that I went off to college or work away from home. But it never occurred to me she wanted me to fail. Then I read the “withhold encouragement” part. She didn’t cheer me on. She didn’t push me to be better. She tried to keep me dependent on her, like my old man and older brother, and when I fought against it, she would try to hold me back. I thought it was mother’s love or some bs at the time, but the truth was she wanted me to fail. And she wasn’t in my corner. Good post.

  • Mr. Pointyface

    To succeed is to be hated.

    Look at how people dish on Tom Cruise, who’s made some of the best movies of the last 20 years: Vanilla Sky, Collateral, Minority Report.

    Then look at what the spooges who are calling him “gay” etc, have accomplished. Nada.

    It almost seems at times that one could make one’s goal to be hated and it would be a lot more productive than wanting to be liked.
    It might separate the achievers that could be good collaborators from the snoids who’ll hold you back.

    One thing to remember is that Roosh is a travel writer– and the lifestyle he seems to want involves no long term relationships — so far.

    One could take another example such as Ingmar Bergman, who created a body of work beyond the importance of Roosh’s– and had a cinematographer he worked with for decades.

    Not everyone is a guaranteed goalblocker– in some fields, especially filmmaking and I guess especially politics, you NEED to have collaborators who really share your goals. Even Tom Cruise couldn’t make Vanilla Sky without hundreds of collaborators.

  • Anonymous

    Do they tell you stuff like, it’s ok, you had your fun, you can come home now, without realizing that for you going back to life in America represents the absolute failure of everything you’re trying to achieve? Your mentality of only relying on yourself, no safety net and constantly pushing forward is the correct one for achieving anything people think is impossible – let other people go the path of least resistance…

  • http://www.yohami.com/blog/ YOHAMI

    Truth. It feels lonely though. High and dry.

  • http://www.yohami.com/blog/ YOHAMI

    Pointyface

    “you NEED to have collaborators who really share your goals.”

    Money buys them. They dont need to share your goals, but to get something in return from the collaboration.

  • http://www.yohami.com/blog/ YOHAMI

    BTW. Everyone is expecting you to fail, except of the people who benefit from you winning. Those people NEED you to win.

    Not that they share your goals, but everyone needs an icon. Something that represents something else. In some cases that benefit is material, say, like in politics.

    And not that they can give you advice either. If they do probably it’s going to be shitty advice. Advice should be taken, only, from people who A) have achieved what you want to achieve and B) want you to succeed.

    A roadmap to success is to build a people who need you to win. A group of people who benefit from you making it. Be it because they believe, or because their share of the pie comes from yours.

    If it’s not your mom nor your sisters, dad family and friends, well too bad. Fuck it. Leave and get a new circle. Form a new tribe.

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  • Anonymous

    Excellent Articel on this: http://sivers.org/zipit
    “Shut up! Announcing your plans makes you less motivated to accomplish them.”

  • B

    Been reading Pook again?

  • Anonymous

    The most important thing I’ve learned so far in college was the day one of my professors told my class that the day that you disappoint your parents is the day you truly become yourself and that agency was the most important thing a person can possess.

    He followed it up with a sad story about a friend of his that killed himself a week before graduating from a top med school. The reason: He hadn’t made a single important decision for himself his entire life because he wasn’t able to stand up to his parents.

  • AFemaleCat

    Well said Roosh!

    This one blog post defines my 20s.

    Everyone hates me :) I lost all of my friends, there isn’t a day that goes by that my parents don’t make some nasty comment to me.

    The bad thing is, I’m still very vulnerable. If my dad says a snooty thing to me it knocks about 5 hours out of my work schedule, as I worry and feel like a loser.

    Idiots.

    But on the bright side, I’m completely self-contained emotionally now.

  • http://www.aroundtheworldin80girls.com Neil Skywalker

    You just described my family and friends.

  • Zeno Izen

    Post is true. Also worth noting, once you have succeeded, your former saboteurs and naysayers will do everything in their power to rob you of what you have earned.

  • Grit

    Whats the mentality on nights u dont pull? Go home and jerkit? Theres a sunrise on the other side of this inky blackness?

  • michelin

    I often struggle to shut up to not reveal every plan I have to my best friend. At one time it almost prived me from taking an important step in my life. I cannot blame him though. It all comes down to shutting up and do what you want.

  • @Dude

    @Dude
    If your mother “wanted you to fail”, it is not done intentionnally, so you are the one to be blamed. Overally family members have only good intentions, so it is up to you to ignore their help, etc.

  • http://m4r3.org m4r3

    I think if people are happy in their lives they will be more able to supporting and showing gladness at one’s accomplishments.

    Especially mothers, sisters, girlfriends, wives. I am thinking if they feel more cared for, they are also feeling more joy and sympathy for their men when they have goals to achieve.

    And still, no- one shouldn’t tell everything or all one’s plans, they don’t need to know and the more you are telling about it, the more it feels like it is already happening, and you aren’t working as hard to achieve it.

    I write about how I think women can be happier if men are taking more care of them. I think it would also be making them more supportive of our goals. If you like, read my article on scribd:
    http://www.scribd.com/m4r3org/d/90861235-The-Mystery-that-is-Woman

  • Sine Wave Killer

    @58 you gotta be fucking kidding me right?

  • Anonymous

    @Dude: If your mother “wanted you to fail”, it is not done intentionnally, so you are the one to be blamed. Overally family members have only good intentions, so it is up to you to ignore their help, etc.

    I’m not a fan of people who blame their problems on their parents until their dying day and use their parents as an excuse to never get off their ass to improve themselves, but people like you who go opposite extreme and try to say nothing is the parents fault because they had good intentions I actually hate.

    @Dude: congratulations on breaking away and becoming successful.

  • rozayINTL

    Roosh. You are the fucking man.

    I came to realize something similar to the content of this post over the course of the past year, and I have never been more free. The great thing about this is that it articulated my general thoughts to a different level. Great writing.

    If I had read this post a few years earlier, it would have got me thinking and started the process much sooner.

  • Anonymous

    struggle for life

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  • http://two.cedonulli.com Jake

    Fu** everybody. Oh, wait. :D Also that was quite the emo-roosh insight.

  • Meyer

    @9, 42, 52, 53: Thanks to all of you for making me realize I’m not the only one with these problems. Ignore the trolls @57 and 58.

  • Meyer

    @8, 10, 21: Some of the greatest breakthroughs in mathematics in recent times were achieved by individuals working in complete secrecy for many years. Grigory Perelman worked alone, in a hut in Siberia, for eight years in order to solve Poincaré’s conjecture. Ditto Andrew Wiles (in Princeton) and Fermat’s Last Theorem.

  • Fireworks56

    Probably one of the best internal game posts I have ever read. It’s lonely at the top.

    I openly wish and desire to meet people that I could envy.

  • Noah the Aussie

    Not true! I am hoping you succeed Roosh!

  • k.

    Great Post Roosh. Being a man is lonely business.

    Fuck the haters….

  • jay

    Absolute truth

  • Supertramp

    I was just writing about this to myself. People tend to want support from their family and friends to know they have your back. But they are not you.

    When you look to them for justification …unfortunately you already lost. They can’t help you. They don’t believe your dreams like you do. They are friends and family but not you.

    To look to them and you lose. To look to yourself you win. It’s a lonely game. The only thing you can really do is lead them. Show them by example.

    This is a truth you have learned early. I hope others realize this.

    I have this all the time with family. I was surprised when I told a good friend about a problem I had in my business. He said he would start something else.

    It’s a lonely road to be successful as to be successful is to do things others don’t understand and don’t support you.

    You have to rely on the person inside that wants what is best.

  • Ben

    “spot on roosh.you were born alone and die alone”

    Couldn’t have put it better.

    There’s the MGTOW spirit there.

  • Jack

    LIKE

  • MeWantHoneyComb

    This is especially true for those who have to deal with people from the following:

    -Dying cities/regions (St Louis, Cleveland, the Deep Rural South, etc)
    -Cutthroat cities that are filled with feminists and beta males (SF, DC, etc)
    -Working class families and neighborhoods
    -The black community (most blacks can’t stand seeing their own succeed)
    -Older people who have been working at the same job/position for years
    -People you grew up around in general, given that you weren’t one of the “popular kids”

  • DiamondEyes

    Much truth in this post.

    I’ve come to realize that you can measure a man’s quality by how he reacts to success in others.

    If a guy can genuinely be happy for your wins, and support your lofty goals, he’s a true friend and has a winner mindset. You want to cultivate an inner circle of guys like this.

    You want to completely eliminate people from your life whom you feel would not genuinely celebrate your triumphs with you. They are losers who want to make you more like them. Don’t bother hanging around to impress these people with your awesomeness – they’ll more likely hate you than be impressed.

    Forget about looking to women for this kind of support. Your increased success only increases the threat to their control over the relationship. Your greater options equals their lesser security. They will subconsciously sabotage your efforts at becoming a better man unless they are certain you are with them for life.

  • dn

    Yep.

  • Days of Broken Arrows

    This is not only true for future plans. It’s true in reverse.

    If you know a group of people and move on to do something better and achieve it, don’t expect that original group of people to be impressed. Instead, they’ll give you sh*t. I found this out the hard way with a woman I used to work with who was always flirtatious. After I moved onward and upward and got back in touch, she wanted nothing to do with me. Live and learn.

  • Anonymous

    There is another aspect of this that is worth consideration: it depends on WHO you tell about your goals.

    In general, we are better off discussing things with others that share an interest. If you like talking about travel but I hate travel, the conversation is going to be boring for both of us.

    If you have a goal of becoming great with women and you tell 10 beta males or women, you will likely get negative reactions. But if you tell 10 PUA’s your dream, you will likely get great reaactions.

    If Roosh walks into a bar and tell 20 random dudes that he wants to bang a chick from every European country, he will generally get bad reactions. But posting the exact same thing on this blog will get mostly good reactions.

  • http://alightreading.wordpress.com alightreading

    I always had an inkling that it was me against the world. Thanks Roosh now I know I’m not the only one who has had that suspicion.

  • Knockers

    You nailed it!! I am going through this right now.

  • http://thelastneanderthal@wordpress.com money, muscle, and math

    I think many people want to see others be less successful than them, but will hope for your success if it helps them in some way.

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  • Birdman

    I agree with Roosh’s post to a certain extent. I think the people who are jealous of your success are the insecure, weak-minded, unsuccessful people.

    However, for the most part, I think it’s good to wear your passion on your leave…without giving a damn what those jealous, insecure people think. Because the more passion and success you show, the more jealous and hateful they will become. But what will bother those people the most is the fact that you’re not phased by them. If you close up, and keep to yourself about your passion, in a way…those assholes win. But if you confidently voice your passions and world views…they’ll end up shutting up when they realize there’s no stopping you.

    And more so, the people out there that are encouraging of your success will actually help and support you. The more you let your passion and wants known, the more this world will conspire to propel you. I’ve seen this happen in my own life with my comedy career, and close friends that I have helped and encouraged.

    But anyway, those are just my world views. ;)

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  • Anonymous

    Yeah, sure, everyone’s out to get you. Whatever. You need to go see a shrink.

  • Graeculo

    Hell, this is your best post up to date. A cluster bomb of hard truths in just 2.5 paragraphs.

    If you’re lucky enough to have had the enlightening experience of being abandoned by your first friends at an early age, for reasons that you’ve already forgotten or you could never grasp, then it’s easy to embed in your brain that the people you consider friends might not always cater to your own good.
    People associate with each other for their own, very selfish reasons: Proximity, common interests, or even just because they have no other option unless they want to end up completely insane locked up in an asylum or dying alone in front of their TV.
    You know what it’s like; you know that everyone’s got ulterior motives; you know not to take anyone too seriously; you know who’s good to hang out with and who’s good to do business with; you know when to walk away with no regrets; you know that a “historical friendship” just for the sake of it is a folly; you know who you can trust, and for how long.

    But finding out that your own immediate family is undermining you? That they seemingly inexplicably bash you with no remorse when you even slightly deviate from their vision of you? That you have to fight your way through to change yourself for the better, just like you do with the rest? What do you make of it then?
    You realise that the parental or brotherly love and affection, if they do exist, are not given gratis. Instead, they can be the worst form of mental bondage that will hold you grounded into a miserable life (or a happy peon’s life, if you never peek out the window).

    Fuck them all. Even your own kin, if need be. Go as far as you can go, until your body fails you.

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  • http://quintuscurtius.com/ Quintus Curtius

    Devastatingly true. I’m glad I read this today. Inspire me, brother.

  • Tom

    100% true. I came to this conscious conclusion and spoke openly about it as advice to another guy some time ago, but it’s been deep in my heart since I was at least 16. KNOWINGLY.

    This can be easily witnessed in EVERY SINGLE FACET of society. In the stock market….. I invested in Apple in 1999 and EVERY SINGLE PERSON was telling me to sell — for YEARS. (Not to mention the shorts in the market who use fear tactics to get you to see too!!) Using words like “crazy”.. “stupid”…. “dangerous”…. endless shaming and fear tactics to scare you into selling your position. This is not just a metaphor.

    I cannot stress enough what kind of BRASS BALLS OF STEEL are required to reject this shit, and MARCH ON.

    Listening to female advice has the same toxic & harmful effect. It’s underlying goal (as if totally planned and intentional!!) is to harm you, stop you, hold you back, and MAKE SURE you will NOT succeed.

    It’s totally unbelievable. Then there’s your own FAMILY who I know have a sick, and deep-seated desire to watch me fail. Ex girlfriends who you dump because you know in your heart that doing so will better your life — would love to watch you plummet. This is also apparent when they get married and expect YOU to celebrate their life choices…. but when you bust out and move to another country, start your own company, sell Apple at $500+ a share instead of $50 inside it eats away at them. These same people (even your FAMILY) who expect you to celebrate their limiting life choices will NEVER celebrate yours.

    “Everyone Is Hoping That You’ll Fail” is a universal & absolute truth.

    This is a MILLION DOLLAR article and your VERY best post.

    Well done Roosh. March on.

  • “Little Bits”

    The reason I
    found your post, I had placed in Goggle search, why people want you to
    fail? Thank goodness I found it. The
    past thirty years I have struggled with this same problem, particularly with
    family and friends. This devastating human frailty has been practiced since the
    beginning of time. What is so sad are the people who sabotage you, they will
    try to make it sound like they are helping you.

    Many years
    ago, I heard a motivational speaker say something on TV as I passed by, I came
    to an immediate stop. He was on the Oprah show; they were having this same discussion.
    His quote was “Mediocrity hates
    Excellence”. One of my Sisters which succeeded in ruining her life was
    sitting there; she has caused me so much pain and she had been listening to
    this program. I stopped and said out loud there it is, the words and reason I
    have been trying to find. The look on her face was without a doubt, (Oh God she
    has figured it out). I have learned if you tell them anything, it will be used
    against you, it may take a while. You have to understand they are working hard
    and making lists on how to see you fail. See it is “You are no better and will
    fail too”. It is a road you travel, which they would like to help you get lost
    on. I personally have had them help my Ex to embezzle funds from our Company,
    not tell me when my mother was dying or include me in the funeral affairs, also
    falsify the Deed and Will at the Clerk
    of Courts. I am rebuilding my life and have found bad friends will call you to
    see if you are still battle torn. They do not care!

    See at sixty
    I went back to College and starting over. He was an Alcoholic got cancer (he is
    still alive) I helped him through it. His response after 38 years was, I do not
    know how long I have left, and I am going to do what I want. I am not telling
    you this to spill my information. I am telling you this to say, they silently
    wait for the opportunity, to strike. I went through the Cancer, loss of
    marriage, betrayal, Mother dying, thirty years of a company I worked my ___ off
    to build and numerous other things. Not
    once did they help me, in fact they deliberately ostracized me.

    Keep your
    information to yourself, do not help them build their War Strategy, Trust Me
    That is what they are doing! I remember a Doctor telling me, you need the
    support of your family, I answered, “I am in Trouble” After many conversations,
    he understood what I said in the beginning. They have the Wolf Pack Mentality. You know if one gets lamb, they all
    jump on it! See what better time to overtake a strong adversary, then when they
    are down! Never Never Forget This!!!!
    Never under estimate the level of greed, jealousy, deceit and the cruelty of
    another Human!

    I will leave
    you with something I have learned and also have said to a few of the Monsters.

    When they
    are jealous, that tells you how successful you are, otherwise it would not
    bother them. Try it, not directly, just say you know I’ve learned jealousy,
    usually says a person is doing something right. They hate it!

    There are
    good people out there, be careful! They will not be like ticks, sucking the
    blood off another person. Run from the lazy people and gossip mongers!

    “Little Bits”

  • JoJOe

    Silen

  • brown

    i regret that i have but one plus 1 to give

  • Guest

    How true. Human nature is so flawed. I think it’s because we are so insecure and discontent with ourselves so feel threatened by other people who do better than us. But funnily I sometimes play a ‘loser’ card and purposely give other people pleasure to see me as a failure and hope I will achieve something on their back. Then I will humbly say ‘I am just a lucky fool’. If I don’t achieve anything that’s find, I am still a sad loser anyway. :-) I am weird!

  • Ddouble

    Blacks are the worst for hating each other

  • James

    I hear alot of people asking why is there a “women’s day” and no “man’s day”. Well these things exist due to the years of prejudice that women have and still are facing, hence we need to raise awareness of the accomplishments of a gender. Think about it in terms of useful analogies, then you will start to understand why feminism may focus on promoting. For example you could also ask “Well if there is a Gay Pride day, why is there no straight pride day?”, “Why is there no White History Month?” or “why don’t they make a film remembering the slavers rather than the slaves?”. When you realise all these qyestions are of the same ilk, you can begin to realise that feminism needs to exist to represent and find justice for the mistreated women around the world.

  • Harry Mann

    It is true that many want to see you fail. It is also true that even those who you would like to see succeed may be in the camp of those who want to see you fail. I have known “friends” who absorb every word of advice I give them, but then they turn around and feel hostile about it; they may even feign that they are rejecting the information but you know that they have etched it into their brains. Then there are those who will offer you bad advice owing to the idea that if they gave you good information they would feel like they were serving your interests, the key word being “serve”. If they give you bad information and you act on it, then they feel that they are a powerful influence, that people act on their advice even to their own detriment. And there is the issue of mothers, when they have an idea of what they want you to be or how far they want you to rise in life, there are those who feel that they don’t want you going anywhere so they don’t want you getting anywhere. There are mothers who don’t want to let go of their sense of dominance over their children or any one particular child. So they will try to undermine their sense of self worth and self esteem. They may try to emasculate their male children, particularly if they are angry at the father, the father has substance abuse issues, or if the father has abandoned his wife.

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  • Fulio Rodriganser

    Best thing I have ever read in a fucking long time. There is a saying to keep in mind always “even your best friend will celebrate you have failed”

  • Fulio Rodriganser

    Great ending!