Everything I Know About Women

I was sitting in a coffee shop when a young man came up to me. “Are you Roosh?” he asked.

“Yes I’m Roosh.”

“I want to be good with women. Please teach me everything you know.”

I said, “Before I teach you everything I know, I want you to prove to me that you will commit to my teachings. Go on the internet, find a couple pickup lines, and approach 100 women. Then come back and tell me how it went.”

One month later he came back.

“Roosh I did the 100 approaches. Some of them went okay but I usually ran out of things to say. I didn’t get laid. So I’m ready now for you to teach me everything you know.”

“Before I teach you everything I know, I want you to go read 30 books. They can be about anything. Then come back to me and tell me which books you read.”

He came back six months later. He told me about the books he read and the interesting things he learned from them. He showed me his new e-reader and mentioned how reading has become somewhat of an addiction for him.

“Okay Roosh I did the 100 approaches and read the books. Now can you teach me everything you know?”

I said, “I will be more than happy to, but you don’t look healthy. Your body is soft. Go read Starting Strength, follow the program to the letter, and come back to me in 3 months.”

When he came back again, his walk had more bounce and his muscles were bigger. I noticed he also got a new haircut.

“Okay Roosh I did the 100 approaches, read the books, and can now deadlift 250 pounds. I feel more confident. But can you just teach me everything you know about picking up women?”

I said, “Sure thing. But first I want you to do all three levels of the Pimsleur language program in Spanish. Then I want you to go to Colombia for two weeks to practice the language.”

“Jesus Christ Roosh! How is that going to help me with women?”

“You want me to teach you everything I know about women, right?” I said.

“Yes I do, but it will take a long time to learn Spanish and save the money for a trip. I just want to learn how to get laid like you. I mean, I don’t even know where Colombia is.”

“Just do what I tell you to do, and I will teach you everything I know.”

He came back nine months later and greeted me in decent Spanish. He told me a lot of fun stories about Colombia, including how he had a little fling with Maria, a girl he met while asking for directions in Medellin. “When I was in Colombia I heard a lot of guys hyping up Brazil, so I started learning Portuguese. It’s not so hard because the languages are similar. But anyways I still want you to teach me everything you know about women.”

“You got it. But there’s just one last thing I want you to do. Go do 100 more approaches. Then I promise you that when you come back, I will teach you everything that I know.”

Three months later he came back to the coffee shop. Behind him was a pretty girl.

“Hey Roosh this is Rebecca. I met her in the grocery store and we’ve been going out for two months.” When she stepped out to make a phone call, he said, “Roosh you’ve been very helpful to me. I’ve grown a lot in the past couple years and can barely recognize myself in the mirror, but I’m finally ready for you to teach me everything you know about…”

Suddenly he stopped and stared at me. A smile formed on his face. He gave me a strong handshake and then left with his girl. I never saw him again.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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  • michelin

    love this post. again, roosh shows how hard work pays off. nothing comes for free, just do what you gotta do. study, approach, study more, approach more, til you got the bang.

  • Anonymous

    that was heart warming

  • Dave

    The moral of the story Confidence, self belief and hard work is the key to success.

  • Olivherbst

    Epic.

    Funny thing: I just got the Pimsleur Audio Course for Portuguese :D

  • Anon

    not written: roosh get’s rebecca’s number and fucks her that night

  • Leo

    You are so incredibly full of yourself. Urgh.

  • Anonymous

    Roosh –

    Great tweet about American goal-setting. True dat.

  • Uri Katsav

    This sounds like a Biblical or Rabinical parable.

  • http://www.themastersoffate.com Invictus III

    Great post. It’s true. There really are no magic bullets for this stuff. To get better takes a lot of work and a lot ‘in field’ experience. By improving yourself you are automatically making yourself more attractive to women. This makes game come more natural since you’ve made yourself congruent with the value you telegraph through your routines and openers.

  • http://transmillenium.wordpress.com/ Transmillenium

    Wow… Roosh the ‘Profet of the Pussy’ who sits on a rock with his harem of 7 women –one for each day of the week– and teaches the pilgrims what are they going to find on their way: what they expect to find.

  • http://donlak.wordpress.com Donlak

    Roosh the zen master

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  • Blindhawg

    Yup. Work on yourself,get a life, and start talking to people. Amazing results will follow whether it be with women, making new friends, or career!

  • http://www.vksempireofdirt.com virgle kent

    LOL…. Roosh when was the last time you were in any country for that amount of time for this dude to keep coming back and asking you to teach him?

    Sike, nice parable. The funny thing is if you told the guy everything he had to do to learn everything to pick up women he would have looked at you and said 3 years… fuck that! But the fact you broke it down slowly, went through the steps of growth, and showed how in parts it’s achievable proves it can be done.

    But next time skip it and ask him to snatch the pebble from your hand.

  • http://Bjjcompete.Blogspot.com Jiu Jitsu Maniac

    Self improvement is very helpful for attracting girls. A few months ago I wasn’t getting as much sex from the gf that I wanted. Since then I started training in jiu jitsu, I lost 24 pounds and am looking better than ever. It also gave me the opportunity to show off my athleticism at a tournament I won. I think she use to doubt my stories of sports accomplishments from HS and college till she watched me. Now I get like 2x the sex and am happy.

  • Uri Katsav

    The title of this post should be: ‘The Gospel according to Roosh’ or ‘Game according to Roosh’.

    And Roosh’s nephews came, and said unto him, why speakest thou unto them in parables?
    He answered and said unto them, because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the Kingdom of Pussy, but to them it is not given.
    For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.
    Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand.

  • Marmot

    The essence of Game- there is constant improvement, but no quick fixes.

    LOL @ nr. 5 :D

  • Guavaberry

    Newsflash: Women admire confidence, charisma and ambition.

    Do guys seriously have a hard time figuring that out.

  • Blanco

    Another reason why Roosh is the man

  • http://beastlyluck.blogspot.com/ MattW

    Wax on, wax off.

  • Timothy

    All Roosh did was lead him in the right direction to teach himself. He gave him the framework, and things happened naturally. Instead of feeding him, he taught him to fish. Nice story.

  • outlaw josey wales

    It is not a coincidence that Roosh looks very much like Jesus Christ.

  • DiamondEyes

    Excellent! The Mr. Myagi of Poon.

  • http://www.AroundtheWorldin80Jobs.com around the world in 80 jobs

    HaHa I love the Karate Kid method. It takes away some of the direct stress.

    But as you said, experience and learning from doing is paramount to anything. I had read tons of blogs but had never started one because I wanted to learn “more” first. Yet I have learned more from actually doing it than I could in a book. Advice can only take you so far, doing and the willingness to thrown oneself to the lions is where the real magic happens.

    -Turner

    ps quit pumping Colombia Roosh, you are going to ruin it for me by the time I get back there.

    I am in Mexico now and the Catholicism/cultural stigma is killing me.

  • Maximus

    “I am in Mexico now and the Catholicism/cultural stigma is killing me.”

    I was also planning to visit Mexico on my tour on Latin America, are you meaning that girls are very prude?

  • JM

    Great parable. Also serves to explain why some men learn game a lot faster than other men…if you’re already interesting and learned, being yourself + not buying girls drinks and making strong eye contact may be all thats required to cross the alpha/beta divide.

    that said, there’s definitely a lot more to game than self-improvement, but the latter should be the primary concern.

  • nguyenimproved

    good post roosh.

    im guessing ur in lietva.

  • Zorro

    I also have the Pimsleur BrazPort, and Roosh’s Brazil Compendium. Brazilian bundas is on my horizon!

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    “The moral of the story Confidence, self belief and hard work is the key to success.”

    And a little “get up and go”.

  • The Glee Manifesto

    Everywhere you go, there you are

  • http://exceedandlead.com Fearless

    That pimsleur program is made for international players. The first line you learn in the free lesson is excuse me miss, do you speak english? Thanks for the tip, definitely going to pick it up.

  • http://gameisarevelation.blogspot.com Jean-Luc LeGame

    Excellent post. The truth, beautifully expressed.

  • secret crossdresser

    beautifully spun parable

  • onceugoblack

    what you siddharta now nigga?

  • Mr.GM

    Beautiful.

  • Anonymous

    What happened is all that experience boosted his confidence.

    “Improve yourself in a huge, instantly-noticable way”

    That is some advice I got for boosting confidence.

  • Subotai

    “This is bullshit Mr. Miyagi! I thought you were going to teach me karate! And all I’m doing is painting your fences and waxing your cars!”

    “I did teach you Karate, Daniel-San! Here, I will try to hit you and you block me!”

    “Paint fence high! Paint fence low! Wax on!”

    “Wow, Mr. Miyagi, you did teach me! What happened to wax off though?”

    “This is game forum, Daniel-san. No whacks off!!!”

  • Sai

    Great props for Starting Strength! Nice to see the diverse rivers of enlightenment merging into one.

  • http://taoofdirt.wordpress.com/ Dirt Man

    This is great. Even though you know where it’s going, you still have to keep reading. Nice work Roosh.

  • DrG

    #27 you’re definitely wrong. NO way is Roosh in Lietva (Lithuania) as it is not an industrial shithole and actually has one of the lowest unemployment rates and best fiscally managed economies in all of EU.

    If I had to guess Roosh is in BelajaRosija (Belorussia)

  • Anonymous

    Big ups to Starting Strength and Rippletits!

  • Orson

    But hey, the Game denialists will say this is all bullshit, and Game doesn’t work…..

    ……and they have no alternative…..

  • Orson

    Excellent, Roosh. One of your best.

  • Orson

    Do guys seriously have a hard time figuring that out.

    Look at how much energy game denialists spend on avoiding having to introspect about themselves.

  • http://www.rbz.co.zw/ Taeshawndrix Bicksnewd Freeman, PhD

    Feel good story of the year. Why ain’t Hollywood making inspirational pictures scripted like this?

  • Patrick

    This is great, thanks!

  • dkbose

    Wow, so zen-like!

  • Jamez

    Nice

  • pilgrim37

    You were sitting in that Coffee shop for a long time!! :)

  • Anonymous

    Deadlifting 250 lbs is nothing special. Most males can do that. Up the weight to somewhere around 400 if you want to impress people.

  • http://www.livingthai.org Chris

    Great story and so true.

  • Phinn

    This post has now been printed out, and will be saved for my son, for when he’s ready. He’s 8.

  • Anonymous

    fuck man, how do you expect anyone to buy pua books or pay for consulting after this?

    expect a visit from the pua police.

  • muc

    i like it. reminds me of karate kid.
    kid: “teach me karate.”
    mr miyagi: “ok, wash my car.”

  • http://best maadhatter

    I call bullshit

    I can do all those things and they still wont get me laid.

  • http://postmasculine.com Mark

    This is probably my favorite thing you’ve written.

  • Emaneercs

    #55 missed the point…

  • Jason

    I would say this is your best post ever. Good work.

  • AWD

    I just came up with a Sandra Fluke Quickmeme!

    C’mon and chip in with some good ones!

    http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/36enzw/

  • Turk

    “Currently in industrial shithole” that emoticon is cracked me up!

  • http://www.progresstoday.info Mr Progress

    Enlightened to pussy. Comic gold. Big up on the blog. Great stuff.
    Mr Progress

  • http://www.thetigress.tumblr.com MJ

    I’ve read some of these interesting blog posts, had some of my own comments. Thanks for the entertainment.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da5nOZRJ2p0

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  • rationalist

    Bullshit. Roosh, the problems that many betas have are not best solved by trips around the world. I personally know betas who save up from their cubicle job and go on trips to exotic places, where they basically act like grandpa and grandma on holiday, never have any interesting adventures. Knowing multiple foreign languages doesn’t make you more alpha.

    This story, though amusing, is very bad advice. If you want good game, learn game not Spanish. Spend time and energy moving to a big city where you will find wings, coaches and venues.

  • Zak

    Why does everyone have this fixation that Brazil is some sort of perfect Nirvana where sex crazed, half naked, Samba Queens chase pasty Western tourists through the streets demanding sex right there and then? Really guys, calm down! I have some experience of Brazil (two visits, two months in country in total). I tend to agree with Roosh’s views on the country and of course, he is much more experienced there than me.

    However, the whole “friendly Brazilian” thing is overdone. In Rio tourists tend to say in Zona Sul and this is a good idea if you want to stay safe, as most other area are a bad idea for a naive foreigner. However, I have never found the people there to be particularly friendly; and the rich kids in Leblon etc tend to not be interested in tourists at all. As a matter of fact a gringo toursit in the company of a morena or mulatta girl in particular leads to the assumption by the locals that she is working and you are her trick – there is some prejudice about this in Brazil.

    The rest of the country varies and people are often warm, but don’t expect hugs walking down the street. In terms of socialising, Brazilians like to do so in numbers; it’s socially awkward to socialise in most situations on your own. Do you have Brazilian friends? They also like to dance; can you do so well so that you don’t get laughed at? Can you speak Portugese to at least a high conversational standard? (“Tudo Bem” on its own won’t cut it). Did I mention that Brazil is the most expensive country I have visited? Are you aware that you have to be security conscious at all times?

    Good luck guys, I enjoyed most of Brazil but not all and I’m not blind to its faults. I have been elsewhere and my personal belief is that the heydays for foreign guys seeking fun in Brazil have already passed.

  • http://www.guyguides.com Guy Guides

    Amazing. Already reposted this everywhere :)

  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous

    So… you’re the Mr. Miyagi of douchebags then?

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  • Melville

    I was looking for a while, but it was tough to find because I barley remembered any of the details. One of your better game posts (and thats saying something). May I recommend putting it on the side bar.

  • Snow99

    Hi Roosh. I’m going to do follow those steps exactly. Thank you.

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  • Quintus Curtius

    Great teaching parable. Something Diogenes Laetius could have written about one of the great philosophers….

  • Trey

    I weigh 164, deadlift 515, and still haven’t gotten laid in the past few months. :( Haven’t made enough approaches yet though. Scarred brah. Also women tend to freak out when I walk on the same side walk as them. I get new numbers every day though. Can’t wait until I can bench 300. That might help a little.

  • ass

    lol

  • RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRed

    Roosh may be the Buddha’s reincarnation