Female Wingmen Are Overrated

Here’s an Bang excerpt from page 56:

You may want to turn an attractive lady friend into a wingman. The female wingman is supposed to let other females know that you are accepted on this Earth by at least one woman. But we use her differently than a male wingman. While your buddy is by your side to talk to the girlfriends and absorb distractions, the female wingman is there to increase your social standing. When you enter a venue, you want to talk to your lady friend long enough for other girls to see. Make the interaction ambiguous by talking close and encouraging her to touch you from time to time. Then, go approach girls on your own, who will now be much more receptive to your game.

The purpose of the female wingman is just to increase the success rate of your approaches. While you can bring your lady friend along with you in the approach, I find that the girls tend to talk too much amongst themselves, severely limiting my ability to game. Don’t let a girl do the approach for you—approaching a girl you want to sleep with is your job and no one else’s.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen a man properly use a female wingman. He thinks that because he has some social proof the girls will start coming up to him, or that the wingwoman will do all the work, but it rarely works out like that. What ends up happening is that he barely talks to other girls.

I will always recommend men use a male wingman before female ones, for two reasons. First, when you have a cute girl on your arm you get lazy and comfortable, probably because your hunger is tamed. Second, there’s a subconscious desire not to get rejected in front of other women (especially ones you know), so you’ll tend to only go for other girls who gave you a good signal like eye contact.

Unless your female wingman knows you play the numbers game to get sex, and that you do get rejected often, you’ll be much more hesitant to approach than if you were hanging out with another guy. While I do value the social proof that comes with hanging out with beautiful women, the female wingman is too overrated for guys who already have game. The benefit is marginal unless you know exactly what you’re doing.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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  • therealdeal

    I rarely use wingwomen, usually I use them to meet THEIR acquaintances…a better bet!

  • mulhollanddriven

    Where Im from the female wonwoman is key. But unless you have the personality to turn the attention back on you I could see how it would backfire on you.

    Basically…if you already have game, it can socially proof you and get you into more sets.

    But, if you don’t have game already, you are just opening yourself up to having two annoying girls talking your head off.

    It works for me

  • Lumiere

    The problem with female wingwomen is that they quickly descend into girly girly chit chat and end up talking to each other and you can’t get a word in unless you feel like talking about stupid shit.

  • doriangray

    Spot on.

  • Anonymous

    Merry Christmas

  • http://recklessnessandaudacity.blogspot.com TAllagash

    wingmen of any gender are overrated. the moment you add a wingman…you increase the variables for fucking up/and not fucking

    TAllagash’s last blog post: Passing Ships.

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    “wingmen of any gender are overrated. the moment you add a wingman…you increase the variables for fucking up/and not fucking”

    Good point, that is why I primarily roll Dolo: http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2007/08/going-for-dolo.html

    I have used fly female running partners before, but I always end up swooping them.

    – MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: What does a G do on the Holidays?.

  • http://roarsavage.wordpress.com RoarSavage

    Have you ever been a wingman to a woman? Which makes women more attractive to potential guys – a woman out with a wingman or wingwoman?

    RoarSavage’s last blog post: Your Presence is the Present.

  • Roosh

    If a girl wants to get approached by guys more often, she should go out with only one other girl. No big groups, no guys. Nothing will make another guy hesitate to approach a girl than another guy hovering over her. This is why I don’t understand single women who got out with wolf packs and then complain that guys are too scared to approach.

  • http://thedcam.com thedcam

    Also female wingmen are no good because if they stay in the set too long their menstrual cycle will sync-up and then all hell breaks loose. True story.

    thedcam’s last blog post: Clean Your Way To More Sex.

  • newly divorced


    I’ve done it a few times. It’s great for the girl if she’s moderately attractive & shy. You can just approach almost any guy in the bar and he’ll be happy to talk to her. This only works for attractive women, would you want to talk to an ugly girl just because her guy friend introduced you?

    It’s also good for your game because you’re talking to a lot of people and it makes you look social which makes it easier to make approaches for yourself.

  • Jumanji

    @2 mulhollanddriven

    You obviously are gay. Only closeted gays believe in something called “game”. This is proven.

    A HOT wingwoman works if she she knows what her objective is and that’s to get you to score with other hotties in a bar or club.

    A hot woman with a short chump dude brings his level of power that he overuns the tall gay looking body builders and can get a hottie or two.

    Also the escort options are there.

  • Pingback: Burning Bridges and Pissing on Them « Misadventures of Vincent Ignatius()

  • Kate

    I recently had the oportunity to function as a wingwoman to a long standing friend and found the experience gratifying as hell.
    In essence, every issue raised with the use of a female wingman stems from the girl either believing her sole job is to be attractive and/or ignorance of how a gender traditional wingman functions.
    Looks aside, if you can find a broad who can hang regardless you shouldn’t have too much of the chit chat problem. Yes, babes show stability but they can also talk you up when the opportunity presents itself, scope for potentials, fill awkward gaps in conversation – so long as they don’t do all the talking, whisper suggestions and pointers to get or keep the ball rolling and if versatile enough, are equally good if not better in distracting the friend(s).
    Where a wingman can be off putting enough to make the friend push for a leave, girl talk never comes across as pervy.
    Lastly, I think one key advantage to a wingman of the opposite sex has been grossly overlooked here… in most instances, atleast your target won’t decide she’s cuter, funnier, etc than you… which is by far the worst cock block of all, gentlemen.

  • Kate

    Also, if a chick’s travelling with a bunch of dudes, for the most part this is because she doesn’t actually want to be hit on. Just sayin’…

  • naturally paleo

    Female wingmen would be great for regular day game. Whenever I went to the mall with my ex gfs especially in a Victoria’s Secret or Lululemon store where few men dare to go alone I always got eye fucked unlike any other place. It’s the conniving bitches that are the wildest in bed.