Here’s an email I received recently…
So, I’ve been unemployed for quite some time, and as a result my confidence and self-esteem has dropped to an all-time low. I stopped hitting on girls, because I feared a lack of employment would sink every and all interaction. I had it in my head that a girl would never get with a guy who was a jobless bum.
But after reading this post and reading through Bang as a refresher, I was finally able to recoup some of my lost courage and started talking to girls again. But with a few of the girls I’ve been approaching and talking to, I’ve been hit with the dreaded, “So, what do you do?” question. I do the indirect thing and it has worked, but the girls usually know I’m just having fun, and some of them will persist with the question in a smiling, nagging way. Now, if I was shooting for the one night stand, I’d probably never reveal what my job status is, but my game is nowhere near that tight yet, so I usually have to do the 1-3 dates thing.
I have a date set up this Tuesday with one of those girls who persisted in knowing what I do. I’m pretty sure the question will be brought up again sometime during our time together, so I’m trying to figure what I should say. Should I continue to never reveal my unemployment until she just gives up and moves on? Or should i just come out and tell her, “I’m unemployed,” in a stern, direct manner?
When you’re gaming at night, it doesn’t matter if you’re the president of a Fortune 500 company or a model photographer, but you should always be playfully indirect when asked about your job, at about the point where she thinks you’re trying to hide something. The reason is because being evasive and shady builds attraction, while answering honestly and directly decreases attraction. Only after you’ve pulled her chain for a while can you reveal the truth in a way that doesn’t try to impress her.
For example, if you’re a computer programmer, don’t say you’re a “Senior project manager for a defense contractor” unless you want to instantly dry up the pussy. Your first answer should be a made-up profession, like organic farmer or seal hunter, then only afterwards when she insists on knowing the truth can you say something self-depreciative like computer drone, cubicle slave, or office monkey, things you can use for just about every profession. Understand that girls get hit with dozens of fancy job titles every week, and the only way to stand out and show you don’t give a fuck about her is to make yourself appear like a loser. It’s ironic but perfectly contrary, and easy to implement into your game starting right now.
(It’s a little different during day pickups, where you don’t want to discourage a sober girl by being overly aloof. If your conversation is serious and barely playful, give a serious answer.)
If you’re unemployed, think for a second about what other unemployed guys say to girls. I’ll go ahead and tell you—they say “I’m between jobs” or “I’m consulting” or they lie outright and say they’re employed. Wrong, wrong, and wrong. Instead you will look her in the eyes and say “I don’t have a job right now.” Then silence. Don’t qualify it and don’t apologize for it. Let it sink in for a few seconds and then change the subject by asking her, “So what do you do?”
The other irony of game is that the unemployed guy will bang the girl faster than the employed guy. When you don’t hit any of her provider buttons, there is no point for her in waiting to bang you since it’s not like you’re going to take her out to dinner (or anywhere else for that matter). As long as she is attracted to you, your chance of a one-night stand is high. Plus your blunt and self-deprecation made her horny, since no other guy has gone out of his way to not impress her, forcing her to subconsciously conclude that you are indeed a high-value male. But if you go on and on about your important job, raising the prospect that she may get some freebies out of you, she will not give you the one-night stand and you’ll be the chump working for the pussy when I fucked it without any effort.
Bottom line is I stay with my dad while in the States because it doesn’t affect my sex life. If anything, I see a positive effect. When a girl finds out I’m a bum that gives her absolute zero hope of a future or anything for free, she opens her legs in four hours or less. Why should she wait? She’s attracted to me and knows she’s not going to get any additional benefits as time goes on. I become an impulse “purchase” like a candy bar in the grocery checkout line.
The only problem with living at my dad’s is the logistical hurdle of being in the suburbs, which is located 30 minutes driving from the nightlife zone. If I lived next door to my dad’s in my own townhouse, I would not get laid any more than I have during my previous stays there. While living a bit far out from the action has cost me notches, living with my dad never has.
It still boggles my mind how girls simply don’t care what a man’s situation is as long as she’s attracted to him. A lot of haters want to say something like, “Oh well, you only bang the trashy or low-quality girls.” My friends VK and Rookie are witness to some of the gems that got fucked on the floor mattress of my basement room, which you can personally tour in this video. They range in age from 21-32, of differing races, socioeconomic backgrounds, and even nationality. The epitome of dad’s basement game was when a wealthy girl drove me home in her BMW X5 and then loved the floor mattress so much that she wouldn’t stop bugging me afterwards with a barrage of text messages. In that case I was the one who had to cut things off. To build off of Roissy’s saying, 5 minutes of basement-dwelling alpha is worth more than 5 years of beta.
The only time living with your dad may matter is if the girl wants to get married in the next two years, but if that’s the case I guarantee you she is well past her prime and worn hard from a lot of previous alpha fucking. In other words, I wouldn’t even drag those girls back to my dad’s house in the first place. All that really matters with your home is its proximity to the pickup venues. I will be the first to admit that having a place within walking distance of my favorite bar would increase my notch count, but as long as you have an enclosed private space, you’re solidly in the game. As my many car bangs can tell you, even a mattress is superflouous.
Therefore I’m not surprised by a recent article in Slate magazine called Sex Is Cheap: Why young men have the upper hand in bed, even when they’re failing in life. An important quote…
And yet while young men’s failures in life are not penalizing them in the bedroom, their sexual success may, ironically, be hindering their drive to achieve in life. Don’t forget your Freud: Civilization is built on blocked, redirected, and channeled sexual impulse, because men will work for sex. Today’s young men, however, seldom have to. As the authors of last year’s book Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality put it, “Societies in which women have lots of autonomy and authority tend to be decidedly male-friendly, relaxed, tolerant, and plenty sexy.” They’re right. But then try getting men to do anything.
Does it make sense to you why I don’t pony up $1,200 a month for my own studio while in DC? Because I don’t need to. Incredibly, I’m not punished for being a 30-something male “loser” with no stable job, no future prospects, and no proper bed frame. But I have game, and today that’s all you need to get more sex than you can handle. Thank you feminism, for helping create a society where I get more pussy than most of my peers, even though 50 years ago the only sex I’d get is from prostitutes. No other period in human history has been more sexually tilted towards men than the time we live in now. As long as feminists remain deluded in thinking they have the sexual power, this magnificent orgy of casual sex will continue unabated.Tweet Follow @rooshv
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Great post. I live my Dad too, and it’s awesome.
I’ll add one thing to your advice to unemployed men for when girls ask about their job: You have to show her that you’re passionate about SOMETHING. Girls like guys who have opted out of the conventional status hierarchy and have refused play by the rules of 9-5/mortgage/marriage. But they aren’t attracted to lazy, shiftless, directionless bums. So find a hobby, preferably an art form, and get passionate about it.
Also, it’s just better for your soul to spent your unemployed hours writing/painting/recording music/martial arts training/etc.
Good post Roosh. My favourite job titles right now are Lion Tamer, Snake Charmer and Dragon Slayer. I used a line last week where I said ‘I’m not sure sure if you’ll like me as I only slayed 1 Dragon this month, will you still want me?’ Gold.
As someone who also stays at home when I’m back in the country, I agree that it’s a non-issue. But being from the suburbs in a bitch!!!
I’ve lost countless notches purely on proximity.
My favourite new job (straight from the forum): International man of mystery…
Unfortunately I don’t have this option because I grew up in Bumblefuck, Deliverancabama.
So I have to pay the whore tax (rent) to live where the sluts are.
The crib itself doesn’t matter ( http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2010/03/player-myth-4080-the-need-for-a-dope-crib.html ).
When I was a young G on the rise I lived in one of my worst cribs ever (granted it was in one of Southern California’s wealthiest beach towns) and I swooped girls daily in that place. I would just peel straight off the beach.
Location however can be a killer. Especially in a situation like Roosh’s “which is located 30 minutes driving from the nightlife zone”
You need to live within a 10 min walk of where you party. That is a rule to live by. More girls, less Dui’s.
Advanced move: Live within walking distance of a Gentleman’s Club. You will be amazed. Thank me later.
Roosh, you need to make friends with a rich cat that lives near the nightclub strip and has an extra room or two for you.
Also I wonder if your dad has been amenable to this situation because of his ethnicity. Regular white American parents have a strong tendency to just refuse to let this kind of thing go on for very long. Our family ties only stretch so far, and after that its sink or swim.
I’ve talked about this with a few friends from non-Anglo families and they’re always shocked by this. They think its cold and bit cruel.
It’s funny dufu – I’m non-Anglo and my parents actually prefer me to live with them. It’s a blessing. But there is a dark side. My non-Anglo parents are so intrusive that I fear bringing a girl home, especially the slutty ones. And my mother can spot a slut a mile away – it’s really an amazing talent she has. I wish I inherited that skill so that I could get more bangs.
At G Manifesto and Roosh,
I’m about to make that power move at the end of Spring, pony up and pay that loot to live the dream in my own 1 bedroom. Walking distance from the club AND a strip club = End Game
how about “I’m a lion tamer”
Bravo. Bravo at another insight.
Feminism is not just a progress for women, but even more so for men. There’s completely no reason to get riled up about it: it makes men’s life easier, at the least in the dimension of sex.
I disagree. I think having your own place really helps from a logistical point of view. My roommates always kill the fucking vibe with their stupid antics. So that sucked. Then when i was crashing at my mom’s place, DUI’s were the worry. How the hell do i get home?
A solid apt of your own really helps big time. In my opin. It’s not a requirement, but it def helps with the logistics.
“And my mother can spot a slut a mile away – it’s really an amazing talent she has. I wish I inherited that skill so that I could get more bangs.”
OK, that comment was hilarious and oh so true.
Obviously, what Roosh says is very possible. I’m just not so sure it would work for guys who are just starting to learn game. It might cause the barrier to entry to be too high.
Roosh, I’m going to print this blog post out and frame it. Pure Gold.
The psychology of this is very similar to the whole don’t-hold-her-coat and don’t-buy-her-a-drink thing.
Doing a job that you hate to buy a big house and an expensive car that you don’t need to impress a woman is the ultimate in “holding her coat” and “buying her a drink”.
Its a slightly different issue for cohabiting long term relationships, but I am lucky that my girlfriend has never tried to qualify me in terms of money or status.
I live about a 15 min walk from Chinatown (DC), but I hate most of their bars — plus, you have to fight the sports fans for space on weekdays. The bright side is there are usually a lot more out-of-towners, which in my experience almost doubles your chances for getting one night poon. There aren’t any other options besides metro-ing from L’Enfant or driving but my location is prime (group townhouse) and cheap ($900/mo) so I’m not leaving anytime soon.
Gmanifesto said “Advanced move: Live within walking distance of a Gentleman’s Club. You will be amazed. Thank me later.”
So… advanced move…. live in the sketchy part of town. lolz
“hello, my name is george. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”
I think there was an episode of House like this where the pretty boy doctor made a bet with the guy from Blackadder that girls were attracted to his doctor job, not his looks, so he tried pretending to be a bum at bars to prove it:
“So what do you do?”
“I play videogames.”
“Oh really? Professionally?”
“Sh’yeah I wish…”
Since we’re on the subject which neighborhood in D.C is best for nightlife, bars, daygame , and apartment affordability? Adams Morgan, Dupont Circle, H Street Corridor, U Street, or Georgetown. Any ideas will be much appreciated.
Seinfeld created this theory
Nightlife: I’ve been sticking to mostly Dupont, U. St., old town, and occassionally AdMo. Used to do more chinatown, georgetown, H St., bethesda on occassion — but not so much anymore. Mainly because of proximity to my place, drink prices, # of decent bars and the fact that I don’t really do clubs anymore.
Daygame: I still like the Chinatown/Metrocenter area because of the high amount of foot traffic, coffee shops, and bookstores. Georgetown and SW Waterfront (Cantina Marina) aren’t bad either when it’s warm out. Capitol Skyline hotel is pretty nice in the summer (it’s in SW) — $5-$10 to get into the outdoor pool area (1st drink free, live DJ, fairly cheap drinks).
Apartments: I have no idea, I lucked out with mine.
Also, enjoy your time in Denmark. Once chosen the nicest place on earth to live, but which almost all foreigners claim is one of the most closed and unfriendly societies on the planet. I’ve read descriptions of Bangla-fucking-desh that are more welcoming than Denmark.
Negtives: If you choke on your food, instead of administering the heimlich, Danes will assume you’re just trying to say hello.
Positives: Any language in the world will sound pleasant after Danish.
Obligatory Onion reference:
Good lookin on that GMAC
I’d also say avoid Clarendon unless you love stuck up immature 21 year olds and sausage fests.
Ya, I’ve been unemployed for about a month now. Still have a really fine girlfriend who doesn’t care because I know how to pleasure her well. As long as you master your PUA and seduction skills it won’t matter if you are broke, ugly, unemployed, etc. My guy friends don’t understand how I still get laid regularly even though they are working high paying jobs and hitting on girls with less success than I.
I’ve been spending my time constructing a database of fine girls from every country (useful for planning your next trip :) while looking for a new job. Enjoy:
“Gmanifesto said “Advanced move: Live within walking distance of a Gentleman’s Club. You will be amazed. Thank me later.”
So… advanced move…. live in the sketchy part of town. lolz”
Not sure where you live.
I am talking Hollywood, Miami Beach, North Beach SF, The French Quarter, Las Vegas strip, Manhattan.
And I have never been one for gated communities.
It’s funny you say that because I was actually thinking about trying Clarendon. Last weekend was rough for me. I went to adams morgan and every bar I went to was a sausage fest. Went to 5 bars and probably saw 2 attractive women. Then I took a cab to dupont and every place had lines. The shortest was lucky bar so I went in there. Same issue. Sausagefest! LOL Know any good spots in U st? I’ve been to local 16 and cafe st. ex before.
This has gotta be the definitive reply to Hymnowitz.
lol! roosh finally admits he lives in daddies basement. Who’d take advice from this geico caveman?
Not having your own place can make logistics difficult every now and then, but on the other hand…you could just head over to her place.
The key here is if you get along with whatever relative you’re living with. Family can be the greatest, but also the worst. If you get along and enjoy being in each other’s company, go with it.
VK the move into DC propper is more than worth it. You can definitely do it big on the cheap in studios if you get the layout right. The girls tend to be hotter in Arlington, but those same girls shit themselves when they find out you actually live in the city.
“It’s funny you say that because I was actually thinking about trying Clarendon. Last weekend was rough for me. I went to adams morgan and every bar I went to was a sausage fest. Went to 5 bars and probably saw 2 attractive women. Then I took a cab to dupont and every place had lines. The shortest was lucky bar so I went in there. Same issue. Sausagefest! LOL Know any good spots in U st? I’ve been to local 16 and cafe st. ex before.”
damn, i never hear anything good about DC. the place must suck bad.
I would temper expectations about going out in the DC area Saturday nights (amateur night). You’re better off with more low key places/lounges Saturday night vice the larger places and incorporate some mid-week drinking (NOT happy hours).
lol at #9 – lion tamer! * whip cracks * definitely gets the conversation moving in the right direction! Personally why would anyone care what you do?!? It’s not like I’m going to hang with someone at their job. The more appropriate thing is to ask people “what do you do… outside of work?” The stunned looks some girls give in DC to that question makes you realize you probably should talk to someone else that knows how to lead a more interesting life.
@34 Fireworks56…my guess is that asking a man what he does for a living is a less direct way of asking how much money he makes. Or the individual lacks the ability to think of something more interesting to ask. I like the idea of asking about what someone is interested in, more than what they do for a living because MOST people are probably not very interested in what they do for a living – it’s just a way to pay bills. Few people have the kind of job they simply can’t wait to get up and go to every morning (of course, if you have great co-workers it’s a bonus). I’ve long tried to think of the job as something I have to do to get money to do the things I DO love doing.
Excellent post Roosh,
Very insightful. I’m going to start using some of these strategies right away.
I present myself as a good catch. I was starting to sense that this was a bad idea. I don’t want to marry these girls anyway, so why the hell am I presenting myself like this???
“She’s attracted to me and knows she’s not going to get any additional benefits as time goes on. I become an impulse “purchase” like a candy bar in the grocery checkout line.”
Nice! I’m gonna stop telling girls my wonderful plans for the future and just say …”Shit, i don’t know what the hell I want to do, lets just get drunk”
Roosh: How then to use effectively what you have in terms of wealth and status?
I totally agree with your post, but I think we need to ask a futher question, how to use the status that you have as a weapon in pussy chase, or should it be buried in the basement for good?
I think I might be a man, who easily shoots himself in the foot by manifesting too much status, simply because I can do that. And the outcome – yeah, it is poor. Not getting around that. Golddiggers looking for a free meal, just like you said.
Is it possible to optimise the status/aloofness equation, and how? Use the status as a red cloth like in a bullfight, but yet avoid pushing those “provider buttons” that will delay your access to the pussy?
What kind of variations of game could be used and in what proportion should you dose your medicine (neghs, status show etc.)?
Just to put it simple, how to get pussy, if you have what it takes to be a provider?? Just neghs and only neghs???
Härmän häjy (probably not having the best game outof Finnish guys)
PS. I can’t pass the chance to remind you what pussies the Swedish guys are. They certainly can’t control their girl, we have seen that..
If you just draw on this latest article of Roosh, you could easily come to the conclusion that you should always rather look poor than wealthy and loser without networks rather than socially preselected etc. Isn’t that against the rules of the game?
I haven’t read lots of game blogs or articles, therefore I would need specific assistance to put what was said in this article in the right perspective with game, and thus improve my own performance.
@Harman hajy: Think about how Roosh uses his money.
He likes to travel and he puts a high premium on doing he wants to do.
Money is not the problem, but status symbols or qualifying yourself to women can be a problem if you are not careful.
The moment you start thinking of how to convey your “status” to a girl, you’re already drying up the pussy.
Think the supermodels will be even more thin on the ground if this guy’s arguement is correct
Roosh seems to have more — and more persistent — hater-trolls than even the Chateau. Must be doing something right.
The problem is that a man’s work is often his source of confidence.
It takes supreme cojones and attitude to rise above unemployment and practice Game successfully.
Don’t ask me how I know.
Roosh, what about when the chick asks “So what do you do all day” right before you can change the subject to her when you say you don’t have a job right now? Just say, “I’m looking for one”?
“Roosh, what about when the chick asks “So what do you do all day” right before you can change the subject to her when you say you don’t have a job right now? Just say, “I’m looking for one”?”
Why would you want to be that direct? You’ll just turn her off.
When she asks what you do all day you spin it however you want so the conversation moves back to your frame and you make her laugh or question herself for asking a dumb question.
“I play video games all day in my underwear.”
“I have ‘hobbies’ (using air quotes)”
“The bills get paid, that’s all you need to know.”
What do you do? “It’s complicated.”
So what do you do all day then? “It’s complicated.”
It doesn’t matter what you say, but just answering the question directly isn’t going to increase her attraction to you or make you sound any more mysterious.
Awesome post, I’ve learned it too, I live in an apartment in the building my family owns above our shop and its basically a storage unit besides my room a bath room and the kitchen, I bring girls here all the time and even though I think its disgusting none of them care.
I’ve gotta show this post to a buddy of mine who refuses to talk to girls thinking they wont fuck him in his parents basement.
alas, nothing will continue unabated. things that can’t last forever, won’t.
Roosh said :
No other period in human history has been more sexually tilted towards men than the time we live in now.
Well… not for all men.
Top guys are drowning in pussy, yes.
But the bottom two-thirds are getting little to none.
Asian guys, due to inherent introversion, are not getting much. Game is not easy for an introverted person to learn.
Roosh – you must write more about why there is a huge variance in the rate at which guys learn to practice Game. Some get it right away, others struggle for years and still can’t manage to get results.
Also, while MRA greatly overstate the risk of a false rape charge if she has ‘regrets’ three weeks later, it does occasionally happen, and it is unethical to advise guys that this risk should be ignored…
[...] Roosh – “Slave to the Flag“, “Getting Laid While Unemployed and Living in Your Dad’s Basement” [...]
The year I spent unemployed, working as an angry environmental activist, was the single greatest year of pussy in my life. Women literally fell from the sky like rain, most of them stuck up career bitches who drove fancy cars. My crappy old beetle full of anti-corporate propoganda and enviro-terrorist equipment made them rip off their power suits and grovel at my feet like whipped she-bitches.
Look guys, Roosh keeps saying this…get the point! Feminists *hate* themselves, there is nothing they want more than to be degraded. The dirtier, meaner, and more dishonest you are, the more that they will grovel at your feet. The only danger is that you will eventually come to despise them, which in my case, happened rather quickly.
So fuck them in anger, fuck them in disgust, and then boot them as quickly as possible into the mud where they belong.
If you understand the game, it doesn’t make any difference. Got laid whether I was working or not (and when I was single I took a great deal of time off from my so-called career).
If you don’t care and make a thing about it, they won’t either. In “beast of prey” think you are looking to hunt and kill (have sex), not make a pet of them.
@50…I haven’t learned how to do that yet. The whole fuck in anger or disgust thing. I wish I could, but once I have those kinds of feelings for a woman, I can’t touch her. I don’t want to see her or hear her voice. But point taken…HA HA!
[...] Getting Laid While Unemployed And Living In Your Dad’s Basement: The other irony of game is that the unemployed guy will bang the girl faster than the employed guy. When you don’t hit any of her provider buttons, there is no point for her in waiting to bang you since it’s not like you’re going to take her out to dinner (or anywhere else for that matter). As long as she is attracted to you, your chance of a one-night stand is high. Plus your blunt and self-deprecation made her horny, since no other guy has gone out of his way to not impress her, forcing her to subconsciously conclude that you are indeed a high-value male. But if you go on and on about your important job, raising the prospect that she may get some freebies out of you, she will not give you the one-night stand and you’ll be the chump working for the pussy when I fucked it without any effort. [...]
i banged as many chicks living at home with my mom for nearly 2 years as i did either of the times i had my own place/with roommates, actually, probably more.
i don’t know why, and it doesn’t truly matter. the key is in recognizing the truth for what it is. that the things most guys think matter…..don’t.
“the key is in recognizing the truth for what it is. that the things most guys think matter…..don’t.”
This is spot on. I’ve been on both sides of the equation, living in a nice pad w/a nice car and driving a beat while living with my parents and while there are a few girls who wont date you when you live w/mom and dad there are plenty more that find it attractive if you spin it right. In fact, you’d be surprised how long you can go w/o a girl even knowing where you live and who you live with. Think of it this way – if you met a girl you liked and wanted to spend time with or bang would you not do so because she was living w/her parents? Probably not, and she feels that way also
I´m from the real world. None of this happened. Getting laid living in your dads basement. Thats a good one…
There are a lot of good reasons to make a lot of money. I like having money for a lot of reasons other than getting laid. I agree that you shouldn’t go after money just to impress people or girls, but a lot of people are not doing it for that reason. And money doesn’t hurt at all with girls as long as you are not trying to cover up your insecurities with money. You can also bang so called “non-pros” or “half hookers” if you so desire.
Okay, but what if you have the chance to get a big place with an acre of land and a private pool? What’s the best way to use it, and how much will it help?
All pickup forums are full of unemployed and poor guys, and hardly any guys with good cashflow. That tells me money matters.
This is all great stuff. I am reading and going “thats exactly what I do without realizing it, no wonder I get girls all the time”. you broke it down into a science. After reading this I realize I get girls because I have been a shallow asshole all along without even knowing…go figure
It doesn’t matter if you live with your parents. It matters if they are cool with you bringing sluts home. When you got a mom that rolls with the bible you can imagine fucking a bitch in your room is next to impossible. I finally landed a job that can pay the bills and will be finding a place right next to the college campus and bar scene. I will pay the whore tax as my success will increase 10 fold.
This is so true, I have been unemployed by choice for 7 months (corporate job hated it)
I do live by myself though, my family lives 3000 miles away or I would be in my dad’s basement.
So I show up to happy hours with friends in suits, I am in shorts and sandals.
women ask me what I do, I tell them nothing at all. Silence sure LOL
Then I say you know I did the cube gig for 12 years I want to do something I love, I am looking into buying a doggie daycare!!!! You can imagine every women their goes “oh my god that is so sweet”
Yup it works great.
Girls don’t mind having a quick short term bang with an unemployed guy who is hot. But they will NOT be having a relationship with them. Sorry guys. Read the article.
Roosh, perhaps this is why you are not in a serious relationship. All this talk of loving your single ONS life sounds like to me: “Me think thou dost protest too much”.
this sounds like you made it up, pics or it didnt happen.
>organic farmer or seal hunter
Hehe laughed too much for my own good
Does this post (getting laid while unemployed and living with your dad) hold true in EE?
I don’t mean for getting gf’s, i mean for getting laid.