Girls Are So Naive

I was at some late-night restaurant shithole with a girl. We were at a booth but I was sitting next to her, hinting to the masses that we are probably not brother and sister.

Our food came (I got falafel) and I started eating when a random guy I’ve never seen before came up to our table. I tilted my head up to see what the fuck this guy could possibly want. He looked at me with a gigantic smile and said, “Where are you from?” There is an unspoken rule that you do not disturb a man and his bitch when food is on the table.

I said, “You see we’re eating right?”

He is still smiling. “Yeah but your face. I, uh, was just curious.”

We’re busy.”

He walks away and I continue my falafel meal. My casual lady partner gives me a typical chick response: “Oh my God you are such a jerk, he was just being nice.”

“He wanted to fuck you,” I said.

“What?!! No you are so wrong, blah blah blah blah blah blah.”

This guy then does the same thing to the next table where there was one girl and three guys. Fifteen minutes later, he is having a one-on-one conversation with the girl in a different language while the guys sit there in silence, twiddling their thumbs.

The waitress drops our check and I ask her who the guy is. “Oh him, he’s the busboy.”

bus·boy noun
Minimum-wage restaurant helper whose job rounds out the bottom of a capitalist economy’s totem pole

A busboy with stains on his shirt bitched out three yuppie betas whose clothing is worth more than his monthly salary. This is the most incredible moment of game that I have ever witnessed in my life. If you can not neutralize a busboy (granted, the ballsiest busboy in the world), a person whose job is to pick up after you, why are you still alive?

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  • AH

    There is a lesson in there for all of us.

  • virglekent

    This would never happen to a black man….EVER

    I’ve stabbed people for less…. WAY less

  • Jay Gatsby

    So what happened afterwards? How did your date respond to the revelation about the busboy?

  • mm

    Us females cannot resist a sexy busboy.

  • Days of Broken Arrows

    Good one! MM is right — females are often inexplicably drawn to busboys. Our society is now the inverse of what it was circa 1957 — women chase the men with the worst jobs not the best.

    I’m surprised, though, you didn’t address the offensiveness of his question. It’s America, and we’re all from somewhere else. People piss me off with this. When they ask about my ethnic background, I tell them the truth, that I grew up on burgers, Beach Boys, and baseball.

  • Jay Gatsby

    “Oh my God you are such a jerk, he was just being nice.”

    TRANSLATION: “You’re such a jerk for chasing him away. I was enjoying the attention, and you ruined a chance for me to see if you would get jealous.”

    If she didn’t want the busboy’s attention, SHE would have been the one to tell him to get lost. The fact that she didn’t, and how she reacted to Roosh’s decision to chase him off, indicates that she enjoyed the competition for her attention.

  • Roissy

    that’s one translation.

    depending on the flash in her eyes, another translation could be:

    “omg, you are such a jerk for triggering my loinlust for displays of male dominance that i’m secretly so wet my labia are making bubble noises.”

    had roosh snapped at a service worker beta being properly humble and knowing his place, then the girl’s indignant reaction could have been taken at face value.

  • Roosh

    After I pointed out that the busboy was giving 98% of his attention to the girl in the next table, my date admitted I was “probably” right.

    Her initial objection didn’t seem entirely sincere to me. It felt as if a part of her liked the way I dispatched with the help.

  • Jay Gatsby

    Then it sounds like you passed her little “test”, but she wasn’t going to admit it. Based on this new information, Roissy’s comment is the better translation.

  • Consul-At-Arms

    “Yeah but your face.”

    I mean, WTF is with that lame-oh line?

    Which of you did he want to scrag, or were you just his hook to the girl?

    Ballsy, I’ll give him that.

  • Jewcano

    3 dudes and a chick already means that, at best, two of them are losers that are cockblocking the third. Ass-kicking risk aside, the girl was easier pickings than yours anyway.

    I’m with Virgle. Dude probably already Fight Clubbed your food anyway. Someone should have fed him the floor. And Gatsby’s right about the chick. I hope you guys went Dutch.

  • shmooth

    yes, girls are naive. that’s weird, too, b/c by the time they reach 15 they’ve been scammed on 1,000 times already. yet, they continue to be gullible about that stuff until they’re 35.

    the whole ‘foreign language’ hit job can be tough to stop – so you did a good job, here. not talking about the foreign language thing once the dude has already taken over, but the deliberately-ambiguous questions/statements a foreign-looking/sounding dude makes to arouse interest in your lady friend, but not outright hostility in you – simple power move – old trick. tries to get you to doubt if you’re imagining stuff.

    i had a tough situ once that caught me off-guard. a bartender in kansas city was talking about ‘sex on the beach’ and all that – me and my girl and free shots (which we drank, and probably had no liquor). sometimes dudes are gonna be ***** – you gotta know when to not get excited, which is about most of the time.

    i’ve used that situation as a test for my girl, too, and it can definitely help you determine some things. but, ymmv.

    p.s. cali weather was insane this weekend, and it continues with DST today. nice.

    check out matt & kim:

  • Consul-At-Arms

    “3 dudes and a chick already means that, at best, two of them are losers that are cockblocking the third.”

    I had the same thoughts on that one, Jewcano. And that’s probably exactly how busboy evaluated the tactical situation as well.

  • irina

    i think most of us just don’t get how ridiculous men’s attempts to try to get some can be. like, we refuse so believe that these idiotic gestures are for real. how can they be?!

  • Jay Gatsby

    Irina — all a woman needs “to get some” is be open to the approach of a man with whom she wants to have sex. I find it absolutely ridiculous that many women view a man’s approach as essentially a spectator sport, belittling his efforts despite the courage that it takes to approach a complete stranger with the idea of ultimately having sex with her.

    Put simply, women KNOW who they’re going to sleep with and who they aren’t. Men don’t.

  • itscool

    Wow. Do you really feel that threatened by a bus boy? Don’t you have a trust in your game? I don’t have a game or anything but at the same time I would not have been that threatened by a bus boy, or any man for that matter.

  • itscool

    It’s the feminism at its worse. In today’s singles market there are more women who are well off financially and otherwise then men. But instead of truly believing in the feminism and may be giving the poop guys a chance they are hell bent on finding the “perfect” man. That’s the main problem with women in general and more so for American women. I know quite a large number of these women are going to so disappointed. I feel sorry for them.

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  • Anonymous

    omg this is such a crappy blog…..what kinda useless ppl wud have time to write stuff like this..

  • Thomas

    #10 Consul at arms
    “Yeah but your face”

    I think that line was a result of him being surprised that things were not going to plan.

    On the other hand, it was his poor attempt to keep Roosh’s attention on him as opposed to Roosh’s “bitch”

  • http://hotmail bobba

    this will never happen not to fucking black guy,u should say never ever will happen to muslim man with his wife or sister,he will kill all

  • Flo

    Well, I was one of these naive girls. Lucky for me, it did not take me until I was 35 to get a clue. Unfortunately my friends haven’t.

    I think most girls are taught to be naive. Parents think by just telling them “boys are bad” that it’s enough, but it’s not. They think by being super protective they’re doing them a favor, but they often make the situation worse for girls, especially if the father is absent.

    If you have no male role models or male friends, how are you suppose to know what guys are like unless someone told you? Seriously?

    It’s like they were teaching women to be stupid.

  • Mysogony

    I can’t believe the busboy had balls to openly try to move in on your girl. Damn bitch move, this is worse than a female who cockblocks!!!!

  • matt

    Naive until they’re 35? I’m 45 years old and currently dating four different women. Good news for you young guys, Girls are naive their whole lives.

  • Jonathan Manor

    This is funny because i’m a busboy. I do think I need the balls to tell off strangers more often. I tend to on a regular basis, but I.need to be more blunt about it

  • Anonymous

    Yall are hilarious. When women look for rich, high-status dudes you ridicule them for their delusion of “landing a 200-250k+ a year man” and insult them for being gold diggers instead of being willing to fuck/date you. When you see women giving attention and affection to poor, low-status dudes, you become bewildered and aghast that a woman is willing to fuck/date someone “beneath you.” It’s painfully obvious that you’re actually just angry at any woman who isn’t interested in fucking you. “Put simply, women KNOW who they’re going to sleep with and who they aren’t. Men don’t.” The outrage!

    By the way, I’m a woman (I’m sure you couldn’t tell), and I definitely have a gray area when it comes to fucking. I’ve gone on dates with guys that I wasn’t super enthusiastic about fucking, but knew that I probably would if the date went well enough. Some of those dates ended early, others ended over breakfast. Yes, you could probably still argue that I was in control of which ending the date had, but it’s not so cut-and-dry as to say we just know who we’ll fuck and who we won’t. I mean, there’s a reason you’re always trying to get girls drunk and game them–because you know we can be influenced to change our minds.

  • madmax

    Anonymous 27, shut the fuck up.

    Roosh, well done man. You always seem aware of when someone is giving you some shit, either woman or man.

  • hohoho

    im picturing a black busboy
    what race was he?

  • madmax

    girls don’t understand shit…..let alone girls understanding men

  • Anonymous

    It’s obvious that the busboy is gay. He was hitting on you. When he started talking to the girl in another language, he was asking about the guys.

    Your social skills are way off.

  • Anonymous

    Gay? Really?

  • Anonymous

    He isn’t criticizing the chicks, he is criticizing the dudes for letting a busboy steal their thunder

  • Driver

    I could really care who it was at that point. Even if we were friends, the guy should have just said ‘hey’, waved and kept walking. He knows the rules.

    This guy (busboy) was either pulling a stunt or was going full retard. Either way, show him the door…if he doesn’t know the way out.