I’m nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there’s a pair of us—don’t tell!
They’d banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

—The deranged Emily Dickinson

If a girl tells you she writes poetry, or God-forbid she actually tries to recite you some of her poetry, run. Run hard and run fast because she is dramatic and unstable. Poetry is a form of ambiguous, obtuse communication, and a girl who takes to creating it is one that will be especially unable to serve a man’s principal need of easygoing, drama-free companionship. The most damaged and insane girls I’ve met have considered themselves budding poets. You were warned.

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what about girls who write prose?

I’ll do you one better. ANYONE who considers themselves a poet should be avoided like the plague.

EVERY girl has written poetry at some point or other.

a_c’s last blog post: Just the science?.

Did one stab you last night? Or try to?

I remember in the early days of AOL, I met a girl in a chat room who had a cute pic. We started IMing, and she insisted I take a look at her many poems, which she cut and pasted.

My response to her proto-emo woe-is-me crap?

“lol.”

each and every stripper i dated wrote poetry…anthologies of the stuff.

Benedict Smith’s last blog post: St. Patrick’s Day and the absence of gold @ the end of the rainbow.

Fun fact – Emily Dickinson was a life-long virgin.

women can’t write shit. it’s all whiny, suicidal crap. They’re Irish Poets without the charm and interest of booze-fueled anger; women’s anger is ovarian. The minority bitches like Maya Angelou are popular because it’s PC.

It’s all depressing, boo-hoo crap. Bronte sisters. Sylvia Plath blah blah. Pseudo literature like Gone With the Wind and My Secret Garden.

Leave them to bodice-rippers and bjs.

duh. whenever a quote or a poem can define someone’s life, that makes them instantly boring.

Agreed on *writes* poetry being the key word – I know former poetesses who are happy and stable and fantastic, but if you ask them about their poetry, they roll their eyes, wave it off, and refuse to share.

I have to say male poets are also to be avoided at all costs. In addition to the traits you outline for women, then also possess an extraordinary level of self-infatuation that can at first mask the other traits… terrible mess.

only lame white chix write poesy. sistas rap about lil kims brazilian and Dancing Wit Da Stas

AMEN

I never enjoyed poetry…………at all. A short story is the briefest form of literature that I ever got any enjoyment out of. Rhyming words is for song.

Firepower,

Flannery O’Connor was a great writer.

perhaps, but still debatable

one female writer out of half the world’s population that’s ever been is by definition, an exception

good point

omg, so on point. Dated a girl briefly who kept telling me she was a future United States Poet Laureate. A little crazy, definitely fucked up, poor conversationalist. didnt shave either.

a poetry/spoken word slam is what i imagine hell to look like. so many douchebags.

I used to have to work in a hall in college that rented rooms. I also had the shitty Friday night shift.

So there was a poetry slam group on campus. Every Friday, I had to hear that crap. From the typical sources: feminist bitches, skanks, unshaven hippies, black kids who think because they’re black they’re deep, and, of course, protester types.

All very loud. All cheered each other like they were Nazis cheering the second coming of fucking Hitler.

People, randomingly throwing out phrases about “peace” and “light” and “racism” does not a poet make, no matter how loud you yell it and no matter how many claps the audience gives you.

Come to think of it, a few musicians should hear that as well.

this chick especially should be avoided. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTLDb-flVNE

This is 100% TRUE. You better listen to this man!

Yo, that’s why I always swoop fly girls before they finish the poem, innit? If you’re wearing your Armani suits (never just one, how plebeian) you can pull it and jet off to Monaco on the same night to gulp red wine and play 21.

Run hard and run fast because she is dramatic and unstable

I feel so guilty for laughing. This is a somewhat true stereotype and the same rule applies for men. Male poets are some of the world’s biggest hoes. The left brained weasels will talk a weak willed woman out of her draws in 5 seconds flat.

To give them their due, from the stories I’ve heard some are very talented*wink wink* in the art of love. That’s why spoken work poets frequently have rows of groupies at their readings.

Chic Noir’s last blog post: Self-Reliance.

J Pamphlet has become the G manifesto.

Chic Noir’s last blog post: Self-Reliance.

J Pamphlet is my hero.

lurker is 100% correct.

All the Jareds and Brittneys write in the style of their educational training. Everybody gets a ribbon and applause – especially those in 35th place.

The Rasheeds and Tayshawnas get that, plus free f00d and rent for themselves and their as of yet unborn 13 new siblings.

“There once was a man from Nantucket…”

“Male poets are some of the world’s biggest hoes. The left brained weasels will talk a weak willed woman out of her draws in 5 seconds flat.”

—Chic Noir, a straight man is not a hoe. He is a stud. I know that hurts your wittle feminist brain, but reality often does.

Peace out, hoe bag!

P.S. a poet would be right-brained chic, because the right side of the brain is the creative/artistic side.

chic can only think logically after she’s put on her eye shadow.

…and her Malcomette X hoodie

All true, but there’s a more basic reason: Poetry sucks, with almost no exceptions.

On another note. Here’s some paparazzi pics of Russell Brand’s ’30 minute seduction’ of a girl here in Australia.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/glance/788765/russell-brand-seduces-aussie-girl

Your thoughts?

I remember only 2 chances where girls were trying to write poetry and showed me their shit.

OMG, it was atrocious.

Not all poetry is bad, though. Although I do prefer prose, some poets can be really good. I think Blake kicks ass in the English language.
And some Brazilian poets from the early XX century too.

Well said, lurker, musicians should be watched carefully too, but only when they try to make their own lyrics, because that’s poetry as well.

Eid-et mobarak, Roosh ;)

i struck up a conversation with a hipster chick at a house party a few months ago…she didn’t display her hipster streak with mere poetry, instead she gave me a little sampling of a track off her upcoming “album”. girls who record hipster-ish music are much worse than poetry writers.

Chuck’s last blog post: Bar Bathroom Lines.

E se for sobre sexo?

lonely lurker said Chic Noir, a straight man is not a hoe. He is a stud
Since you are neither, what difference does it make to you.

P.S. Give your left hand a break, otherwise you may develop carpel tunnel.

Chic Noir’s last blog post: The Hows and Whys of Our Car Purchase: A 2009 Toyota Prius.

misspelling shows childlike vulnerability – it gets me hot

I wish someone had told me this 3 years ago before I got heavily involved in a chick that is currently enrolled in grad school specializing in: POETRY. AHHHHHHHH

grad school students of nearly any stripe are unbearable. poetry, or god-forbid ethnomusicologists. sitting at a party listening to some chick prattle on about the memes of authorship in jim o’rourke’s remasterings of yankee hotel foxtrot is a horrible situation to be in.

finefantastic’s last blog post: Angsty; or didn’t I do this already?.

hoodrats get
carpel tunnel

hamptonites get carpal

what happens to a dream
deferred?

Girls that writes poetry are emo bitches that think they’re on some plane of existence that no one else can possibly understand.

They’re good for a bang, but that’s all. Give her some more shit to write poetry about.