Girls Who Write Poetry

I’m nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there’s a pair of us—don’t tell!
They’d banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

—The deranged Emily Dickinson

If a girl tells you she writes poetry, or God-forbid she actually tries to recite you some of her poetry, run. Run hard and run fast because she is dramatic and unstable. Poetry is a form of ambiguous, obtuse communication, and a girl who takes to creating it is one that will be especially unable to serve a man’s principal need of easygoing, drama-free companionship. The most damaged and insane girls I’ve met have considered themselves budding poets. You were warned.

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