Going Out Alone

Approaching girls here is less automatic and fun than it is at home. Regardless of how much alcohol is in me, it just doesn’t feel the same. It’s almost like a chore.

Like any other complicated skill, approaching is very mood based. The better mood you are in, the more social you feel, the more likely you will not only approach but approach well. This is why in Bang I wrote to get yourself in a room with girls if your state is especially great. For most guys feeling confident and looking good increases the chance of the approach, but I’m learning there are other factors as well. Two big ones:

1. Wingman. The best nights I’ve had on this trip was when I went out with a cool guy. He doesn’t have to be good looking but he has to be funny, smiley, reasonably dressed, and most importantly, a flirt. Most of the guys here have zero game so with their hiking boots they feel like mannequins for a generic hiking company. Plus, wingmen actually serve as emotional support so you can laugh off the rejections and keep pushing without getting frustrated or upset (“Damn what’s her problem—hey check out that girl over there!”).

2. Music. Music is great at putting you in a good mood, but if you don’t like it then it has the opposite effect. I can’t tell you how much I hate salsa music and the salsa / house hybrid that goes along with it. I just stand there, waiting for it to change, but even a a good 15-minute set of music I like does not do much for me in a 4-hour night. I like reggaeton though (I think I’m the only white person who does).

The reason I go out alone is because I refuse to go to bed early just to avoid feeling uncomfortable. My nighttime options shouldn’t be determined by anyone but myself. If you find yourself having to go out alone, the best thing you can do is to make friends with a group as soon as you get in. They will serve as your comfortable home base. If not then you will enter anti-social mode and the alcohol you drink will just make it worse.

I’m in some mediocre club alone holding a can of warm Quilmes beer. It’s a tough crowd and the salsa will not end. I’m leaning against the bar, not having talked to anyone except the bartender for 45 minutes. But I see a few cute girls. I just have to ask myself one question: do I want to get some or not? If not I’ll leave and stop wasting my time, my liver. Otherwise I go to that group of five girls, with one very nice brunette, yell “Hola” loud enough to cut through the shit that is playing and ask if they speak English. Either I suck it up and work with what I got or go jerk off on the hostel toilet.

This is going to be so easy once I get back home.

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  • virglekent

    Damn son, You might not wan to read the post I’m planning for Thursday…..

    DC has been a cake walk, girls have been aggressive as of late…

  • http://my-gournal.blogspot.com gn

    I have a white friend who LOVES reggaeton. There are two of you.

  • http://www.kassyk.wordpress.com KassyK

    I love Reggaeton.

    I bet you are getting your fill of Daddy Yankee. Or is that more central America…hmmm

  • eugenius

    Postcard got here…..stay strong brother….

    When you get to where you need to be (any more details on timeframe?) set up camp. Get settled, work up the connections, …. Look at it as your vacation from your vacation.

  • vb

    how is argentina?

  • Generate

    Keep your head up…..and wrapped.

  • http://nullp0inter.wordpress.com Nullpointer

    Kassyk: Daddy Yankee is boricua (Puerto Rico).

    Call a Chilean in America a Mexican, and see what happens.

  • Sudamericana

    Why are you going to places that play salsa only?? I am not sure about Salta, but in Buenos Aires those which are considered to be the coolest places DO NOT play salsa AT ALL. I would love them to, because I love to dance that sort of stuff, but whenever I am there, I have to spend the whole night listening to electronic music. I danced much more salsa during my years in DC and in Oxford than in BA! Then again, girls in the cooler spots tend to be much less bang-able that in the salsa places. Particularly portenas, who have a reputation of being hard to get. Argentine men have developed smooth game tactics over the years in response. I look forward to hear how your skills compare to their charms…

  • http://www.volette.com Joe T.

    Roosh, I’m surprised that you hate salsa but love that shit reggaeton. I’ve lived in Puerto Rico, and these two types of music are polar opposites in terms of the quality of the music and performers, and the people who listen to them. You’ve GOT to be kidding… Reggaeton can hardly be called a real genre of music — it is the most shallow and derivative thing I’ve ever heard. If “Daddy Yankee” ever comes peddling that noise he calls music ’round DC way, please, somebody, get out the butterfly nets and the van and haul his Yankee’s-cap, gold chains wearin’ ass off to St. E’s. That “music” is FOUL.

  • Sudamericana

    I bet that, besides proper salsa, you must be hearing a lot of Argentine “cumbia” and “cuarteto”… and you must be hating them even more!

  • inSOMnia

    The lone wolf is good. They can attack without being tied down. I got the cactii. Nothing beats the llama’s though. That was the best two minutes of my life

  • http://www.volette.com Joe T.

    Sudamerica, isn’t cumbia from Colombia?

  • http://www.kassyk.wordpress.com KassyK

    Nullpointer–I know hes from PR but I was not sure if they play more reggeaton in central or south america. Like I wrote in my comment…I think its more central america…no intention of offending anyone.

    Joe T-And I love salsa and reggeaton. And rap. And indie rock. And folk. And trip hop. And classic rock. Music is not exclusive to one kind of person. Just saying.

  • lion

    Man, you need to hit Buenos Aires.

  • Sudamericana

    Joe T.,

    Argentine cumbia is not the proper Latin American cumbia orginated in Colombia. In Argentina it is more of a hybrid. More recently, “cumbia villera” (translation: cumbia from the slums) has also become popular, mainly dealing with topics related to drugs, crime, the police, and sex.

  • http://www.volette.com Joe T.

    KassyK – I occasionally go to Nicaragua for business. Only very minimal signs of reggaeton-like music down there. On the other hand, there is a lot of real, live authentic REGGAE music, originating from the east coast of Nicaragua where there are significant populations of English-speaking people with Afro-Caribbean roots… yes, dreadlock-wearing rastamen in Nicaragua. There was even a reggae band from the east coast town of Bluefields, playing at one hotel where I was staying at in Managua. There’s also a group of people called the Garifuna, descended from people who escaped from slave boats off of the island of St. Vincent in the eastern Caribbean, and were resettled by the British along the E. coast of Central America.

  • Land-Man

    “Call a Chilean in America a Mexican, and see what happens.”

    He’ll mow my lawn?

  • http://www.volette.com Joe T.

    Sudamerica – thanks. Interesting about cumbia villera. Lately I’ve gotten into what may be the Russian Mafia’s version of that genre — with the emphasis on drugs, crime, prison, gangs and police — so-called “Chanson” music. Chanson however could never gain a serious foothold in the US, where fast-paced and shallow (like reggaeton) are considered good things, because chanson is slow, ballad-like, and not danceable. On the other hand it’s very soulful and even though I don’t understand the lyrics, impressive music. Just another consequence, I guess, in my pursuit of the perfect Russian babe…

  • roissy

    my pursuit of the perfect Russian babe…

    join the club.

    for a prime example, check out the barmaids at the russia house (dc).

  • http://www.kassyk.wordpress.com KassyK

    JoeT.–I love authentic reggae. But then again I also love beaches and pot so they tend to go hand in hand. :)

  • lion

    The perfect Russian babe?

    Spent too much time with Russian women not laugh at that one.

  • http://www.volette.com Joe T.

    lion – OK, the perfect Russkie babe does exist, and her name is Sharapova. All others are mere mortals.

  • lion

    Funny. One thing true about Russian women, they either love you or hate you, no in-between.

  • Pete


    I thought the whole point of this trip was to hook up with girls that are way more friendly than american chicks. Guess the grass isn’t always greener…

  • Daveed

    advice: learn to dance salsa and then everything becomes easier and cheaper, I have girls fighting to dance with me. And I don’t have to buy a single drink.

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