Should a man structure his life around comfort or around growth?
Comfort, principally in the form of poosy paradise, is very appealing to me. I want to settle in an environment where the sex is easy and low effort. I want to have liberal use of my free time and not be forced to work, lift weights, or study languages. I want to be able to make spontaneous plans, party every night, and generally pursue a hedonistic path without cause for worry about the future.
On the other hand, growth, in the form of hard work, is also appealing to me. I want to struggle in my efforts to get laid so that I learn more about seduction and human nature. I want to have a daily schedule busy with tasks that add value to my life and others. I want to exercise my brain and my body, as time consuming as it is. I want to fail more often than not to discover truths of the universe.
The problem with comfort is that over time there’s an atrophy of skill and ability. You start to forget what enabled you to experience comfort in the first place. The problem with growth is that you’re forever running on a treadmill, only intermittently enjoying your labor. I ache for both comfort and growth simultaneously, seesawing almost daily. If I have a tough night in the club, my mind starts thinking of booking a ticket to where poosy was easy. If I bang out a girl over a few days, emptying my balls, I start wishing for the excitement and variety of the game, of something new and different. If I write a new book, I’m ready for a hiatus where I can sit back for weeks, but just a couple of days into it, new ideas pop in my head and I can’t wait to get back to work.
The problem lies in the ability to easily change your environment. That bad night at the club, if I let it, could very well send me to an entirely new city. Therefore the question is not so much whether to choose growth or comfort, but impulse or restraint. Those who choose comfort are impulsive, unable to delay gratification, while those who choose growth are able to maintain this delay in the pursuit of long-term goals. Do you have a role model who chose a life of impulse? Did great men of the past choose impulse instead of continuous hard work?
I think it becomes obvious which is the correct path that enables you to be the best man you can be. Comfort should can be chosen after great success, but only temporarily, because comfort is weakness and growth is strength. A life of growth is the life of man.
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Both? It’s a balance?
Which tells us little or nothing. So you have to observe particular cases and experiences.
But yes, primarily growth. Look around at the flabby, soulless country that raised up the principle of ease, openness, access, and comfort.
Without taking it to monastic extremes, hard work and struggle carry their own inherent pleasures. And in turn they enhance the experience of comfort. A cold beer is one thing. A cold beer after intense training is another.
U should come to Louisville, KY..its a true possy paradise…
There was a study done on 4 year old children where they were seated in front of a cookie or something and told that if they could go a full 10 mins without consuming it, they’d be rewarded with a second cookie. They then followed up with the children for about 20 years and discovered that those who were patient and delayed gratification went on to be healthier and happier with better jobs etc…
I agree- growth and challenge is what keeps a man happy and strong. Learn new skills, travel and live life free.
Roosh, everything you write these days really makes me think. You’ve really taken yourself to the next level. I’d vote you in for President in a second.
One of my mottos: Shun excessive safety and comfort. They will only hold you back in life.
If a man wants success in any worthwhile endeavor, they should only expect the minimum amount of comfort getting there.
This applies to everything — work, exercise, game, etc.
Human beings are very adaptable creatures – sometimes at their own peril. What I mean is that we all get used to a certain level of comfort and success. Ask lottery winners – after the initial high wears off they often find themselves as miserable as before (sometimes broke again) and with a whole set of new problems.
The truth about happiness is that it is not a destination – it’s a process. You need to produce your own happiness, you need to nourish it. And like it or not – you will not appreciate anything you didn’t earn. That new car, that new condo, the new hot chick you are banging. If it’s too effortless then you won’t value it and you will piss it away in the end. That’s what often happens with famous folks who get it all and wind up with nothing because they are unable to appreciate what they have/had. From the outside they look completely off the mark but they are as human as you are.
Embrace the pain. Challenge yourself – become a though ass cunt and put your mind and body through the wringer every single day. Speak three languages? Study a fourth one! Are you in great shape? You can do better! Start building from wherever you are. The sky is your limit – just imagine the person you want to be five years from now and then start working toward that goal.
Life is a bitch and then we all die. Appreciate every single day above ground in this exciting world you were lucky to be born into. Because odds are 200 years ago you would have been long dead due to blood poisoning caused by a broken tooth or a staph infection. People withered away in the prime of their life over nothing back in the days. Put yourself into context of all things, read books, learn about everything. Question everything. How anyone can ever say ‘I’m done’ escapes me.
Follow the above and you will NEVER be bored. You WILL find happiness. And whatever you gain – NEVER take it for granted.
There is a 3rd option which is acceptance of the Now. To do this you have to unburden yourself from the artificial strains society has pushed on us. And perhaps live in a place where its easier to survive (such as Hawaii) or find a career that is low stress. In the Now, you can learn to be happy with whatever rate of change is currently in your life, and even rate of pussy. You still may pursuit pussy but you find that there is a deeper state that you are training for “present moment happiness”. And it definitely helps your game… :)
Get that word “comfort” out of your vocabulary, and that goes for EVERYONE!!!
My friend’s from high school who like “comfort” all got married and fat, and now they want to kill themselves…
Also a coworker got laid off yesterday after 12 years because he was “comfortable”.
Never give up, and keep pushing!! Or at least until you turn 80
I find I can cave a little more to impulses in the summer, must be linked to heat and fatigue and the fact that every second girl I meet is going on holidays in 2 days from my approach. Somedays fighting resistance and impulses is a minute by minute fight.
@2 “U should come to Louisville, KY..its a true possy paradise…”
Can you define your concept of “possy paradise”???, maybe we should be more or less on the same page about what that means … Is it a city with a lot of pretty girls to watch? … Is it banging a different girl every 2 months, every week, every 3-4 days (I would pick this one)… For sure this “possy paradise” concept is different for everyone, so using the term loosely could be very misleading!! … thoughts? …
Why don’t you go check this French guy out? He’s hot and super successful with girls (and at giving advices on how to pick them)
One of your best posts! Funny your opening paragraph.. altered to woman’s view:
“Comfort, principally in the form of dick paradise, is very appealing to me. I want to settle in an environment where the sex is easy and low effort. I want to have liberal use of my free time and not be forced to work, exercise, or study languages. I want to be able to make spontaneous plans, party every night, and generally pursue a hedonistic path without cause for worry about the future.”
Sounds like the quintessential American lizard
Difference between man and woman: Woman chosez comfort over growth 99.99% of the time, man choses comfort of growth 80% of the time
comfort or growth. however, bot are purely subjective.
i believe the reward for growth IS comfort. so i always want to keep evolving. be Zarathustra, always seek to suprass your best.
when you quit growing, the only thing left is stagnation. fuck that. i practice Krav Maga. i’m ok, but i’m not going to be satisfied until i get GOOD. i bow hunt, and i’m ALWAYS at the range dropping an arrow at 40-50 yards.
Hi, man. The more I read your books the more I enjoy and learn. something previously invisible from my perspective become clear and fascinating.
It feels like u turn part of my potato head in to a walnut lobe:)
Its great to be able to keep balance btw fun and hard-work!Unfortunately only few of us can manage that!But the key words in this article is that “become sucessufull and then you can have your fun without any guilty feelings!”
I used to be A student and hard working business Lady till my 30ties.Now Im unemployed and travellin the World in a search of Fun and Pleasures(Roosh style).Its been 3 years and I cant stop, and by seing pple my age getting worried about daily problems at work or in their families make me smile in a thought of my right choices…However, I would love to have some balance and wish that for everyone!
Another thought that crossed my mind and I would love to discuss in Roosh forum with all of you guys!
Since we are all here for one reason to get laid fast and easy I wonder , if pple like us will ever change?!Will we be able to change our role -model in our heads and find someone to love and create a family or will keep living in our “poosy and dicks Paradise” forever?!
I accured to me that Ive been attracted only to the Type of guys which want nothing but Fun and Sex!
This is going to be difficult to here. But you need to hear it. You are a woman. Women are great, but they are different. You have squandered your youth in return for free no-consequence sex with guys who value you only for a quick relationship and nothing more. Since you made that choice you have to now drastically lower your standards and make a family with a guy who is much lower value than you could of gotten when you were younger. The key is Marusya, high value guys will still fuck you, but if you want to have a family you have to LOWER your standards.
That’s what the feminists never told you…the price of being a young slut when your young…
The USA got comfortable…
This post is spot on.
I am married and over 40 (thus the handle – red pill too late). In the last month, I have started to learn the guitar (no real musical background or aptitude) and wrote my first android app.
Struggling to do these things has jump started other areas of my life such as work and fitness.
My wife is even starting to respond to it in a positive way. She wastes her time on a damn iphone / facebook, and I build something or learn a new skill. Even if she did not respond at all, I feel my mind sharpening, my will strengthening and my outlook changing for the better.
Seek to learn something outside your comfort zone. You will be a better man for it. And this is definitely the realm of men – women have no desire for it.
Man can only be content when he pursuing a new skill or ability. To sit in place is death. Seek new challenges, grown, learn and repeat. This is what it is to be a man.
[...] Growth vs. comfort. [...]
I prefer growth. I think growth and comfort are opposites as it’s very hard to achieve growth while being in the comfort zone, and it’s also hard to be comfortable in growth..
Are they really opposites? Growth may equal success, but comfort equals survival. How can there be success without survival?