He Who Hesitates, Masturbates

I patiently waited to order a drink behind another customer. I was looking around for talent when I saw a gorgeous brunette slide up to my left, also wanting to order a drink. She gave me eye contact then slowly opened her purse to fetch her credit card. She had trouble finding it. I wondered if I should approach her or not. I kept trying to fish for more eye contact to be absolutely sure I wasn’t going to be rejected.

At the same time, I noticed a bearded foreigner leaning against the bar. He was anxiously looking around, especially at me. For a second I thought he was gay. Thankfully he was out of position behind a screen of bodies.

The girl stood next to me for another minute or two. I looked at her some more and she glanced at me one more time, but I didn’t approach because it didn’t seem that she was definitely interested. A spot at the bar opened up and she stepped forward, putting her right next to the bearded man. After she got her drink, he tapped her on the shoulder three times and said something I couldn’t hear. One hour later I saw him kissing her upstairs on a couch.

I was leaning against the bar in a loud Estonian club. It was ladies night and with that came a solid 1:1 ratio of females to males. I could sense the favorable ratio with the increased eye contact I was getting from women. I was feeling good about the night even though the music was intolerably loud.

A girl I had been checking out for the past hour finally got up from a table she shared with her girlfriend and walked to the bar. She stopped right next to a good-looking man. I cringed when I saw her give him eye contact before rummaging through her purse. I was blocked by a group of people and couldn’t access her. My position was hopeless. I prayed that the guy wouldn’t approach because if he did I knew she would give a favorable response.

I stared at the man intently, trying to will him not to approach. He looked at her constantly while she continued to go through her purse. All I needed was for the customers at the bar nearest me to pay for their drinks and move so that my position could improve at his expense.

After a couple minutes of them standing side by side, the crowd finally shifted and she walked up to a free spot in the bar, directly next to me. After she got her drink, I tapped her on the shoulder three times and started talking. She was receptive and eventually invited me to join her and her friend. After some time chatting, her friend dropped out and we went upstairs to sit on a couch. We kissed there. At the end of the night she agreed to come back to my apartment.

I wouldn’t have been worried if my opponent guy was an average guy, but he was attractive and nicely dressed. Thankfully for me, he was Estonian, meaning he could only approach a girl while drunk, which at the time he was not. If I was in America, it would have been automatic that I’d be out-played in that scenario, but thanks to this man’s fear of approaching, I snatched a girl up that, had I been in my own country, would have been approached a billion times that night before my opportunity came.

A big part of why foreign guys are successful with local women is not the fact that they’re foreign, but because they are more confident, more bold, and more interesting than the local guys who grow up in a less cutthroat environment than American men. The shit that we have to go through to get laid is so overkill that if anything we have tone down our game 50% so as not to overload a European girl’s brain. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t change my country of birth for any other. The tough environment of America has given me a killer instinct that allows me to do well just about anywhere else I go.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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  • Steven Lurkel

    Tell ’em, Roosh!

  • outlaw josey wales

    If the US is competitive, then DC is like Goku training in the hyper gravity chamber (or whatever it was). Practice in DC and your power level will be over 9000!

  • Old Glory

    True that.

  • Big John

    Love the way you turned it around in the intro. Had a nice ‘oh shit’ moment when I realized who was who.

  • the_alpha_male

    I’m from Toronto. I heard its the shittiest for picking up women and that is why so many game Guru’s hail from these parts.

    I personally think Toronto is great and just don’t see what all the fuss is about.

  • http://www.marvelousmanboobs.com/ David H. Fucktrelle-Male Feminist Extraordinaire™

    “He who hestitates…”

    prentty clever studdmuffin, howerer we all know you own one of these:


  • http://rationalist2012.blogspot.com The Rationalist

    Agreed. I don’t understand why so many people on your forum say that America is the easiest place to get laid and the girls are the sluttiest.

  • dragnet

    “A big part of why foreign guys are successful with local women is not the fact that they’re foreign, but because they are more confident, more bold, and more interesting than the local guys who grow up in a less cutthroat environment than American men.”

    Yes and no. The other reason local guys are more hesistant is because they have to deal with the fallout and reputation risk if things go badly with the approach. Foreign guys have absolutely nothing at stake—a massive psychological advantage.

    This is no doubt even more the case in tiny countries like Iceland or Estonia where there really is no such thing as true anonymity.

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    The Rationalist –

    “Agreed. I don’t understand why so many people on your forum say that America is the easiest place to get laid and the girls are the sluttiest.”

    Never been to Las Vegas I take it?

    – MPM

  • moop

    welcome to the jungle. I’m already fairly comfortable gaming here in America (albeit in target-rich environments like college campuses), so I’m excited to see what kind of ass I can pull when I finally get to travel.

  • Adam Michaels

    Far too many times I’ve been the first guy you described.

    Fortune favors the Bold

  • Anonymous

    DC is the absolute WORST. If you can learn to pick up girls in DC (with its entitled , bitchy , snarky liberal NGO monkeys), you will be okay anywhere the world over.

    I learned game in DC and was astonished at how easy things became in LA, New York, South America, etc.

  • http://www.aroundtheworldin80girls.com Neil Skywalker

    Too bad , i only went out a few hours n DC when i was there, i wonder if its really that hard. Better gaming next time.


  • http://petesgamethoughts Peter Phoenix

    Ha, you “funny like dinosaur”

  • Beowulf

    I’m a Danish guy and i’ve been to Estonia too. I got laid four times in two weeks. According to your theory about Denmark and our very un-cutthroat environment, I would’nt have been getting any while in Estonia. But I did. So how do you explain that?

    [Roosh: Experience of one anonymous Danish guy causes American blogger to change entire world view, renounce prior writings. Tune in at 11 on TV2.]

  • Mr. Pointyface

    One of the greatest, simplest, most practical and accurate aphorisms I’ve heard: It applies here–

    “If she makes eye contact twice, it’s not a mistake”

  • http://stagedreality.wordpress.com Leap of a Beta

    “If she makes eye contact twice, it’s not a mistake”

    Or even better:

    If she makes eye contact twice and finds an excuse to linger it is the closest thing you’ll get to her giving you flag signals and an open, lighted runway for your approach.

  • http://thecaptainpower.blogspot.com The Captain Power

    USA USA USA!!! Thats right Roosh, Americans don’t take any crap and our game is unbeatable….

  • Rolls Reus

    As a german living in Europa for close to 30 years, I have to say that a couple of months backpacking experience do not really qualify for these generalizing statements I read.
    Europe is just too culturally diverse, and mutual stereotypes play a major role when it comes to gaming in a certain european country.

    In general, being a foreigner IS a huge advantage, almost everywhere in the world, except when your nationality is subject to strong prejudice, like Anti-Americanism in many parts of the world. As a german, I can tell you a thing or two about stereotypes as well.
    Of course, you can win over someone easily when they realizes you dont match their clishe, but still a homeground-shaped game often needs a lot of calibration not to say reorganization in some countries. Sometimes , playing a different game than the locals is just what makes the win though.

    Speaking english or speaking the national language with an accent always helps, and foreigners are exciting. For example, Italians or Spanish have probably the best game in the world. They only place where I am able to compete with them is in their own country! These countries also have the best girls, but it is surprisingly easy competing with the locals playing a nice guy (!) (being tall and blond will help, too). In my own country, they outgame me easily.
    I wonder how one can seriously claim that being a foreigner is not an advantage before even entering the set.

    Concerning Heidelberg I can say that most Americans I saw (which is a lot) are really poor gamers. On the other hand, Americans I saw in Latin America ranged from mediocre to real big League, while literally all Americans in Asia were total jerks, only gaming their own sluts or paying for sex.

    Two specifics for Germany: Guys here are very, very low-key. A good thing that Americans do is paying attention to a girl’s name (germans usually dont). As german women are not at all used to compliments, thats the best way to get them. Being subtle is the trick, Americans use to many adjectives they attribute to themselves and others, which is why they are often considered as shallow and cheesy.

    For Iceland I cant tell, but Roosh’s view on danish girls surprises me, as from what I know they are both confident and feminine. The skirt to pants ratio will be even lower in most european countries.

    Anyway, no offense. I really like your smart writing, it makes you the only pick-up artist of any worth.

  • anonyme

    hey roosh, what do you think of coming to montreal for a while? in many ways we’re our own little country here so i think it would be an interesting experiment. i’d like to see how you do here and any tips you might have for gaming the local women.

    my guess is that you’d either find it remarkably easy or impossibly difficult.

  • The Glee Manifesto

    So who is this bearded fellow?

  • Mac Rey

    Thatz whats up! I live in a college town where I graduated from some time ago. I’m 36 now and I still average about 4 22 year old or younger (usually not younger than 19) per year. Took down a bad ass littlle 21 year old 2 nights ago. & I still game & fuck on women from 25-35 age demograph & average about 15 different chix a year.

    A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. If you don’t approach your going home solo & feeling bad. Fuck that, I see what I like & go for it wasting no time. Theres nothing to be lost but a good time if you don’t approach. I’m happy to say I’m unfaded by a woman I don’t know’s rejection. It is a cut throat game and I like playing it.

  • ich bin fliege am der Wand

    @ Rolls Reus

    I agree with a lot of your points, but as an American who lived in Germany for a few years I think the reason german men are so low keyed is because german females have the friendliness and warmth of a bottle of iodine, so the german guys simply do not have an incentive to bother anymore. But this is the way all western and westernizing women are today. This may also account for why a lot of german men enjoy visiting south america. Just my observation, and it’s NOT meant to be an insult to you or Germany. I enjoy your country very much, and frankly think Germany should refrain from bailing out the EU. Give the middle finger to Belgium! Ihre Englisch ist sehr gut.

  • Hawk

    I disagree with the thing about a learning in a tough environment. Spanish girls are notoriously harder than French girls, and I’ve seen how French guys have better game than we the Spaniards. It seems that the sluttiest the women are in a country, the better is the game of men.

  • DC Opportunist

    Awesome story, the only thing missing is a “The moral of the story young, enterprising Alphas-in-training…”. Your next book should be a collection of these types of stories and called “Roosh’s Fables”.

  • Renegade

    well, it’s universal well-known fact that being foriegners just gives the local girls a mini orgasm. they love foriegners guys. i mean one guy mentioned something like that German girls are kinda hard and i bedded this one german babe less than 3 hours we met and same goes to american girl who’s came from midwest regions. so the point is women are naturally sluts but they just dont want us to know since the society view them as whores and i think the reason why fuck foriegners is that a foriegners guy wont go around telling thet he fucked that girl whereas the local dude’s(not all but mostly) go around bitching how they fucked that hot gal in order to get some credit from their peeps so that’s why foriegners guys rule is fuck, and move the fuck on to the next one and the circle goes on and on…

  • Rael

    It’s one thing to approach like mad, pump & dump as often as possible when you’re traveling or in a large city where you can always find fresh hunting ground.

    It’s a whole different thing to do this in a smaller town/circle where you are connected to everyone with no more than one or two degrees of separation.

    I wonder how you would adjust your game to those situations, Roosh?

    Have you considered that your “Poland Pussy Paradise” ( http://www.rooshv.com/i-lost-the-polish-magic ) may have gone sour because it was a small enough town that the word got out about you once you’d been there for awhile?

    That perhaps that Polish girl you “really liked” heard about what you were doing from some of her friends … maybe because you hit on one of her friends without knowing it?

    This is one reason why you – a foreign stranger planning to move on anyway, with no existing local attachments – can often be bolder than the locals.

  • sheesh

    Being a foreigner makes gaming easier since the mere fact that you are from another country can make you different and interesting. A local guy has to first show a girl that he can offer her sth. that is unique and that other guys don’t have. This leads to having to qualify yourself which everybody knows can go wrong easily.

    I bet there are a lot of black guys who are “killing it” in Scandinavia who wouldn’t get much play at home because they don’t have anything unique to offer to their local females. In Sweden or Germany they can play the Gangsta/hip hop card in addition to their exotic looks, which black or even white American girl would fall for stuff like that back home ?

    I have also realized that I’m more confident with women when I’m abroad since I know that I’m not required to be a certain way by the women. When I’m too serious or cold I can attribute it to me being German, when I make an akward move, this could be because I’m a foreigner and not because I’m actually inexperienced or insecure etc…you don’t have to be as good as you have to be back home, little mistakes are overlooked more easily.

  • El Indulto

    I jack off constantly and I get laid…sometimes I jack off into a ho’s mouth. Just thought I’d share.

  • http://epicureanethic.wordpress.com/ Epicurus

    Living in Japan right now and I ran into a DC girl at a party this weekend. They are as bitchy abroad as they are at home

  • DoesNotMatter

    Roosh, The British gaming environment is even more cut throat than DC.

    @30 Epicurus, what are you doing talking to white girls in Japan?

  • http://footpole.wordpress.com/ George Garner

    Roosh, I tip my hat to your story-telling technique. Well done, sir! The O. Henry of the manosphere.

  • Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: Week of February 19, 2012()

  • Anonymous

    very good….

  • http://[email protected] nothing a man do can bring a woman to bed if she does nott want to go

    Eye contact is one of the first game of women. Eye contact with a frown is a scorn.eye contact with a smyle is sometime a invitation.

  • JoeBoo

    So true..when I lived in Greece I was getting way better results from the women. Especially Scandinivians. America has got to be the toughest place on the planet to get laid!

  • Julien

    From my experience, Geneva in Switzerland is by far the worst

  • http://tycio.livejournal.com Tyciol

    2 outlaw josey wales February 13th, 2012 @ 10:36 am: ” If the US is competitive, then DC is like Goku training in the hyper gravity chamber (or whatever it was). ”

    Bulma had had a gravity-amplifier installed in the capsule corp space ship that Goku was piloting to get to Namek to catch up with initial group that went there. Goku changed the gravity to various levels, I think around 100x on average, though it fluctuated during a meteor storm.

    Prior to that, he had only trained on King Kai’s planet which I think had 10x earth’s gravity.

    Course later on you had Vegeta and Gohan joining goku to do it in 500x special rooms.

  • TEG

    I guess You just “forgot” to add that You actually never slept with this girl :)