Hooker Spotting In Las Vegas

The guy who looked most like a bitch had the hottest bitch in the bar. He was a short aging rocker with eyeliner and long stringy hair and a lip piercing and was almost more feminine than his girl. From ten feet away I could not spot a flaw in her appearance.

There was a hooker with a going price of $500. If the first question out of their mouth is “Where are you staying?” then you know they are a hooker. Problem with spotting hookers is that every other non hooker-girl dresses like a hooker too. With the help of a can of hair spray, four inch heels, blonde dye, dim lighting, and a black cocktail dress that leaves nothing to the imagination, 6′s were now 8′s. A gallon of makeup can hide just about anything and any girl who wasn’t morbidly obese could elevate herself into hot girl status. All for just a few hours of work.

The only purpose of Las Vegas is to part a man from his money. (Fyi I lost $300 at blackjack). Men literally lined up to part themselves from their money at the casino clubs, begging to grease the bouncer to enter in addition to paying a $30 or more cover charge. Even guys who are dropping hundreds or thousands on tables had to wait in line.

highroller.jpgThe first night I went to Body English club at Hard Rock with my partner in crime. The girls were friendly and opening was easier than back at home. The hottest girls I talked to since South America would maintain eye contact with me and smile as I talked. But conversations didn’t last as long as I liked. Sometimes it was just a standard cockblock but other times the girls would excuse themselves to some guys table to get free drinks. More than half the club was dedicated to table service. It seemed like every guy was throwing alcohol their way and besides that the only game I saw here was tatted up body builders wearing Affliction t-shirts.

Second night we went to Blush lounge in the Wynn Hotel, a place some Wall Street trader told me was “the most superficial place in the world.” He said I don’t belong there and I agreed, but this was the special Vegas weekend and I had to party like a rockstar or something. When it comes to slowly losing my money at the $10 blackjack table or hanging out in a club with rich and beautiful idiots, the decision is hard.

I got a couple numbers from the friendlier club girls but I knew nothing would happen. Same night or bust. Plus girls had a “one for all, all for one” mentality (no soldier left behind). Hope of easy sex grew dim until we were led to the bar inside Hard Rock’s casino. There was no line, no cover, no loud music, and an interesting mix of UFC wannabes, hookers, fake breasts, local girls, and out of towners. A fascinating place where every girl wore high heels instead of flip flops.

It was four of us now. The shots were big and by 4am one guy got kicked out and puked in front of the lobby and another was sleeping in the garage. A stunning and gentle 18-year-old named Kylie stuck by my side until her “cool” mom took her away, a 30-year-old woman blonde lawyer from LA who said I was “mainstream but trying not to be mainstream” found out about the Turkish kiss, and a 47-year-old attractive Italian woman wanted to bang me. Even at 4am there was still fresh girls rolling in from whatever shithole club they went to, probably the one that, believe it or not, had the slogan Status Is Everything.

By the the time the sun was coming up it was just me and a gutter slut with some sort of beret hat. She was talking her head off and I all I could do was nod and say “Yeah?” because I was trying to not vomit on her face. I don’t know if I didn’t get the urge to take my camera out of my jean pocket because she was a monster or because I didn’t remember having a camera in my pocket, but she definitely was not one of those model chicks I saw on the arms of wealthy looking guys that zip right into the club and make me question the starving artist lifestyle. Either way thank god what happens in (…)

Climbing over fences, clenching wet napkins at the blackjack tables, escaping in the morning, lost walking through a Sam’s Club parking lot, sharing a bed with another man, disappointment the adorable big-eyed girl is a hooker and not really into me, one and a half meals a day, stealing other people’s drinks, not getting into the club, getting into the club, perma-hangover, and being reminded why I stopped playing poker, the most boring card game on earth. Seven days was too much.

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  • Jay Gatsby

    Vegas wasn’t everything you hoped for, eh?

    Unfortunately, it hasn’t been the fantastic party scene everyone claims it is for many years. These days, Vegas is fueled purely by money — big money. You can still work your game, but it takes time to get to know people, and even then, you still have to grease their palms. True, Vegas attracts some of the hottest women on the planet, but you’ll never get near them without money or status. Status comes from being a Hollywood actor, famous rock star or simply knowing everyone in town (and having them be willing to do favors for you).

  • Anonymous

    7 days? Vegas is a great time but anything longer than four nights is just too much.

  • D

    I agree with Anon, I couldn’t handle that place longer then the five days I was there. I agree though, its a lot harder to get laid out there then people think. Game or not you better be dropping 100′s on the tables or on drinks for them or else it’s hooker city.

  • http://thatsmyprerogative.wordpress.com/ Ava V.

    your description of the aging rocker reminds me of a man known to me and my friends as david bowie. he’s in this band that played at bars at my school and had a striking resemblance to the real david bowie.

    Ava V.’s last blog post: Planning a Wedding Stage 1.

  • A

    The fun you can have in Vegas, to me, is directly proportional to the amount of money you are willing to spend (if you aren’t famous, etc…).

    I’ve partied in a good number of cities around the world and in my top ten list Vegas wouldn’t even get a mention.

  • steve

    @2 “Vegas is a great time but anything longer than four nights is just too much.” Come on. Get some stamina.

    “Where are you staying?” – Non- hookers ask this all the time. Thats why paying $500 for a small room at Wynn is a bargain.

    “The girls were friendly and opening was easier than back at home.” – Roosh. Get a clue. Comparing DC to Vegas on easy factor is like comparing a mean ghetto streetin NE to the polo fields of Potomac.

    Bottom line, Vegas is the easiest place to pick up girls. You just need to have the “preception” of cash.

    This is what I am talking about: http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2005/12/g-manifesto-tip-blueprint-of-perfect_05.html

  • http://journals.aol.com/r32r38/Ironrailsironweights/ Peter

    What puzzled me about Las Vegas were the flyers from escort services that promised “a girl to your room in 20 minutes.” Mexican men were handing out these flyers all over the Strip, so apparently it’s a sizeable industry.

    Let’s consider the logistics. Travel along the Strip by car or taxi is extremely slow most of the time due to heavy congestion, the Monorail is largely useless, and even walking can be time-consuming due to the deceptively long distances. And then you have to consider the fact that the sheer vastness of many of the casino-hotels means that it can take several minutes just to get from the main entrances to the rooms.

    The only realistic way that a girl can be at your room within 20 minutes of calling is for escort services to have girls stationed in the casino area of each hotel, or at least the major ones (I would doubt the 20-minute guarantee applies to all hotels), ready to head up to the rooms upon getting calls from the services. Depending on the volume of business, maintaining this level of staffing could be a very expensive proposition indeed. I don’t see how the business could be profitable.

  • Sweatpants

    seven days in las vegas? jesus christ

  • Generate

    Four nights max….trust me….

  • Roosh The Great Pick-Up Artist Strikes Out in Vegas!

    No Roosh, unlike most South American countries, you can’t live on 5 pesos a day in Vegas…and your game must include wearing freshly laundered clothing as well (not like the single pair of jeans you wore to South America).

    This trip set you back a ton of saved-up allowance money, eh?
    And you didn’t even get laid! LOL! LOL!

    Might I suggest Portland, Oregon?
    The unemployed, shabby, loser, starving “artist” type is still in vogue there.
    But the girls are pierced, tatooed heifers.

    Time to get a summer job, son.

  • Is Roosh Gay?

    “…sharing a bed with another man…”
    ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

  • RCR

    Seven days is masochistic. I can’t/won’t do more than three. By the time you start to sober up, you’re on the plane home.

  • Nikita

    Oh please, haters– Vegas is the place where everyone goes to do the unspeakable and never speak of it again, so don’t act surprised that Roosh thought he’d have a chance of hooking up there. And in case you haven’t been to Sin City recently, Vegas attracts everything from Britney-Spears-trashy to Indie-Band-grungey to Day-Trader-douchey, so a man can wear whatever he wants and still fit in. Nor is it any surprise that Vegas’ hyper-spending, neon-lit, 24-hour faux-facade would eventually come to a saturation point for any half-rational human being. It’s a disgusting place when the booze wears off, and anyone who comes to that realization should be commended for his humanity, not mocked for his shortcomings.

  • Jay Gatsby

    No disagreement here Nikita. That’s why I have no interest in Vegas anymore. The thrill is gone. If I’m going to drop coin, I’d rather it be in NYC, Paris or Tokyo.

  • http://roissy.wordpress.com roissy

    roosh you just killed my desire to go to vegas.

    surprised there were nickel slots. atlantic city got rid of most of the cheapo slots years ago.

    roissy’s last blog post: Speed Dating Sucks.

  • averagejoe

    If you can’t pickup a girl at the Hard Rock Circle bar, then you truly have no game. In 10 trips to Vegas, that bar has provided 8 out of the ten trips and NO they weren’t hookers and they were all 7+ in the looks department.

  • Anonymous

    Vegas is a waste of time. When you can only “recon by fire”, it’s a total waste (though, hookers are easy to spot in hotel lobbies). Go to eastern Europe; you’ll find happiness.

  • GMoney

    I lived in Vegas for 2 years. I found the key is try picking up chicks in the daytime, at the water park, or at one of the strip pools, This way, if you pick up a chick, you can hang with them for a while in the day, and if things go good hook up with them later, if not, go crash from 5PM to around 1:00AM, then hit the club at 2. There are no lines, most of the couples have got horny and headed back to their room by then. You walk in, completely sober and rested, while everybody else is drunk, tired, and basically looks like crap. I could usually walk in around 2am, and leave with a reasonably hot girl, reasonably drunk(off of other guys money), and head to her room. Forget the gambling, it’s a tax at people who are bad at math. Also, if you get hungry, have a rental car and go 5 blocks away from the strip and eat off strip, where the prices are normal. This my friends, is how you “Bang” in Vegas.

  • Anonymous

    I spent several days in Vegas and left on Memorial Day. Damn. Tapped me out. I know exactly what you’re talking about. And we stayed at the MGM where the UFC shit was going on so TONS of that. This girl was coming back to my hotel, said she just wanted to say bye to her friends. Mistake! They got in a fight and bitch got tossed! I left her in tears and zeroed in on cougar-trash. The non-club bars are the place to be; they always have fresh meat rolling in… Only In Vegas. I

  • http://vksempireofdirt.com virgle kent

    GMoney

    um where the fuck were you a week ago?!?!

    Asshole….

  • http://www.iridemybiketothebar.org crucialman

    Vegas is a stupid and depressing place. I can’t understand the appeal. Spend what you spend in vegas in adams morgan and you can buy everyone jumbo slice in adams morgan. Now thats how to get girls….

    (Fyi I lost $300 at blackjack). — after that you shoulda wrote “see haters, i’m not cheap”

  • Pfft

    Starving artist lifestyle? Isn’t there some sort of artistic aspect to that lifestyle?

    Oh, I see, you think that being a horny dickhole is an artform…

  • http://travelvice.com craig of travelvice.com

    nickel slots — hot. :)

    craig of travelvice.com’s last blog post: Cracking Hotspots and Boosting Laptop Wi-Fi: Part 1.

  • Chris

    for someone who professes to be so worldwise and all-knowing, 7 days in Vegas reeks of douchebaggery and personal sadness. Unless you were there for work, there is no way anyone should spend any longer than 3 days in that sh!thole town.

    you’ve been exposed as nothing more than one of the tools you repeatedly judge in DC clubs with your passive agressive notes you place here on your blog.

    it’s just sad.

    oh, and good job on leaving your trek through South American early. Completely understandable since you had so much to rush home to.

    figure your sh!t out and stop whining.

  • So…is Roosh gay or not?

    “…sharing a bed with another man…”

    Dammit! I still wanna know the details on this one, Roosh.

    Do you think this is why you couldn’t get any chicks? It’s nothing to be ashamed of son. It’s just who you are, and as Jerry Seifeld says,”And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

    Las Vegas has a great destination for gay guys close to the Strip called The Blue Moon Hotel & Resort.

    http://www.bluemoonlv.com/

    PS: Chuck Palahnuik, author of “Fight Club” also came out of the closet a few years back.

    PSS: Standing by to be Rick Rolled by Rooshie AGAIN! Well Rick Astley IS THE MAN, ya know, you big silly!

  • RICK ROLLED!!!!!

    Were no strangers to love
    You know the rules and so do i
    A full commitments what Im thinking of
    You wouldnt get this from any other guy

    I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
    Gotta make you understand

    * never gonna give you up
    Never gonna let you down
    Never gonna run around and desert you
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

    Weve know each other for so long
    Your hearts been aching
    But youre too shy to say it
    Inside we both know whats been going on
    We know the game and were gonna play it

    And if you ask me how Im feeling
    Dont tell me youre too blind to see

    (* repeat)

    Give you up. give you up
    Give you up, give you up
    Never gonna give
    Never gonna give, give you up
    Never gonna give
    Never gonna give, five you up

    I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
    Gotta make you understand

    (* repeat 3 times)

  • I Told You So

    I told ya to visit the Nevada Brothels where for 1/2 hour at a time Roosh, YOU CAN BE THE KING OF LAS VEGAS, BABY!…at least King of Pahrump, NV! Hee hee hee!

    Could have saved yourself a ton of dough $$$!!!

    http://www.nvlb.com/

  • Advice from “the hater”

    Maybe the source of your unhappiness lies in the fact that you are constantly on the make to score with chicks both for your own personal satisfaction and for the macho envy of your buddies….obsessed even?

    Seven days in Vegas.
    You also had an opportunity to have a good time, to meet new people or not, to see the sights outside of the bars. Besides strip clubs, Las Vegas has the Bellagio fountains, great art exhibits, fantastic amusement park rides, great concerts and shows, wonderful first-class dining, helicopter rides, Red Rock Canyon, nearby excursions to the Grand Canyon, etc.

    Stop trying and focus on being.

    You might enjoy yourself more that way.

  • InterestedParty

    “A gallon of makeup can hide just about anything and any girl who wasn’t morbidly obese could elevate herself into hot girl status. All for just a few hours of work.”

    THIS IS WHY WOMEN SHOULD CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE!!! This may seem shallow, but so what? What is it for you not to look your best? It can only help.

    There are tons of “natural” 6s who elevate themselves due to working out and dressing well.

  • http://www.sweetredwines.info red-red-wine

    Everyone has a vegas story… I only went once, but more happened that weekend than the rest of the year.

    I hooker who I mistook as a hotel employee offered me “help”. Then I was given bad directions to my bank, and walked 12.5 miles in 110 degree weather in flip flops through the a rough part where 4 were shot dead on the news the night before.

    A superficial girl who liked me, said I am cool, but too bad I am not a doctor!

    Plus much much more…

  • Pingback: Not Dead Celebrities Of Las Vegas » Roosh V

  • lee29

    just spent 6 days in vegas. the clubs were out of control. vistied many, the best place was probably tryst. while i didnt indulge in hookers, i found many attractive young women quite friendly and just presumed that they were hookers or were after free drinks etc. i just steered clear from the skanky ones and hung out with girls in a groups as they were more likely to be legitimate random college girls with no money. i dont have a probelm buying drinks if the girls wana s[pent the night having fun with you..sounds like a good night out pretty much. but yeah, the place is crawling with hookers and you gota watch your back constantly. i asked the bar staff at some places and they all said 3 in 10 girls there were hookers so there you go. have fun lads…

  • Jarrett

    Dude, you have some serious tense issues in this article.

  • FOOGAZEE

    I adore Las Vegas! A man must be primed and willing to be utilitarian before taking the dive into a world of boos, coos, lose, abuse, and bad news!!! First, a man must master at least one table game like blackjack and be willing to lose, in order to win. Gambling isn’t for the ‘faint of heart’ and is grudgless, so just enjoy and your time and play with your head; not over it. Girls, girls, girls………. You’re not going to meet anyone special in Las Vegas and that’s a fact men need to accept. Most regular girls look like hookers and most hookers like like regular girls. There are many 8, 9′s, and 10′s; especially in the Wynn & Encore but they’re all money hungry and don’t have much to offer besides eye candy or sex. Intelectually’ they are lacking and must make up for it with their looks while they still have it. I just couldn’t fathom how many of the seemingly normal groups of girls at Club XS and Blush would party with my crew and I late into after-hours after partying/drinking for free all night on our behalf; only to arrive at our suites and start wheeling and dealing for our $$$. These weren’t escorts, street walkers, or soliciters!!! These were girls staying at the Wynn or Encore with their friends from Ohio, Chicago, Oregon, etc etc etc. These are what are called ‘soft hookers’ and they can be spotted the day after at the pool tanning, shopping, and occasionally gambling. Theses same girls go back home together richer, considering they party free and pay their hotel bills with rich men’s money. “LAS VEGAS IS ANY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN’S OYSTER and EVERY WEALTHY MAN’S DIVE” I still love it though, can’t complain!!!

  • http://sevencard2003.blogspot.com tony

    im just looking for an affectionate woman willing to french kiss who doesnt want a lot of money, and i only play poker, dont work, dont drink, and have no life so hard meeting normal women. yet i dont exactly want a hooker either, just a girl willing to show me a good time and be very affectionate.

  • Anonymous

    All I see commenting is a bunch of broke pussies! Get your money up bitch ass faggits!

  • Smh

    God dude, your def a Debbie. Instead of being in such shock because your from a cow town. Take it in and go with it.. Geez. No wonder you didn’t have a nice time, look at your lame additude. And also maybe you can’t Handel a taste of being shocked once in a while.. Clearl

  • Smh

    Also don’t come to vegas if your complaining about loosing a measly 300. Get with the program honey.. Next time, stay home, bc we don’t wanna hear your bitching, and complaining. What a tool..

  • hung

    did u see him there?