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How It Feels Like To Be A Hot Girl

I reprised my costume as Jesus for Halloween this year. With my hair 8-inches longer than last time and my beard bushier with almost a month of extra growth, the resemblance I had to Christ was eerie.

It started the second I stepped foot in the Metro.

“Holy shit, it’s Jesus!”

“Jesus Christ!!”

“Look, that nigga Jesus!!”

A Muslim-looking man wanted to have his picture taken with me. I gave a serious look, like Jesus would, and made sure my large-print bible was in the frame of the photo.

On the Metro car a girl dressed up as a devil asked to take a picture with me as well. All the way down the car a group of teenage girls yelled my name (Jesus) and then rushed up to take photos with their camera phones. A girl dressed up as a referee, blowing her whistle loudly every two minutes, was next to ask for a picture. She was rather petite and I wrapped my arm around her so we’d be nice and close for the photo. Sober guys next to me gave me their respect with nods of compliment.

On my walk to the bar I had about four or five cars honk their horns. Guys hung halfway out the window yelling Jesus. I’d raise my arm to recognize their efforts to get my attention. A group of white people partying on a patio gave me a round of applause, and I blessed them with a hand motion that I practiced earlier in front of the mirror.

About a dozen or so photos were taken of me in the bar. I believe at one point a line developed. A girl I didn’t know bought me a beer, but didn’t want to talk. She just went to the bar, got my drink, and then left back to her friends. Countless Jews walked up to me, apologizing. The only time I was upstaged was when this asshole showed up in a robot costume with yellow lights and 80′s music blaring from his box head. He did breakdance moves and a crowd formed around him. I cried foul.

The attention got old pretty quick. I was just a cheap gimmick judged by my appearance and nothing else. People lost interest in talking to me if I stepped out of character.

At the next bar I gave off forced smiles with each Jesus yell. A group who wanted my photo made a demand that I pose with a thumbs-up sign. I declined. They kept demanding and I kept saying no. They made negative remarks out of earshot. Eventually I barely looked when drunk people came up to me with “JESUS.” I was much more receptive with calmer approaches like “Hey man I really like your costume. Is your hair real?”

Approaches fell into two categories: those that increased the likelihood of a conversation developing and those that decreased it. The parallel to game here was obvious to me.

I hesitated going home because I knew I’d have to walk through a sea of drunk people. The gauntlet. The attention from cars and and walking drunks was relentless. I wished I could take the costume off, or that I at least brought a band to put my hair back and be less Jesus-like. I kept my head down and avoided eye contact so I wouldn’t encourage anyone, but I still got a lot of “Hey Come here!” When I didn’t do what people wanted they got annoyed. “Jesus is drunk,” they’d say.

On the subway ride back I fell asleep, but people still tried to get my attention.

“Hey look it’s Jesus. He’s sleeping.”

There is such a thing as too much attention, especially when the attention is identical. You get numb to it, and only respond to something original or different.

Postscript: Take a look at How It Feels To Be A Fat Chick by Virgle Kent, my wingman of the night.

 
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38 Comments »
3 years, 3 months ago

Heh, excellent post. Maybe it really is true that hot women don’t always have it easy. This line in particular was quite telling:

I was just a cheap gimmick judged by my appearance and nothing else.

Peter’s last blog post: Tuesday, November 4.

2 D
3 years, 3 months ago

How it feels LIKE to be a hot girl? you are better then that.

3 rdj
3 years, 3 months ago

Excellent post Mr. R, interesting when you try and imagine life from the viewpoint of a hot chick.

Lots of lame come-ons followed by few actual interesting conversationalists. I think if I was a hot chick I’d porbably just stay home all nite and amuse myself ;)

4 Anonymous
3 years, 3 months ago

and it becomes harder and harder to tell the difference between who you should write off right away, and who you should give a chance to.

and the hollering and shouting…at first its fun…but then you start to feel like men are just a bunch of chimpanzees at the zoo. its pathetic and depressing sometimes.

5 Tampa
3 years, 3 months ago

Great freakin read.
Solid.

3 years, 3 months ago

“Look, that nigga Jesus!!”

And just like that a new catch phrase is born.

I had a different salty take on the night THATs for sure

7 RCR
3 years, 3 months ago

“better then” #2? Are you seriously criticizing someone else’s grammar with bad grammar?

3 years, 3 months ago

This is one of a million reasons why I do not go out on Halloween.

If you wanted to neutralize the situation, you should have rolled into a Gentleman’s Club.

Or saved yourself a lot of misery and just swooped a girl early in the night.

Great story. Funniest line:

“People lost interest in talking to me if I stepped out of character.”

- MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Time To Vote, Barack Obama, Nas – Black President.

9 David
3 years, 3 months ago

Excellent piece, Roosh. You’re a damned good writer, and I hope that multi-million dollar book deal will eventually reach your desk. When it does, buy me a beer.

10 Anonymous
3 years, 3 months ago

You already knew the costume would get old quickly, so why did you use it again? Likewise, when women were falling all over you, why didn’t you ultimately hook up? I would think that any number of women would want to corrupt “jesus” so they could have a story to tell their friends the next morning.

11 Lisa
3 years, 3 months ago

Don’t dresses feel great?!

12 zpr
3 years, 3 months ago

When I first saw the title of the post I thought you were going to say you dressed up as a french maid, thanfully I was wrong.

zpr’s last blog post: Escape.

13 Eugenius
3 years, 3 months ago

Shit I feel you man….it must have been annoying as shit…..did you throw coins…..either way you should have banged someone in costume, that would have been a story to tell…

14 Roosh
3 years, 3 months ago

“You already knew the costume would get old quickly, so why did you use it again?”

Fair question. Last time I went to two small bars in dupont. There were no street crowds. And reread the second sentence.

The amount of attention i got then for the entire inght was matched this time in the first 15 minutes on the subway.

15 z
3 years, 3 months ago

Entertaining read.

You really do look like my childhood conception of Christ. The hairy chest (I have one myself) is the tipping point that gives the whole get-up impeccable authenticity.

It takes panache to go out to bars, and drink, dressed like Jesus Christ.

“Look, that nigga Jesus”—Classic, Im going to tell some folks about that.

16 ResidentCynic
3 years, 3 months ago

“There is such a thing as too much attention, especially when the attention is identical. You get numb to it…”

I think I can guarantee that I would NEVER get tired of “Look, that nigga Jesus”. I think I could listen to that and only that for a solid 8 months straight and still be entertained.

3 years, 3 months ago

hilarious.

namaste’s last blog post: Yes We Can.

18 Bebush
3 years, 3 months ago

I been reading your post for quite some time now. Nonetheless its always something interesting, but this jesus s*** really killed me.(in a good way)

Are you gonna keep your jesus look? (beard,hair)

3 years, 3 months ago

You really do look like my childhood conception of Christ. The hairy chest (I have one myself) is the tipping point that gives the whole get-up impeccable authenticity.

I don’t know … almost every crucifix and painting of the crucifixion I’ve seen has shown Jesus with a hairless chest.

Peter’s last blog post: Thursday, November 6.

20 speakeasy
3 years, 3 months ago

Insightful post, Roosh. Sounds like half way through the night, your bitch shield was in full effect!

So you are right, if you want to break through, you really do need to do or say something different…but what? What can you say to a girl that’s been jaded day in – day out by guys all trying to talk to her nonstop. How do seperate yourself from being just another guy trying his damnest to get her number?

21 M
3 years, 3 months ago

next year: rasputin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmKxKylgtmM

22 Anonymous
3 years, 3 months ago

Is that Roissy on the right?

23 yourecoolsometimes
3 years, 3 months ago

man, u just made the best of yourself. I’m reading your blog for a while, more and more bored of it lately… but hey! u really hit it with the jesus look! keep up the good work… wear it casually, sometimes… just on a normal thursday night… it’s sooo you! ola.

24 Dynamo Kiev
3 years, 2 months ago

“Look, that nigga Jesus!!””

LOL. This is what I like about Black people.. short and to the point.

25 Gunslingergregi
3 years, 2 months ago

Allright Jesus I said a prayer I hit this stock and I am done. Make it happen allright. Maybe now you can be a Saint Rhoosh aka Jesus.

3 years, 2 months ago

[...] events are always a fun time. And between a South American Jew, a Jesus-lookalike, and a token vagina who’s also great in the kitchen, it’s bound to be another legendary [...]

27 Dman
3 years, 2 months ago

Movember is going on here in NZ, and I have a HUGE mustache. Freaking stands out like crazy, and I get the exact same thing you had. Constant attention, can’t move a single damn step in a bar without. Even at 5am in an almost empty bar that I walked in to, I still got 4 different guys walking up to me to congratulate / hi-five /whatever.

Not just guys, but girls too. Had a girl come up and plant herself down in my lap and ask for a photo with me.

anyway, linky: http://www.movember.com/

28 Zictor
3 years, 2 months ago

This post was AWESOME.

Actually, I think the brilliance of it is in the fact that you REALISED something that might be very close to the truth about how Hot and Fat chicks feel.

I believe most people have been ignored or the center of attention at least once. But to make this really almost obvious connection to something almost every guy ignores. Did it come up naturally or did you guys have a long discussion about it? Tell us the story behind the duet-posts!

29 Roosh
3 years, 2 months ago

“Tell us the story behind the duet-posts”

Roosh, midway through the night: “Man all this attention… now i know how it feels like to be a hot chick.”

VK: “Yeah and I’m the ugly turtle.”

*lightbulbs*

30 w00tz
1 year, 11 months ago

Jesus Christ!

Love the look, but I really hoped there would be more to this post. “Hot chicks get constant attention, just like I did when I looked like Jesus. It got old fast.” Tell me more!

1 year, 7 months ago

This is one your best posts as far as helping us get insight into how to attract women. I have a similar experience. My gf had two small, adorable white dogs. Whenever I would walk them, especially when one was in the BabyBjorn pouch that I would wear (I know, very beta), the attention was overwhelming. People would stop me, ask to take a picture with the dogs, would ask the breeds, would point at me from cars, talk about me within earshot, approach me, it was crazy. It got very annoying.

Rivelino’s last blog post: American Girls: Slutty in their 20s, Rueful in their 30s.

1 year, 4 months ago

[...] What it must feel like to be a hot girl. Too much attention. Him being Jesus for Halloween. [...]

33 Anonymous
1 year, 1 month ago

Cool story, bro.

34 blert
1 year ago

I did the Jesus thing without even trying. My ‘Jesus’ buried yours.

I had everyone throwing their heads down in prayer. Yeah, lots of Catholics in the area.

No call-outs…

Just an endless stream of shamed, humbled, passers-by.

The image is too powerful.

35 Dave O
8 months, 4 weeks ago

Let’s bust out the world’s smallest violin for the hot chick!

8 months, 3 weeks ago

Looking good- but you probably always hear that. I have an entire blog dedicated to stalking you.

37 Pippa
2 months, 1 week ago

You look nice here. YOunger than I would have guessed.

38 Richard
1 month, 3 weeks ago

Are you sure you are not Jesus reincarnate?

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