How Many No’s Does It Take To Enter A Vagina?

It will be rare that you have sex with a girl who gives you no resistance before sex. While many men have a “I met her in the club and banged her in the bathroom five minutes later” story, this is the exception more than the rule. You will always receive some no’s before you receive the big yes.

The first thing we need to understand is that not all no’s are created equal. Depending on when they come, a no can unambiguously terminate the interaction or it could be a signal that you have to keep going. First let’s take a look at the no’s that really mean no:

1. When it comes upon your approach. If you approach a girl and she shakes her head or puts her hand up towards your face, there is nothing you can do to change that answer. She truly does not want to talk to you. Find another girl.

2. When it comes after you ask for her number. If you ask for a girl’s number, and she says no, she’s not being playful. When a girl likes a guy, she gives no resistance to this step. In fact, it is laughably easy to get a number from a girl who probably doesn’t even like you all that much.

3. When you try to touch her. Most girls are fine with casual touching on their shoulder, arm, or back. She doesn’t even move her eyes to notice the touching since she’s enjoying the deepening connection with you. However, once in a while a girl will ask you outright not to touch her. This is not her game—she really means it. While it doesn’t happen often in an interaction that is otherwise going well, getting a request not to touch is a firm rejection.

4. When she doesn’t respond to your initial text message or phone call. Many guys refuse to give up upon receiving radio silence from a girl, but this is a pretty clear no that won’t change. You may receive a token reply if you send additional messages that reveal your desperation, but when a girl doesn’t reply to a text, especially one where you asked a question, it’s over for you.

There are other situations where receiving a no simply begins the seduction process. Here they are:

1. When you are trying to instant date or venue change a girl. If I meet a girl on the street, and try to instant date her to a coffee shop, her first answer will probably be “I don’t have time.” I can persist by adding, “Well, the coffee shop is right there, and I don’t have a lot of time either.” Then I will take the first step and wave her over. Technically she did not say yes, but we’re on our way to a first date that may last well over one hour. An even more common example is when you invite her to your house at night. Girls almost always say no the first time around—persistence is absolutely require to change that to a yes.

2. When you want to kiss her. With experience, you start to learn the cues a girl gives when she wants to be kissed, but that still won’t guarantee a 100% success rate. I still receive occasional pull-backs upon my first attempt. Simply withdraw, make conversation, and go for it again a little while later. As long as she remains in your company, she’s giving you a green light to keep trying.

3. When you want to have sex with her. One of the biggest fears that women have is being judged as a slut. Her mind forces her to offer some resistance so you don’t think she’s easy for all guys (she may even add “I don’t usually do this” to convince you further). Therefore when you first try to take off her clothes, she will resist even though she may absolutely want to have sex with you. Simply pause your escalation and try again a few minutes later. The pause gives her plausible deniability that she put up enough resistance and is therefore not slutty in your mind. Just like with kissing, as long as the girl remains in your presence and makes no attempt to withdraw, leave, or call the police, you’re being the right kind of persistent. If you really believe the first no that she gives you in the bedroom, she will think of you either as a fool or a homosexual.

I haven’t measured how many average no’s I received before banging, but sometimes it surpasses ten. I get about three no’s when I try to venue change to my house before a yes. I get a token no in my first kiss attempt. Then I get three or four no’s when it comes time to sex. If you aren’t getting no’s at these stages, that means you are taking way too long to escalate (god knows how many bangs you’ve lost out on because of it). With one of my more recent seductions in Poland on a girl of accomplished beauty, I received over fifty no’s from start to end. Thankfully, I did not give up before receiving my wonderful prize. After sex, I told her that her tough discouragement may cause a lot of guys to give up. Her response: “Good, I only want the strong men to get me.”

(Related book recommendation: Go For No)

In today’s world where an attractive girl has unlimited options to get sex, she could very well get bored if you wait too long to make the first move, or just plain get disgusted with you. While some no’s do indeed end your attempt, especially earlier in the interaction, the ones that can be eased into a yes are when you’re closest to reaching intimacy. Unless the girl you happen to be seducing is a woman’s studies major or pansexual loser, she absolutely expects you to ignore her no, make her feel like she’s done her job in not acting like a slut, and confidently barrel your train through her tunnel. As I’ve come to learn in my extensive travels, this is the universal nature of women, no matter the country, and no matter the culture.

Read Next: When No Means Yes

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  • ho

    In b4 Jizzabel porkers

  • JJ

    I have a question. Can #4 mean something different? For example, you flake on a girl who already sees you as high value and for some reason she feels defensive about it. You try to reschedule but because she is trying to save face and not face further rejection or because she got mad, she rejects you first and doesn’t reply back. I say this because this happened to me once. She never replied and I just left it at that. A couple of weeks later I run into her at the store and she is obviously giving me IOIs and acting like she was regretful. I never contacted her again bc I felt it was disrespectful not to reply to my text.

  • frenchie

    Impressive analysis. I have always pondered where the fine lines are. Thanks for the clarification.

  • LuisG

    Great article. I definetly think this is one of the most characteristic traits that differentiate an alpha form a beta-the latter would never push for sex, he’d always back off with the first “no” (probably a consequence from excess feminist propaganda).

  • Bob

    Fantastic article. Another thing I would add: If you can’t at least get that small kiss on the first date, it ain’t goin nowhere. Further dates will rarely if ever get you further cuz she’s just using you for attention.

  • Arranged Marriage_Loser

    Dear Roosh,

    In a country like india where oral sex is even considered as crime, NO actually means , women will call police.

    Oral sex makes you criminal in India

    http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-12-29/man-woman/45444764_1_imprisonment-section-377-society

    In is a gynocentric culture, I pray for Lord that american feminism to become mainstream in india , you will see lot of rapes from frustrated india betas in future,whose only hope is to find a girl in arranged marriage

  • RobP

    Just go to Thailand dude. Or Uzbekistan.

  • Tom Dane

    Im sure feminists will think of this as a “rape manual”

  • Eduardo

    “Good, I only want the strong men to get me.”

    Or higher quality men don’t think she is high value enough for the effort she requires.

    And she still thinks only “strong” men will have her…

  • seth datta

    Two questions: I once pulled a girl back to my place from right outside my house; I walked out, she was there on her way back home from the club; I started talking to her and managed to get her digits before she came back home with me, in around 5 minutes (my house is on the way back from the city center). Do you think this is a good strategy for nightgame for guys with a lower level of game, as I think its a cheaper and easier method of seeing if the girl is into you. I mean the girl I picked up was cute, a 6/10, and I have what I’d consider to be below-average skills. I made out with her for a bit the first time and started rubbing her clit; I got farther the next few times i saw her; initially she was like “I have a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend” as she was sitting in my lap, but unfortunately, i have found out that a boyfriend is nothing more than a glorified dildo for many women. So I did make out with her, but not out of a lack of respect, but rather I didn’t know if it was true or not, so I ploughed through her objections.

    The second question is the kind of pickup that would be good for a guy that is great at approaching, but really poor middle and end game skills. I mean, I am bad. I often feel like I’m restricted to the 17-22/24 crowd here who don’t mind less tight game, as older women expect better skills and are too hypergamous (in addition to the fact they look less good). I mean, there are a ton of sites out there, but I feel that most guys in the industry are frauds or I cannot relate to them. Guys like Krauser are tall and of a different race to me, so I don’t feel I can adapt his techniques to work for me. Also, too many PUAs are fraudulent, and even David D and other so-called gurus are exposed as scammers who do not practice what they preach. I don’t want nor need to date a ton of models; just a few more cute girls than I already have done. What are the best steps to take in order to improve my game, for I can be an approach king, but if I’m having problems closing later on or escalating, how do I fix that? At this pace, it will take years to consistently improve, and I don’t want to quit my job to study this full time.

  • Ron

    I think David Deangelo is not good. Having had contacts in business who have dealt with what Deangelo was prior to his Double Your Dating hustle (a mortgage broker in San Diego) I should e known from that alone he was a shyster. I really don’t like him and think anyone who charges $299 for a cd set of their lame ass conference is a shyster. In my area a book could be written about mortgage brokers- fraud after contracts were signed via alteration of papers, cocaine addiction, lies almost every time the lips move (I hate people who lie), gruesome greed and cruelty. Deangelo was a mortgage broker and you guys tell me if you’ve known mortgage brokers and if recording your ramble for 10 hours is worth $299 or $550 if you taped it visually too- what a joke- that kind of price scheme is an insult to peoes intelligence and one reason I won’t buy RSDs stuff because I see Durden as a guy who copy and pasted Deangelos marketing tactics (come hear my esoteric ramble for only $600- and they stand around going dude and fuck for 8 hours- real class and knowledge- right? Even in The game Style basically implied that Durden blatantly snaked out some of Mysterys stuff and turned it into a ruthless marketing campaign. One thing indignabout Roosh is his low prices and dry analytical in the field mentality. He could easily make a 12 hr DVD and sell it for $300 but a lot of times that stuff is pure schemer configuration. I respect Rooshs honesty- how many people publically talk about their libido dynamics- that’s courage man.

  • Ron

    I had that crap pumped into my head by all the women in family who were my World when I was a little boy. The Communist/Zionist/Illuminati/Bankster spawned mind rot aka Feminism has done civilization no favors. A man can’t be a man without the government wanting to improson him for it. Tyrants hate raw masculinity because they know a man can harness his destructive and creative energy and kick their mani/pedi suit and lobster con man asses into oblivion- what they fear the most. Rockefeller once said if the peasants all figured out what he had done and came to him in droves with ropes and guns as a lynch mob- that was what the tyrant feared the most. So the elite use their money and influence to do all they can to rape mankind of their natural identity through the pig 1984 state and all its perversions against human nature that are enforced at the barrel of a gun via traitor politicians and asinine bully pigs with Glocks all doing the bidding of old crooked turd white and Jew men in suits at man kinds expense.

  • JJ

    I have no doubt India sucks for men. Is there a way you can go to Indonesia, Thailand, or The Phillipines. I’m white and don’t like Asian women all that much but I’d rather have soul in peace than steak in turmoil as white Western woman is such a brainwashed perverse creature because of all hr Zionist pinko programming that her natural intincys are let erred so she can become a taxable income and consumer of plastic trash for the Rothschilds and Rockefellers rather than the kind nurturer of civilization.

  • Dear Uncle Roosh

    One thing I’d like to see written in I. The future is how to be persistent. Man inside I’m broken hearted from loneliness and feminist programming about if she’s days no and you persist your a bad man.
    Why do women torture men mentally like they do?
    Can you give us guys who struggle some ideas on how to build up inner strength and be resilient. I think many men have not had male role models to teach them how to handle women. Personally, I used to hear women cry about how men were bad but when you spam approach like I have and they use your feelings and intent for toilet paper you bein to say these fickle immature selfish creatures really get what they deserve many times. Like you said before- players are made in other words they games they run on us make us this way in AmeriKa. You’re right a regular guy in Poland is so lucky- all he has to do is work, be genuine in his intentions, and it all falls into place whereas I. This Anglosphere cesspool of crap ideology it’s the Olympics to get an 8. Personally, I hope this artificial bubble of women’s over inflated value comes
    Crashing down through the floor. I once heard masculine republics devolve into feminine democracies (American history in a nut shell). Even in the Bible story of creation Adam was fine and a twisted uncontent chick got in kicked out of Paradise. Look at the economy- when men had more power all
    This debt did not occur now every household carries debt in America. The moral here- man can be content but the restless of women brings us all much unneeded trouble.

  • Daddy .

    I find a lot of solace in knowing that male feminists will be knocked the fuck out of the gene pool.

  • Lone Wolf

    One of your most informative articles in a while Roosh. thanks.

  • Demoneater

    Feminism is basically listed as a form of population control on Wikipedia:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_population_control#Methods

  • PeeWee

    I was lucky in my younger days . Her first no undressing her on the bed. I stop. Her: “Don’t stop.”

    Wait a moment ….. THAT SLUT!!!

    The only problem with your little article is that someone stupid could read it and then go about being and doing things stupidly.

    P.S. apple dictionary example of stupid in a sentence: ( I was stupid enough to think she was perfect).

  • splooge

    @jj
    well eastern europe and the southern part os latin america is the best places to find traditional white women..or find mormon girls.
    @AML
    no way dude indian feminism is bad enough in its own conservative way we dont need a crazy liberal version of that(since they could be a future superpower). Least men are still on top there. Gaming in India will suck since the gender imbalance of infanticide resulted in males outnumbering females(more so then china…107 males-100 females in the 15-65 category). Like an ugly girl there can get a higher quality guy as a result(better looks status etc).
    My friend did an arrange marriage there and hes with a 5 and hes a muscular guy(hes picked up better at the club) and same with his cousin(engaged). This arrange marriage deal will only add more value to them(resultin in less feminine behavior) and lowering male value.
    Indian guys should just build their bodys(stronglifts,starting strength or convict conditioning), build their money and learn russian and go to former USSR(more women then men, which is why they are HOT)

  • splooge

    excellent breakdown on when to purse. Too many guys dont know when to purse and when to walk away.

  • Jay Kaye

    Good read.
    If the girl is still with you, you should always persist (but ONLY if you think she’s worth it)

  • korresp

    I’ve never read so much crap in my life.Sometimes I think that this Roosh guy has no sex at all.
    I have had 4 ONS and SNL in the last 3 months,the last one was with a 23 years old Russian 7.Not even once I had any resistance,in fact couple of times I was reluctant myself but hurried up by a girl.

    By reading this blog-you are destroying your game.The author transcends his insecurity and low SMV,making a reader apprehensive and too conscious.

  • Lacedric Jamartion Dupree

    You just reminded me of an Indian from India professor I had and she taught feminism in political studies- man she was a cold one. Dude every second of her class was hell- almost everyone hated it. You know it’s like this whole cant have fun and get laid thing transposes to everyone male/female, young/old. Making are you have pair binding is super important for all of us.

  • Leroy The Great

    His logical analysis of behavior shows the guys no dummy at all but if we were Kool Aid drinking Murican tards in suburbias grey splendor of mediocrity we might say since he’s a Persian he’s the boogey
    Man and hates women, is a Muslim, and swings from the chandelier at Abmadinajads house. People in this Country ARE that dull.

  • splooge

    @ljd
    you hit the nail there. Noticed that if any race will swallow feminism white and indian girls swallow it the fastest, but at 2 different ways. 1 sluts it up the other is very conservative, polar opposites of the same turd. Middle east girls are 3rd place(most usually are like the indian ones).
    But it seems its the girls with wealther (middle class an up) background like to spout it more. Like if they went through ghetto or 3rd world problems, only to profit for it for themselves. While the poor ones dont seem to care about their situation,its just life to them.
    too many white/indian/middle eastern princesses around.

    I wonder how latin america, east asia and eastern europe keep feminism out?

  • Lamarvin Blowjangles

    That’s a great question.

    All I know is I’m glad they do keep that garbage out. I’m amazed reading the forum how guys say when they go to the non demo ask zones women are nice and sweet- we know Team Murica doesn’t know shit about that. I’ve met Columbian and Polish girls from those respective Countries here in the States and have been like wow- it’s so cool she listens to what I say and has a soft feminine way about her as opposed to these dumb ass cuts who think its ok to be ass holes. I’m getting to really dislike Americans in general- this Country is like one big trailer park of half breed Euro trash working for the man and drinking the systems Kool Aid.

    On feminism-
    i hate that Zionist/Communist civilization destroying toxin with a passion. Dr. Henry Makow is a successful, erudite Jew and guess what? He says he Jews invented that SHIT called feminism to destroy and control the non Jews are as amongst their fellow vampire tribe they call us “Goys” aka cattle. You guys really need to get on Rense.com and read the Protocols of The Learned Elders of Zion.

    PS- Piss on that Commie thought police piece of shit known as the ADL and SPLC- damn clowns oppressing Free Speech, Western civilization, and all things decent and common sense.

  • Red Pill Now

    Uncle Roosh-
    Dr. Henry Makows “Feminism A Cruel Hoax” is required red pill reading for all
    Men with brains and balls. Piss on those wretched tyrants!

  • Founder of Feminism Exposed
  • Grampybone

    This is so important. Can you send this article back in time and make my younger self read it?

  • Skull_Leader

    Lol you’re intentionally antagonizing the lezzabelles, aren’t you? Good.

  • Will

    You know I have this guilt and anxiety for touching girls. What should I do to correct it? The feminist system has mind games me into believing getting physical is sexual harassment- that’s really wrong to program young men that way.

  • Purple Penguin

    They won’t, they will settle with an average (or less) woman, sacrifice everything for her and have a few children before begging for sex twice a year. Sad life but they stay in the gene pool.

  • Daddy .

    Yeah, but their children are not theirs.

  • Ill

    “The feminist system has mind games me into believing getting physical is
    sexual harassment- that’s really wrong to program young men that way.”

    Think of feminism a society-scale shit test for eliminating undesirable genes. A political manifestation of the female id: revulsion and brutal contempt for “betas.” Unfortunately for you, the confusion and discouragement you’re experiencing is both intentional and part and parcel to the desired outcome.

    You come to terms with this by: a) dropping out of the fray, or b) following Roosh’s lead and increasing your perceived value through game and/or geoarbitrage.

    Whatever you do, feminist politics will continue to push for your indenture. In their minds, your sperm is bad, but your money is good. After all, some sucker has to pay for alpha baby’s diapers, mama’s McMansion, her smart phone (so she can better fuck bad boys), her healthcare and retirement “entitlements” and so on and so on. Why not you?

  • urgh

    like family guy said ’50 no means yes’ ha I see your future it contains bars and being fucked up the ass by fellow prisoners, enjoy Roosh the douche

  • bobbdobbs

    Leroy, there are planes leaving every day.

  • Frank Rizzo

    If you’re not a quite physically attractive and / or wealthy guy, playing the “game” is bound to be a frustrating — read, almost always negative — experience.

    The solution to the above situation — which applies to millions and millions of men — is, holding masturbation aside for the moment, to have sex with prostitutes.

    If we’re discussing relations between the sexes, prostitutes are — almost regardless of the question — the answer.

  • Giuseppie

    I took home and hooked up w this super cute 21-year old ballerina whom I met on NYE. Making out started almost immediately upon entering my pad, and I probably got 4 No’s before we first had sex on my living room floor, then my couch and then again later in the morning after sleeping for a few hours. Her initial No was when I went to remove her panties. I said, “But, I want to eat you out”, to which she said she wasn’t ready to remove her panties. I said, “That’s fine, I can do it with them on” with a smile. Within a few minutes we were 69′d and sex followed soon thereafter.

    The feminazi bitches (read: grown women who have penis envy) will claim it as rape since we’d had alcohol that evening, she said No a few times and also probably because I am almost 11 years older than her. Fuck them. This girl has already told me she wants more sex and that she wants to cook for me sometime.

  • Tommy Hass

    Stop repeating that bullshit about the Protocols of the learned elders of Zion.

    Yes, we know that Jews are disproportionately responsible for this bullshit, but be more precise about it.

  • Sarah88

    You’re so angry, bitter, and pathetic. No wonder you’re having a hard time. Women sense the creepy serial killer in his mom’s basement vibe. Keep listening to these zeros and solidify your fate.

  • Is This Real

    Kudos on “serial killer” and “mom’s basement,” but you forgot the all-important “you have a small penis.”

    Good effort, though. B-

  • Lucas Grijander

    Betas of the world, listen to uncle Roosh. Every idea in this article is correct.

    The key to getting into a woman’s pants is knowing when no means “no” and when it means “please keep trying”. If you cannot tell, you’re lost, you have no compass to guide your next step, and you will most likely fail.

  • Sam

    Stumbled across this article by an unfortunate accident and I’m honestly and completely sickened, not by the article because the internet is filled with this kind of trash from sad little men, but rather at the apparent support of this kind of material. This is what is wrong with the world and I am disgusted. You view male feminism as a way of culling ‘undesirable genes’ as if basic human decency is a genetic trait?? Stop clutching to your precious masculism like some sort of comforter that shields you from the terrifying modern women and stop spreading your ignorance and hatred. I don’t even know what else to say to be honest.

  • matt

    The fact that you admit that you have had 10+ “no’s” from women goes to show how ill-informed this article is. I’ve never had a no from girl in bed, only because when I get to that level in a relationship the feeling is mutual.

    Also bro – persisting with taking off her clothes after she is telling you know? listen, you aren’t entitled to sex and maybe if you stopped acting like you were, you’d get laid more often and with more girls who actually are your type and will stick around.

  • matt

    *no, not know. I need some coffee to wake up apparently

  • drew

    actually, feminism is simply about women having the same equal rights as men. that’s it. it’s really that simple! anyone or anything that is telling you otherwise is not feminist material, even if it is labeled as feminism. I’d suggest that if anyone just has no idea about what feminism is, to go and take a course in women’s/gender studies or read up on some proper articles instead of citing sources like Wiki (which can be edited by any user, which goes to show how credible it is)

    in short, do your homework gentlemen before taking things at face value. knowledge is power.

  • Bella Batali

    pretty dead on advice

  • Demoneater

    Feminists intentionally keep the definition of feminism vague and amorphous so they can claim NAFALT and force its detractors to swordfight the fart.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7tFV2Y6Hxk

    Take your privilege-framing, heterophobic women’s/gender indoctrination nonsense and shove it. No one is buying it here.

  • CB

    Hell, my dad is a feminist and he’s about as masculine as one can get in terms of appearance and personality. It’s probably because he had a daughter, LOL.

    I only date men who see women as three-dimensional human beings. I consider that feminism. Bitter men, like some of those here, are unattractive, because they are weak.

  • Daddy .

    We’re all feminists here. We love the 3 dimensions of women: ass, face and tits.

  • CB

    Predictable, but mildly funny. Gold star!

  • CB

    The only issue with your story is the defensiveness in the introductory sentence of the second paragraph. Feminazi is so overused. *SIGH*. Why don’t you throw in a “democrap”, “Obummer”, “teabagger”, or “libtard” while you’re at it?

  • CB

    Also, I don’t think that was anything approaching rape unless she was totally hammered, you weren’t, and you were taking advantage of the fact that she was totally hammered. Plus, women collectively just kind of need to quit doing that. I get playing hard-to-get. But, willingly placing yourself in a sexual situation then saying “no” when you really mean “yes” makes it difficult for women who actually mean “no”.

  • Tristan Hamish

    nice and childish response….

  • Tina

    If I’ve sad no to a guy 50 times, the 51st time he’s getting a fist in the face.

  • Demoneater

    At least I had a response, bitch. You’re too lazy to even try.

  • MaryWhitfield

    Do pick up artists actually use the word ‘purse’ as one of your stupid fucking acronyms?

  • Tom Dane

    Wait, where’s the goggles that will allow me to view you in 3d ?

  • patriciabateman
  • patriciabateman

    Tell us how you really feel.