1. Have a budget so tight that swinging for a private room will send you into the throes of bankruptcy. You should travel on such a shoestring that you won’t be able to provide decent logistics when a girl wants to have sex with you. Hope instead that the girl you meet has parents who are out-of-town, since I can almost promise you she won’t live on her own.

2. Eat street food every meal so that you can get a food borne illness. Make the assuption that street food in the United States is the same as street food in the Philipines or Ecuador. Full-blown diarrhea, with its accompanying pain, dehydratation, and frequent trips to the bathroom, will tighten your game.

3. Make no effort to learn the local language. Nothing turns on a local girl more than to suspect you’re a sex tourist with your inability to say basic words like “hi” and “thanks.”

4. Take the advice of nerdy travel bloggers who say you should pack as light as possible. Leave all your nice clothes at home. Pack one pair of hiking boots, sweat-proof nylon pants that make a swish-swish sound when you walk, and a couple t-shirts with ironic sayings on them. Foreign girls throw themselves all over guys who are rocking the backpacker style, especially those who wash their clothes in the hostel sink with bar soap.

5. Jump from one ultra-popular tourist city to the next. Your trip should be a roller coaster ride of picture-taking in as many mega-cities as possible, not a slow meander where you learn the best spots in second-tier cities to meet and date local women.

6. Do not pipeline on the internet before your trip. Instead of messaging cute girls you may find on dating sites, Badoo, OkCupid, or Couchsurfing, it’s better to assume that on your first night out you’ll find a bar with dozens of beautiful women who like the beige fisherman hat you bought specifically for the trip.

7. Makes friends with other foreigners who have zero game and just want to get drunk. Going out alone is boring and hard. Instead, you should hang out for several hours in the hostel until everywhere can agree on going to the crappy bar across the street. Sure, you won’t get laid, but you’ll no doubt enjoy the crazy antics of Noah the Australian who threw up in the bathroom.

Follow these seven tips and I promise you that foreign pussy will remain foreign.

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