How The Game Is Played: Three Years Later

I checked back with Virgle Kent to follow-up on an interview I did with him three years ago. Let’s begin…

1. It’s been a while since we last had a chat about how you run game. What have you learned since then?

I’ve learned to strip away most of the bullshit. To do a lot with much less, to become a minimalist when it comes to game. I thought having a great job and a title would make gaming easier then I lost that. I thought having the best gym body would automatically equal having great game then I went more than four months without touching weights. Through everything I learned that what mattered most was the experience I’ve had with practicing game on women. I eventually got everything back and more but still remember the lessons I learned over the past three years. Time has a way of humbling men.

2. I’m sure you’ll agree with me that the definition of game is changing. In the past it was about wearing loud clothing and negging girls with memorized lines. What do you think game means today? What direction is it going? 

Game has evolved into a whole theology on what it means to be a man and feel like one in today’s society. It’s about being a man during the first approach, during a relationship, and even during a marriage. The secret being it’s not really what you say but how you say it. In the future men will have to work on setting themselves apart from other men with individual aspects of their lives that will make them naturally more interesting than most guys in the bar, lounge, party, or any environment they’re trying to pick up. Self improvement will be key.

3. Some commenters have pointed out that game is nothing more than a response to modern feminism. What relationship does feminism and game have with each other? How will this interaction change in the next couple of years?

Feminism is interesting. I disagree with the thought that game is the response to modern feminism. Feminism has been around far longer than game. I’ll tell you what, game works best on feminists, girls so assured of themselves and filled with fake confidence based on their education and careers that they never see it coming. Most feminists honestly believe that game doesn’t exist or would never work on someone like them. But in the grand scheme of things most young women are feminist in name only, because they’re alone and have nothing else to hold on to or call themselves so they use feminism to feel a part of something. So if they meet a real alpha or guy with game and it’s between him or dying alone with one cat and two eggs holding on to each other for dear life, what do you think they’ll choose? For most women, feminism is an act of convenience more than a lifestyle of faith.

4. A man’s game usually is a result of his personality and the type of girls he goes for. What kind of girls are you banging lately? How have you honed your game to get them?

I’ve been having a lot of affairs with married women. More than I’d care to admit. To get them I’m just a really good listener. To me I’m intrigued by some of these beautiful wives in this town with the worlds biggest ring. I used to think the size of their rings meant they were happy and in love. So I started asking questions and listening. What I found was these are women who realize that ever after is a fucking long time… with the same person. They have the house, the kids, the cars, but I learned a beautiful woman’s greatest fear is becoming invisible. And these ain’t fat housewives that let themselves go either. I’m talking from 27 to 38, yoga-mats-and-pilates women.

It’s not as simple as it looks. Sure some are sluts no questions about that. But others just reach a point. The greatest thing I learned just being a successful alpha isn’t good enough to keep your woman. They all have this minimum level of attention, love, and sex needed from you to keep them. If you drop below that level she’ll find it from someone else. This made me open my eyes to my own relationship and not taking anything for granted or think I got it in the bag. But then again I’ve never been with the same woman for over a year so what the fuck do I know.

5. You’ve recently been involved in a long-term relationship with a foreign woman. How was that like?

Night and fucking day, it was surreal, like owning a PC then switching to Macbook. The simplicity and the intuitive ease. It changed me in giving me hope for guys like us, like when we need to retire from game and relax there are women out there that are feminine, loving, and trusting. It’s tough sometimes living in DC to believe there are women like that out there. I didn’t need to use that much game with her after I got her; her attraction level to me was still high. But I remembered the lessons I learned from affairs with married women and made sure I kept up my end of attention and showed I cared in my own alpha way. Overall I would equate it to that feeling you got from being in Poland, a place where feminine women do exist. Like seeing a unicorn.

6. There seems to be a lot of anger among young guys who have flocked to game denialist forums to mock the use of game. They use similar language in their attacks as the feminists. What do you think is going on here? Do you think young guys are taking to game like we did in our early 20s?

I think young guys are just being young by their nature. What comes with that is anger, and more commonly, impatience. They’re in denial because game didn’t work fast enough for them. They read the books, followed the blogs, did everything “word for word” and in 6 months, 10’s weren’t falling from the sky. It’s like a guy who has never worked out before joining the exact same gym Jay Cutler works out at and buying the same supplements Jay advertises in Muscle Magazine and is shocked—fucking shocked—he too isn’t benching 350 for sets of ten. So he says fuck body building, that it’s for idiots and assholes, and decides to take up a vegan diet and practice bikram yoga because it’s more hardcore and spiritual and less gay… wait what.

Part of it is our fault. Game bloggers that show the end results. We don’t talk much about our mistakes or times we failed at a pick up, or even the many years trying to crack a certain type of situation, which is where the true lessons are learned. It’s always finished product and young guys read it and it looks easy to them like anyone can do it. Like my favorite quote from Nick Wells in The Score goes (and I’m paraphrasing here)…

“Sit down and make a list of everything you want to get in your life, the cars, the house, all the toys. Then spend the next 25 years of your life getting it piece by piece.”

7. You’ve just revealed a new site to the world called Nexxt Level Up. How is it different from your existing blog? What do you hope to accomplish? 

I’ll start with the concept. Right now I feel that typical game blogs are in what I like to call theory or concept mode. Everyone has their own theory on the best way to number close, neg, one night notch, etc. What the reader has to do now is study that and learn what works for them. Soon everyone adopts which style of game works best for them after a few years. Once that’s done, what’s next?

My goal with the game lifestyle magazine was to fill that void. I wanted to touch on other elements of a man’s life that could help improve his game. Fashion, health and fitness, cooking and dining, and travel. These are a lot of areas to cover so I was sure to bring in men who knew more than me in these areas, guys that I look up to on their own blogs.

It’ll be different from other “group blogs” in that everyone brings their own special expertise to the table to build something going in one direction. It’s more focused. Hopefully a different post a day and a one-stop shop to just learn something different or what you might not have thought of before. I’ll still be writing about my game theory and my little sex stories as well, but the purpose is that the site as a whole should help improve your overall game and life, giving you an advantage on guys who are still stuck on theory.

It’s a new concept (in our game world), but hopefully what comes across is the possibilities of where game can go as a whole, that the only thing holding us back is ourselves. I have a feeling that other game blogs will band together as groups and something will push through to the mainstream. This is my attempt at that.

Check out Virgle Kent’s new project at Catch up on his existing work here.

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