How To End Cockblocking As We Know It

The way to end cockblocking in the United States came to me in a dream. I woke up and immediately grabbed a pen so I wouldn’t forget something that could change the lives of millions of men.

If you get cockblocked by a girl, you need to respond by shaking her core so hard that she hesitates doing it ever again, like a mouse who hits the wrong lever and gets the shit zapped out of him. No jokes and no wit—you gotta get dirty.

This is what you must say to the cockblocker. Say it with a stern tone, like a parent scolding a child.

“Did you really just do that? I’m being friendly and respectful to your friend and you rudely interrupt. Did your parents teach you to be anti-social like that?”

Then shake your head and turn your back on her. Don’t engage her in a conversation or even act like you hear her response. She no longer exists.

This ruins her night, completely. Girls are emotional creatures and it takes them a very long time to get over getting called out like that. To top it off, girls absolutely hate it when you don’t allow them to respond. They are so used to getting in the last word in their arguments with men (they are addicted to closure, remember), that she will be thinking of what happened for a long time to come.

I was talking to a girl and mid-sentence out of nowhere this bitch rolls up between us and starts yapping her mouth. I tap her on the shoulder and she turns around. With a straight face I said, “You see we’re talking here, right?” She gave me a stunned look and immediately stormed off. Her friend gave chase to console her.

Do you think she interrupted another conversation that night? I don’t think so. She probably went home to call her beta hanger-on for support.

If every guy calls out a cockblocker just once a month, I’m confident it will cease to exist in a year or two. I’m dead serious. Girls will continue to cockblock as long as there is no punishment for doing so, and since it’s against the law to slap her upside the face, you have to use words. But it’s important you don’t use profanity or call her names because then she won’t take you seriously. Be mostly respectful so she can’t immediately write you off as an asshole. You’re a good guy who is shocked and appalled by the rudeness you were just victim to. You don’t believe what the world is coming to.

It’s our fault that girls cockblock. We’ve been letting them get away with it for so long that girls know there is absolutely no cost for them to block. We stand there with dumbfounded looks on our face while she gets satisfaction that her friend is going home alone just like her. It’s time to let them earn that cockblock.

Here are the keywords to remember: respectful, rude, interrupt, anti-social. I don’t care if I get kicked out of bars but I’m going to ruin her night, and she’s going to think twice about doing it again. Worthless bitch.

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