Every now and then you hear stories of a player finding his dream girl and then effortlessly becoming a provider who never looks at another girl again, but I think the transition is a lot more problematic. Going from banging a lot of girls to only banging one—while simultaneously changing your day or night game leisure activities—can be such a shock for men that it greatly decreases their happiness. I believe that the bulk of this unhappiness actually comes from a man retaining player beliefs that are incompatible with monogamist beliefs.
Here are the eight beliefs that a player must change if he wants to enjoy a committed relationship…
Player Belief: “I’m in my prime. I should be banging a lot of girls.”
Monogamist Belief: “Thankfully I found this girl while I’m in my prime. I can enjoy her when life is richest.”
Player: “I can do better than her. I’m selling myself short.”
Monogamist: “A man can spend his whole life finding a better girl. I’m lucky that I found someone who I can enjoy the passing of time with.”
Player: “She’s not the coolest girl I’ve dated. I should call Mariana.”
Monogamist: “A failed relationship with a better girl still means you weren’t a proper match. Tasting fruit is not the same as owning the fruit tree.”
Player: “I feel more masculine when I’m hunting for pussy.”
Monogamist: “I feel more masculine when I provide for my girlfriend.”
Player: “Relationships are boring. I need more excitement.”
Monogamist: “Casual sex is shallow. There’s no deep connection or love.”
Player: “She’s not young enough. She’s showing signs of age.”
Monogamist: “I want to grow old with the person I love. This is what humans have done for hundreds of thousands of years.”
Player: “She doesn’t understand me. We’re too different.”
Monogamist: “Real compatibility takes time and mutual understanding. Don’t confuse sexual attraction with human connection.”
Player: “Relationships are very time consuming for little gain.”
Monogamist: “Game is very time consuming for little gain.”
If a guy is in a relationship with a girl and one of the above player beliefs pops into his head, he must counterattack it with a monogamist belief. Otherwise his dissatisfaction will undermine the relationship. This is what happened to me in Ukraine, where monogamy was implied with a girl I dated. Player beliefs would flood my head daily, especially when I saw an attractive girl. I didn’t counter them with monogamist beliefs so I eventually sabotaged the relationship and caused the Ukrainian girl much grief and pain.
The process of going from player to monogamist is essentially beta male programming. You’re moving back to beliefs that men who are unsuccessful with women have, but it’s a necessary step if you want a monogamist relationship. In what situation would I want to go from being a player to a monogamist. I came up with one scenario: when it’s harder for me to get laid.
As long as I can pull at my current skill level, there’s no benefit in moving to monogamy, which seems to be a lifestyle that you have to endure and brainwash yourself to accept. No matter how I look at it, the player lifestyle is superior to that of the monogamist. Even if I meet my “dream girl,” I know that in just a few months the prospect of banging new pussy will give me more happiness than the stable relationship.
I know that there will be a day when my player abilities falter and I can’t pull like I used to. In that case I will land a reasonable girl and make a reluctant go out of it. I have no doubt that player beliefs will still try to destroy the effort, but by then there will just be one monogamist belief that will defeat them all: “You can’t do better than this.”Tweet Follow @rooshv
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In fact, women like men polygamous, they do not accept that relatives and friends become aware of it, because she feels inferior to your social circle.
To me you equally brainwash yourself into thinking this.
How Abe Lincoln broke up with his ladies:
Yet again, I’m impressed. Thanks for you honesty and clarity, and thank you for not making this post into a rant against monogamy. The choice to pursue either monogamy or polygamy, must be made with eyes wide open, and not under the influence of someone else’s bias.
I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that you have many readers who don’t share your goals, yet still respect you deeply. I think posts like this are the reason. Facts are used to promote bias, but fact are not themselves bias. You dish out a lot of naked facts, perhaps with agenda, but not AS agenda. Kudos.
Being monogamous is not beta. Not all married men are beta, especially those outside of anglosphere. Many men just don’t care for pussy that much to constantly chase new one. They like to have an easy provider of sex at home to satisfy that itch and pursue other goals.
Being under a woman’s heel is beta. You can be extremely polygamous but if you pay for every chick you bang or cater to their whims or if you are Hugo Schwyzer then you are beta. And if you bang only one woman and if she loves you serves you and is willingly submissive then you are alfa.
Any man however must recognize that he is the true polygamous sex and that monogamy is not his duty but a mere choice, sometimes a gift to a certain woman if she really deserves it and until she deserves it, but who has no right whatsoever to demand it, she may merely be grateful.
“…and caused the Ukrainian girl much grief and pain.”
It’s a strange thing, to be with a woman capable of real feeling. Such a departure from American girls.
Your final paragraph sucked donkey balls. Reread any post by Mark Minter and re-evaluate your position.
I’m in my 40′s and there is no way I can bed 20+ different women a year like I could in my early 30′s. But I still keep at least 3 vaginas on rotation at all times and will never, and I mean NEVER, get in a committed relationship with a vagina again.
Just because you cannot pull like you once did because of age doesn’t mean you need to default to a relationship. For fuck’s sake…
So in the end you’re just gonna settle for a mediocre girl?
Then what was the point of it all? Why develop yourself as a man, test out numerous women, and then settle?
I’m staying uncommitted until I find a special women. And if I don’t find that special women, I’d rather die alone. No compromises.
If we define Alpha in terms of evolutionary success, then having a “Beta style relationship” is actually a very Alpha strategy.
The only reason to develop relationship game is because you found a woman that you think would be great genetically and for raising your kids, and you want to be involved in their lives. If that’s not the case, then any relationship is just going to be a constant annoyance.
It’s not about your skills atrophying or settling, it’s about hitting specific goals.
Shave off your beard! You’ ll look five years younger. By the time you hit forty, just settle for girls in their late 20′s or early 30′s. Believe me, they’ ll look young enough to you as you get older!
If one treats sex as a hobby, one quickly realizes that getting into the higher echelons of performance takes many sessions with the same girl, as in any pair-sport. One-night stands mean settling to mediocre sex. Agreed?
I’d also add, Player: “If she wants to break things off with me, thats fine”. Great post. I’m in a dating scenario with a girl now and I’m proud to say I’ve had each of the player thoughts listed.
Your skills will never slip to the point that you should ever compromise to an LTR. Your my fucking hero and the role model that I would tell any boy that he should emulate.
Monogamist beliefs read like AFC beliefs. What percentage of dudes in LTRs are AFCs, I wonder.
Still missing Mariana?
Roosh: “I know that there will be a day when my player abilities falter and I can’t pull like I used to. In that case I will land a reasonable girl and make a reluctant go out of it. I have no doubt that player beliefs will still try to destroy the effort, but by then there will just be one monogamist belief that will defeat them all: “You can’t do better than this.” ”
Actually that ‘belief’ will be a true-ism for any man once he reaches a certain age say in his 60′s and up.
But there is an even more important fact you should consider: From what I understand even older men who are no longer in the game are regretting just simply getting a dog to grow old with, rather than saddle up with some nagging old shrew.
When one considers just how fucked up todays young females are both in the western and westernizing world, do you really expect them not to still have worms in their heads even when they get old when one factors in that they are nursed on social media, smartphone technology, and gynocentric culture? The way I see it, when any of us are ready to settle down, we will have to choose between getting a dog, or a beyond-fucked-up version of Norma
I will happily adopt a dog!
Real alphas have both — YES Both committed relationship (you’re daily bread) and you’re fun times out with the ladies.
I’m not going to debate the morals of this position. It just works for some who have the balls to the girls how it’s going to be. I learned the following from a bartender who *claims* to bed many women of all levels….
“If we’re going to hookup, understand that three things: 1. I already have a girl, 2. The sex has to be amazing, and 3. No one else can know we’re together. If you agree to that, we can hook up”
It works! Just tell women that you’re having your cake and eating it too. Women can still do the calculus and decide that half of something is better than all of nothing.
I’m just saying there are more than just pure monogamy and pure polygamy.
Relationships are fulfilling in and of themselves.
No one wants to bang a bar whore every week, it’ll get boring after a year.
This what you should NOT want:
settling for ugly or fat bitches
The healthiest man is one who dates multiple young teen women in multiple long-term relationships at the same time.
Let your bitch(es) know you are dating multiple women in parallel for the long-term. Don’t hide it, don’t run scared. Demand her obedience and acceptance.
This arrangement will make you happiest and reduce your risks from the tyranny of feminist control.
By the way, there’s NO such thing as ALPHA, BETA, OMEGA, CUMBEGGA etc.
There is only 2 types of men:
1. Man who gets his sexual and relationship needs met with attractive, young, fun multiple women.
2. Man who is married to an aging pig, has children or is a mind slave to society’s feminist conditioning (ie. a mangina)
It’s not an issue of “can I do better?”. But one of needing variety..
I just read the comments. Fuck.
Rollo has a couple of posts on some concepts that were constructions that played into the Feminine Imperative. The Mid Life Crisis was one he pointed out. Psychiatrists set Mid Life Crisis at 50. 50!! But any guy that is even over 35 that strikes out against what women believe the “Good Man” should be doing gets accused of having a “Mid Life Crisis”. Any older guy that goes after a younger girl, or buys a sports car is “Middle Age Crazy”. Any guy that doesn’t allow the yoke to be attached to him and keep pulling the plow gets accused of it, ridiculed, shamed.
So in my book every one of those comments that the Monogamous man in your post made, like “Casual sex is shallow. There’s no deep connection or love.” or especially “I want to grow old with the person I love. This is what humans have done for hundreds of thousands of years.” are conditioned values of this sort that play into the hands of the Feminine Imperative. Everything the guy said fit the category.
And these values really have no base in reality. But idiot men just buy into them because it is a conditioned value that is pounded into their head.
The best sex is in the first 90 days. Duh!!! After that the shit gets old with same old sameness. Gary Shandling had a part of his act that he said after having sex with someone over and over and over and over “First we do this, then we do that, then now comes the part where she says ‘Yeah yeah you’re my cowboy’”.
The reality is that you’ll be thinking of some girl you saw in the supermarket while you’re fucking your wife in order to try to even have an orgasm. The reality is that you’ll jerking off in the shower because she wants sex about 1/5 of what you do. The reality is that after a few years of marriage you will probably prefer porn to your wife. And the reality is that porn IS better than your wife.
And as for growing old with her. You’ll be sleeping in different bedrooms and no fucking way will you be wanting to fuck that old beast. You’ll be thinking “If I have to watch her fucking chew like a cow one more time I am surely going to choke her and shoot myself”.
And the only way any relationship with a typical self absorbed “strong and independent woman” is ever going to work and not blow up is if you kiss her ass. Yeah, there are about 20% of women that are submissive and like to be lead. But the rest think men are idiots and need to be told what to do and be pounded and harassed to make sure they do it.
Nicolae Ceaușescu was that Romanian dictator that was executed after the fall of Communism. The joke goes the officer of the firing squad asked him “Any last requests?” He replied “Shoot her first so I can have a moment of peace before I die”.
And this whole fear of being “The Lonely Old Man” is nonsense. It might be one of the biggest bullshit ones that there is. My ass is old and I am alone and I not fucking lonely. I am giddy with the happiness of not having a shrew on my back all the time. I am giddy with the fact that I eat what I want. That I do what I want. That I can have the house in the condition that I want without some bitch on my back. You are not going to be lonely. And the way statistics are going, there will probably be a lot of single women when you get older and that means a lot of single men. That old Lonely Old Man cliche might have worked 50 years ago when everyone was married but not today. And most people assume men that are alone are lonely and even if you asked one and he says “No I’m not”, the Feminine Imperative says “Yes he is. He is just saying that. But he’s lonely.” I’m not lonely. Get it. I’m going to go outside and smoke a joint right now and no one is going to fuck with me about it. That’s how lonely I am. Be back in a minute.
OK. I’m back. Guess what? No one is fucking with me right now.
So the point is that men are full of bullshit conditioned values and the degree to which they are bullshit is almost impossible for men to know until it is too late.
So I say this, over and over and over, you have to stay out of LTRs exactly because you don’t know where the conditioned bullshit ends and reality begins.
Roosh, look at your life, how you live. To me, you are a fucking hero. To me, you are blazing a path that millions of readers can read about and it breaks the mold of what cliche says about men that fuck lots of women. To me, the real virtue of your blog is that it is truly a first person narrative and that in writing, you humanize womanizing, you personalize it.
To me, your behavior is the only sane response to the reality of women, divorce and family law and how it is applied today.
To me, it is the only path that a young man should follow to dodge bullets and not be torn apart emotionally by women as they are today.
To me you are not a womanizer, you’re a Don Juan.
If you objectify women, they fucking deserve it.
It would be great if all relationships worked out happily ever after.
But they don’t, most don’t, and half of marriages end in the shitter where the woman divorces for whatever frivolous reason she wants. She can put a life blow on a man that dwarfs anything else, job loss, death of family members, even serious illness.
And half of those women will.
She is the biggest jeopardy and potential enemy that a man will ever have. Iranians, Chinese, and Arabs are not 10% of the immediate threat that your LTR poses.
And you teach men how to avoid that LTR, how to keep from getting stung in a way that a man might never get over.
But look at how society in general looks at what you do. Look at the accusation that the word, Womanizer, conveys. To most of the women and some of the men, you’re a villain. Rooshama Been Laid’em. Do they appreciate how hard it is? How much will it takes? How much skill it takes? No.
So what I say is that Player’s voice speaking to you in your head is the only voice that is telling you the truth.
Frankly, and this will piss a lot of people off, but I think just about all of Christianity is conditioned crap to push men into marriage, slavery, and behaviors that are socially cooperative but often do not work in the better interest of the man. What’s taboo? Typically anything that conflicts with the Female Imperative. Is masturbating taboo?? Is premarital sex taboo?? Is looking at porn taboo? Prostitutes? Womanizing??? Do all of things play into the hands of the Feminine Imperative where men have no other outlet for sex other than marriage??? What is the tact that modern religion is taking today? What is their ongoing Political theme? Pro Family. Meaning Pro Woman. Nietzsche said it. Christianity is Woman’s religion.
So we’re forging a new consciousness together and it is going to take some time. You can read some of these comments and see how people, even Red Pill men, are going to cling to old conventions and conditioning. But eventually, enough men are going to speak up and enough gifted writers like Roosh are going drag these moldy old ideas out to the trash bin of history where they belong.
To me, Roosh just might one of most dangerous fucking men in the world today. To me, most of the other bloggers and writers in the manosphere point out what’s wrong, including me. But Roosh says “This how we do it”. And if it catches on and most men do it this way, then there will be profound social changes.
Funny, Rooshism countering Feminism.
But anyway, until we get this new male consciousness thing worked out where truth talks and bullshit walks ….
I agree with posts #5, #7, & #19 to fit the “American” ways of the wild nowadays. The less monogamous of which fit best when your player ways cannot be subdued, or the girl is not as truthful or fulfilling as she should be for you, per your expectations which are made clear early on, should you try to go to full monogamy first that is.
I have a girl that’s going Nancy Drew on my ass, while we’ve been together the better part of a year now. Simply put, I’m putting in substantially more than at times than she is, make her aware of it, yet she goes right back to her old ways of expecting supplication from me. The intervals of the roller coaster of her expecting me to bend to her ways are increasing and she is getting shuffled down my priority list quickly.
Ironically, the sex has been damn good, and continues to evolve surprisingly. The sexual attraction is there but the human connection wanes too often. She is so high maintenance that it interferes with any quality evolution of human connection, and due to this, she will wind up with shitty ending because of her neediness and disrespect toward me. Her loss, others await.
so does this mean the Bang:retirement homes book ive eagerly awaited will never be written?
Roosh, I like your blog but why you persist with completely pointless sex 2.0 beliefs (like you have to choose between monogamy and being a player) is beyond me.
You want to have multiple relationships? Cool, be unfenced and be honest about it.
With that amount of traveling that you do and your level of game, having dozens of GFs and being honest with all of them and having them be ok with it should not be beyond your capabilities.
Just stop clinging to your old ideas.
@ Marc Minter
This is all clear to you, because some bitch put you through the wringer.
Asking all the guys who read this blog to forgo LTRs is asking a lot. Most of them are here because they are hardly getting laid or have never been laid. They’re a bunch of video gamers and desk jockeys who come from lower genetic stock. They are not natural alphas. Most probably will end up in a LTR with the first girl that sorta seems right for them.
Then they’ll marry her and get put through the wringer like you and probably come out thinking just as you on LTRs. And they’ll probably also feel really happy to finally be alone, when being alone was the last thing they wanted in their virginal 20s.
But it’s a real stretch to think that young men who are struggling to get laid are going to be able to renounce a LTR with that girl they lay with their newfound Game who is a solid 7 or 8. They’re going to think they struck gold being able to tap that ass on demand and will want to lock it up.
Perhaps the best way to convince these young guys is, as you point out, to have Roosh get enough of a following that this sort of lifestyle becomes socially validated by many men living it. Should that happen than all the betas who are trying to become alphas can more easily follow along.
i agree with Mark Minter.
Roosh is like a “third hero” of Ernst Jünger:
“He is not a defender of the old and not an apologist for the new. He is the Third Hero, Third Imperial Hero (according to Niekiesch), the new Titan, in whom, through the utmost concentration of modernism in its most venomous and traumatic forms, through industrial and frontal chaos, opens up a special transcendental aspect, which mobilizes him for a metaphysical, heroic act.
The Laborers are people of the trenches, factories, “nomads of asphalt,” deprived of inheritance in technocratic civilization, taking the challenge of split reality and amassing in their souls special energies of a great rebellion,as brutal and objective as the agressive nature of industrial- bourgeois environment.” ( http://openrevolt.info/2011/09/09/der-arbeiter/ )
You guys want to be part of a club who will never accept you. Groucho Marx in reverse.
A quality woman will simply not accept being pumped and dumped. You want smart and fun women? Well if she is smart she will know that you plan on dumping her when she starts showing some wrinkles.
So no quality women for you fellas.
Of course you can forget quality and just bang dumb hot girls with poor impulse control. It can be very fun. Intoxicating really. But it’s really hard to pull that off once you get older. Unless you’re willing to move to SEA and pay, which many on the manosphere have been advocating.
Is that your deal? It’s one thing to refuse marriage because the women suck. But don’t make virtue out of necessity.
Roosh keeps me reminding me why I come back to this blog. A smart, mature post. Kinda self-defeating though. Nobody’s gonna buy your books if you settle down.
National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood or NO MAAM
It wasn’t just one bitch. It was a gender of them. A regular Macy’s parade of bitches. I’ve slept with 80 women in my life and I was married for 17 years. I actually got more radical after I got a divorce had to re-enter the sexual marketplace.
And It is not just me. I lot of what I write is from the collective of writings from men’s blogs, the collective experiences of a lot of men.
It is so typical to shame, to write me off as this lonely bitter old man who got fucked around by one woman and now bears a grudge, that old Coco Chanel saying “The man that criticizes all women, was usually hurt by one woman.” No. It is the millions of divorces that happen every year where 80% of those divorces are filed by women. It is lifetime of watching women, seeing what they do, what they say, how they act, what is important to them, and then learning Red Pill Theory to qualify and quantify that experience in a meaningful manner as consistent with the observations of many, many other men.
The point is that in this era, men that to not have a sexual mating strategy that is based on what is written about in this blog and many others is foolish. He is working with a paradigm that is outdated and doesn’t consider the truth and the reality about women.
Here let give you an example. So after writing my earlier comment, I found this site
http://www.mydailymoment.com. (Has to be a woman’s site with a title like that, no?)
I clicked to it from a story that I was reading on Google News, some mainstream story on the “E” TV site about some “The Price is Right” model receiving a $7.7 million settlement because she claimed the show fired her because she went out on maternity leave. This article was over in the suggested reading section of the E TV web page, a mainstream web page for women. Everyday women, not RadFems or Jezebel readers, but typical normal women.
The title of this article that I clicked to was “4 Reasons To Dump Him”.
Number 1 was “He is not supportive” with sub-items
-Making fun of or belittling your goals and ambitions in career or life
-Making you feel guilty for spending time at work
-Not helping around the house (As per her definition of what “helping” constitutes)
-Ignoring you in times of need or distress (as she defines them)
-Pressuring you into making life decisions like quitting your job, moving or having children
2. You can’t be yourself around him. Are you playing a character of who you think he wants to be with? Not only does this perpetuate a relationship based on lies (even if it’s just through omission), but it also can be detrimental to your emotional well-being.
3. He’s a user. We all know the type – the freeloading dude who spends his days in the coffee shop, nights playing in a band and lives with his parents. However, users aren’t always this easy to spot. It may start slowly as he “forgets” his wallet or has his car “repaired,” but if you notice that these situations are becoming more normal than exceptions, it’s time to run. (In order words, he better pay and he better not have his own times of “need or distress)
4. He doesn’t get along with your friends and/or family. What would life be without your girlfriends? Any person you are seriously considering dating also will most likely spend time with the people in your life who you care about.
So this magazine is a mainstream magazine with lots of typical female followers on Facebook. So distributes the idea that the woman’s job is more important than her man, her friends are more important than her man. It’s all about her, he better accept her as she is and not say a word. And he better pay the check.
This article doesn’t specify whether this applies to a boyfriend or a husband. Just “him”. So it’s fine to divorce your husband, “Kick him to the curb” as the article states, if he doesn’t get along with her friends. Or he isn’t a good little kitchen bitch while she works late, or even if he complains that her life goals and choices might be conflicting with what he wants in life. He is shit, he is secondary, A Ken Doll to her Barbie. And he better totally accept her in all her perfect princessness. But she can change him, make life demands on him, deprive him of his friends and family.
Oh yeah, here are some of the other titles of articles they suggest.
Also check out…
Is Your Love Meant To Be?
A Match Made In Hell? Red Flags That He’s Not the One
The Top 5 Relationship Mistakes That Get In The Way Of Lasting Love
5 Signs He’s Cheating
None of these articles say “Four Signs You Should Keep Him”. “Five Signs He Is a Good man”. “A Match Made in Heaven: Green Flags He’s the One”.
No. Every one of those article feed that ego of hers, enforce her choice addiction, justify her hypergamy, her flakiness, her sense of primacy in her mission, approve and reinforce her leaving. None of them support sticking in there, making of go of it.
This is the mainstream thought of women, men as secondary, men as accessory, men as replaceable, men that had better toe the line that Queenie defines, that he should toe it in the manner that she defines it should be toed today, and will change tomorrow as her hypergamy sees fit.
And this exactly why I write what I write. Men better wake the fuck up and get a clue of what they are dealing with. That bitch is going to leave and she is better left first. Men need to have a clue about what is going on in both the dynamics of the chemical attraction they are feeling and the dynamics of a relationship with today’s woman.
There is no “One”. She is not your fucking soul mate. There are physical dopamines that are cursing through your body that are causing you to feel as you do. It is not some special psychic connection. You’re being drugged.
That bitch’s goal is to enslave you and extract your work, your time, and your material resources in her quest for her biological mission. And once she gets what she wanted, you’re done. Her love is opportunistic, calculated, and most important, temporary. She will sacrifice nothing for you yet she demands your supreme and total sacrifice to even sit at the table. And she and society make you believe how trivial your sacrifice and contribution are when the reality is that it is fucking huge.
So they only way for men to avoid this is to move, keep his hands up, protect himself at all times, set a 90 day limit and leave. Even if he finds his special little HB7 or 8. That is exactly when to Game.
Pump her, dump her, next her. Get her before she gets you. Be quicker on the fucking draw.
So I don’t agree with who you say is reading this blog, but I hope it is young boys that have low SMV right now, because their SMV will grow and if they can get one HB 7-8, then there will be another. Maybe not tomorrow, but if you learn game, apply game, practice game, live game then there will be others.
The whole essence of RooshV is that if he can do it, then another man can do it. A man just needs to set his mind to it, gain the internal will and strength to begin to approach, to learn from failure, to adjust, to calibrate, to get better.
And to get more options other than being foolish and leaping into an LTR with the first reasonably cute girl that gives him a Whiff of Jiff.
If that young man acts as a typical AFC then he will give undo and undeserved value to that woman as a result of Scarcity Model. And he is setting himself up to become a slave. And a sacrifice at the Alter of the Perfect Little Princess Angel and her cheering section chanting “You go, girl” when she fucks him around and kicks him to the curb for whatever transgression her Hamster dreamed up to justify her actions.
Game is even more important at the threshold of an LTR, that he have his eyes wide open to the physical feelings he is having, to the statistical probability of success in the situation he is in.
And when he senses the inevitable trouble that will be coming, then his game skills will give him the confidence to get the fuck out and avoid one less ass whipping and not have his life torn apart so that princess can be princess.
So fuck you. It wasn’t just one.
Truth is after a while you simply get tired of being a player. That lifestyle sucks. Indeed you have to have a lot of time to be a player. I did that a summer long this year. You have success for sure in this field. But in other fields you start to suck. That is one reason I think a lot of people choose a girl and stay with her. They simply don’t have the time to go out on every week ends lets say and chase after girls and so on…maybe im wrong…who knows…you have to do what u love…if you love fucking a lot of girls…that is your way…after a while you don’t see a difference anymore,,,the excitement characters stays for sure
Roosh your grandfather was an Iranian with tons of wives.
I would think it’s weird for you NOT to be out roaming the world bedding women with that type of pedigree!
It’s a genetic pedigree…some men get more happiness from monogamy while other men get more happiness roaming the world.
I have seen far too many ‘loved up’ couples at all ages to think any different.
I just think it’s all very amusing.
Yes, the estimable Roosh is in double bind now. So much — most?– of his income is dependent on selling techniques for constantly acquiring new women. He can hardly be seen as objective.
And the harpy-like howling of Mr. Minter is about the least convincing ad for the wonderful freedom of singledom.
It borders on bizarre to repeatedly, adamantly issue an edict that no man should have a LTR– the implied assertion is that one should kick to the curb even a woman who has been loyal, sexual, adorable, and supportive.
Think of the Asperger-like rigidity of a man who says” You’ve been really nice, but you have to pay for the misdeeds of other women , and it’s been 90 days now, so see-ya.”
People all have different family backgrounds and genetic pair bonding predisposition. The harrowing account Mr. Minter repeatedly, repeatedly makes of his misery in marriage is simply not universal.
Perhaps his inability to listen to the indisputable fact that millions of others have happy LTRs reflects his own constitutional inability to listen– which might make a happy LTR with him impossible — because of his lack of a sympathetic nature.
Roosh doesn’t sell techniques for constantly acquiring new women. Roosh sells chronicles of his travels that others may find useful. He rarely writes of extreme viewpoints that I do. But he does give exposition on some of the traits and tendencies of women that I base a lot of my ideas on. I frankly don’t see him in a bind at all, in that he must toe a philosophical line to further his sales. And I’ve read him religiously and I have no reason to doubt his veracity nor his objectivity. When you write about the tendencies and behaviors of women, it’s like shooting fish is barrel. There’s a lot of material left no matter how much is written to date.
And subsequently, given the current mindsets and behaviors of the modern women, I do not think he will be either, at a loss of material nor a lack of growing audience that has become more and more open and receptive to the idea perhaps that women are bitches and you can ruin your life with one. And that to roll, to remain as player, to reject the current regime of what the life of men should entail, is the better, safer, and more enjoyable course.
Whether I am a truly flawed individual, which I am, whether I am asperg or not, or any other ad hominem attack or argument, doesn’t change the reality of the facts that 50% of marriages end in divorce, with the man on the losing side of the equation.
So while 50% may not be universal, it is widespread.
I’m pretty sure from the language and the phrase “because I don’t listen” that Mr Pointyface is actually Ms Pointyface. And I don’t want to listen anywmore. And I don’t have to listen anymore, ma’am.
So a man do it your way and he run the risks that he will run knowing everything he knows, the statistics, the stories, etc. And he can let me know how that worked out for him. 50% will come back with a negative story.
My way is pretty foolproof that you will never have your head handed to you, that much that constitutes the injustices that men receive institutionally in America will be avoided, that the man will live somewhat free, somewhat with less stress, retire early, and enjoy his later years in a way that most divorced men will not be able, and a lot of married men.
So statistically, I stand behind my advice. The 90 days comes from experience that is about the time when the woman begins to sink the hook, the “where are we going with this?” question inevitably arises. And it is about the time that the dopamine addiction starts to really grab hold of the mind of a guy. Its also about the time when she begins to set rules, start to try to change the man’s behavior and enforce policy, when the Miss Nice Guy mask starts to wear off.
So frankly, I would rather live my life with a string of serial 90 day relationships with a period of time in between to hunt and gather, to renew, than get trapped into a marriage.
Ok, so my views are extreme, that being a player is not a phase in life that a man outgrows, but rather a viable life long strategy, and that the trends in the future make it more viable and more advisable.
But I am not going to put my trust in a woman who has the legal method, the social reinforcement, and the cheerleading of other women to dynamite the relationship at her whim, especially when she has financial incentive to do so.
Either way, ma’am, a man is actually betting his life on it.
For too long, all the voices only sang one song for men to hear. Add my voice to the growing chorus of voices that all sing a new song, that “There is a different way and you have been sold a line of shit up until now.”
Baby, I don’t shame easy any fucking more.
Eventually you get a point in your life where pussy doesn’t have that much importance anymore. There is more to life than eating, drinking, wearing clothes, and women.
At first it builds your ego and confidence…but then when you have confidence it’s basically shooting fish in a barrel. Trading bodies for a night or three doesn’t mean anything when it comes to being desired by a woman. A woman that wants to be with you because she knows you’re the best man she’s ever going to find on this planet. With an alpha mindset she should think that.
At this point in my life I don’t mind pursing many girls…I need the experience to determine which ones are the ones worth keeping. I hate to break it to most players…but you know the gals that give it up easily aren’t worth keeping. Honestly…how hard is it to get physical with a girl when you know what to do. That’s why sexual chemistry should be low on the list of things you look for. Things like integrity, support, and generosity should be higher.
Betas however place too much importance on the physical because they are wandering in a desert and any woman that is intimate with them seems like an oasis. They never learned the skills to turn women on so they feel they dumb luck their way into it. Never mind the fact she’s a recovering cum dumpster who never learned any basic skills at life…oh did I mention she chopped off her hair, gained 50 pounds, and has a bad attitude? Betas fail because they have the rose colored glasses on when they look at women. Alphas know what women truly are.
I’ll say it again. Mark Minter is a bloody genius!
There are no rational arguments in favour of commitment, be it emotional or legal commitment.
I have to be carefull at all times whenever I’m around women not to fall in their trap. Although somewhat younger than Mark Minter but older than most Roosh or Roissy fans, I can see where he’s coming from. There’s nothing in LTR’s or marriage for a man to make up for all that he loses. Particularly if you’re a loner.
“There is no “One”. She is not your fucking soul mate. There are physical dopamines that are cursing through your body that are causing you to feel as you do. It is not some special psychich connection. You’re being drugged”
Spot on! I have to remind muself every time I’ m with a woman that love is a chemical illusion. It’s all too easy to deceive yourself. That’s why it’s better to avoid seeing them every day. Ther drug is too powerful and it’s called pussy.
Love is not a chemical illusion…infatuation is the chemical illusion. Love takes hard work…and most people don’t have the stones to do it.
I have a rational argument for commitment…it produces more well adjusted children who will be productive members of society and pay into medicare when I get into old age. Single mothers and divorces prove that most kids from those homes don’t fare as well in life. Raising children is what the man makes up for what he loses. Now if you don’t want to do that and be a loner…by all means live that lifestyle, just don’t get a chick pregnant.
Sidenote: I’m still deciding whether I want to be married and have kids or to be a loner so I can see the benefit both ways. I think it’s terrible though to take a dump on marriage just because the government, society, and the judicial system corrupted it.
Hey, marriage cannot exist outside of society and our laws! What’s left in it for us? Not even rearing our children. Women and judges decide on a whim who raises them and how.
Well up until whenever the government and judicial system decided to stick its nose into marriage…it was mostly a religious institution which only allowed men to grant a divorce. I would say worked pretty well for most of human history. Things went south when Uncle Sam and Aunt Feminist Judge got involved. Now women are getting no fault divorced, not marrying, raising kids without fathers, and think having a toilet paper degree is the reason for living.
My point is there is an upside to commitment…at this point in history though it’s going to be very hard to find that upside.
Greg, I won’t argue over mere words. What you call love I call affection. What you call infatuation I call love. Crazy little thing called love.
Whats the likelihood ? The woman you have a one night stand with/ date/ fall in love with/ may eventually marry? Whats the likelihood that she is/ was/ will turn out to be, a slutty cunt. You never know.
….because you never know, give the benefit to Your doubt. As Robert De Niro said in Ronin, ” when in doubt, there is no doubt.” Before runnin a resuscitative code on a person, the first step is to ensure Your safety.
Below is an invitation I got from a 34 F three days ago, she is a 6 and is a part of my social circle, I havent banged her yet, she is a classical pianist. I, am what I am, an extra ordinary 32 year old man with nothing to lose.
> You are invited to Angela’s ol fashion Christmas party!!!! Lucky you :p
> When: December 14th
> 7:30 pm-????
> Where: “her address”
> Requirements: look festive, wear a smile
> Games: egg nog chug, charades, pin the nose on Rudolph, wassailing
> Bring: no need to bring anything, but we love wine, sweets or appetizers
> Sent from my iPhone
I replied today:
I cant confirm yet….I need more incentive…someone should play Chopin, clayderman will not do.
regarding your requests…I will dress like a hobo, and my smile needs to be earned.
happy TG :)
…..I found her invitation rude and with no humility. I smile when I am furious.
“I feel more masculine when I provide for my girlfriend.”
Hahahaha, are you fucking kidding me Roosh? What the fuck. Maybe you should stop looking at the world as being either black or white. There are lots of tints of grey out there. Not having had your dick in another vagina for over a month doesn’t make you a provider in my opinion. Being an overall uninteresting guy who compensates for his inability to attract his woman by providing her with financial security does.
At Mark Minter – I always appreciate your posts, but I think you’re a little off on your 90 day rule. All you’ve got to do is NOT marry and keep a strong mindset and you’re all set. As long as you’re getting what you want out of your relationship, keep going.
As long as you didn’t put that slave band on your finger, you can walk whenever you want. You know it, and she knows it, so she’s on her best behavior always.
I’ve been doing this for many years with an amazing woman, and I continuously get everything you’re SUPPOSED to get in a fairytale marriage. Plus a younger sidepiece with a slamming body that is (legitimately) one of my best friends. Plus whatever piece of strange I run into.
I don’t even have to lie anymore, everyone knows the score, and I’m able to use the drama to strengthen my relationships and Hand instead of taking away from it. Yes, you can have your cake and eat it too, all you’ve got to do is NOT put the slave band on your finger.
Traditional Marriage is dead and done. Why take the risk? Sure you can get a somewhat solid prenup, but a woman can always claim she didn’t understood what she signed. To give you an example, what lawyers now recommend is that both parties get a lawyer, you get the whole ordeal videotaped professionally, and you get a third party (retired judge or something) to ask her on video if she understood the terms of the agreement. And I would think she can still go to court and claim she was intimidated by the whole ordeal. The whole process + the ring she wants + the wedding she wants can run you a few years savings easily.
It can work if she’s rich and you are unemployed, but then you are her bitch. Also not optimal, but preferable. As long as your pockets are empty, nobody is going to reach into them.
The only kind of relationship that I would do is of the “Friends with benefits” kinds. It might even be exclusive – on her part, hehe. Problem here: The likelihood of her tricking you into fatherhood rises, so if you can you should get that vasectomy.
In any case you gotta get more out of the relationship than her. And that’s usually not gonna happen and that’s why women want to trick and trap men into relationships or the friendzone or just get free shit from them via the government.
Hey Mark, where the hell is your blog? Dude you really need to put one up if you don’t! You’d definitely attract kindred spirits)
Roosh – Hate to break it to you dude but you have a full-blown infestation of ‘bots on your hands. Might want to call the Orkin Man.
Tl;dr breh. The fact that you wrote not one, but several ‘War & Peace’ length posts is a leading indicator that you couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse with a fist full of twenties.
A distinction should be made between can’t do better because better is out of your league, and can’t do better because you don’t feel that any woman out there is better than the one you have.
I don’t understand how a guy writing a long post equates to his inability to get laid. By that logic a guy writing a book, say one called ‘Bang’, must be a virgin.
Roosh, let’s see if your hymen is still intact!
I basically do some of both. I’m a harem builder. The best girls become my girlfriends and stay longer times in my life. Lesser quality or unmanageable girls come and go all the time to give flavor to my life.
I think guys with red pill knowledge should just already expect whatever relationship with a girl they get into to be short term, and I would concur with Mark Minter’s 90 day rule, seriously just enjoy it while it lasts and move on to the next.
OT: Hey Roosh, in reference to how to avoid cock blockers, what if the chick at the bar you’re trying to hit on is the waitress/bartender? That “Why don’t you buy her a drink.” line wouldn’t work in that context would it? I’m just asking cuz I was recently cock blocked last time I went out and she was already all dreamy eyed toward the competition telling him, “I was thinking about you.” So I just glanced at him with daggers and went back to nursing my beer.
Player: The important thing is how many girls I can have sex with, even that means that most of the sex is kind of crappy because I have to use condoms & we don’t ever really get a feel for each other’s sexuality.
Monogam(ish)ist: The most important thing is the quality of the sexual experience I can have with either one (or a small number of) trusted regular partner(s).
The ultrahot LTR is possible. But it is a difficult balancing act.
Too much ‘player’ vibe = getting dumped ASAP.
Too much ‘beta’ vibe = getting dumped even faster.
Check out the old movie 9 1/2 Weeks, then extend this concept to 9 1/2 months 9 1/2 years etc. Things can get even hotter over time. But no way are these ultra hot LTRs stable.
Am in one now but need to check in to roosh/heartiste daily to navigate.
If it weren’t for the legal system, it would work with marriage too.
So, fear of intimacy and having ourselves and our vulnerabilities exposed to another person, and also the chance of getting eventually hurt by a person we commit to are not factors in this decision-making process?? Really??
Honestly, hopefully not!
I believe Roosh you’re back in Poland.
This sounds like consensus by proxy. Did you go back to visit little egg?
Looks like Bronan is getting plain old fatigued of running a manosphere blog and dealing with hearing the same thing over and over again. I’m sure I would too, and I’m sure Roosh breathes a heavy sigh once in a while over certain less pleasant aspects of his daily tasks.
But like it or not Bronan, all these angry men need to have their say, and if you’re just fed up with them to the point where you’re equating them with commercial spammers and scammers, it reflects badly on YOU, not on THEM. The anti-marriage position, for one, is extremely important and newcomers need to hear it again and again, in all kinds of variations, so that they can get it through their thick skulls enough to at least BEGIN to take that particular part of the Red Pill. Same goes for the rest of the modern disgruntled male themes which you are getting so tired of.
If you’re getting THAT tired of it that you need to create an entire post ridiculing newcomers who can’t help but bring up all the issues you’ve already dealt with a thousand times, then perhaps it’s time to move on, rather than assisting feminists in their work by helping to shame men who are going through various stages of unplugging.
Pursuing multiple girls all the time in not good for meditation. The minds remains agitated and finds it hard to hold the attention of one object exclusively. Exclusive attention to one object is the bread and butter of meditative practices. Those men who want to progress in meditation will do best by being in either a monogamist of committed polygamist relationship.
@ Mark Minter
Went to that webpage of yours… found this article: http://www.mydailymoment.com/horoscope/astrology/is_astrology_a_true_science_.php
Here’s a wonderful quote from it:
“Is astrology a true science? Yes it is, but there are few scientists who understand it. You have to be a pretty highly advanced being to be able to tell the karma of a person and his future.”
Speaks right to the hamster doesn’t it?
Love your posts by the way.
Mark Minter is right. In law school, I swear to God, the scariest fucking class to take was Family Law. Every chapter of that hornbook would give a man nightmares, especially the one on divorce.You will love the part about how your passport can get confiscated by the state if you fall behind on child support. You want to scare yourself into celibacy, read a law textbook on Family Law.
mark Minter is an absolute Genious!!!
Mark minter pleae keep up the posts: You speak “Truth to Power”
@ Mark Minter — What do you think of the whole ‘Game for married men’ thing? Tomassi, Vox Day, Athol McGinnis? I’m sure many people like to see you give their marriage-focused stuff a good read through and then talk about it.
My own view is that of the ancient Greek lawgiver Solon: “Every new day may bring disaster. Call no man happy until you know he has died happy. Until then, he is not happy, but only lucky.”
I am perfectly willing to believe that these married Game/Alpha/whatever experts have LOWER chances of divorce than men mired in the matrix; but how much lower? Nobody knows and there has been NO research, as far as I am aware.
[Roosh: Athol Kay and Athlone McGinnis are TWO DIFFERENT GUYS. The latter is not married.]
Well it’s their fault for having unpronounceable and vaguely similar celtic-sounding names, they should have classy Greco-Germanic names like mine
The truth is that the more western your relationship is the more likeley it is to fail. Women need to be ENTERTAINED at all costs and the western lifestyle casts too wide a net for one man to cover it all. Non-western relationships have a far narrower scope for a man to cover and are therefore more likely to succeed.
Another truth is that a woman may say she loves you more than anything in the world and actually mean it down to the depths of her bones, but the catch is that there is ABSOLUTELY no guarantee that it will be forever…she can change her mind on a whim and once she does there really is nothing that you can do about it.
Also be aware that the more material things you provide for her simply means she will have more to take with her when she leaves so act accordingly.
Most western relationships come with such a high opportunity cost because of the commitment a guy needs to make to keep his girl entertained that it is hardly woth it to stay in a serious LTR.
The best thing a western guy can do long term is handle his business, keep in shape keep a loose rotation of fuck buddies
there comes a time when it is best advised to hang it up and enjoy what else life has to offer. if you’re smart, you’ll know when that time is — i think roosh hit it on the head with his post. if you’re not smart, you become the equivalent of an aging nfl quarterback that just won’t retire. everyone around him knows it is time and feels bad for him, but he just won’t let himself see it.
[...] hat einen Artikel, wie man den inneren Player tötet. Dabei geht es nach seiner Auffassung insbesondere darum, die für den jeweiligen Lebensstil [...]
Enjoyed the article, and agree with most of it.
I’ve been in a long term (4+ year) relationship with a girl that is about a 9. Things have not been easy, but my relationship has brought me much joy.
I wanted to post something here…
Politically Incorrect Advice for Young Men
November 20, 2004
My life was dysfunctional until the age of 50 because I naively accepted the feminist assumptions purveyed by the mass media.
I never imagined the financial elite is engaged in a war to destabilize society by trashing heterosexual roles. This hateful government attack on the traditional family continues unabated today. The purpose is to create a totalitarian New World Order where people are isolated and mind control replaces jackboot.
Like millions of men, I was let “off the hook” by sexual liberation and feminism. Instead of becoming a husband and father, I was free to have sex and search for my “identity.”
Often sex and identity were confused. I didn’t understand that men mature and find direction and purpose by assuming the responsibility of marriage and family. As a result, I suffered from arrested emotional development and missed my opportunity to have a family.
What follows is an antidote to elite feminist propaganda. I don’t want young men to fall into the same trap.
1. The creation of a strong and loving family is perhaps the highest goal to which a man can aspire. This is the natural process by which men (and women) grow over a lifetime. This is how we find love and intimacy. It isn’t for everyone but it is the path to happiness for most.
2. Stop listening to the media, your peer group or parents. “Trust thy self,” Emerson says in Self Reliance (1841) “Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist.” What are your instincts telling you? For example, I always knew I wanted to rule my own roost but feminism prohibited this. Obey your instincts.
3. Make work (not women) your passion. Work is the backbone of a man. Men gain self-confidence from performing a task well, and receiving reward and recognition. Women will try to come between a man and his work but don’t let them. Don’t let anyone or anything thwart your gift. Women do not respect men who make them their first priority. Your work will keep you on course and help you avoid temptation.
4. Our society makes sex, love and female beauty into a phony religion in order to distract and manipulate us. Sex and beauty soon become tedious. The magic ends. Real love develops over a long period of time and is based on trust and caring.
5. Do not put beautiful women on a pedestal. They are flawed like everyone else. They are more trouble because of their sense of entitlement. Do not marry someone based on sexual infatuation. I recount this error in my book “A Long Way to go for a Date.” Never show weakness. In courtship, don’t appear eager. Women interpret this as weakness. Keep your dignity. Nothing earns her respect quicker than rejection. Men think they will be loved for their sterling qualities. This is not so. Women are looking for men who make them feel secure. They want men who exude confidence. If you’re insecure, remember there are many woman more insecure than you.
6. Now that I have emerged from the hormonal haze at age 55, I can see that sex is a fraud and really a minor part of life. Sexual frustration is used to distract and sell us. People wouldn’t be frustrated if they got married at a young age as they did in the 1950′s and started families. Women should marry and have kids before going to university; men after beginning their careers.
7. Society is addicted to sex. The atmosphere is sexualized. Human relationships have been degraded. The best way to fight sex addiction is to get married. Sexual liberation is not wanting sex (because you have it.) I am now happily married and find outside temptation intrusive. Call it male menopause but I switch the channel.
8. Do not marry a woman who doesn’t make you and her family her first priority. Do you want to share your wife with her boss? If you have an aim in life, why would you marry someone who doesn’t support it? Or has a competing agenda? In the marketplace of love, men have the power. Our fertility lasts three times as long as theirs. We are the buyers. There are plenty of fine women, especially if we look abroad.
9. Real women are self-effacing. They put their husbands and their children before themselves. This is how women show love: by self-surrender. Avoid women who compete, control, criticize or complain (the 4 c’s). Avoid women who are overachievers. Don’t get hung up on unavailable women. They’re aren’t as special as they wish you to think. Choose a wife who complements you and is a good companion. Choose one who will be a good mother.
10. Being possessive is natural. A man wants to possess a woman. Women want to be possessed. In the act of love, we say a man “possesses” a woman. Total love equals total possession. This is not the same as domination. It is a partnership based on mutual trust and respect. My wife does not share my political views on many subjects.
11. Think of your seed as your unique spirit and essence. Would you entrust it to a vulgar or mediocre woman just because she is attractive? Ideally we would only have sex with a woman we would want to mother our children. This is why sex was reserved for marriage.
12. The media is doing a number on us regarding children. How often do we see children portrayed in a truly positive light? As the angels they often are? We are rich in proportion to the things we love. The highest love is between husband and wife, and parents and children.
13. Don’t waste your time “looking for God.” We find God by serving Him, and obeying Him. God speaks through our sense of right and wrong, and ideals of absolute truth, justice and love. We are not men if we refuse to sacrifice our “selves” to God ( i.e. obey) . Truth is liberating even if the truth is about our present bondage.
Much of this was common knowledge when I was a child in the 1950′s. Over the years the elite has gradually undermined our understanding of the natural order. It is still doing so by promoting homosexuality which includes lesbianism in the guise of feminism.
An establishment that sows fear and confusion between the sexes, and promotes promiscuity and family breakdown does not have the country’s best interest at heart.
Many of our feminist political, cultural and economic “leaders” are moral whores, dupes traitors and often worse. We resist them by building strong healthy families and giving our children wholesome values.
I only read up to comment 39, yet I have to add some perspective here on the genuine definition of an alpha.
A genetic and evolutionary alpha is someone who reproduces!!! has children. The highest alpha will reproduce in high Quantity AND high Quality. Quality is determined not just by HB#, also by intellect, constitution, heritage, family, compassion, etc.
One MIGHT be able to get away with simply impregnating hundreds of women and running, yet I feel, as a divorced parent myself, that a certain amount of male role model upbringing is imperative to draw out the best in our progeny. This would, indeed, imply an LTR of greater than 90 days.
One of my favorite authors, Arthur C Clark, put forth the radical vision of 5 and 10 year commitments way back in 1960. He stated that marriage was a Christian invention, and more importantly, was designed for humans with an average lifespan of 30 years.
If y’all are interested in a Nihilistic life view where children are irrelevant, have fun. I have lots of player and swinger friends like that. They are also self-terminating their genetic heritages.
A genuine alpha will be looking for a mate with which to produce progeny, whether or not that is a lifemate. Flip the script.
[...] Roosh tiring of the game? [...]
Very few players ever adopt monogamy, even if they do get married. I work with a lot of high status “ex”-players, and those whom I’ve gotten to know well all cheat on their wives.
I don’t think any man who doesn’t know game at a fundamental level should ever get married. Being in a serious relationship does weaken your game, but as long as you know the proper roles of man and woman, you will keep your woman in check without stressing over it. She is yours.
[...] recently had a post which suggested deciding what you want and then reframing it so that you’ll be happy with it. Basically Roosh suggested controlling your emotions, not be controlled by them. When you really [...]
[...] was reading the comment section of Roosh’s “How To Kill The Player Inside You” and came across commenter Mark Minter. He [...]
The end of this hits me with the same pang of sadness that the cliche of old ex-highschool football players who peeked young and can’t find happiness in the present when they’ve lionized the past so thoroughly do.
Except the football player is kind of a measly little troll whose whole identity is based on not having an actual identity in order to get laid.